Прометей

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- Разве твоя мама не бог?

- Да.

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Прометей, как все знают, дал людям огонь,

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пойдя наперекор горе Олимп.

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- Как же это круто.

- Очень круто.

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Мероприятие не интерактивное.

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- Держи, Гиппо.

- Спасибо, брат.

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Продолжая темы вдохновения и технологий, которые Прометей для меня символизирует,

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я зажгу прометеев огонь этого года, используя как можно больше технологий.

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Вы поняли суть.

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Узрите! Ваша...

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Ой, ёлки-палки. Вы все там!

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Какой приятный сюрприз. Я не знаю, что сказать.

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Мама, это не для тебя. Это в честь Прометея.

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В таком случае я знаю, что сказать.

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Сосите!

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Ладно, иди отоспись.

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Нет, нет. Давайте...

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Это праздник в честь Прометея.

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Давайте праздновать.

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- Пожар!

- Мое стадо горит!

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Кто-нибудь, позовите Прометея.

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Попросите забрать эту штуку назад, я права?

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Еще рано так шутить?

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Я мало что помню с прошлого вечера.

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Хорошо тебе.

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Ты всё вздыхаешь из-за того, что я якобы испортила

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ваш кругодроч на Прометея, который якобы нельзя испортить.

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Оказалось, что можно.

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"О, Прометей, ты такой потрясный.

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Спасибо, что украл огонь".

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Я всё время что-то краду. Смотрите.

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Я украла всю воду. Где мой праздник?

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Вы же знаете, что стало с Прометеем сразу после выходки с огнём?

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Зевс приковал его к скале, и орёл будет вечно вечность клевать его печень.

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Конечно мы знаем. Это лучшая часть.

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Ты хочешь, чтобы нам разонравился Прометей,

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и твой аргумент это то, что он страдал за нас?

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Мой аргумент в том, что орёл будет клевать его печень веки вечные.

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А взамен вы каждый год зажигаете в его честь свечу. Вот мой аргумент.

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Да, да, этого следовало ожидать.

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Угадайте, какой сегодня день.

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Все гадают, какой сегодня день.

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У нас нет календаря.

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День, когда мама пообещала сказать мне,

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где мой родной отец, чтобы я могла его побить!

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Это на меня не похоже.

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С чего мне обещать что-то для кого-то сделать без какой-либо выгоды?

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Вспомни, я спросила, где мой настоящий папа, потому что хотела его побить.

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Ты сказала: "Я тебе не скажу". А я спросила: "Почему".

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А ты ответила: "Тебе три года". И я спросила: "А когда скажешь?"

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И ты ответила: "В день, когда ты сможешь проглотить целого поросёнка".

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Ну вот, я тренировалась, и этот день настал!

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- Нет, нет, нет, нет!

- Оу, оу, оу, оу!

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Мы поверим тебе на слово.

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И нам правда нужен календарь.

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Милая, я явно просто хотела от тебя отделаться.

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Я не знаю, где твой отец, и мне всё равно.

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Он циклоп, да?

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Он должен быть на том острове, где живут все циклопы.

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Есть остров циклопов?

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Кто доставит меня туда?

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Это будет болтливое летающее чудовище.

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- Думаю, я не должен вмешиваться, это твоя д...

- Ты это уже сделал.

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Теперь развлекайся. Пока-пока. Хлоп-хлоп.

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Нет, не доедай.

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Лети голодным. Будет тебе урок.

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- Какой?

- Не лезть.

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Понял.

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Если понадоблюсь, я допиваю нектар в облаках, потому что я великолепна.

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Я ухожу, удивительное животное!

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У меня похмелье, и мне нечего доказывать.

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Полустраус уходит.

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Ах, это дуновение свежего океанского ветерка между ног.

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Можно спросить, почему ты хочешь побить отца?

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Ты чувствуешь себя брошенной?

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Что? Нет. Не лезь в это!

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Я не знаю почему.

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Просто есть какой-то мужик, из-за которого я появилась.

