Да здравствует богиня привлекательности!

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Первыми увидьте рисунки того, что только что случилось или нет!

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Новости, слухи, пропаганда - решать вам.

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Всё на вазах!

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Тиран объявлен самым сексуальным царём.

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Ты серьёзно?

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Ты всё время продаёшь одну и ту же фигуру. Меня не проведёшь.

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Жадный царь не хочет покупать вазу.

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Я прикажу тебя убить.

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Тиран угрожает СМИ.

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Смотри, приятель.

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Ты лучший в мире дедушка.

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Правда? Люди это знают?

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Я признан самым сексуальным царём.

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Странно хвастаться этим своей сестре.

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Ладно, так из-за чего такого срочного ты отвлекла меня от примерки плаща?

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Помнишь, ты сказал "Это хорошее место для города",

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а я сказала "наверно нет, потому что в дне ходьбы отсюда орда каннибалов"?

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А я сказал, "Любое место в дне ходьбы от орды каннибалов.

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Поэтому город будет огромным".

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В чём проблема?

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Откройте!

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От наших соседей, убивАйцев.

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Если они правда каннибалы,

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то горящая голова для них - как для нас корзина с фруктами.

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Эй, эта голова - твоя задница!

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Будь выше этого.

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Это поучительный момент.

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Поучительный?

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Тогда дай мне научить земледельцев сражаться.

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Тогда мы будем сражаться вместо возделывания земли.

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И что мы тогда будем есть?

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Так каннибализм и побеждает.

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Я знаю, что я младший брат, но ты должна мне довериться.

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Будущее за цивилизацией.

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Дикарство в прошлом.

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И это прошлое мы оставили позади.

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Богиня на чудовище, поберегись.

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Прошлое за моей спиной, да?

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Ага.

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Мама, папа. Почему вы здесь и почему не можете остаться?

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Мы услышали, что вы строите новомодный город,

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от чего-то что мы ели и/или с чем занимались сексом.

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Надеюсь, вы не ждёте, что я останусь в этой дыре дольше дня.

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Привет. Моя семья вам поклоняется.

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Неделю максимум.

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Хороший вкус вашей семьи будет вознаграждён.

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Нам нравится, что вы сделали с весной.

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Это Деметра. Змея.

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Если кому-то буду нужна я, ДелИрия,

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я буду в нелепо выглядящем дворце.

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Ты всё еще бессмертная, да, мама?

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Конечно, я бессмертная.

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Я богиня.

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Что ты за идиот такой?

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Идиот с мечтой.

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Убивайцы испытывают нас на слабость.

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Мы должны объявить им войну.

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Если мы будем с кем-то воевать, то в живых останешься только ты.

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Формально это будет победа.

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Я это сделал.

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Я устроил взрыв нарочно, вроде как.

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Понадобилось всего три вида пороха и два помощника.

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Из этого можно сделать оружие?

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Как ты это назовёшь?

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Наверно, я должен назвать это в честь Боба.

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Хотя Том тоже сделал большой вклад.

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Я назову это "бо-м-ба".

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ГиппокАмп, я просил тебя придумать письменность.

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Пф, письменность.

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Брат, я люблю тебя, но я стал учёным не чтобы делать обычных людей умнее.

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Я сделал это, чтобы они боялись моей божественной силы!

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Подсади, пожалуйста.

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Ну вот, Ти.

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Мы можем воевать с кем захотим.

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У нас есть бо-м-ба.

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Говори просто "бомба". Ты же не пещерный человек.

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Мы не победим варваров, взрывая женщин и детей.

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Каким я после такого буду выглядеть на вазе?

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Суровым с варварами?

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Живым?

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Как эта семья стала такой циничной?

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Приготовьтесь разочаровать богиню Делирию!

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Что здесь делает деревянная плита?

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Это дверь.

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Поверни ручку.

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Вчера здесь не было деревянной плиты.

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Поверни ручку!

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Я не знаю, что такое ручка.

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Протяни руку и...

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Смертным обязательно заполнять пустое пространство хламом из дерева?

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Это называется цивилизацией, мать.

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Ага, да, очень броское имя.

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Как все спали? Я скажу первым.

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С вашей матерью и эротично.

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Что мы едим? Неважно. Мне нравится.

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Тираны, где твои рабы строят мой храм?

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Это граждане, а не рабы.

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У нас всё более современно,

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мы обходимся без храмов.

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Вы посмотрите на длину этих теней.

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Возможно, я опаздываю на встречу.

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Изобрети способ измерять время.

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Кто знает, может быть, я уже опережаю график.

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Заставь людей мне поклоняться, сынок.

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Я создала тебя не веселья ради.

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Хотя мне было весело, должен признать.

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Во всех современных городах есть храмы.

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Большинство в честь Афины, потной стервы.

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Я слышал, Афина получает все эти храмы,

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потому что у нее есть секрет.

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Правда?

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Мне без разницы, но какой?

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Говорят, что ее самую малость любят люди.

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Не злись на него, дорогая.

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Он бесится, когда он загнан в угол.

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Это досталось ему от отчасти скорпиона, отчасти льва, отчасти орла, отчасти коня.

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Никто меня не злит.

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Тем более сравнивая меня с Афиной.

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Потому что я не вонючая бездарность.

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Я ухожу. Случайное животное.

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Проклятье.

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Случайное наземное животное.

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Она горяча даже в виде страуса.

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Эй, хочу тебе сказать. Твоя бомба была шикарной. Даже лучше, чем шикарной.

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Ее не описать словами.

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Это просто бомба.

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Да, на это и три сандалии я куплю себе стакан козьего молока.

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Наверно, начну работу над письменностью.

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Это так скучно.

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Ненавижу!

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Перевёрнутые сиськи.

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Что это может быть?

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Эй, осторожней с наукой!

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Почему мы работаем на младшего брата?

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В чём он вообще хорош?

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Как я видел, он говорит бессильным людям, что они сильные.

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Им это нравится, поэтому они отдают ему всю власть.

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Но он не понимает, что делает.

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Убивайцы - опасные, жестокие варвары.

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Они должны умереть во взрыве.

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Но сделав это за его спиной, мы лишимся работы.

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За своей спиной он об этом не узнает.

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Ты права.

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Похоже, ты не просто силачка.

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Что? Возьми свои слова назад.

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Незачем. Ты это опровергла.

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Успокойтесь все.

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Вы ведёте себя так, будто это первая горящая человеческая голова на колу.

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Когда на самом деле она третья.

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Похоже, многие об этом не знали.

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Я вижу поднятую руку.

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Я думала, в городах безопаснее, чем в дикой природе.

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Я жила в дикой природе.

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Там не было горящих голов.

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Ребята, забудьте, что я король. Давайте начистоту.

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Скажите троноделу, что я люблю говорить начистоту.

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Он поймёт, о чём я.

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Знаете, почему они ведут себя страшно?

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Они ленивые.

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Им будет проще, если вы сбежите.

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Чтобы напугать их, мы должны быть еще ленивее.

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В этом смысл цивилизации.

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Отказываться двигаться, сажать еду рядом с постелью,

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есть, когда захочется,

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и какать прямо там, где хоронишь родителей.

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Хотите прогнать варваров?

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Пусть с вами будет тяжело.

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Станьте медленными, толстыми и скучными.

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Восстаньте и сядьте.

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Извините.

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Хочу добавить, я тоже люблю цивилизацию.

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И надеюсь, религия будет ее частью.

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Лично я люблю молиться вашей матери, великой Делирии.

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А, кстати говоря, у вас тут вообще есть место, где все молятся, или...

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Надо же. Загадочный бородатый путник, которого никто в жизни не видел.

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Как часто это случается? Только когда мама бухнёт.

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Узрите, всё это время я была собой.

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Вы все прошли какое-то мое испытание.

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Да, да, мы прошли испытание.

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Моя мать, дамы и господа. Богиня умения вовремя остановиться.

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Ладно. Я уйду.

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Мы любим вас, Делирия.

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Ладно, я останусь.

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Поддержите царя, народ.

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Править, очевидно, нелегко.

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Я шучу.

00:08:04,870 --> 00:08:06,160

Мой сын - прирождённый царь.

00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:10,410

Какая еще есть работа для тридцатилетнего девственника, не умеющего махать мечом?

00:08:12,210 --> 00:08:13,120

Мне двадцать девять.

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Извини, дорогой.

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Когда ты говоришь через нос, ничего не понять.

00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,750

Ему не достался голос завоевателя.

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Впрочем, ничего другого ему тоже не досталось.

00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:24,890

Знаете, что правда смешно?

