Женское болото

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Это Крапополис.

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Клянусь, он не так плох, как звучит название.

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- Или как выглядело это.

- Наверно он заслужил.

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- Рыбаки, ваш царь вернулся.

- У нас есть царь?

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У нас демократия.

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Если он меня не знает, то я делаю всё правильно.

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А вот и моя семья, они пришли нас встретить.

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- Видимо, вы слышали.

- О чём?

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Что я сразился с кракеном, спас принцессу

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и возвращаюсь с девушкой.

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- Я не тороплюсь?

- Нет. Я его девушка.

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Да, об этом говорит весь город.

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Кому два жареных осьминога и две кокосовые воды?

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Это наши. Сколько с нас?

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- Три сандалии.

- Так вы пришли сюда за едой?

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В нашу защиту, мы проголодались и забыли, что тебя нет.

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Разменяете курицу?

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Похоже, что я ношу с собой семь вёдер оливок?

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Эй, девушка, добро пожаловать в Крапополис.

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Одолжи сандалии.

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Мы вернём. Мы из царской семьи.

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Богиня Делирия требует продолжить рассказ.

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Да, мама, ты пятый раз перебиваешь этими словами.

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Я была привязана к скале, и кракен собирался меня съесть.

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Но затем появился Тиран и спас меня.

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- Ты спасла меня.

- Ты спас меня.

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Ты дрался с кракеном? Чем?

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Кулаками. Я заехал ему в нос. Видно, это его слабое место.

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Ты путаешь с акулами.

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Ну, ему это тоже не понравилось.

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ГерофИла, Тиран говорит, ты морская нимфа.

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Мы знаем твою семью?

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Ну, Посейдон мой отец.

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О, очень впечатляюще!

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Значит, когда мой сын выбирает дочь бога, это романтично, но...

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Но когда за тебя выбирает мать, это мерзко.

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Да, ты верно поняла. Ну хватит.

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Знаешь, чего я не понимаю?

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Истории о кракене.

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Не завидуй брату, Колосса.

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Он едва умеет плавать!

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Как он развязал ее под водой?

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Кракены плохо вяжут узлы.

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Опять путаешь с акулами!

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Я истекаю кровью. Это может подождать.

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Как такое сочетание возможно?

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Это девушка Тирана.

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А я его единокровный брат.

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Думаю, мы станем мужем и женой, если его убьют.

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Ты вроде истекал кровью?

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Да. Угадайте, какое животное до сих пор отказывается уступать цивилизации?

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Волки.

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- Волки.

- Волки!

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Откуда взялась эта вражда между людьми и волками?

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Они единственные, с кем мы никогда не подружимся.

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Я просто сразу скажу, они худшие враги людей.

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Блестяще сказано.

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Вы осознаёте, что бедная девушка сидит здесь как реквизит.

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Дадим ей поучаствовать в разговоре.

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ГерофИла, я хочу чтобы ты решила, когда выйдешь за моего сына.

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Мы только познакомились!

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Ее отец Посейдон.

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Он сделает предложение до заката.

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Вот почему...

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У него больше не будет шансов с такими красотками.

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Эта семья - волки от мира людей.

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Легенда о наших отношениях распространяется.

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Не верится, что царь не умрёт девственником.

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Неуместное замечание, но надеюсь, правдивое.

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Здесь люди едят, а здесь они какают.

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Эти места очень близко друг к другу.

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Я говорил то же самое. Ты разбираешься.

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Смотри, мы на вазе.

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Когда твои отношения знамениты, это в особенности романтично, не правда ли?

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Поэтому мы должны как никто другой понимать, на каком этапе отношений мы находимся.

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Это умно. Я согласна.

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Ваши божественные величества, я сделал скульптуру вашей встречи.

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Святые яйца.

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- Выходи за меня.

- Да!

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Они поженятся!

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В основном из-за моей работы!

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Волки, они умные, но свирепые.

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- Организованные, но импульсивные.

- Как и люди.

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Шлаб, если начнёшь затирать, что человек тоже животное,

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я прижму тебя к полу и задоминирую без сексуального подтекста.

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Поэтому ты идеальный циклоп для этого задания, сестра.

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Новая технология позволит тебе ходить среди волков, как одна из них.

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Это бак волчьей мочи?

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- Это проблема?

- Думаешь, я боюсь?

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Сейчас и тебя прижму к полу.

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Дети, дети, не нужно ссориться.

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Мы все успеем залезть в чёртов бак.

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Тогда начнём!

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Не приближайся.

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Не плрбиблжапвы.

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Ты меня понимаешь?

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Ты вообще волк?

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Птица птица.

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Малыш лев луна.

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Мне это не нравится. Не шевелись.

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Ты ешь МНОГО белков. Драться не будем.

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Теперь мы друзья. Как насчёт визита к вашему вожаку?

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У тебя больной голос.

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Наверно это из-за мочи.

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Мать будет очень рада, что мы поженимся.

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И я уже даже не считаю это минусом.

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А я рада, что меня не отталкивает то, как часто ты ее упоминаешь.

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Пожалуй, я слишком стремлюсь доказать, что она неправа.

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Она олицетворяет старый мир, в котором для меня никогда не было места.

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А потом я ударил кракена. Я ударяющий кракена.

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Да, это ты.

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Что это? Это кракен?

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Боже, о боже, как думаешь, это тот же самый?

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- Мне ударить его снова?

- Я не знаю!

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Ну, прячься за меня, наверное.

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- Или убегаем?

- Я не знаю!

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Если убежим, ты будешь меня любить?

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- Думаю, да.

- Слава богу. Бежим!

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Только попробуй - и ты труп.

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Проклятье.

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Где твоя мать? Она кинула меня.

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Видишь, не я один о ней говорю. Постой, что?

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Извини, о чём ты говоришь?

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Его мать должна мне двадцать коров за подставной бой с кракеном!

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Ты не настоящий кракен?

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Кракен настоящий, придурок, а бой нет.

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Кракен!

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О нет!

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Ай, ай, ай!

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Я сражён!

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Скажи этой суке, что я никуда не уйду, пока я голоден!

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Извини за выражение, милая.

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Я очень уважаю Посейдона.

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Кракены зовут твоего папу богом кракенов.

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А, и поздравляю.

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Я слышал, вы помолвились.

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- Спасибо.

- Спасибо.

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И Делирии сын кракена победил.

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Ведь он Делирии сын.

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Прекрасно.

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А дочь Посейдона звала из воды...

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Посейдон может и сам заказать себе песню.

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Добавь здесь что-то цепляющее, типа...

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Свадьбу сыграет Делирии сын.