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И он должен знать, что это не делает его лучше меня. Поэтому я ему врежу.

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Сдаётся мне, это твои циклопские инстинкты дают о себе знать.

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Должен предупредить, их культура очень агрессивна.

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Эй, это Циклопия, остров в форме одного глаза?

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Это он. Но по сути у всех островов форма...

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Что ты делаешь? Не надо лететь прямо дотуда.

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Это будет позорно. Сбрось меня в стороне.

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Кто из вас, жопоклюев, обрюхатил мою маму?

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- Кто хочет знать?

- Кто спрашивает?

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- С чего нам тебе отвечать?

- Я тебе жопу на морду натяну!

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Эй, поосторожнее, двуглазая!

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Я не двуглазая.

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Это же глаз ДОнни.

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Ты прав! Это чёртов глаз Донни.

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Донни! Твоя дочь?

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Чёрт. Наверно. Почему ты ведёшь себя как мудила?

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Может, потому что я наполовину мудила.

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Ты пришла сюда плакаться о своих чувствах и винить меня в том, как ты живёшь?

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Я пришла затолкать твои зубы тебе в глотку!

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- Мне это нравится.

- Правда?

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Да, конечно. Мужик обрюхатил твою маму.

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И как это понимать, он что, считает себя лучше тебя?

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Мы здесь все бьём своих пап.

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Эй, хочешь пива?

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Мы пьём из бочек вместо кружек.

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Возможно. Но я пришла сюда драться.

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Да, а для чего по твоему пиво? Чтобы радовать людей?

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Что если я скажу, что хочу освободить Прометея?

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Я бы сказал "выйди наружу".

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Если теперь ты это так называешь, "выпустить кракена" всё равно звучит круче.

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Я серьёзно. Мы знаем, что наш герой прикован где-то к скале, и орёл клюёт его печень.

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И мы ничего не делаем? Почему?

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Мы не хотим злить Зевса.

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И у нас нет мечты доказать, что твоя мать неправа.

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Ладно тебе, ты учёный.

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Если Прометей прикован к скале, то не обычной цепью.

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То есть?

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Ты мог бы придумать способ обнаружить этот металл.

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Тогда мы найдём Прометея и освободим его.

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И конкретно насолим твоей маме.

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Ты одержим моей мамой.

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Ладно, если тебе так будет легче. Думаю, ты говоришь о магните.

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Что такое магнит?

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Способ насолить твоей маме.

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Тогда мне это нравится. И под собой я имею в виду тебя.

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Тебе нравятся магниты. А я хочу освободить Прометея.

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Сделаем это! Мозги и сердце.

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Это что... Мы придумываем особенное...

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Братское рукопожатие.

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Да, вот так... а затем...

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Доведём до ума позже.

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Мы уже близко.

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Эта штука правда работает?

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Так, нет, она ничего не делает.

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Это глупо. Я был дураком!

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Не знаю, о чём я думал.

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Эй, не будь так строг к себе.

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Нет, замолчи. Посмотри на меня.

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Я пытаюсь компенсировать свое отвратительное тело интеллектом.

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Но я не настолько умён.

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Я просто... Обалдеть, я гений!

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Иди туда и не надо меня недооценивать.

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Это была проверка твоей веры в науку, и ты ее провалил.

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Боже, о боже, сколько можно?!

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О боже! Каждый раз больно.

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А теперь заживает, хорошо, стало полегче.

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О боже, сколько можно?!

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Как думаешь, это он?

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Прометей.

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Эй, вам лучше уйти отсюда.

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Здесь орёл, который ест... О боже! Печень!

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Каждый раз больно!

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Прометей, я Тиран, царь Крапополиса.

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Это мой брат, Гиппокамп.

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- Твой фанат.

- Привет, ребята.

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Приятно познакомиться, но тут орёл ест мою печень.

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Если мы тебя освободим, скажешь моей матери, что она трепло?

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Не знаю, дай подумать. Да!

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О боже, снова печень!

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О, какая особая, специфичная боль.