00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:26,720

Она живёт вечно, но она мертва внутри.

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И по ее вине я ужасен с женщинами.

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Согласен. Это не уморительно смешно.

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Вот вам правда. Она здесь, потому что у нее нет выбора.

00:08:35,820 --> 00:08:38,110

Она разбазарила свою власть.

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Теперь ей нужны последователи.

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И она думает, что вы такие дураки, что построите ей храм.

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Сделаем это!

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Храм, храм, храм, храм, храм!

00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:53,790

Делирия, богиня, любимая людьми.

00:09:01,590 --> 00:09:02,920

Сын, вопросик.

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Какие из одомашненных животных даже не обсуждаются с точки зрения секса?

00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,060

Что это такое?

00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,890

Это заколдованные от богов доспехи.

00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:13,520

Я берёг их для дня, когда я убью мать.

00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:14,890

Отойди.

00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:17,770

Если ты купил их у КсАнтеса из Нигерии,

00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:20,110

то знай, что они из жести.

00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:21,440

Заколдованной жести.

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Ай! Они режут меня!

00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:24,650

Он прохиндей сын.

00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,950

Сними их.

00:09:26,030 --> 00:09:28,070

Ты надел костюм из ножниц.

00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,280

Ты ведь на самом деле не хочешь убивать мать?

00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,330

А что, ты мне поможешь или помешаешь?

00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:37,420

Именно. Папа, ты не можешь дать мне совет. Ты ничего не делаешь.

00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:40,170

Кроме, время от времени, невообразимых вещей с курицами.

00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,410

Ошибаешься, сын.

00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:45,920

Я пришёл сюда специально, чтобы узнать насчёт куриц, перед тем как...

00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,670

Знаешь, кто хорош в том, что мама уважает?

00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:49,000

Мёртвые люди.

00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,210

Знаешь, за кем будущее?

00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:53,220

Дипломаты, переговорщики, воротилы.

00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,930

Те, кто делает дела, вроде меня.

00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,930

Если она не будет мне мешать.

00:09:57,970 --> 00:09:58,890

Я тебе верю, сын.

00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:00,220

Человечество на подъёме.

00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:02,390

Одно то, что вы сделали с курицами...

00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,270

Папа.

00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,350

Позволь спросить.

00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,100

Если тебе дан дар договариваться,

00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:11,320

почему ты не можешь договориться с матерью?

00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,530

Так, кладите их туда.

00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:14,610

Нужно ровнее.

00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,990

Нет. Сделайте вот так.

00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:18,660

Просто сделайте так четыре раза и...

00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:19,870

И самой построить храм?

00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:23,000

Блестящая идея. Вот еще одна. У кого еще есть что добавить?

00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:23,933

Привет.

00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:27,460

Если ты прячешь нигерийский убивающий богов кинжал, я тебя огорчу.

00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:28,330

Я с предложением.

00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:29,960

Тебе нечего предложить.

00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,090

Будь это так, тебя бы здесь не было.

00:10:32,170 --> 00:10:36,430

Когда я родила тебя, то мечтала, что ты завоюешь мир, богов и всех остальных.

00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,890

И когда они поднимут взгляд и спросят: Кто ты?",

00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,970

ты ответишь: "Я сын Делирии.

00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,180

И вам следовало быть с ней повежливее".

00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:44,560

Это не плохая мечта, мама.

00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,680

Но мы должны друг другу помочь.

00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,350

Моему городу нужна защита.

00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,520

Тебе нужен храм.

00:10:49,570 --> 00:10:50,560

Людям нужен отдых.

00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,820

Это я пробовала. Они все сломаны.

00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:54,440

Я шевелю их конечностями.

00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,160

Объясни еще раз.

00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,240

Подарим им огромного деревянного коня.

00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:04,200

Они решат, что внутри мужики, и подожгут его.

00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,750

Но в нём бомба, поэтому будет бум.

00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:08,830

Да, но почему конь?

00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,210

Не знаю.

00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:13,590

Я спросил себя: какой самый дурацкий подарок можно сделать?

00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:16,590

Ближе не надо. Погнали.

00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:18,590

Эй!

00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:23,180

Я ЗадоубИвец, сын Убивца, истребитель задниц.

00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:25,680

- Круто.

- Соболезнования задницам.

00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:28,480

Вы просто отдаёте его нам?

00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:29,560

Он роскошен.

00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:31,520

Я бы так не сказал.

00:11:31,610 --> 00:11:35,570

На вашем месте я бы его подожгла. Позже.

00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:36,740

С ума сошли?

00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:38,900

Я буду вечно им дорожить.

00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,870

Вы настолько уверены, что внутри нет мужиков?

00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:44,200

Почему бы не поджечь его? Позже.

00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:48,370

Почему для вас так важно, чтобы мы его подожгли?

00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:53,000

В нашей культуре владение преходяще, как кони.

00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:57,090

Тогда как огонь вечен, как дружба.

00:11:57,930 --> 00:12:00,090

Мне нравится ваша культура.

00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:02,180

Я объявлю мир с КрапОполисом.

00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:05,720

Сегодня будем пировать вокруг горящего коня дружбы!

00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:11,350

Это так неловко.

00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,190

Вы знаете, наш народ никогда раньше не танцевал.

00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:15,440

По вам не скажешь.

00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:17,530

Извините, что мы еще не подожгли коня.

00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:22,780

Я хочу посадить наших самых старых женщин и маленьких детей как можно ближе.

00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:24,200

Мы пойдём.

00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,950

Но слушайте, наверно не стоит поджигать коня.

00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,290

О, мы его подожжём.

00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:34,540

Все в мире увидят это и поймут, что с ненавистью и насилием покончено.

00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,750

Не стыдитесь слёз.

00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:40,960

Я поплачу вместе с вами.

00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,040

Теперь можно быть ранимыми.

00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,880

Благодаря вам.

00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,840

В коне бомба!

00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,170

Что такое бомба?

00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:53,300

Ужасное, разрушительное, крутое новое оружие,

00:12:53,350 --> 00:12:57,810

созданное, чтобы убить всех вас сразу.

00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,650

Схватить их!

00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:04,980

Нет!

00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:06,610

Не сопротивляйтесь.

00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:08,650

Мы должны.

00:13:08,740 --> 00:13:10,110

Извините.

00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,820

Извините. Извините.

00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:13,780

Хватит всех бить.

00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:15,160

Я должна.

00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,790

Вы ужасные люди.

00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:20,210

Теперь мы это знаем.

00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:23,830

Вы хорошо танцуете, ребята.

00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,790

Мы любим вас.

00:13:29,370 --> 00:13:31,500

Не подгоняй меня так. Моя шея сломается.

00:13:31,590 --> 00:13:33,170

Я слишком долго ждала.

00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:36,760

Боги же не примчатся обратно сразу, как только я положу последний...

00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,090

О, моя богиня.

00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:39,470

...кирпич.

00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:41,010

Кто вернулся на уровень храмов.

00:13:41,090 --> 00:13:42,680

Гермес.

00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:44,970

Наслаждаешься напитком?

00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,100

- У меня нет...

- У меня тоже. Прискорбно, нет?

00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:48,640

Принеси два нектара, Ти.

00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:50,190

Тебя не хватает на Олимпе.

00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:51,190

Это ложь.

00:13:51,270 --> 00:13:52,770

Я не лгу, сучка.

00:13:52,810 --> 00:13:56,153

На Олимпе никто не говорит о своих чувствах, упаси Зевс.

00:13:56,153 --> 00:14:00,360

Но стоит отойти на два шага от горы, как все настоящие боги такие: Я скучаю по Делирии.

00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,030

Да ладно. Кто?

00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:02,990

Ой, кто же? Аполлон.

00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,200

Ой, кто же? Артемида.

00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,530

Ой, кто же? Афина.

00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:07,790

Стоп, стоп, стоп. Афина скучает по мне?

00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:10,290

Тебя это удивляет? Ты должна понять, кто ты.

00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:12,330

Спасибо за напиток, смертный.

00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:13,540

Из-за этого я и здесь.

00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:15,840

Кажется, там есть город.

00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:16,630

Убивайцы?

00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:18,170

Ти, боги говорят.

00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:21,050

Короче, убивайцы идут сюда, чтобы вторгнуться в город.

00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:24,390

И похоже, что убивайцы поклоняются Афине.

00:14:24,470 --> 00:14:27,600

А этот город, похоже, поклоняется тебе.

00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:31,180

Неловко. Но Афина не будет вмешиваться, если ты не будешь.

00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:35,730

И она будет рада обсудить твое возвращение на Олимп.

00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:39,110

Значит, не вмешиваемся, хорошая новость.