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Делирии, Делирии.

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Мне нравится эта идея. Я придумаю текст.

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Я дала тебе текст.

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Манипуляторша!

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Кто меня сдал? Кракен?

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Что стало с экипажем? Они утонули?

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Я превратила их в рыбу в воде,

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вернула домой и тоже свела их с жёнами.

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В отличие от тебя, они не будут жаловаться.

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- Ты можешь?..

- Нет проблем.

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В смысле, выйти отсюда.

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Не говори с моим бардом, как с рабом.

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- Если уйдёшь, ты умрёшь.

- Нет проблем.

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- Я думал, я влюблён!

- Так и есть!

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А она влюбилась в тебя, как ни странно.

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Но если болтливый кракен всё испортил,

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мы предложим ей сделку получше.

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Я не хочу предлагать ей сделку.

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Я всю жизнь тебе говорил, я не хочу, чтобы мне предоставили женщину.

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Да, да, ты хочешь завоевать женщину,

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дав ей больше вещей, чем кто-то более красивый.

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Это по-современному, сын. Но мы так пробовали.

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С меня хватит сыновей, с тобой было слишком много мороки.

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Так что с тебя внук, который будет достоин тебя свергнуть.

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Теперь я умру самым довольным в мире девственником,

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ведь я наконец хоть чего-то тебя лишу.

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Может, я пойду?

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- Нет!

- Нет! Я пойду.

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Я должен вернуть принцессу.

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Прости, что пыталась помочь.

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Если бы хоть кто-то во всём мире хотел твоей помощи, мама,

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ты портила бы его жизнь, а не мою!

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Свадьбу сыграет Делирии с...

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Пауки!

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Боже, за что?

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Они ядовитые? Они не кусаются.

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Они повсюду. Можно спросить за что?

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Видимо, нельзя! Чем бы я ни провинился, простите!

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Как много пауков! Мне можно их убить?

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Я уже убил кучу, просто размахивая руками.

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Если это испытание, я могу постараться не двигаться.

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Я сделаю что угодно! Простите меня, чем бы я вас ни оскорбил!

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Я должен снять эту одежду!

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Вы знаете, похоже, ваш сын очень на вас зол.

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Я, кстати, на самом деле не правлю курс.

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Я просто двигаю эту штуку.

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Еще раз, где ты живёшь?

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В океане. Здесь.

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Извини, я не настоящий ударяющий кракена.

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Ты мне понравился не этим.

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Мне понравилось, что ты хотел свободы от богов.

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А теперь я снова бросаю тебя с Посейдоном.

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И возвращаешься к Делирии.

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Боги считают себя такими великими и могучими, но...

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Ну, они и есть великие и могучие.

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Но это мы нужны им.

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Поделом им будет, если мы просто...

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Исчезнем? Я знаю, где можно жить свободно.

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Это место называется "болото".

00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,280

Там не бывает богов.

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Если "болото" не специальное название для места, не являющегося болотом,

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думаю, там никто не бывает.

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Это болото, но это будет наше болото.

00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,870

Там у нас будет свое царство и дети.

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Можно попробовать. Я слышал, это лучшая часть.

00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:03,630

А после, с детьми...

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Давай так и сделаем.

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Давай. Погнали на болото.

00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:08,840

- Ты это всерьёз?

- Всерьёз давай попробуем.

00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:11,632

Я нашла волка.

00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:12,890

Всем привет.

00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:16,140

К вам идут два волка. Я буду жить с вами, ребята.

00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:19,350

И узнавать ваши секреты. Которые для меня не секреты.

00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,480

Я же волк.

00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:28,816

Это человек в шкуре мёртвого волка.

00:10:28,816 --> 00:10:31,280

Это главный? Что он сказал, что-то хорошее?

00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,660

Это защитит от дождя.

00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:36,290

Разве что пол немного...

00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:37,830

- Болотистый?

- Именно.

00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:41,580

Ты голодна? Пойду проверю ловушку на лягушек.

00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:49,470

Вероятно, я не умею ловить лягушек.

00:10:49,510 --> 00:10:50,760

Но мы свободны.

00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:55,180

Да, и нам придётся быть свободными всегда, иначе меня убьют.

00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,180

Ой, прячься за меня.

00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:58,850

Мне нужно оружие, нужна палка.

00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:01,480

Здорово, теперь я мастер ловли лягушек.

00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:04,820

Морковь?

00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:06,280

ГерофИла.

00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,490

Кто ты такой?

00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:09,240

- Ее парень.

- Ясно.

00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,280

Мое сердце разбито, но я не ревную.

00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,910

Тебе и не из-за чего. У тебя конский пенис.

00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,740

Это я ревную. Что у вас за история?

00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:18,580

Морковь был моей первой любовью. Он бросил меня.

00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:19,910

Я бежал от твоего отца.

00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:24,210

Я попал на крошечный остров в плен к неотразимым женщинам-кентаврам.

00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:26,800

Которые и спереди, и сзади были лошадьми.

00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,910

Спустя год я понял, что они обычные лошади, и ушил от них.

00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:32,330

И я вспомнил, что ты говорила о болоте.

00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,840

Вернёмся к тому, как ты год трахал лошадей.

00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,090

Я мог об этом солгать.

00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,210

Это безусловно так.

00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,880

Я пришёл не чтобы тебя вернуть.

00:11:38,970 --> 00:11:40,050

Поверю, когда увижу.

00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,220

Я прячусь от твоего папы.

00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:44,640

- Мы тоже.

- Да, мы тоже, пара, поселившаяся на болоте.

00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,350

Желаю удачи, Морковь.

00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,560

Тиран, он умрёт.

00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:51,480

Я пожелал ему удачи.

00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:57,610

Морковь, прошу, окажи мне честь и живи на болоте со мной и своей бывшей.

00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:58,650

Благодарю.

00:11:58,740 --> 00:11:59,820

Сразу говорю.

00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:01,820

Вы будете сволочами, если снова влюбитесь.

00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:05,370

И меня не волнует, что из-за моего собственничества это кажется романтичным.

00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:08,330

Нет, это будет мудацким поступком, который я предвидел.

00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:10,790

- Вполне разумно.

- Да, всё логично.

00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,490

Я поручилась за тебя и пострадала за это.

00:12:22,638 --> 00:12:24,390

Не подходи. Я не ранена.

00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:27,601

Я сижу так, просто потому что это круто.

00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:29,812

Хотя бы сделай тепло из этой палки.

00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:32,060

Я сказала, не подходи!

00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:38,170

Холодно.

00:12:38,195 --> 00:12:39,690

Ты смеёшься надо мной?