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Дайте взглянуть на цепи.

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О ней не задумываешься, как о чувствительной области.

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- Ты про печень?

- Да, про печень, это больно.

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Когда ты идёшь в детстве играть, мать не говорит: "Прикрой печень".

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Но я провёл столетия, умоляя орла попробовать яичко или глазное яблоко.

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Что угодно стало бы отпуском.

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Как успехи с цепями, дружок? Уже скоро?

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Боги. Одержимы наказаниями, но ленятся с механикой.

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Тебе понравилось? Моя печень была вкусной?

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Ты хочешь убить орла?

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С чего мне это делать?

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Ах да, он вечность ел мою печень. Вот с чего.

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- Нет проблем.

- Ты это заслужил.

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Спасибо, что освободили меня, Гиппокамп и Тиран.

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Хватит себя жалить. Зачем ты себя жалишь?

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Я ответил на твой вопрос несколько раз.

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Я не жалю себя.

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Свалите, ребята.

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Ну и ладно.

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Как дела?

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Это место мне не по душе.

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Почему ты всё еще здесь?

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Я не могу сказать твоей матери, что оставил тебя тут.

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Почему? Ты не мой папа.

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И я не обязана тебе объясняться.

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Ты всё равно не поймёшь. Ты двуглазый.

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Эй, идиотка, ты идёшь?

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Ты мной не командуешь, придурок!

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Мы идём на пляж бросаться камнями в остров великанов.

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Он не понимает, что это невозможно?

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У них нет восприятия глубины.

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Пока!

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Я никогда не мог попасть в этих придурков, но мне нравится пытаться.

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Великаны это просто циклопы с лишним глазом!

00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,570

Охренеть.

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Ты попала в великана!

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Кажется, это был ребёнок, но это был великанский ребёнок!

00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:29,250

Да, я это сделала!

00:09:30,710 --> 00:09:32,710

В общем, слушай.

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Было весело, но...

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Будет еще веселее?

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Не усложняй себе жизнь.

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Ты огромная и крутая,

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но в глубине души ты думаешь: "Я хочу к папочке".

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У циклопов так не принято.

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Мы не прячем близость за агрессией.

00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,520

Мы по-настоящему агрессивные.

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Я не уверена, что я тебя понимаю!

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Как тебе?

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Это лучше, чем пытаться меня обнять,

00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:01,940

но я всё равно вижу, что ты хочешь меня обнять.

00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:04,780

Как насчёт обнять твой череп камнем?

00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,160

Тогда я умру, зная, что я ошибался.

00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,160

Но если я прав, ты не сможешь меня убить.

00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:13,620

У тебя один глаз, но ты ведёшь себя как великан.

00:10:13,670 --> 00:10:17,666

Видишь? Одно только это должно было меня убить.

00:10:17,666 --> 00:10:19,660

Всего хорошего, ослина.

00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:23,220

Когда ты в последний раз был свободен, смертные жили в пещерах.

00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:25,550

А теперь вы строите крошечные личные пещеры.

00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:26,760

Я бы не стал так делать.

00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:29,350

Но... О, что это за круглые штуки?

00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:30,680

- Колёса.

- Мило.

00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:32,390

О, посмотри-ка.

00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,770

А? А?

00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,770

Не благодарите.

00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:37,650

Он оказался довольно полезным.

00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:39,570

Мы пользуемся им каждый день.

00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:42,163

Итак, насчёт того, что мы обсуждали.

00:10:42,204 --> 00:10:45,530

Моя мама пыталась порицать нас за то, что мы твои поклонники, и...

00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,570

Ах да, конечно.

00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,120

Взорвём сучке мозг. Где она?

00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,780

Ладно, расслабься. Не заморачивайся.

00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,990

Случайное животное.

00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,990

Что за ерунда?

00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,740

Это не случайно. Это страус.

00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:00,870

Ты слишком стараешься.

00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,410

На этот раз правда случайное. Не думай, просто действуй.

00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:07,710

Ох, чёрт.

00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:08,710

Прометей?