00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:41,280

Я такой, приношу хорошие новости.

00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,280

Привыкай ко мне.

00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,000

Суперскорость!

00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:46,790

Что? Ты не вмешаешься?

00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,040

Мы построили тебе храм.

00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:49,460

Но разве я его получу?

00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,050

Похоже, он перейдёт Афине.

00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,460

Вы слышали? Будет вторжение.

00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:55,010

Полагаю, мы бросаем цивилизацию.

00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:57,010

Но не эту кружку, я хотел бы ее оставить.

00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,720

В вас двоих - всё, что я ненавижу в этом мире.

00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:00,720

Ты прав, сын.

00:15:00,810 --> 00:15:02,140

Привязываться опасно.

00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:06,020

Ты позволишь всей своей семье умереть, чтобы повысить свой олимпийский статус?

00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,440

Своей смертной семье.

00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,110

Ты в любом случае умрёшь.

00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:11,270

У меня также есть бессмертная семья.

00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,690

Социальные ставки выше, когда твоя социальная жизнь вечная.

00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:17,110

Не могу поверить, что я тобой восхищался.

00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:18,990

Ты никогда этого не говорил.

00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:20,530

Я не мог, я был младенцем.

00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,580

Ты быстро перестаёшь нравиться.

00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:25,660

Похоже, у богов и смертных есть что-то общее.

00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,380

Мы пытались его воспитать.

00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:29,710

Я виню тебя.

00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,710

Я не могу слепить вазу из дерьмовой глины.

00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,010

Возможно, мы умрём.

00:15:41,060 --> 00:15:42,010

Какова вероятность?

00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:43,010

Не знаю.

00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,390

Это гарантированно?

00:15:44,430 --> 00:15:46,270

Стив, это речь, а не интервью.

00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:47,850

Можешь задать вопросы потом?

00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,270

Маловероятно.

00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:53,860

Если мы умрём, для меня будет честью умереть с большинством из вас.

00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:55,240

Вы намекаете на меня?

00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:56,133

Да!

00:15:56,266 --> 00:15:58,160

Ти, у меня есть мощная военная машина.

00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:03,870

Она вряд ли переломит ход битвы, но, наверно, будет круто выглядеть во время битвы, и я...

00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:04,870

Делай, что хочешь.

00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:06,500

Спасибо!

00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:09,120

Слушай, иди спрячься.

00:16:09,170 --> 00:16:11,130

Я скажу им, что ты повесился.

00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:12,960

Многие короли так делают.

00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:14,330

- Так принято.

- Нет.

00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,590

Это моя вина.

00:16:15,630 --> 00:16:17,880

Ты часто спасала мне жизнь в детстве.

00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,300

И часто пыталась тебя убить.

00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:21,760

Что ж, миссия выполнена.

00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:28,230

Привет. Я Тиран.

00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:30,230

Я принёс вам корзинку... оливок.

00:16:30,270 --> 00:16:32,900

Просто скажи, как ты хочешь умереть.

00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:35,860

Справедливо. Ого ты большой.

00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:36,990

Извини.

00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,240

Это моя первая битва.

00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,330

Как ты вообще стал королём?

00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:47,750

Тебя это не удивит, но я вроде как убедил себя им назначить.

00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:51,330

Моей целью было построить мир, где все всё обсуждают.

00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,710

По эгоистичным причинам.

00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:56,960

Но я говорил брату и сестре: Не будем с ними драться, давайте с ними поговорим.

00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,130

О, они говорили.

00:16:58,220 --> 00:16:59,670

Вы только это и делаете.

00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,840

Вы называли нас друзьями, чтобы взорвать наших детей.

00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:04,550

Вам нельзя доверять.

00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:07,350

Ты прав.

00:17:07,430 --> 00:17:10,350

Мы пользовались вашим доверием, но не доверяли в ответ.

00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,400

Что если мы доверимся вам сейчас?

00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,770

Что если мы откроем врата и впустим вас?

00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:18,070

Так и сделайте. Это называется вторжение.

00:17:18,110 --> 00:17:19,530

Или приглашение.

00:17:19,570 --> 00:17:24,320

Что если мы впустим вас и будем доверять вам, пока не вернём ваше доверие?

00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:26,330

Мы земледельцы, а вы воины.

00:17:26,410 --> 00:17:31,666

Объединив наши силы, мы сможем построить кое-что получше любого города.

00:17:31,666 --> 00:17:33,660

Союз, империю.

00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,000

Что такое империя?

00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,130

Пока не знаю.

00:17:36,210 --> 00:17:38,630

Но она будет огромной.

00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,220

Что происходит?

00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,720

Мы разговариваем.

00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,890

Я заметила. Я не богиня разговоров, выпердыш.

00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:49,640

Завоюй этих людей и заставь поклоняться мне.

00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:50,680

Афина.

00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:52,140

Я к тебе обращалась?

00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:55,150

Кто ты такой вообще такой?

00:17:55,230 --> 00:17:58,820

Я сын Делирии, и тебе следовало быть с ней повежливее.

00:17:58,860 --> 00:17:59,820

Извини меня?

00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:01,990

Ты его услышала.

00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:03,440

Мама?

00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,730

А я, видимо, ослышалась.

00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:07,530

Мне сказали, мы не вмешиваемся в войну.

00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:08,820

Делирия.

00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,740

Афина, богиня... что там у тебя сейчас по списку?

00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:13,700

Войны, мудрости, пафосных нарядов и проблем с папочкой?

00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:16,450

Хочешь обсудить гардероб? Ладно.

00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,240

Ты когда-нибудь нападёшь или?..

00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,410

Можешь сказать "нет".

00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:20,790

Ты шутишь, да?

00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:21,920

В атаку!

00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,460

В атаку!

00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:26,670

Ты в курсе, что мы можем менять свою одежду и тела?

00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,130

Конечно. Ты меняешь лицо при каждом разговоре.

00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:36,850

А что если я заменю твою армию на змей?

00:18:36,930 --> 00:18:37,890

Змеи?

00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:39,270

Как лениво.

00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:41,310

А ты не превращаешь людей в змей?

00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:42,480

Постоянно.

00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:43,560

- Когда ленюсь.

- Змея.

00:18:43,610 --> 00:18:45,690

Змея, змея, змея, змея!

00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:51,110

Да, вот как ты выглядишь: змея, змея, змея, змея, змея.

00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:58,660

- Змея, змея.

- Змея, змея.

00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:14,180

Ты думаешь, ты когда-нибудь вернёшься на Олимп?

00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,260

Так грустно, что ты пытаешься.

00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:17,760

Грустнее, что тебе не плевать.

00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:22,180

О, мне плевать на мусор, но я всё равно его выбрасываю.

00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:24,020

В то время как ты спишь с ним.

00:19:24,060 --> 00:19:25,310

Извини, что?

00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,020

Не стыди мою маму за то, что она шлюха.

00:19:28,070 --> 00:19:29,190

Она моя мама.

00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,940

Не будь она шлюхой, меня бы не было.

00:19:30,990 --> 00:19:34,700

Извини, я не слышу тебя из-за звука змей.

00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:35,860

Нет!

00:19:35,910 --> 00:19:37,490

Семьи больше нет.

00:19:37,530 --> 00:19:39,870

Ты даже этого не смогла.

00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:43,790

Скажите Тирану, что я что-то делаю!

00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:47,170

Бегите!

00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:55,430

Слава Делирии.

00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:03,310

Что я такое?

00:20:03,390 --> 00:20:05,560

Я чувствую запах тепла языком.

00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:11,480

Не попадайся мне на глаза, и я никому не скажу о случившемся.

00:20:11,530 --> 00:20:13,030

Будто мне не плевать.

00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:14,150

Отпусти меня!

00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,530

Будто мне не плевать на всех вас.

00:20:15,610 --> 00:20:17,490

Будто мне не плевать на всё.

00:20:17,530 --> 00:20:19,820

Будто мне не плевать на себя.

00:20:19,910 --> 00:20:21,740

Будто мне это вообще нужно.

00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,370

Слава Тирану!

00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:26,620

Обратись к своему народу.

00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:27,920

Конечно.

00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:32,920

У меня странные ноги, жаркое солнце, опасность, только мыши.

00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,420

Найти мышей. Вкусных мышей. Тёплое солнце навсегда.

00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:37,930

Королей не выбирают.

00:20:38,010 --> 00:20:38,930

Радуйтесь.

00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:40,930

Ура.

00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:50,980

Спасибо.

00:20:51,070 --> 00:20:52,190

Следующая.

00:20:52,230 --> 00:20:53,650

Тут мышей на три дня.