00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:48,240

Если еще раз принесёшь мне палку - пеняй на себя.

00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:50,200

Спасибо, что приносишь мне палки.

00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,810

Я в жизни не пробовала ничего подобного.

00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,540

Предположу, что это перемирие.

00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:58,840

Так что я прилягу, чтобы выздороветь или умереть.

00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,510

И убью тебя утром.

00:13:00,650 --> 00:13:02,730

Я не понимаю, что ты говоришь,

00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,900

но я согреюсь, чтобы выжить,

00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:06,530

и убью тебя утром.

00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:11,990

Что мы видим?

00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,080

То, что для нас добром не кончится.

00:13:14,810 --> 00:13:16,060

- Голод.

- Голодный!

00:13:16,150 --> 00:13:17,770

- Голодный голод!

- Ты ешь.

00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,110

- Еда?

- Да!

00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:22,820

Ну ёлки, эта игра должна была отвлечь нас от голода.

00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:26,030

Не плачь, Герофила.

00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,110

Мы еще можем отыграться в последнем раунде.

00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,740

Я помолилась отцу.

00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:31,750

- Что?!

- Ладно, теперь плачь.

00:13:31,790 --> 00:13:33,210

Плачь навзрыд. Ты убила нас!

00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:37,210

Извините. Я не знала, что буду повинна в наших страданиях.

00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:38,630

Теперь ты повинна в наших смертях.

00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:41,170

Но всё хорошо. Если по-честному,

00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,760

я ненавижу болото и хочу назад к маме.

00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,430

Что ты делаешь?

00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:47,090

Мама научила меня экстренному ритуалу.

00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:49,970

Немного мха, красивый камень, грязь.

00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:52,100

Думаю, выглядит похоже на маму, да?

00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,930

Ты уделяешь много внимания груди.

00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:55,850

Не тебе осуждать отношения в семье!

00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:57,690

Богиня Делирия, мать неблагодарных.

00:13:57,730 --> 00:13:59,730

Богиня Делирия, мать неблагодарных.

00:13:59,820 --> 00:14:00,770

Отец уже близко.

00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:02,860

Богиня Делирия, мать неблагодарных!

00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:05,320

Это я, богиня Делирия!

00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:06,360

Да, да!

00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:08,200

Мама, прости, мне нужно, чтобы ты...

00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:12,950

Если вы хотите сделать жертвоприношение, дождитесь окончания сообщения.

00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,540

Если нет, забудьте этот ритуал.

00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:16,540

Лягушка, лягушка!

00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:17,670

Дай мне лягушку!

00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,260

Дельфиньи лыжи!

00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,930

Надеюсь, ты счастлива. Эта полупресная вода убивает этих ребят.

00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:30,430

Пока вы в порядке, но поверьте мне!

00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,390

Извини, папа, я...

00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:32,810

Не хочу слышать. Папа здесь.

00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:34,680

Хватит. Я выдам тебя замуж.

00:14:34,730 --> 00:14:35,980

Где эти ослы?

00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:38,020

Идите сюда!

00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,900

Ты, жопа лошадиная, как тебя?

00:14:39,940 --> 00:14:40,940

- Подлива?

- Морковь.

00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:42,190

И слышать не хочу!

00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,360

А ты, синица, ты сын Делирии?

00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,780

- Да.

- Это твое имя, синица?

00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:48,070

- Нет.

- Назови свое имя!

00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,020

- Тиран.

- И слышать не хочу!

00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:51,240

Вот как мы поступим.

00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,120

Мне уже без разницы, кто на ней женится.

00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,080

Это будет один из вас. Второй умрёт.

00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,250

Папа, нет, не заставляй выбирать!

00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,880

Не заставлю. Ты всё равно ошибёшься.

00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,290

На рассвете вы будете драться до смерти.

00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:05,840

Мне на потеху. Но что еще важнее, чтобы выполнить...

00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,720

Нет, нет, мне на потеху.

00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,090

Дельфины умирают!

00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:11,050

Да, вы умираете!

00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,430

Умирающие дельфиньи лыжи!

00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:19,470

- Извини.

- Извини.

00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,600

Мне жаль, ребята.

00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,350

- Тебе жаль?

- А не должно быть?

00:15:22,430 --> 00:15:25,890

Я скорее имел в виду, что твоих сожалений и близко не достаточно.

00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:27,190

Мы виним в этом меня?

00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:31,480

Ну, ты привела меня на тайное болото, где живёт твой бывший.

00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,900

А затем привела своего отца. Так кого еще мне винить, крокодилов?

00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,950

Мы бы иначе умерли.

00:15:36,990 --> 00:15:38,070

Вы бы умерли.

00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,570

Я ем траву. Я бы выжил.

00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:42,330

Теперь ты выживешь, а один из нас - нет.

00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:45,500

И заруби на носу: тот, кто выживет, навсегда согласится с умершим в том,

00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,370

что ты поступила не лучшим образом.

00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:52,040

Да что вы, мне уже не терпится выйти замуж за наиболее смертоносного из двух ненавидящих меня мужчин.

00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,550

Это по-вашему смешно?

00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:57,050

Нет, но смешно, что в такой момент ты ожидаешь от нас сочувствия.

00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,760

Да, нареви нам реку слёз.

00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,220

Болото слёз.

00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,050

Не волнуйся. У нас с Морковью есть план.

00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:03,640

Посейдон может даже не прийти.

00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:04,810

Ты серьёзно?

00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:07,600

Иногда он заставляет людей ждать весь день, чтобы проучить.

00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,480

- Люблю такие уроки!

- Да, пошли отсюда.

00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,810

Время сражаться до смерти!

00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,110

Чёрт.

00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:17,280

Оставайся в моей комнате, пока семья к тебе не привыкнет.

00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,360

Я много хожу туда-сюда. Ты любишь ходить?

00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:22,820

И может быть, через какое-то время наши виды даже смогут стать...

00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:24,830

Внимание, волки!

00:16:24,870 --> 00:16:27,040

Отступите или умрите!

00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,250

- ...друзьями.

- Вы не ровня человечеству!

00:16:30,330 --> 00:16:33,420

Вы еще не изобрели звуковой конус!

00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,670

Итак, время сражаться до смерти.

00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,220

И не говорите, что вы друзья, поэтому у вас нет желания сражаться.

00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,840

Атакуйте в полную силу.

00:16:41,890 --> 00:16:42,840

Начали!

00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,810

Вы делаете именно то, чего я вас просил не делать!

00:16:46,890 --> 00:16:47,810

Деритесь всерьёз!

00:16:50,230 --> 00:16:52,400

Готовься!