00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:10,130

Делирия?

00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,470

Ты не изменилась.

00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:14,340

Я бессмертна.

00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:15,590

Я тоже.

00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:28,610

Как у вас тут дела?

00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,360

Неплохо.

00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:36,490

Уйдём и вернёмся более громко?

00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:39,110

Ладно, ладно. Я теперь замужем.

00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,830

Твой муж бы всё понял.

00:11:40,870 --> 00:11:42,120

Он бы более чем понял.

00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,000

Он бы захотел понаблюдать и так далее.

00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,630

- Как ты освободился?

- Мы его освободили.

00:11:46,670 --> 00:11:48,170

Откуда вы друг друга знаете?

00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,340

Ну, мы видели, откуда.

00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:51,090

Очевидно, было время, когда они трахались.

00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:53,210

Твоя мать была моей героиней.

00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,170

Перестань.

00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:56,680

Украсть огонь было ее идеей!

00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,260

- Прекрати!

- Подумаешь!

00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:01,810

У всех богов была эта идея. Идеей было выбесить Зевса.

00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:03,310

Что будет, когда он начнёт тебя искать?

00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:07,020

Не знаю. Может быть, мне найти его первым?

00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,060

- Как же он крут.

- Офигеть!

00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:11,270

Гиппокамп, я хотел бы увидеть твою мастерскую.

00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:14,740

Боже! Да, она в той стороне.

00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,860

Там немного бардак, потому что я работал с бронзой.

00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:20,990

Тебе это покажется глупым, но я считаю ее огнём от мира металлов.

00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,240

Почему ты это скрывала? Ты хвастаешься даже дыханием.

00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:25,160

- Мне не нужно дышать.

- Видишь?

00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:27,370

Ты хотела, чтобы я разочаровался в своем герое.

00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:30,410

Сказать, что вы трахались, было бы в твоем стиле.

00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:32,120

И кстати, это бы сработало.

00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,790

Так почему ты впервые в жизни проявила сдержанность?

00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:36,960

Ты его любила?

00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,170

Многие боги его любили.

00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:40,040

За то что он противоборствовал Зевсу.

00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,420

Это всегда было весело. А потом не было.

00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,840

Потом его наказали, и вы все стали послушными.

00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:49,260

Ты ослушался и освободил его! Ты еще пожалеешь! Он опасен.

00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:52,310

Ты не говорила об этом, потому что тебе стыдно.

00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,770

Если я это признаю, ты его прогонишь?

00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:55,930

Я твой сын, мама.

00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:57,560

Но сперва признай это.

00:12:57,650 --> 00:12:59,270

Мне стыдно, что я от него отвернулась.

00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,190

И правильно! Я тебя подловил!

00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:03,637

Ты убеждала, что я поступил плохо, но я поступил хорошо!

00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:07,070

И теперь ты вынуждена признать, что ты плохая, потому что я лучше тебя.

00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,070

И ты это признала.

00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,070

Я сказал это. Я лучше тебя. Ха!

00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,660

Уйди из моего храма!

00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:15,580

С радостью! Я ухожу из храма стыда, танцуя танец гордости.

00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:18,540

Я растаю или взорвусь от гордости, если останусь.

00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:22,630

У моей матери есть стыд! Нарисуйте это на вазе!

00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:26,590

Что случилось?

00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,180

Ты что, пыталась пройти по дну океана?

00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:32,100

Я захотела вернуться домой, и я не умею плавать.

00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,310

Это называется "тонуть".

00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,350

Зови это как хочешь, но я дома.

00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:37,640

Нет, не дома. Всё еще на Циклопии.

00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:40,940

- Если тебе нужно домой, я...

- Мне ничего не нужно!

00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,400

Но раз ты еще здесь, ты мог бы подбросить.

00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,860

Хочешь обсудить случившееся?

00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:46,030

Твои чувства были задеты?

00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:49,570

Если еще раз об этом спросишь, я вырву твои внутренности

00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:52,530

и обмотаю вокруг горла, пока у тебя глаза не вылезут.