00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:56,490

После этого он вернётся к нормальной еде.

00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:59,030

Дорогая, извини, но это обычная змея.

00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,200

Тогда где мой муж?

00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,620

Это война, дорогая.

00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:03,950

Если найдёшь другую змею, мы здесь до заката.

00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,660

Кстати, спасибо. Тут мышей на три дня.

00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:09,250

Спасибо за службу.

00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:10,880

И спасибо тебе, что вернулась.

00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,750

Я вернулась, потому что ненавижу Афину чуть сильнее, чем твой ужасный город.

00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,340

Следующая.

00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:18,090

Рада видеть, что ты готов сражаться.

00:21:18,130 --> 00:21:19,430

Еще бы.

00:21:19,510 --> 00:21:21,390

Мышей на три дня. Спасибо большое.

00:21:21,470 --> 00:21:26,100

Мне сказали, что когда я превратился в змею, ты закричала "нет".

00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:27,230

Ой, иди в задницу.

00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:28,180

Пошла ты.

00:21:28,270 --> 00:21:29,230

Мышей на три дня.

00:21:29,310 --> 00:21:30,770

Спасибо.

00:00:03,273 --> 00:00:05,210

Be the first to see

the drawings of stuff

00:00:05,210 --> 00:00:07,615

that just happened, or didn't.

00:00:07,615 --> 00:00:09,586

News, gossip, propaganda.

00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:10,487

Up to you.

00:00:10,487 --> 00:00:12,058

It's on the vases.

00:00:12,058 --> 00:00:14,730

Tyrannis declared

sexiest king alive.

00:00:14,864 --> 00:00:15,899

Are you serious?

00:00:15,899 --> 00:00:17,969

That's the same stick figure

you're always selling.

00:00:17,969 --> 00:00:19,238

Nice try, kid.

00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:21,511

Cheap king avoids

vase purchase.

00:00:21,511 --> 00:00:22,613

I can have you killed.

00:00:22,613 --> 00:00:24,282

Tyrant threatens media.

00:00:24,282 --> 00:00:25,785

Hey, buddy, check it out.

00:00:25,785 --> 00:00:27,121

You're the world's

greatest grandpa.

00:00:27,121 --> 00:00:29,091

Really?

People know that?

00:00:29,091 --> 00:00:31,095

Just got declared

sexiest king.

00:00:31,095 --> 00:00:33,166

Weird to be bragging

about that to your sister.

00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,870

All right, yeah.

What's so urgent?

00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:36,273

You pulled me out

of a cape fitting.

00:00:36,273 --> 00:00:37,241

Remember when you said,

00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:39,312

"This looks like a good spot

to put a city"?

00:00:39,312 --> 00:00:41,851

And I said, "Probably not,

because it's a day's walk

00:00:41,851 --> 00:00:43,153

from a cannibal horde."

00:00:43,153 --> 00:00:44,957

And I said,

"Everywhere is a day's walk

00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,359

"from a cannibal horde.

00:00:46,359 --> 00:00:47,896

That's why cities

are going to be huge."

00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:48,898

What's the problem?

00:00:48,898 --> 00:00:51,102

Open up.

00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:53,206

Ew.

00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:55,076

From our neighbor,

the Killassians.

00:00:55,076 --> 00:00:56,647

Well,

if they're truly cannibals,

00:00:56,647 --> 00:00:59,051

maybe a flaming human head

is their version

00:00:59,051 --> 00:01:00,120

of a fruit basket.

00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,728

Hey, that head is your ass!

00:01:03,728 --> 00:01:05,665

[laughs]

00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:06,700

Rise above it.

00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:07,836

Teachable moment.

00:01:07,836 --> 00:01:09,172

Teachable moment?

00:01:09,172 --> 00:01:11,309

Then let me teach these

farmers how to fight.

00:01:11,309 --> 00:01:13,948

Right, so then we're fighting

instead of farming.

00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,150

And guess what's left to eat?

00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,387

That's how

big cannibalism wins.

00:01:17,387 --> 00:01:19,158

Look, I know

I'm the little brother,

00:01:19,158 --> 00:01:20,729

but you've got to trust me.

00:01:20,729 --> 00:01:22,331

Civilization is the future.

00:01:22,331 --> 00:01:23,834

Savagery is the past.

00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,304

And that past is behind us.

00:01:25,304 --> 00:01:28,209

Goddess on a monster

coming in hot.

00:01:28,209 --> 00:01:29,813

The past is behind me,

isn't it?

00:01:29,813 --> 00:01:31,684

- Yep.

- Mom. Dad.

00:01:31,684 --> 00:01:34,021

Why are you here?

And why can't you stay?

00:01:34,021 --> 00:01:36,660

We heard you were starting

one of those newfangled cities

00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:39,699

from something we were eating

and-or having sex with.

00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,271

I certainly hope you don't

expect me to stay in this dump

00:01:42,271 --> 00:01:44,108

for more than a day.

- Hi.

00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:46,714

My family worships you.

- A week tops.

00:01:46,714 --> 00:01:49,385

Your family's good taste

shall be rewarded.

00:01:49,385 --> 00:01:51,990

We love what you've

done with spring.

00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:53,460

That is Demeter.

00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:54,530

Snake.

00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:56,967

Now, if anyone needs me, Deliria,

00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:58,971

I'll be in your

awkward-looking palace.

00:01:58,971 --> 00:02:00,875

You still can't die,

right, Mom?

00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:02,612

Of course I can't die.

00:02:02,612 --> 00:02:03,514

I'm a goddess.

00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,785

What kind of idiot are you?

00:02:05,785 --> 00:02:07,789

Just one with a dream.

00:02:07,789 --> 00:02:10,761

[upbeat music]

00:02:10,761 --> 00:02:17,875

♪ ♪

00:02:32,606 --> 00:02:35,076

The Killassians

are testing us for weakness.

00:02:35,076 --> 00:02:37,047

We got to go to war with them.

00:02:37,047 --> 00:02:39,018

If we go to war with anyone,

you know

00:02:39,018 --> 00:02:40,453

you'll be the only one left standing.

00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:42,023

That'll technically

mean we won.

00:02:42,023 --> 00:02:43,594

[loud explosion]

00:02:43,594 --> 00:02:44,563

I've done it.

00:02:44,563 --> 00:02:47,334

I made an explosion

on purpose, kind of.

00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:50,140

It only took three kinds

of powder and two assistants.

00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:51,743

Can we use it as a weapon?

00:02:51,743 --> 00:02:53,113

What do you call it?

00:02:53,113 --> 00:02:55,317

I should probably

name it after Bob here.

00:02:55,317 --> 00:02:57,890

Actually,

Tom contributed a lot.

00:02:57,890 --> 00:03:00,595

I'll call it the bomb.

00:03:00,595 --> 00:03:04,068

Hippocampus, didn't I ask you

to invent a written language?

00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,571

[scoffs]

Written language.

00:03:05,571 --> 00:03:08,276

Bro, I love you, but I didn't

become a scientist

00:03:08,276 --> 00:03:09,780

to make normal people smarter.

00:03:09,780 --> 00:03:14,823

I did it to make them

terrified of my god-like power.

00:03:14,823 --> 00:03:15,825

Uppies, please.

00:03:15,825 --> 00:03:17,127

So there you go, Ty.

00:03:17,127 --> 00:03:18,731

Now we can go to war

with whoever we want.

00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,969

We have the baah-aaahm.

00:03:20,969 --> 00:03:22,004

Just say "bomb."

00:03:22,004 --> 00:03:23,541

You sound like a caveperson.

00:03:23,541 --> 00:03:25,912

We're not going to defeat

barbarians by blowing up

00:03:25,912 --> 00:03:27,248

women and children.

00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:29,151

How's that going to

make me look on a vase?

00:03:29,151 --> 00:03:30,555

Tough on barbarism?

00:03:30,555 --> 00:03:31,456

Alive?

00:03:31,456 --> 00:03:33,159

How did this family

get so cynical?

00:03:33,159 --> 00:03:36,365

Prepare to disappoint

the goddess Deliria.

00:03:36,365 --> 00:03:39,038

[loud whooshing]

00:03:39,038 --> 00:03:41,810

Why is there

a slab of wood here?

00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:42,812

It's a door.

00:03:42,812 --> 00:03:44,182

Turn the knob.

00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,085

There was no wood slab here yesterday.

00:03:46,085 --> 00:03:47,187

Turn the knob.

00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:49,058

I don't know what a knob is.

00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:50,695

Mom, reach down.

00:03:50,695 --> 00:03:54,234

Must mortals fill every empty

space with crap made of wood?