00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,150

- Вырежем волков!

- Стойте!

00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,110

Мы можем быть друзьями!

00:16:56,190 --> 00:16:58,320

Мы с этим волком спали вместе.

00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,780

Ой, повзрослейте!

00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:04,530

Мило, сестра, но я не думаю, что эти волки понимают.

00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:07,330

Волк, ты меня понимаешь, да?

00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,940

Ты же не думаешь, что я тебя понимаю?

00:17:08,966 --> 00:17:12,670

Отлично. Я поговорю со своей армией, а ты переводи для своей.

00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:13,750

Слушайте меня!

00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,710

Люди и волки не такие уж разные!

00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:18,767

Они суют рыбу в огонь, это взорвёт вам мозг.

00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,840

Мы умные, но жестокие.

00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,063

После такого вы уже не вернётесь к обычной еде.

00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:25,430

Мы в особенности злы к себе подобным.

00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:27,484

Они только и делают, что едят. Еда повсюду.

00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:32,480

Возможно, мы наконец нашли животное, которое по-настоящему нас понимает.

00:17:32,630 --> 00:17:38,390

У них на лицах. Их кожа покрыта жиром и солью.

00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,220

Мы можем этим воспользоваться.

00:17:45,490 --> 00:17:47,410

Мы подружимся с волками.

00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:51,570

Мы заберём у этих огромных лысых обезьян всё.

00:17:58,090 --> 00:17:59,380

Стой!

00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:01,970

Мы не будем сражаться. И вот почему.

00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:06,180

У нас есть то, чего ты лишён... порядочность.

00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:08,050

- Морковь!

- Ты доволен?

00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:09,350

Ты увидел достаточно крови?

00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:11,310

Нет, я вообще ее не видел.

00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:15,270

Не верится, что вы пытались провернуть уловку с ненастоящим складным копьём.

00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,980

Ладно, ладно, ты нас поймал.

00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:18,820

Вы понимаете, что теперь я убью обоих?

00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:22,110

Конечно, вполне логично, что это тебя оскорбляет. И знаешь почему?

00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:26,490

Урок в том, что никто не любит, когда им манипулируют.

00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:28,620

Он понимает! Он кивает.

00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,790

Нет, я придумываю крутую мелодию, под которую буду вас убивать.

00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:34,000

Ум-ум-ум-умри-и!

00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,120

Умри, умри, умри, умри, умри!

00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:37,590

Но ты только подумай...

00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:51,680

О боже мой!

00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:58,190

Вот так. А теперь идём.

00:18:58,230 --> 00:18:59,310

Я ненавижу тебя!

00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,650

Да, да. Пошли домой, или ты еще хочешь быть свободной?

00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:05,030

Пошли домой, но я тебя ненавижу.

00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,070

Дельфины!

00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:07,490

Дельфины?

00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:08,910

Видишь? Я же говорил.

00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:10,450

Они уже мертвы. Кит!

00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,040

Свет опасен.

00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,250

Все, как один.

00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,540

- Вода - это воздух.

- Ладно.

00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:28,670

Ты человек, и он ушёл.

00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,590

- Это сработало?

- Конечно!

00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,880

Вряд ли Посейдон именно сейчас решит стать непредсказуемым.

00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:37,640

Можно спросить, чьи эти отрубленные человеческие и конские конечности?

00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:41,510

Нет, нельзя. Потому что урок состоит в том, чтобы никогда во мне сомневаться.

00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,730

- Меня устраивает такой урок.

- Я Морковь.

00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,730

Мы не друзья, Морковь. Сам добирайся до дома.

00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,400

Ты хороший парень, кентавр Морковь.

00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,150

И конь ты тоже хороший.

00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:53,490

Мы с тобой видимся не в последний раз, царь Тиран.

00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:54,490

Но!

00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:57,780

Он говорит "но" себе?

00:19:57,820 --> 00:19:59,820

Видитесь не в последний раз?

00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:02,740

Как будто это он решает, будет ли он постоянным персонажем.

00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:03,910

- Кентавры.

- Кентавры.

00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:09,420

Мама, ты была права. Я не могу тебя критиковать, когда я точно такой же избалованный осёл.

00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,500

Да, да, возможно, обманывать тебя было нечестно.

00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:14,410

Так на каком животном ты хочешь вернуться?

00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:16,010

- На орле!

- Я не дам тебе выбрать.

00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,760

Обманула! Кит!

00:20:19,180 --> 00:20:20,390

Оригинальный выбор.

00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:23,260

Не он придумал призыв китов.

00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:25,310

Мама, мама, мама! Мама!

00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,640

Мама!

00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,860

Как успехи?

00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:37,570

Они заинтересованы в одомашнивании.

00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:39,610

- Отлично.

- Ну не знаю.

00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:43,280

Они хотят жить в наших домах, спать в наших постелях и есть нашу еду.

00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:44,910

Они хотят, чтобы их выводили наружу,

00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,660

чтобы они какали и писали, где захотят.

00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:50,710

И они хотят, чтобы их каждый раз за это хватили.

00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:53,710

Дело приняло странный оборот. Что они предлагают нам?

00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,300

Мы можем их доить?

00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:57,670

Нет! Ни доить, ни запрягать.

00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,590

Слушай, я обеими руками за межвидовые отношения,

00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,220

но это самое одностороннее предложение из всех, что я слышал.

00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:09,390

И я не могу посоветовать человечеству ничего другого, кроме как послать их к чёрту.

00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,100

Посмотрите на их детёныша.

00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:14,020

Их щенки словно нарочно становятся умилительнее.

00:21:14,070 --> 00:21:18,530

Но наши переговоры зашли в... Ладно, посмотрите на этого малыша.

00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,950

Кто малыш? Да, да это ты.

00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:23,280

Просто иди и согласись со всем.

00:21:23,330 --> 00:21:24,950

Хватит вести себя как придурок.

00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:31,180

Да начнётся эпоха собачьего превосходства.

00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,371

This is Krapopolis.

00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,874

I swear it's not as bad

as the name sounds.

00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:09,476

- Or that looked.

- I bet he deserved it.

00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:12,346

- Fisherman, your king returns.

- We have a king?

00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,348

We're a democracy,

00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,450

so him not knowing me

means I'm crushing it.

00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,019

Oh, wow, and here's my family

to greet us.

00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,654

I guess you guys heard.

- Heard?

00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,390

That I fought a kraken,

rescued a princess,

00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,993

and I'm returning

with a girlfriend.

00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,628

Am I rushing it?

- Nope.

00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:28,996

I'm his girlfriend.

00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,631

Yeah,

it's the talk of the town.