00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:55,200

А затем я запихаю твои глаза в жопу.

00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:56,830

Там будет полно места...

00:13:56,910 --> 00:14:00,370

Потому что у меня не будет внутренностей, и потому что глаза маленькие.

00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:02,960

Отдыхай здесь. Я принесу тебе воды.

00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,170

Из озера.

00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:09,340

Ты еще что за чёрт?

00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:13,050

Я нынешний возлюбленный твоей бывшей, и я вожу твою дочь.

00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:17,002

Если ты пришёл рассказывать мне о том, что детей нужно любить, я это уже слышал.

00:14:17,002 --> 00:14:18,850

Я тоже. Мы оба чудовища.

00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:21,020

Мы распространяем свое семя повсюду.

00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,440

Чудовища вымирают.

00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,020

Поэтому нам приходится это делать.

00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:27,030

Я не могу назвать имён половины своих детей.

00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:30,490

Но эта твоя дочь даёт многое и нуждается в малом.

00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:34,200

Она двадцать лет ела поросят в мечтах об одном ударе.

00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:38,040

Не знаю, что это значит, но как я ей и сказал, у циклопов так не принято.

00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,466

Но она не циклоп.

00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:42,750

Твоя сосиска была готова попробовать что-то новое.

00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:44,420

Может, и твое сердце сможет.

00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,630

А ты заставь мое сердце последовать за сосиской.

00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:48,760

Слушай, я не умею драться.

00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,260

Какая неожиданность.

00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:54,300

Тогда просто стой здесь, пока я надираю тебе... зад.

00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:57,180

Я ведь тебе говорил, я этого совсем не умею.

00:14:57,220 --> 00:15:00,020

Ты живой? Надо от тебя избавиться.

00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,310

Ох. Да, ладно, это...

00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,520

Мне говорили не лезть.

00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:06,820

Я сам виноват.

00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:20,750

Как же круто!

00:15:20,790 --> 00:15:21,830

Он недостаточно остр.

00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,870

Он острее всего, чем кто-либо, когда-либо...

00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,540

Эй, Гиппокамп, посмотри на меня.

00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:28,300

Знаешь, чья работа быть как все остальных?

00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:29,880

Всех остальных.

00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,420

- Ты должен быть лучше.

- Понял.

00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:33,010

Я думал, вы в мастерской.

00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:36,930

Прометей сказал мне расплавить цепи, чтобы ковать штуки из сверхъестественного металла.

00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,310

Какие штуки?

00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:41,640

Просто клинок, способный перерезать горло богу.

00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:44,940

О, эй, мне, как политику, не следует его держать.

00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,150

Ты еще здесь?

00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:49,110

- Острее!

- Да, понял.

00:15:49,150 --> 00:15:51,650

- Он чокнутый.

- Здорово.

00:15:51,740 --> 00:15:52,900

Удачи!

00:15:52,950 --> 00:15:55,360

На революции нет места политике.

00:15:55,490 --> 00:15:57,120

Ты теперь воин.

00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,700

Завтра мы осадим Олимп.

00:15:59,790 --> 00:16:02,910

Осады это не мое. Никогда не был в них силён.

00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,710

Мой конёк - сарказм.

00:16:04,790 --> 00:16:07,540

Если кто-то, кого я ненавижу, скажет глупость,

00:16:07,590 --> 00:16:11,670

я отвечу "хорошая мысль". И они не поймут, что я это не всерьёз.

00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:16,760

Я дал вам, людям, огонь, чтобы вы сделали дело, чтобы вы всё исправили!

00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,640

Я возвращаюсь, а вы за это время изобрели какой-то пирог?

00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,720

Слова человека, который никогда не пробовал пирог.

00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:24,100

Отпусти его.

00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:28,980

А если нет? Не говори мне, что ты и правда борешься за то, что тебе дорого.

00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:30,900

Он мне не дорог. Взгляни на его волосы!

00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,360

Просто смертные не помогут тебе в борьбе с Зевсом.