00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,673

It's called

civilization, Mother.

00:03:56,773 --> 00:03:57,676

Oh, yeah, catchy name.

00:03:57,776 --> 00:03:58,745

That'll stick.

00:03:58,745 --> 00:03:59,746

How'd everyone sleep?

00:03:59,746 --> 00:04:00,982

I'll go first.

00:04:00,982 --> 00:04:02,184

With your mother,

and erotically.

00:04:02,184 --> 00:04:03,086

What are we eating?

Don't care.

00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:04,656

I love it.

00:04:04,656 --> 00:04:06,760

Tyrannis, where are your

slaves building my temple?

00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,062

[both clear throats]

00:04:08,062 --> 00:04:12,270

[clears throat]

00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:14,475

They're citizens, not slaves.

00:04:14,475 --> 00:04:16,580

We're doing more of

a modern thing,

00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:18,617

which doesn't

really include temples.

00:04:18,617 --> 00:04:20,487

Will you look at

the length of these shadows?

00:04:20,487 --> 00:04:22,357

I may or may not be late

for a meeting.

00:04:22,357 --> 00:04:24,027

Please invent

a way to tell time.

00:04:24,027 --> 00:04:26,533

For all you know,

I'm ahead of schedule on that.

00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,506

You're supposed to make

people worship me, boy.

00:04:29,506 --> 00:04:31,375

I didn't create you

for the fun of it.

00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:32,444

Well, I did.

00:04:32,444 --> 00:04:34,248

But I admit,

I had the fun part.

00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:36,186

All the other modern

cities have temples,

00:04:36,186 --> 00:04:38,490

most of them to Athena,

the sweaty bitch.

00:04:38,490 --> 00:04:41,930

I hear that Athena

gets all those temples

00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:44,168

because she has a secret.

00:04:44,168 --> 00:04:45,504

She does?

00:04:45,504 --> 00:04:47,107

Well, not that I care,

but what is it?

00:04:47,107 --> 00:04:49,311

They say she has

the slightest

00:04:49,411 --> 00:04:51,984

amount of human appeal.

00:04:51,984 --> 00:04:53,319

Ah!

00:04:53,319 --> 00:04:54,656

Don't be upset

with him, Love.

00:04:54,656 --> 00:04:56,325

He lashes out when cornered.

00:04:56,325 --> 00:04:58,029

He gets that from his

part scorpion, part lion,

00:04:58,029 --> 00:04:59,298

part eagle, part horse side.

00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,534

Nobody upsets me.

00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,304

Least of all by

comparing me to Athena,

00:05:02,304 --> 00:05:04,309

because I'm not a farty,

fart face hack.

00:05:04,309 --> 00:05:08,851

Random animal exit.

00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:12,057

[coughing]

00:05:12,057 --> 00:05:13,159

Oh, damn it.

00:05:13,159 --> 00:05:18,269

Random land animal exit.

00:05:18,269 --> 00:05:21,509

How is she hot

even as an ostrich?

00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:26,352

Hey, I just wanted

to tell you, I think your bomb

00:05:26,352 --> 00:05:28,256

was awesome-- beyond awesome.

00:05:28,256 --> 00:05:29,960

Words don't even describe it.

00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,030

It's just like the bomb.

00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:33,266

Yeah.

00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,435

Well, that and

three sandals will

00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:38,409

buy me a cup of goat milk.

00:05:38,409 --> 00:05:41,550

Guess I'll just start working

on a written language.

00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:44,054

This is so boring.

00:05:44,054 --> 00:05:45,290

I hate it.

00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:46,325

Upside-down boobs.

00:05:46,325 --> 00:05:48,096

Is that something?

00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:49,498

Hey, watch the science.

00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:52,371

How did we end up working

for our little brother?

00:05:52,371 --> 00:05:54,008

What's he even good at?

00:05:54,008 --> 00:05:56,279

From what I've seen,

he tells powerless people

00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:57,849

they're powerful.

00:05:57,849 --> 00:06:00,019

And they like that, so they

give him all their power.

00:06:00,019 --> 00:06:01,657

He doesn't know what

he's doing, though.

00:06:01,657 --> 00:06:04,295

The Killassians are dangerous,

violent barbarians

00:06:04,295 --> 00:06:06,667

that need to die, explodingly.

00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,704

But if we go behind his back

we'll lose our jobs.

00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:11,142

If it's behind his back

he won't know.

00:06:11,142 --> 00:06:12,477

That's a good point.

00:06:12,477 --> 00:06:13,914

Maybe you're more

than just strong?

00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:14,983

What?

00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,219

Take that back.

- No need.

00:06:16,319 --> 00:06:17,922

You just proved it.

00:06:17,922 --> 00:06:19,292

Calm down, everybody.

00:06:19,292 --> 00:06:20,694

You're acting like

it's the first flaming

00:06:20,694 --> 00:06:22,464

human head that's been

put on a stick out there

00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:24,536

when the truth is,

it's the third.

00:06:24,536 --> 00:06:25,738

[crowd muttering]

00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:27,108

Sounds like a lot of

you didn't know that.

00:06:27,108 --> 00:06:28,376

I see a hand raised.

00:06:28,376 --> 00:06:30,080

I thought cities

were supposed

00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,516

to be safer than wilderness.

00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,253

I've lived in the wilderness.

00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:35,056

There were no

flaming heads there.

00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:39,164

Guys, forget them I'm,

and let's get real.

00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:42,606

Can someone tell

the throne-maker

00:06:42,606 --> 00:06:43,975

I like to get real?

00:06:43,975 --> 00:06:45,209

He'll know what I mean.

00:06:45,209 --> 00:06:47,281

You know why scary guys

act scary?

00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:48,583

They're lazy.

00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:50,788

If you run away,

less work for them.

00:06:50,788 --> 00:06:54,863

To scare them back,

we have to be even lazier.

00:06:54,863 --> 00:06:55,598

[together]

Huh?

00:06:55,698 --> 00:06:57,267

That's the point

of civilization,

00:06:57,267 --> 00:07:01,409

refusing to move, planting

your food next to your bed,

00:07:01,409 --> 00:07:02,778

eating it

when you feel like it,

00:07:02,778 --> 00:07:06,152

and pooping it right where

you buried your parents.

00:07:06,152 --> 00:07:07,354

[together]

Oh.

00:07:07,354 --> 00:07:09,124

You want to make

these barbarians go away?

00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,995

Become hard work.

00:07:11,095 --> 00:07:12,397

Get slow.

00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:13,534

Get fat.

00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,003

Get boring.

00:07:15,003 --> 00:07:17,808

Rise up, and sit down.

00:07:17,808 --> 00:07:18,877

[all cheering]

00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:20,013

Excuse me.

00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:22,652

I just wanted to add,

I also love civilization.

00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:25,090

And I hope religion

will be a part of it.

00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:28,062

I mean, I, myself,

love praying to your mother,

00:07:28,062 --> 00:07:29,498

the great Deliria.

00:07:29,498 --> 00:07:32,171

Oh, by the way, do you not

even have a place where

00:07:32,171 --> 00:07:34,275

everybody, like, prays or--

00:07:34,275 --> 00:07:35,678

Oh, wow.

00:07:35,678 --> 00:07:37,381

A mysterious bearded

traveler that no one

00:07:37,381 --> 00:07:39,051

has met in their entire life.

00:07:39,051 --> 00:07:40,186

How often does that happen?

00:07:40,286 --> 00:07:41,590

Oh, just when my mom drinks.

00:07:41,590 --> 00:07:45,163

Behold,

I was me the whole time.

00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:46,566

[all gasp]

00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:49,171

You all passed some kind

of test I was doing.

00:07:49,171 --> 00:07:50,173

Yes, yes.

00:07:50,173 --> 00:07:51,442

We passed a test.

00:07:51,442 --> 00:07:52,712

My mother,

ladies and gentlemen,

00:07:52,712 --> 00:07:54,616

the goddess of quitting

while she's ahead.

00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:56,085

Fine.

I'll go.

00:07:56,085 --> 00:07:57,120

We love you, Deliria.

00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,423

OK, I'll stay.

00:07:58,423 --> 00:07:59,826

Keep it going

for your king, everybody.

00:07:59,826 --> 00:08:01,963

Ruling isn't easy, clearly.

00:08:01,963 --> 00:08:03,199

[laughter]

00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,368

I'm joking.

00:08:04,368 --> 00:08:05,904

My boy was born to be a king.

00:08:05,904 --> 00:08:09,011

What other job is there

for a virgin in his 30s

00:08:09,011 --> 00:08:10,179

who can't swing a sword?