00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:34,234

I've got two grilled octopus

and two coconut waters.

00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,669

That's us.

What do we owe you?

00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,671

- Three sandals.

- So you're only here for food?

00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,808

In our defense, we got hungry

and forgot you were gone.

00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,042

Can you break a chicken?

00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,278

Do I look like I carry

seven buckets of olives?

00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,347

Hey, girlfriend,

welcome to Krapopolis.

00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,448

- Oh!

- We need your sandals.

00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:50,217

We are good for it.

We're royalty.

00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,273

all: Whoo!

00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:18,612

The goddess Deliria

demands this story continue.

00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,949

Yes, Mother--fifth time

you've interrupted to say that.

00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,350

And I was tied to the rock,

00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,252

and the kraken

was going to eat me.

00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:29,123

But then, Tyrannis arrived

and rescued me.

00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:32,325

- You rescued me.

- You rescued me.

00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:36,330

You fought a kraken?

With what?

00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,798

My fist--

punched it on the nose.

00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,000

I guess that's their weakness.

00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,401

That's sharks.

00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,370

Well,

turns out nobody likes it.

00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:46,139

Herophile, Tyrannis

tells me you're a sea nymph.

00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,341

Would we know your family?

00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,077

Well, my father is Poseidon.

00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,112

all: Ooh!

- Very impressive.

00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,982

Oh, so when my son chooses

the daughter of a god,

00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,417

it's romantic, but--

00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,352

But when your mother chooses,

it's gross.

00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,487

Yeah, you're getting it.

Come on.

00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,022

You know what

I'm not getting?

00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,390

This kraken story.

00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,225

Don't be jealous

of your brother, Stupendous.

00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,493

He can barely swim!

00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,262

How'd he untie her

in the water?

00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,197

Krakens are bad with knots.

00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,466

Once again, that's sharks.

00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,336

I am bleeding to death.

That can wait.

00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,471

How is this

a feasible combination?

00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,441

That's Tyrannis' girlfriend.

00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:23,010

Oh, well,

I'm his half brother,

00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,612

which I guess

makes us husband and wife

00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:27,147

if he gets murdered.

- You were bleeding to death?

00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,484

Yeah, because guess

which animal still refuses

00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,654

to roll over for civilization?

- Wolves.

00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,755

- Wolves.

- Wolves!

00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,558

What is with this rivalry

between humans and wolves?

00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:41,095

They're the only animal

we will never be friends with.

00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:42,229

I'm just gonna

say it right now,

00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,297

they're man's worst enemy.

00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,931

Brilliant,

that's gonna stick.

00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,500

- Mm-hmm.

- You realize this poor

00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,201

young lady is sitting here

like a prop.

00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,103

Can we please give her

a bit of agency?

00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,938

Herophile,

I'd like you to decide

00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:53,674

when you're marrying my son.

00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,041

Mom, we just met!

00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:57,478

Her father is Poseidon.

00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,914

He's gonna propose

to you before sundown.

00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:02,115

Here's why--

00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,119

you're the hottest woman

he'll ever have a shot at.

00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:07,888

This family is

the wolves of people.

00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:12,359

I guess the legend of our

relationship is spreading now.

00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:15,395

I can't believe the king's

not going to die a virgin!

00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,231

Inappropriate!

But hopefully, true.

00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,766

And there's where people eat,

00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:19,633

and there's where they poo.

00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,302

Those places are really

close together.

00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:25,706

That's exactly what I said.

You're good at this.

00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,241

Look, we're on a vase.

00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,776

Being in a celebrated

relationship feels

00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,712

extra romantic, doesn't it?

00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,415

I guess that's why we should

put extra effort into knowing

00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,217

where we're at,

keeping it real.

00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,851

That's smart.

I agree.

00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,253

Your Divine Royalnesses,

00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:42,723

I made a sculpture

of you two meeting.

00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,994

Holy balls.

00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,529

Marry me.

- Yes!

00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:49,596

Mmm.

00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,799

They're getting married--

00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,968

mostly because of my work!

00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:58,205

Wolves,

they're smart, yet savage--

00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:01,408

organized, yet impulsive.

- Not unlike man.

00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,745

Shlub, if you start with that

"man is just an animal" crap,

00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,080

I will pin you to the floor

00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,315

and dominate you

with a non-sexual hump.

00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:11,484

That's why you're the cyclops

for this mission, sis.

00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:15,189

This new technology will

allow you to walk among wolves,

00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:16,857

perceived as one of their own.

00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,258

Is that a tank of wolf pee?

00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,126

- Is that a problem?

- You callin' me scared?

00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,329

I will non-sexually hump you.

00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,364

Kids, kids,

there's no need to fight.

00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,867

We'll all get our chance

in the [bleep] tank.

00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,368

Then let's begin!

00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:36,943

Aah!

00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,694

Ah!

00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,722

Now that we're friends,

what do you say

00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,023

we visit your leader?

00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:28,062

My mother will be so happy

we're getting married,

00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,697

which I don't even see

as a downside now.

00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,965

And I'm so happy

that I'm not even turned off

00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,166

by how much you mention her.

00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,335

I guess I do fixate too much

on proving her wrong.

00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,004

She represents the old world,

00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,139

and I never saw a role

for myself in it.

00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,107

Then I punched a kraken.

I'm a kraken puncher.

00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,943

Yeah, you are.

00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,145

Is that a--

is that a kraken?

00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,215

Oh, god, oh, dear god,

do you think it's the same one?

00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,016

Do I just punch it again?

- I don't know!

00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,218

Well, get behind me, I guess.

00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,786

Or should we run?

- I don't know!

00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,221

If we run,

will you still love me?

00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,923

- I think so.

- Oh, thank god. Run!

00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:56,924

Oh!

00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,125

You run, and you're dead.

00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,360

Oh, damn it.

00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,662

Where's your mother?

She stiffed me.

00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,264

See, I'm not the only one

who brings her up--wait, what?

00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,666

Excuse me,

what are you saying?

00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:09,303

His mother owes me 20 cows

for the fake kraken fight!

00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:11,137

You're not a real kraken?

00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:14,474

Real kraken, jagoff,

fake fight.

00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,117

- Whoa.

- Ah.

00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:27,688

Oh, a kraken!

00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:28,856

Oh, no!

00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,724

Ah!

00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,392

Aah!

00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,796

Oh! Owie, owie, owie!

00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,772

I am slain!

00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,139

Ugh.

00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:51,178

You tell that bitch I'm hungry,

and I'm not going away!

00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,813

Sorry about the language, sweetie.

00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,315

I respect Poseidon a lot.