00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,280

Смертные, как известно, умирают.

00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:36,780

Поэтому их так и назвали.

00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,910

Кому из богов я могу доверять?

00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:41,660

Мне.

00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:42,950

Серьёзно?

00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,070

Ладно, рад слышать.

00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,240

Выходим на рассвете.

00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:49,580

Что ты будешь с ним делать?

00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,250

Я сделаю, что он просит. Я у него в долгу.

00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:53,710

Ты окажешься на скале вместе с ним!

00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:56,000

И твоя печень и без того молит о пощаде.

00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:59,000

Если он потерпит неудачу, а он как обычно потерпит неудачу,

00:16:59,090 --> 00:17:02,260

Зевс узнает, кто его освободил, укрыл и вооружил.

00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:06,930

И от твоего города останется только дыра в форме гигантского пениса Зевса.

00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:10,140

Ты делаешь это, чтобы защитить меня?

00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:11,970

Что ты чувствуешь?

00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:14,230

- Стыд.

- Хорошо. Ты это заслужил.

00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,230

Эй, Колосса!

00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,480

Я слышал, ты уходишь.

00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:25,950

И я хотел перед тобой извиниться. Я очень тебя люблю.

00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:28,110

Шлаб, ты убил моего папу?

00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,740

Э... Да.

00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:34,610

Спасибо. Ты не обязан был.

00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:37,200

Я не специально. Я просто хотел, чтоб он перестал...

00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:40,290

Слушай, ты проделала такой путь. Я не хотел, чтобы всё было напрасным.

00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:42,200

Нет, я нашла своего папу.

00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:46,420

Да? О, очень мило.

00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:47,460

Нам пора лететь.

00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:50,380

Если задуматься, я тут много кого убил.

00:17:55,890 --> 00:17:57,260

Готовишься к своему походу?

00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:58,680

Какая тебе разница?

00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,430

Не верится, что меня приковали к скале из-за вас.

00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:05,230

Мне не верится, что я освободил тебя, чтобы ощутить превосходство над матерью.

00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:06,310

Тут ты облажался.

00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,360

Да, оказывается, она готова зайти гораздо дальше.

00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,230

Ты действительно не способен осознать, что такое настоящее самопожертвование?

00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,860

- А ты?

- Извини, что?

00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:18,700

Самопожертвование - это когда не думаешь о себе.

00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:22,450

И я не слишком долго тебя знаю, но чёрт, ты думаешь только о себе.

00:18:22,540 --> 00:18:25,080

И кажется, именно поэтому ты стал моим героем.

00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,460

Что это?

00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:27,580

Узнаёшь?

00:18:27,670 --> 00:18:31,340

Я уверен, что теперь он достаточно остр, но буду рад поводу его испытать.

00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:33,090

Я зову это страховкой.

00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:35,920

Это мой подарок смертным без каких-либо условий.

00:18:36,010 --> 00:18:39,090

Ты убьёшь меня, чтобы доказать что-то своей маме?

00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:41,350

Скорее я лучше умру, чем буду обязан ей жизнью.

00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:43,600

Тогда она будет вечно это припоминать.

00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,730

Вы все такие эгоисты!

00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:48,480

Вы, смертные, ничем не лучше богов.

00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,730

Тебе от этого хочется перестать помогать и свободно жить ради себя?

00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:55,030

Поделом нам будет, да?

00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,326

Позволь спросить, вот то колесо, его изобрели люди?

00:18:59,326 --> 00:19:00,570

Да.

00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:02,740

А белки, у них нет колёс?

00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:04,700

Белкам не нужны колёса.

00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:07,910

- Они не поймут, как...

- Они не поймут как.

00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:11,420

Не правда ли, очень удобная точка зрения?

00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:16,550

Ты собираешься украсть колесо у людей и дать его белкам?

00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:20,340

Что? Нет. Я не стал бы этого делать.

00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,890

Прощайте, смертные.

00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,100

Вы меня подвели. Надеюсь, вы переживёте этот позор.