00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:11,884

[laughter]

00:08:11,884 --> 00:08:12,952

I'm 29.

00:08:12,952 --> 00:08:13,920

Sorry, dear.

00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,190

Can't quite hear

you when you talk

00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:16,593

all the way through your nose.

00:08:16,593 --> 00:08:18,496

He didn't get

the voice of a conqueror.

00:08:18,496 --> 00:08:20,366

But on the plus side,

he didn't get

00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,004

any other parts of one either.

00:08:22,004 --> 00:08:23,106

[laughter]

00:08:23,106 --> 00:08:24,576

You know what's really funny?

00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:26,479

She gets to live forever,

but she's dead inside.

00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:30,053

And it's her fault

I'm terrible with women.

00:08:30,153 --> 00:08:31,221

I agree.

00:08:31,221 --> 00:08:32,391

It's not laugh-out-loud funny.

00:08:32,391 --> 00:08:33,794

Here's the truth.

00:08:33,894 --> 00:08:35,497

She's only here

because she's out of options.

00:08:35,497 --> 00:08:37,869

She had power,

but she squandered it.

00:08:37,869 --> 00:08:39,539

Now she needs worshippers,

00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:41,175

and she thinks

you're stupid enough

00:08:41,175 --> 00:08:43,212

to build her a temple.

00:08:43,212 --> 00:08:44,248

Let's do it.

00:08:44,248 --> 00:08:45,483

[cheers and applause]

00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:49,258

all: Temple, temple,

temple, temple, temple.

00:08:49,258 --> 00:08:53,567

Deliria,

goddess of human appeal.

00:08:58,309 --> 00:09:01,282

[dramatic music]

00:09:01,282 --> 00:09:02,718

Son, quick question.

00:09:02,718 --> 00:09:05,089

With humans domesticating animals,

00:09:05,089 --> 00:09:07,460

which ones are off the table

sexually?

00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,664

What's all this?

00:09:08,664 --> 00:09:10,702

This is enchanted

god-proof armor.

00:09:10,702 --> 00:09:13,339

I've been saving it

for the day I kill mother.

00:09:13,339 --> 00:09:14,709

Step aside.

00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:17,582

If you got that

from Xantheses in Nigeria,

00:09:17,582 --> 00:09:19,920

you should know

it's made of tin.

00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:21,288

Enchanted tin.

00:09:21,288 --> 00:09:22,323

Ow.

00:09:22,323 --> 00:09:23,426

It's cutting me.

00:09:23,426 --> 00:09:24,461

He's a swindler, son.

00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:25,764

Get it off.

00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:27,902

You're wearing

a suit of scissors.

00:09:27,902 --> 00:09:30,107

You don't really want

to kill your mother, do you?

00:09:30,107 --> 00:09:31,208

Why?

00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:33,145

Would you help me or stop me?

00:09:33,145 --> 00:09:34,782

Exactly.

00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,087

Dad, you can't give me advice,

because you don't do anything,

00:09:37,087 --> 00:09:39,992

except from what it sounds

like, the occasional chicken.

00:09:39,992 --> 00:09:41,763

You're wrong about me, son.

00:09:41,763 --> 00:09:44,134

I specifically came here to

get a ruling on the chicken

00:09:44,134 --> 00:09:45,403

situation before I--

00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:47,308

You know who's good at

all the things Mom respects?

00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:48,644

A bunch of dead people.

00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:49,846

You know who's going

to run the future?

00:09:49,846 --> 00:09:52,852

Diplomats, negotiators, dealmakers,

00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,591

people that make things work,

like me

00:09:55,591 --> 00:09:57,494

if she'd get out of my way.

00:09:57,494 --> 00:09:58,564

I believe you, son.

00:09:58,564 --> 00:09:59,899

Humanity's on the rise.

00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,037

What you've done

to the chicken alone--

00:10:02,037 --> 00:10:03,072

Dad.

00:10:03,072 --> 00:10:04,008

May I just ask?

00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:06,747

If your divine gift

is for dealmaking,

00:10:06,747 --> 00:10:10,955

why is it you can't deal

with your mother?

00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:13,193

OK, put those over there.

00:10:13,193 --> 00:10:14,294

That should be straighter.

00:10:14,294 --> 00:10:16,633

No.

Look, make it like that.

00:10:16,633 --> 00:10:18,336

Can't you just do that

four times and--

00:10:18,336 --> 00:10:19,539

And make my own temple?

00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:20,541

Brilliant pitch.

00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:21,776

Here's another one.

00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:22,979

Anyone else looking

to collaborate?

00:10:22,979 --> 00:10:24,081

Hello.

00:10:24,181 --> 00:10:26,118

If you're concealing

a Nigerian god-killing dagger,

00:10:26,118 --> 00:10:27,153

I have bad news.

00:10:27,153 --> 00:10:28,022

I'm here to deal.

00:10:28,022 --> 00:10:29,659

You have nothing to offer.

00:10:29,659 --> 00:10:31,797

If that were true,

you wouldn't be here.

00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,569

When I had you, I had a

dream that you would conquer

00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:36,105

the world, gods and all.

00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:38,475

And when they looked up

and said, "Who are you?"

00:10:38,475 --> 00:10:40,648

you'd say,

"I'm the son of Deliria.

00:10:40,648 --> 00:10:42,752

And you should have been nicer

to her."

00:10:42,752 --> 00:10:44,255

It's not a bad dream, Mom.

00:10:44,255 --> 00:10:46,325

But we might have

to help each other out.

00:10:46,325 --> 00:10:48,062

My city needs protection.

00:10:48,062 --> 00:10:49,231

You need a temple.

00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:50,267

These people need a break.

00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:51,302

I've tried that.

00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,539

They're mostly broken.

00:10:52,639 --> 00:10:54,141

I've been animating

their limbs.

00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:55,911

[mystical chime]

00:10:57,413 --> 00:10:58,817

Explain this one more time.

00:10:58,817 --> 00:11:00,955

We give them a giant,

wooden horse.

00:11:00,955 --> 00:11:03,927

They assume there's dudes

in it, so they set it on fire.

00:11:03,927 --> 00:11:07,467

But there's a bomb in it,

so kaboom.

00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,536

OK, but why a horse?

00:11:08,536 --> 00:11:09,939

I don't know.

00:11:09,939 --> 00:11:12,244

I just asked myself,

what's the single dumbest gift

00:11:12,244 --> 00:11:13,312

you could ever give someone?

00:11:13,312 --> 00:11:14,315

Close enough.

00:11:14,315 --> 00:11:16,285

Let's jam.

00:11:16,285 --> 00:11:18,322

Hey.

00:11:18,322 --> 00:11:22,932

I am Asskill,

son of Kill, slayer of Ass.

00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,436

- Cool.

- Condolences to Ass.

00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:28,209

Are you just

giving this to us?

00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,311

It's gorgeous.

00:11:29,311 --> 00:11:31,282

I wouldn't go that far.

00:11:31,282 --> 00:11:35,323

If I were you,

I'd set it on fire, later.

00:11:35,323 --> 00:11:36,492

You nuts?

00:11:36,492 --> 00:11:38,663

I'm going to cherish it forever.

00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:41,636

You're that sure

there aren't dudes in it?

00:11:41,636 --> 00:11:43,908

May as well

set it on fire, later.

00:11:43,908 --> 00:11:46,580

Why does it seem

really important to you

00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,082

that we set this on fire?

00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:52,625

In our culture, possession

is fleeting, like horses,

00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:56,833

whereas fire is eternal,

like friendship.

00:11:57,668 --> 00:11:59,872

Then I love your culture.

00:11:59,872 --> 00:12:01,943

I declare peace

with Krapopolis.

00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:05,483

We feast tonight around the

burning horse of friendship.

00:12:05,483 --> 00:12:06,687

[all cheering]

00:12:06,687 --> 00:12:09,358

[percussive music]

00:12:09,358 --> 00:12:11,128

This is so awkward.

00:12:11,128 --> 00:12:14,268

You know, our people have

never danced until tonight?

00:12:14,268 --> 00:12:15,270

You wouldn't know.

00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:17,140

Sorry we're taking

so long lighting the horse.

00:12:17,140 --> 00:12:19,712

I wanted to make sure

all our oldest women

00:12:19,712 --> 00:12:22,551

and youngest children

were seated closest to it.

00:12:22,551 --> 00:12:23,987

We're going to take off.

00:12:23,987 --> 00:12:27,761

But listen, you probably

shouldn't light the horse.

00:12:27,761 --> 00:12:29,031

Oh, we're lighting it, baby.