00:06:54,315 --> 00:06:56,950

Your dad's what krakens call

a kraken's god.

00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,318

Oh, and congratulations.

00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,987

I heard you guys got engaged.

00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,323

- Thank you...

- Thank you...

00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:07,060

♪ And Deliria's son

fought a kraken and won ♪

00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,262

♪ Because he's Deliria's son ♪

00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,998

- Loving it.

- ♪ And Poseidon's daughter ♪

00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,500

♪ Called out from the water-- ♪

00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,235

Okay, but Poseidon

can have his own song.

00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,538

What if that's where you put

a catchy hook, like--

00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,741

♪ This is the wedding

of Deliria's son ♪

00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:25,179

♪ Deliria, Deliria ♪

00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,714

I love that idea.

I'll come up with some lyrics.

00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,216

I just gave you the lyrics.

00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,085

Manipulator!

00:07:31,085 --> 00:07:32,453

Who told?

The kraken?

00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,354

What happened to the crew?

Did they drown?

00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,623

I turned them into fish

when they hit the water,

00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,457

brought them home,

00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:38,325

and set them up

with wives of their own.

00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,394

Unlike you,

they won't be complaining.

00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,963

- Do you mind?

- No problem!

00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,968

I mean, leave the room!

00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,970

Don't talk to my bard

like a slave.

00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,505

You leave, and you die.

- No problem!

00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,074

- I thought I was in love!

- You are!

00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,409

And she's quite taken with you,

oddly enough.

00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,478

But if the blabbermouth kraken

changed that,

00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,114

we'll just sweeten

the deal for her.

00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:01,916

I don't want her

to get a deal.

00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,150

I told you my whole life

00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,052

I don't want to be

provided with a woman.

00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,388

Yes, yes,

you want to earn a woman

00:08:07,388 --> 00:08:09,423

by giving her more things

than someone better looking.

00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:12,059

It's quite modern, son.

But we've given it a go.

00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,728

I can't make another child.

00:08:13,728 --> 00:08:15,195

You were too much work.

00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,765

You owe me a grandson

worthy of overthrowing you.

00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:21,168

Well, now I can die the

world's most satisfied virgin

00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,737

since I'll finally be

depriving you of something.

00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:24,805

Maybe I should go.

00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:25,973

both: No!

- I'm going.

00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,941

I have a princess to return.

00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,310

So sorry I tried to help you.

00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,213

If there were anyone

in this entire world

00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,548

that wanted your help, Mother,

00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,484

you'd be ruining their life

instead of mine!

00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:42,489

♪ This is the wedding

of Deliria's-- ♪

00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,357

spiders!

00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:44,525

Oh, god, why?

00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,961

Are they poisonous?

They're not biting.

00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,362

They're everywhere!

Can I just ask why?

00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,400

I'll take that as a no!

Whatever I did, I'm sorry!

00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,202

So many spiders!

Am I allowed to kill them?

00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,438

I'm killing a lot of them

just by flailing.

00:08:57,438 --> 00:09:00,173

If that's some kind of test,

I can try to stand still.

00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,942

I'll do anything!

I'm so sorry

00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,243

for whatever I did

to offend you!

00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,613

I have to get out

of these clothes!

00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:08,381

You know, your son does

seem pretty mad at you.

00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:18,392

I'm not doing any actual

navigating, by the way.

00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,160

I'm just moving

this thing around.

00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,262

Where do you live again?

00:09:21,262 --> 00:09:23,264

The ocean.

We're here.

00:09:23,264 --> 00:09:25,332

Sorry I'm not

a real kraken puncher.

00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:27,134

I didn't like you for that.

00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,802

I liked that you wanted

00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:31,171

to be free from the gods.

00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,473

And here I am dumping you

back with Poseidon.

00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,342

And then going back

to Deliria.

00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,377

Gods, they think

they're so high and mighty,

00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,179

but they're--

well, they're high and mighty,

00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,481

but they're the ones

that need us.

00:09:40,481 --> 00:09:42,382

It would serve them right

if you and I just--

00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,084

Disappeared?

I know a place

00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,687

we could live free.

It's called "the swamp."

00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,488

The gods never go there.

00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,857

Unless "the swamp"

is a special name

00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,224

for a place that isn't a swamp,

00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:52,525

I don't think

anyone goes there.

00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,229

Oh, it's a swamp,

but it's a swamp we control.

00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:56,863

We could have a kingdom there

00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,265

and kids.

00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,000

We could try,

00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,402

which I hear is the best part.

00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:02,937

And then the kids are--

00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:04,371

Let's do it, Tyrannis.

00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:05,639

Let's try it.

Let's swamp it.

00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,175

- You really mean it?

- I really mean let's try.

00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,245

Hey, everybody.

00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,349

Two wolves approachin'.

I'll be living with you guys,

00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:18,719

learning your secrets--

not that they're secrets to me.

00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:19,853

I'm a wolf.

00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:30,664

Is that your boss?

What'd he say, something good?

00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:34,034

Well, that'll

keep the rain out.

00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,535

I guess the floor got kind of--

00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,170

- Swamped?

- Exactly.

00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,772

Hungry?

I'm going to check

00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,941

on the frog trap.

00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,876

Ew.

00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,344

Eww.

00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,815

I may not know

how to trap frogs.

00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,117

But we're free.

00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,986

Right, and now

we have to stay free forever,

00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,554

or I'll be killed.

00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:56,356

Oh, boy, get behind me.

00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,225

I need a weapon.

I need a stick!

00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,861

Great, now I'm

a master frog catcher.

00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,131

Carrots?

00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,666

Herophile.

00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:06,833

Oh, who are you?

00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,468

- Her boyfriend.

- I see.

00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,638

I'm heartbroken,

but I'm not the jealous type.

00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:13,273

You don't have to be.

You have a horse penis.

00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,076

I'm jealous.

What's the story here?

00:11:15,076 --> 00:11:17,945

Carrots was my first love.

He left me.

00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,246

I had to flee

from your father.

00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,148

I ended up on a tiny island,

00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,550

imprisoned by irresistible

centaur women--

00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,153

women with the backs

and fronts of horses.

00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,388

After a year, I realized,

wait, these are just horses.

00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,923

So I left.

And I remembered

00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,492

how you used to talk

about the swamp.

00:11:31,492 --> 00:11:33,994

Can we go back to the year

you spent banging horses?

00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,262

I could've lied

about that part.

00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,396

That's definitely true.

00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,065

I didn't come here

to get you back.

00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,232

I'll believe it

when I see it.

00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,367

I'm just hiding

from your dad.

00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,202

- Us too.