00:19:30,230 --> 00:19:32,730

Дать тебе мешок побольше для всех этих колёс?

00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:35,440

Это колёса? Не знаю, как они попали в мой мешок.

00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:36,860

Я верну их позже.

00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:40,200

Но сперва я хочу украсть момент с твоей матерью.

00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,700

Ага.

00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:44,330

Идём со мной. Я дам белкам колесо.

00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:45,580

Мы же всё решили.

00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:47,540

Я никогда не верила в твои дела.

00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:49,580

Мне просто нравилось злиться.

00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:52,500

- Но секс был потрясающим.

- Весь секс со мной потрясающий.

00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:55,960

И видишь ты это или нет, но цивилизация -

00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:59,760

это смертные, делающие лучшее, что они могут, с тем, что ты им дал.

00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,680

Благодаря тебе у них есть то, что заслуживает защиты.

00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,760

Эта речь не могла быть более ироничной.

00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:07,640

У тебя за плечом человек собирает свиное дерьмо.

00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:09,730

- Они зовут это сельским хозяйством.

- Ясно.

00:20:09,770 --> 00:20:12,810

От огня к собиранию какашек.

00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,360

Век живи, век учись.

00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,400

- Последний поцелуй?

- Последний уже был.

00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,030

Следующий - для моего мужа.

00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:19,110

Прометей?

00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,160

Шлаб? Что ты здесь делаешь?

00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,870

Я здесь живу.

00:20:24,910 --> 00:20:26,700

Хочешь помочь возглавить революцию белок?

00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,120

Нет, не очень.

00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:31,084

Но теперь, когда ты свободен от цепей, ты будешь дрочить сам?

00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:39,420

Это Геркулес?

00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:41,170

Мое имя Геракл!

00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:42,970

Привет! Я совершаю подвиг!

00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,350

Отныне ты свободен, Прометей!

00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,940

Следующий подвиг!

00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:07,141

the only god I truly admire.

00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,309

- Isn't your mom a god?

- Yep.

00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:12,379

Prometheus, as everyone knows,

gave fire to humans

00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,948

in total defiance

of Mount Olympus.

00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,017

How cool is that?

- Pretty cool.

00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,452

This isn't

an interactive event.

00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,853

You want to take it, Hippo?

- Thanks, bro.

00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:23,156

In keeping with the themes of

inspiration and technology

00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:25,192

that Prometheus represents

to me,

00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,362

I'm going to light

this year's Promethean flame

00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:32,065

using as much technology

as possible.

00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:39,940

You get the idea.

00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,350

Behold! Your--

00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,485

ooh, whoops-a-doodle.

There you are!

00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:55,255

Oh, what a wonderful surprise.

I don't know what to say.

00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:58,359

Mother, this isn't for you.

We're honoring Prometheus.

00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,427

In that case,

I do know what to say.

00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:01,228

Suck it!

00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,130

OK, Mum, sleep it off.

00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,231

No, no. Hey, let's--

00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,101

it's a celebration of Prometheus.

00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,702

I can celebrate Prometheus.

00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,876

- Ah, fire!

- My livestock is on fire!

00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,410

Hey, somebody

call Prometheus.

00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,479

See if he'll take that stuff

back, am I right?

00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:24,885

Too soon?

00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:53,847

Don't remember

a lot of last night.

00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:54,981

Must be nice.

00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,350

Ugh,

you're still boohooing

00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,084

about me supposedly ruining

00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:01,155

your un-ruinable circle jerk

to Prometheus.

00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,190

Eh, turned out

pretty ruinable.

00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,359

"Ooh, Prometheus,

you're so awesome.

00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,260

Thanks for stealing fire."

00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,564

I steal stuff all the time. Look.

00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,933

I took all the water.

Where's my holiday?

00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,304

You know what happened to Prometheus

00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,873

immediately after

that fire stunt, don't you?

00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,308

Zeus chained him to a rock

00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,778

and made an eagle

eat his liver forever.

00:02:23,778 --> 00:02:24,779

Course we know that.