00:12:29,031 --> 00:12:30,801

Everyone in the world

is going to see it

00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:34,341

and know that the hatred

and violence stops now.

00:12:34,341 --> 00:12:37,615

[both sobbing]

00:12:37,615 --> 00:12:39,351

It's OK to cry.

00:12:39,351 --> 00:12:40,588

I'll cry with you.

00:12:40,588 --> 00:12:42,692

It's acceptable

to be vulnerable now.

00:12:42,692 --> 00:12:44,529

Thanks to you.

00:12:44,529 --> 00:12:46,465

The horse is a bomb.

00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,771

What's a bomb?

00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:52,912

A horrible, devastating,

really cool new weapon

00:12:52,912 --> 00:12:57,454

designed to kill all of you

at the same time.

00:12:57,454 --> 00:13:01,429

[sobbing]

00:13:01,429 --> 00:13:03,266

Seize them!

00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:04,635

No.

00:13:04,635 --> 00:13:06,271

Don't resist.

00:13:06,271 --> 00:13:08,309

We have to.

00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:11,482

Sorry. Sorry.

00:13:11,482 --> 00:13:13,453

Stop hitting everyone.

00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:14,823

I have to.

00:13:14,823 --> 00:13:17,427

You're terrible people.

00:13:17,427 --> 00:13:19,866

We know that now.

00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:23,472

You guys are good dancers.

00:13:23,472 --> 00:13:25,443

We love you.

00:13:25,443 --> 00:13:28,784

[grunting]

00:13:28,784 --> 00:13:29,786

You want to slow me down

a little?

00:13:29,786 --> 00:13:30,855

My neck breaks.

00:13:30,855 --> 00:13:32,624

I've waited too long

for this.

00:13:32,624 --> 00:13:34,930

It's not as if the gods

are going to come running back

00:13:34,930 --> 00:13:36,232

as soon as I lay the last--

00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,568

Oh, my goddess.

00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:38,837

brick.

00:13:38,837 --> 00:13:40,507

Look who's back

at temple level.

00:13:40,507 --> 00:13:42,244

Hermes.

00:13:42,244 --> 00:13:42,979

both: Mwah! Mwah!

00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:44,481

Enjoying your drink, mortal?

00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:45,518

- I don't have--

- Me neither.

00:13:45,618 --> 00:13:46,620

Regrettable, no?

00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,156

Fetch two nectars, Ty-Ty.

00:13:48,156 --> 00:13:49,692

You're missed on Olympus.

00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:50,695

That's a lie.

00:13:50,695 --> 00:13:52,263

I don't lie, bitch.

00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:54,669

I mean, nobody says how they

feel on Olympus, Zeus forbid.

00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:55,971

Bleh.

00:13:55,971 --> 00:13:57,508

But two steps off the

mountain, you know,

00:13:57,508 --> 00:13:59,846

all the real gods are like,

"I miss Deliria."

00:13:59,846 --> 00:14:01,516

Shut up.

Who?

00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:02,484

Uh, gee. Apollo.

00:14:02,484 --> 00:14:03,687

Uh, gee. Artemis.

00:14:03,687 --> 00:14:05,023

Uh, gee. Athena.

00:14:05,023 --> 00:14:07,260

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Athena said she misses me?

00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,730

Why would that surprise you?

00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:09,799

You need to realize

who you are.

00:14:09,899 --> 00:14:11,736

Thank you, little drink maker.

00:14:11,736 --> 00:14:13,039

In fact, that's why I'm here.

00:14:13,039 --> 00:14:15,343

I guess there's

a city over there.

00:14:15,343 --> 00:14:16,145

Killasses?

00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:17,682

Uh, Ty, gods talking.

00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:20,353

Anyway, Killasses is marching

here to invade this city.

00:14:20,353 --> 00:14:23,860

And seems like the

Killassians worship Athena,

00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:27,233

and seems like

this city worships you.

00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,570

Awkward.

00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:30,707

But Athena says she's willing

to stay hands off if you are.

00:14:30,707 --> 00:14:35,250

And she'd love to talk about

getting you back on Olympus.

00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:36,118

OK.

00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:37,555

Well, hands off then.

00:14:37,555 --> 00:14:38,657

Good to know.

00:14:38,657 --> 00:14:39,692

That's what I deal in.

00:14:39,692 --> 00:14:40,794

Good things to know.

00:14:40,794 --> 00:14:41,797

Get used to me.

00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,334

Super speed.

00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:46,539

Hands off?

00:14:46,539 --> 00:14:47,774

We gave you a temple.

00:14:47,774 --> 00:14:49,144

Did I really get

a temple, though?

00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:50,781

Sounds like it's

going to be Athena's.

00:14:50,781 --> 00:14:52,216

You hear?

Invasion coming.

00:14:52,216 --> 00:14:54,789

I assume we're

abandoning civilization,

00:14:54,789 --> 00:14:56,693

except for this cup,

which I'd love to keep.

00:14:56,693 --> 00:14:59,498

The two of you everything

I hate about this world.

00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:00,500

You're right, son.

00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,903

Attachment is dangerous.

00:15:01,903 --> 00:15:03,807

You'd let your entire

family die to boost

00:15:03,807 --> 00:15:05,778

your Olympian social status?

00:15:05,778 --> 00:15:07,180

My mortal family.

00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,850

You die no matter what.

00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:11,021

I also have an immortal family.

00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:12,925

The social stakes

are higher when

00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:14,461

your social life is forever.

00:15:14,461 --> 00:15:16,866

I can't believe

I ever admired you.

00:15:16,866 --> 00:15:18,737

You certainly

never said you did.

00:15:18,737 --> 00:15:20,307

I couldn't. I was a baby.

00:15:20,307 --> 00:15:22,343

It doesn't take long

to stop liking you.

00:15:22,343 --> 00:15:25,416

I guess gods and mortals

have that in common.

00:15:26,819 --> 00:15:28,389

You try to raise them right.

00:15:28,389 --> 00:15:29,458

I blame you.

00:15:29,458 --> 00:15:31,495

I can't shape a vase

when the clay is half turd.

00:15:34,769 --> 00:15:37,541

[dramatic music]

00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:39,545

♪ ♪

00:15:39,545 --> 00:15:40,780

We may die today.

00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:41,782

How likely?

00:15:41,782 --> 00:15:42,785

I don't know.

00:15:42,785 --> 00:15:44,154

Like guaranteed?

00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:46,025

It's a speech, Steve,

not an interview.

00:15:46,025 --> 00:15:47,628

Can we do questions later?

00:15:47,628 --> 00:15:49,064

Doesn't sound like it.

00:15:49,064 --> 00:15:51,936

If we die today,

it will be my honor

00:15:51,936 --> 00:15:53,673

to die with most of you.

00:15:53,673 --> 00:15:55,276

Is that directed at me?

00:15:55,276 --> 00:15:56,345

Yes.

00:15:56,345 --> 00:15:57,915

Hey, Ty, I have a pretty

intense war machine

00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,786

that probably won't turn

the tide of battle

00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:02,658

but will definitely look

really cool during the battle,

00:16:02,658 --> 00:16:03,694

and I--

00:16:03,694 --> 00:16:04,695

Do whatever you want.

00:16:04,695 --> 00:16:06,331

Thank you.

00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:08,904

Hey, listen, go hide.

00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:10,841

I can tell them

you hung yourself.

00:16:10,841 --> 00:16:12,778

A lot of kings do it

in this situation.

00:16:12,778 --> 00:16:14,081

It's a thing.

- Nah.

00:16:14,081 --> 00:16:15,416

This is my fault.

00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:17,721

You saved my life a lot

when we were kids.

00:16:17,721 --> 00:16:19,124

I tried to kill you

a lot too.

00:16:19,124 --> 00:16:21,562

Well, mission accomplished.

00:16:26,071 --> 00:16:28,075

Hi.

I'm Tyrannis.

00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:30,079

I brought you

a basket of... olives.

00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:32,752

Just tell me how

you want to die.

00:16:32,752 --> 00:16:34,756

That's fair.

Oh, wow.

00:16:34,756 --> 00:16:35,724

You're big.

00:16:35,724 --> 00:16:36,860

Sorry.

00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:38,296

Oh.

00:16:38,296 --> 00:16:38,963

Ah.

00:16:38,963 --> 00:16:41,101

Uh, it's my first battle.

00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,072

How are you even a king?

00:16:43,172 --> 00:16:45,644

This will not shock you,

but I sort of

00:16:45,644 --> 00:16:47,447

talked my way into the job.

00:16:47,447 --> 00:16:51,155

My end game was to make

a world that ran on talking.