- Yeah, us too,

00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,770

the couple moving

into her swamp.

00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,472

Good luck out there, Carrots.

00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,709

Tyrannis, he'll die.

00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:50,644

I said "good luck."

00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,714

Carrots, please do me the honor

00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,750

of living in a swamp with me

and your ex-girlfriend.

00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,952

I appreciate that.

00:11:57,952 --> 00:11:58,886

I'm saying this right now.

00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,988

You're both dicks

if you fall back in love,

00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:03,090

and I don't care

if my ugly possessiveness

00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,524

makes it feel romantic.

00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,259

It won't be.

It'll be a dick move

00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,495

that got called ahead of time.

00:12:07,495 --> 00:12:09,964

- Perfectly reasonable.

- No, that makes sense.

00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:23,544

Step back.

I'm not wounded.

00:12:23,544 --> 00:12:27,080

I'm just in this position

because it's badass.

00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,218

I said "get back!"

00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:38,859

You makin' fun of me?

00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:47,401

You bring one more stick to me

and see what happens.

00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:49,369

Thanks for bringing

all those sticks.

00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,608

I assume this is,

like, a truce.

00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:58,011

So I'm gonna lay down

and either heal or die,

00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,680

and I'll kill you

in the morning.

00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,162

- Hunger--uh--

- Hungry!

00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,963

Hungry hunger!

- Eating.

00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,264

Food?

- Yes!

00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,499

Come on,

this game was supposed

00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,935

to take our minds

off starvation.

00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,172

Don't cry, Herophile.

00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,207

We still have one more round.

We can come back.

00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,875

I prayed to my father.

00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,911

both: What?

- Okay, you can cry now.

00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,345

Cry hard.

You just killed us!

00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,348

I'm sorry.

I didn't know

00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:36,149

I'd be on the hook

for everyone's misery.

00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,785

Now you're on the hook

for our deaths.

00:13:37,785 --> 00:13:40,153

Okay, this is good though.

If we're all being honest,

00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,923

I hate the swamp,

and I want my mommy.

00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,391

What are you doing?

00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,260

My mom gave me

an emergency ritual--

00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:49,129

some moss,

a good-looking rock, mud.

00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,298

Gonna just--this looks

like my mom, I think, right?

00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,100

You're spending a lot

of time on the breasts.

00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,002

You don't get to judge

family dynamics!

00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,836

Goddess Deliria,

mother of the ungrateful,

00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,838

Goddess Deliria,

00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:58,872

mother of the ungrateful--

00:13:58,872 --> 00:13:59,940

- My father is coming.

- Shh!

00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:00,974

Goddess Deliria,

00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,009

mother of the ungrateful!

00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,712

This is the goddess Deliria!

00:14:04,712 --> 00:14:05,546

Yes, yes!

00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,347

Mom, I'm sorry,

and I need you just to--

00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,483

If you'd like

to leave a sacrifice,

00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:12,119

you can do so

after this message.

00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:14,688

If not, lose this ritual.

00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:15,689

Frog, frog!

00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,724

Give me the frog!

00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,429

Dolphin skis!

both: Ew.

00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,932

I hope you're happy.

This brackish water

00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:26,100

is killing these guys.

00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,770

Yeah, you're fine now,

but trust me!

00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:30,571

I'm sorry, Dad.

I--

00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:31,972

I don't wanna hear it.

Daddy's here.

00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,808

This ends now.

You're getting married.

00:14:33,808 --> 00:14:35,108

Where are these jackasses?

00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,077

Get over here!

00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,046

You, horse ass,

what's your name?

00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,081

Gravy?

- Carrots.

00:14:40,081 --> 00:14:41,248

I don't wanna hear it!

00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:43,517

And you, you're Deliria's kid,

Titmouse?

00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:45,953

- Yes.

- That's your name, Titmouse?

00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,253

- No.

- Tell me your name!

00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,156

- Tyrannis.

- I don't wanna hear it!

00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:50,157

Here's how it's gonna go down.

00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:52,259

I don't care who marries her

at this point.

00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,260

One of you is.

The other one is dying.

00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,430

Dad, no!

Don't make me choose.

00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:59,066

I'm not.

You'd choose wrong.

00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,435

At dawn, the two of you

fight to the death

00:15:01,435 --> 00:15:03,670

for my amusement,

but more importantly,

00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,005

to uphold--

00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,873

no, no--for my amusement.

00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,241

These dolphins are dying!

00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,211

Yes, you are!

00:15:10,211 --> 00:15:12,579

Dying dolphin skis!

00:15:16,951 --> 00:15:18,385

- Sorry.

- Sorry.

00:15:18,486 --> 00:15:19,453

I'm sorry, guys.

00:15:19,453 --> 00:15:21,321

- You're sorry?

- Should I not be?

00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,756

I was more expressing like,

00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,858

sorry doesn't begin

to cover it.

00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:26,160

We're blaming me for this?

00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,762

Well, you did bring me

to a secret swamp

00:15:28,863 --> 00:15:30,964

where your ex-boyfriend lives,

and then brought your father

00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,900

to the secret swamp, so I'm not

gonna blame the crocodiles.

00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,902

We were going to die.

00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:37,037

You guys were.

00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,339

I eat grass.

I was surviving.

00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,275

Now you're surviving,

and one of us isn't.

00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:43,377

And to be clear,

whichever of us does survive,

00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:45,012

will always agree

with the dead one

00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:46,346

that you could've

handled this better.

00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,315

Gee, I can't wait

to be forced to marry

00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,951

the most lethal of two men

that despise me.

00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,519

Is that funny?

00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,889

No, but it is funny

to pick this moment

00:15:54,889 --> 00:15:56,023

to expect our sympathy.

00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,725

Yeah, cry us a river.

00:15:57,725 --> 00:15:59,160

Cry us a swamp.

00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,027

Look, don't worry.

Carrots and I have a plan.

00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,630

Poseidon might

not even show up.

00:16:02,630 --> 00:16:04,598

- Are you serious?

- Sometimes he makes people

00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,566

stand around all day,

and that's the lesson.

00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,402

- I love that lesson!

- Yup, let's get out of here.

00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,771

Time to fight to the death!

00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,073

Damn it.

00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,174

You should stay in my room

00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,076

until my family

can get used to you.

00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,311

But I walk around a lot.

You like walking around?

00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,481

And after a while,

maybe our species

00:16:20,481 --> 00:16:21,782

can form some kind of...

00:16:21,782 --> 00:16:23,783

Attention, wolves!

00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,986

Withdraw or die!

00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:29,223

- Friendship.

- You're no match for humanity!

00:16:29,223 --> 00:16:32,359

You have yet to develop

the sound cone!

00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,629

Okay,

time to fight to the death.

00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:37,864

And don't do the thing

where you're friends,

00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,165

so you're conflicted

about fighting.

00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,801

Just really go at each other.

00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:41,802

Now!

00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,238

You're doing the exact thing

00:16:44,238 --> 00:16:45,772

I asked you not to do!

00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:46,773

Fight for real!

00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,345

Ready!

00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:53,113

- Mutilate the wolves!

- Stop!

00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,082

We can be friends!

00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:57,284

This wolf and I slept together.

00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,753

Oh, grow up!

00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,155

That's sweet, sis,

00:17:01,155 --> 00:17:03,490

but I don't think

these wolves understand.

00:17:03,591 --> 00:17:06,293

Wolf, you can understand me, right?

00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,997

Okay, great.

I'll talk to my army,

00:17:09,997 --> 00:17:11,865

and you translate for yours.

00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:12,733

Listen to me!

00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:15,669

Humans and wolves

are not that different!

00:17:17,838 --> 00:17:19,807

We're smart but violent.

00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,378

We're especially mean

to our own kind.

00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,783

Maybe we finally found

the one animal

00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:31,418

that really gets us.

00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,367

We're gonna be friends

with wolves.

00:17:53,707 --> 00:17:54,741

Hiya!

00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:58,245

Stop!

00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,914

We won't fight anymore,

and here's why.

00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,116

We have something

you don't hav--

00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,119

Integrity.

00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,020

- Carrots!

- Are you satisfied?

00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,289

Have you seen enough blood?

00:18:08,289 --> 00:18:10,223

No, I haven't seen any.

00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,192

I can't believe

you guys tried to pull

00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,260

the fake telescoping

spear trick.

00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,963

Okay, okay,

you caught us there.

00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:17,798

You do understand now

I have to kill you both?

00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:19,333

Of course,

it makes a lot of sense

00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,068

that this would offend you,

and you know why?

00:18:21,068 --> 00:18:25,405

Because the lesson is,

nobody likes to be manipulated.

00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:27,507

He gets it!

He's nodding.

00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,743

No, no,

I was imagining a kickass song

00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:30,677

to murder you by.

00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,946

♪ Dun, dun, dun, dun, die! ♪

00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,015

♪ Die, die, die, die, die! ♪

00:18:35,015 --> 00:18:35,983

But I think if you think--

00:18:35,983 --> 00:18:37,017

ah!

00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:38,452

Whoa!

00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:44,257

Uh...

00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,630

Oh, my god!

00:18:55,035 --> 00:18:57,137

Let it out.

Let's go.

00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,271

I hate you!

00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,007

Yeah, yeah.

You comin' home?

00:19:00,007 --> 00:19:01,575

Or do you wanna

keep being free?

00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,978

I'll come home,

but I hate you.

00:19:03,978 --> 00:19:05,012

Dolphins!

00:19:05,012 --> 00:19:06,446

Dolphins?

00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:07,815

See?

Called it.

00:19:07,815 --> 00:19:09,416

Already dead.

Whale!

00:19:21,762 --> 00:19:22,830

Light is dangerous.

00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:23,997

All move as one.

00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,299

- Water is air.

- All right.

00:19:25,299 --> 00:19:27,434

You're human, and he's gone.

00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,336

- Did it work?

- Of course it worked!

00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,505

It's not like Poseidon's

going to choose now

00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:32,506

to become unpredictable.

00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:33,774

Can I just ask, Mom,

00:19:33,774 --> 00:19:36,343

whose dismembered human

and horse appendages those are?

00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,278

Actually, you can't ask,

because the lesson here

00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,280

is never question my judgment.

00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,483

- I'm good with that lesson.

- I'm Carrots.

00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:45,285

No new friends, Carrots,

and find your own way home.

00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,154

You're a good guy,

Carrots the Centaur,

00:19:47,154 --> 00:19:48,822

and a good horse, combined.

00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:52,259

We haven't seen the last

of each other, King Tyrannis.

00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,260

Yah!

00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:56,563

He says "yah" to himself?

00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,599

Haven't seen the last

of each other?

00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:01,502

Like he gets to decide

how enduring a character he is.

00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:02,636

both: Centaurs.

00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:04,671

Mom, you were right.

I can't keep being

00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:08,175

so critical of you if I'm just

as much of a spoiled assface.

00:20:08,175 --> 00:20:10,277

Yes, yes, it's possible

00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,244

it was unfair of me

to trick you.

00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,113

Right, what animal

do you want to go home on?

00:20:13,113 --> 00:20:14,782

- An eagle!

- You don't get to choose.

00:20:14,782 --> 00:20:16,516

Tricked you!

Whale!

00:20:17,918 --> 00:20:19,153

Inspired choice.

00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:21,955

He didn't invent

summoning whales.

00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:24,057

Mom, mom, mom--mom!

Mom!

00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,393

Mom!

00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:33,633

How's it going?

00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,336

Well, they are interested

in a domestic relationship.

00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,372

- That's great.

- I don't know.

00:20:38,372 --> 00:20:40,141

They want to live in our houses

00:20:40,141 --> 00:20:42,009

and sleep in our beds

and eat our food.

00:20:42,009 --> 00:20:43,610

They want to be

escorted outside

00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,547

so they can poop and pee

wherever they want,

00:20:46,547 --> 00:20:47,581

and whenever they do it,

00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:49,449

they want to be told

they're good at it.

00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:52,486

Okay, that took a turn.

What are they offering us?

00:20:52,486 --> 00:20:54,054

Can we milk them?

00:20:54,054 --> 00:20:56,289

No!

No milking, no hauling.

00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:59,359

Look, I'm a very

interspecies kind of guy,

00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,997

but this is the most one-sided

proposal I've ever heard,

00:21:02,997 --> 00:21:06,100

and I can't advise mankind

to do anything else

00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,101

but walk the hell away.

00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,870

You guys,

look at their offspring.

00:21:09,870 --> 00:21:12,606

It's like their puppies are

intentionally becoming cuter.

00:21:12,606 --> 00:21:14,875

But the negotiations

aren't really--

00:21:14,875 --> 00:21:17,211

okay, look at this lil' guy.

00:21:17,311 --> 00:21:19,713

Are you a lil' guy?

Yes, you are.

00:21:19,713 --> 00:21:22,049

Just go in there

and agree to everything.

00:21:22,049 --> 00:21:23,717

Stop being a jerk.

00:21:29,923 --> 00:21:31,458

Did you get any of that?

00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,528

Bento.