00:16:51,155 --> 00:16:52,558

Clearly, for selfish reasons.

00:16:52,558 --> 00:16:55,229

But I told my brother

and sister, "Let's not fight

00:16:55,229 --> 00:16:56,832

these guys;

let's talk to them."

00:16:56,832 --> 00:16:58,001

Oh, they talk.

00:16:58,001 --> 00:16:59,471

That's all you people do.

00:16:59,471 --> 00:17:02,745

Called us friends so you

could explode our children.

00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:04,414

You can't be trusted.

00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,253

You're right.

00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:10,259

Because we took your trust,

and we didn't give any back.

00:17:10,259 --> 00:17:12,130

So what if we trusted you now?

00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:15,571

What if we just open

our gates and let you in.

00:17:15,571 --> 00:17:16,606

Please do.

00:17:16,606 --> 00:17:17,942

It's called an invasion.

00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:19,410

Or an invitation.

00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:22,752

What if we welcomed you in

and gave you our trust

00:17:22,752 --> 00:17:24,121

until we earn yours back?

00:17:24,221 --> 00:17:26,224

We're farmers; you're fighters.

00:17:26,224 --> 00:17:29,297

If we combine our strengths,

we could build something

00:17:29,297 --> 00:17:33,807

greater than any other city,

an alliance, an empire.

00:17:33,807 --> 00:17:34,942

What's an empire?

00:17:35,042 --> 00:17:36,045

I don't know yet.

00:17:36,045 --> 00:17:38,550

But it's going to be huge.

00:17:38,550 --> 00:17:40,152

What is happening?

00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,660

We're discussing things.

00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:45,163

So I noticed.

00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:46,833

I'm not the goddess

of conversation, you wet fart.

00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,538

Conquer these people

and make them worship me.

00:17:49,538 --> 00:17:50,574

Athena--

00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:52,043

Uh, did I address you?

00:17:52,043 --> 00:17:55,049

Who are you even ever even?

00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:56,953

I'm the son

of Deliria,

00:17:56,953 --> 00:17:58,757

and you should have been nicer

to her.

00:17:58,757 --> 00:17:59,758

Excuse me?

00:17:59,758 --> 00:18:01,896

You heard him.

00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:03,165

Mama?

00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,467

But apparently,

I heard wrong.

00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:07,541

I was told

this war was hands off.

00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:08,576

Deliria.

00:18:08,576 --> 00:18:10,480

Athena, goddess of--

what's the list up to now,

00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,554

war, wisdom, over-the-top

outfits, and daddy issues?

00:18:13,554 --> 00:18:14,487

OK.

00:18:14,487 --> 00:18:16,191

So we're going

to talk about wardrobe?

00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:18,028

Are you attacking ever or--

00:18:18,028 --> 00:18:19,164

You can say no.

00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,534

You're joking, right?

00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:21,669

Attack!

00:18:21,669 --> 00:18:23,205

- Attack!

- Ahh!

00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:24,341

You are aware

that we can, like,

00:18:24,341 --> 00:18:26,579

change our clothing,

bodies too.

00:18:26,579 --> 00:18:27,615

You'd know.

00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:29,885

You change your face

in every conversation.

00:18:29,885 --> 00:18:31,454

- [grunts]

- Ah.

00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:32,457

[grunts]

00:18:32,457 --> 00:18:33,492

Ah.

00:18:33,492 --> 00:18:36,632

How about I change

your army into snakes?

00:18:36,632 --> 00:18:37,635

Snakes?

00:18:37,635 --> 00:18:39,037

So lazy.

00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:41,074

So you never turn

people into snakes?

00:18:41,074 --> 00:18:42,143

Constantly.

00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:43,345

When I'm lazy.

- Snake.

00:18:43,345 --> 00:18:45,483

Snake. Snake. Snake. Snake.

00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:46,919

Right.

This is what you look like.

00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:50,894

Snake. Snake. Snake. Snake. Snake.

00:18:50,894 --> 00:18:53,499

[screams]

[bones crunching]

00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:54,735

[shouts]

00:18:56,405 --> 00:18:58,342

- Snake. Snake.

- Snake. Snake.

00:18:58,342 --> 00:19:00,012

- [grunts]

- [grunts]

00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:01,481

[grunts]

00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:09,865

[crowd screams]

00:19:09,865 --> 00:19:11,168

[both grunting]

00:19:11,168 --> 00:19:13,973

You think you'll ever

be back on Olympus again?

00:19:13,973 --> 00:19:16,078

It's sad you try.

00:19:16,078 --> 00:19:17,581

Sadder that you care.

00:19:17,581 --> 00:19:21,989

Oh, I don't care about

trash, but I still take it out.

00:19:21,989 --> 00:19:23,860

I guess you just sleep with it.

00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,129

Excuse me.

00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:27,834

Would you mind

not slut-shaming my mom?

00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,003

She is my mom.

00:19:29,003 --> 00:19:30,740

I owe my life

to her being a slut.

00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,043

Sorry.

00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:34,515

I can't hear you over

the sound of snake.

00:19:34,515 --> 00:19:35,684

No.

00:19:35,684 --> 00:19:37,286

Aw, no family left.

00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:39,558

You couldn't even

make your own.

00:19:39,558 --> 00:19:43,599

Someone tell Tyrannis

I'm doing something.

00:19:44,669 --> 00:19:47,006

Run!

00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:50,279

[loud explosion]

00:19:53,787 --> 00:19:55,256

All hail Deliria.

00:19:55,256 --> 00:19:59,397

[cheers and applause]

00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,139

What is me?

00:20:03,139 --> 00:20:05,375

I can smell heat

with my tongue.

00:20:06,144 --> 00:20:07,413

Ugh.

00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:09,151

I'm not mentioning

today to anyone,

00:20:09,151 --> 00:20:11,322

unless I ever see you again.

00:20:11,322 --> 00:20:12,892

Ahh! Like I care.

00:20:12,892 --> 00:20:14,027

Get off me.

00:20:14,027 --> 00:20:15,396

Like I care about any of you.

00:20:15,396 --> 00:20:17,333

Like I care about anything.

00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,705

Like I even care about myself.

00:20:19,705 --> 00:20:21,609

Like I even have to.

00:20:23,646 --> 00:20:25,249

Hail Tyrannis.

00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:26,786

Say something to your people.

00:20:26,786 --> 00:20:27,821

Sure.

00:20:27,921 --> 00:20:32,832

I have strange legs,

hot sun, danger, only mice.

00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:33,967

Find mice.

00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:35,002

Delicious mice.

00:20:35,002 --> 00:20:36,271

Warm sun forever.

00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:37,808

You get the king you get.

00:20:37,808 --> 00:20:38,810

Now cheer.

00:20:38,810 --> 00:20:40,780

all: Yay.

00:20:49,932 --> 00:20:50,868

Thank you.

00:20:50,868 --> 00:20:52,103

Next.

00:20:52,103 --> 00:20:53,540

There's three days

of mice in here.

00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:56,378

After that, he should

be back to normal meals.

00:20:56,378 --> 00:20:58,916

Darling, I'm sorry,

but that one is just a snake.

00:20:58,916 --> 00:21:00,152

Then where's my husband?

00:21:00,152 --> 00:21:01,523

It's war, honey.

00:21:01,523 --> 00:21:03,860

If you find another snake,

we're here until sundown.

00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:05,162

[sobs]

00:21:05,162 --> 00:21:06,364

Thanks for doing this,

by the way.

00:21:06,364 --> 00:21:07,467

There's three days

of mice in here.

00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,171

Thank you for your service.

00:21:09,171 --> 00:21:10,773

And, you know,

thank you for coming back.

00:21:10,773 --> 00:21:13,145

I came back because I hate

Athena slightly more

00:21:13,145 --> 00:21:14,682

than your awful city.

00:21:14,682 --> 00:21:16,251

Next.

00:21:16,251 --> 00:21:17,988

Pleased me to see you

willing to fight.

00:21:17,988 --> 00:21:19,324

I bet.

00:21:19,324 --> 00:21:21,327

Three days of mice.

Thank you so much.

00:21:21,327 --> 00:21:24,300

Someone told me that when

I got turned into a snake,

00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,038

you screamed no.

00:21:26,038 --> 00:21:27,139

Oh, stick it up your ass.

00:21:27,139 --> 00:21:28,141

Screw you.

00:21:28,141 --> 00:21:29,177

Three days of mice.

00:21:29,177 --> 00:21:30,780

Thank you.

00:21:31,147 --> 00:21:32,884

Did you get any of that?

00:21:35,055 --> 00:21:36,859

Bento.

[all cheer]