00:02:24,779 --> 00:02:26,180

That's the best part.

00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,149

You're trying to make us

be less into Prometheus

00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:30,684

and your big point is that

he suffered for us?

00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,854

My big point is that

there's going to be an eagle

00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,589

eating his liver

for all eternity

00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:39,093

and his reward is you lighting

a candle once a year,

00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:41,862

is my big point.

- Yeah, yeah. No, that follows.

00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,263

Guess what today is?

00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,898

Everyone guesses

what every day is.

00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,166

We have no calendar.

00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,101

It's the day Mom promised

she'd tell me

00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,437

where my birth father is

so I can go beat him up!

00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,239

Whoa, that doesn't

sound like me.

00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:54,241

Why would I promise to

do anything for anyone

00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:55,442

without any leverage?

00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,244

Remember I asked

where my real dad was

00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,412

because I wanted to

go beat him up,

00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,047

and you said,

"I'm not telling you,"

00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,214

And I said, "why?"

00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,148

And you said,

"because you're three."

00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,484

And I said,

"so when will you tell me?"

00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:04,985

And you said,

"the day you could swallow

00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,353

an entire baby pig"?

00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,456

Welp, I've been practicing

and that day has come!

00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:10,491

- No, no, no, no!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:11,959

we'll take your word for it.

00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,427

And we really need a calendar.

00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,496

Sweetie, I was clearly just

blowing you off at the time.

00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:19,266

I don't know or care

where your father is.

00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:20,433

He's a Cyclops, right?

00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:21,936

Wouldn't he just be on

that island

00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:22,970

where all the Cyclops live?

00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,972

There's a Cyclops island?

00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,373

Who's taking me there?

00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,475

That would be the flying

monster that ran his mouth.

00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,043

Oh, I don't think

I should get involved

00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,611

in your daughter's--

- And yet you did.

00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,314

Have fun. Bye, now.

Flap, flap, fun, fun.

00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,183

No, don't finish your food.

00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,918

Leave hungry.

Learn your lesson.

00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,119

- Which is?

- Stay out of it.

00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,421

Got it.

00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,355

If you need me,

I'll be finishing my nectar

00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,992

in the clouds

because I'm amazing.

00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:48,229

Amazing animal exit!

00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,764

Ugh, I'm hungover and

I have nothing to prove.

00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,766

Half ostrich exit.

00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:56,203

I say, nothing like fresh

ocean air on the nethers.

00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:59,106

Can I ask why you want to

beat up your father?

00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,941

Do you feel abandoned?

00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,910

What? No.

Stay out of it!

00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:05,846

I don't know why.

00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,314

It's just a feeling I have,

00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,116

like there's some guy

that made me

00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,183

and I need to let him know

00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:13,420

that doesn't make him better

than me by punching him.

00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,356

Sounds to me like your Cyclop

instincts coming through.

00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:19,927

I have to warn you, they have

a very aggressive culture.

00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,362

Hey, is that Cyclopia there,

00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,863

the island is shaped like

one eye?

00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:25,799

That is it, but all islands

are basically shaped like--

00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,501

What are you doing?

Don't fly me all the way there.

00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,470

It's embarrassing!

Drop me off further away.

00:04:32,907 --> 00:04:35,843

Ah!

00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,248

Which one of you ass-hats

knocked up my mom?

00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:43,150

- Who wants to know?

- Who's asking?

00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:46,320

- You and what army?

- My ass and your face!

00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,388

Hey, you better watch

yourself, two-eyes!

00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,757

I'm not a two-eyes.

00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,326

Hey, that's Donny's eye.

00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,162

You're right!

That's Donny's frickin' eye.

00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,198

Donny! This your kid?

00:04:57,198 --> 00:04:59,766

Ah, crap. Probably.

00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,134

Why are you being a jagoff?

00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,203

Maybe 'cause I'm half jagoff.

00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,808

So what, you come here to

cry about your feelings

00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,176

and blame me for your life?

00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,178

I came to knock your teeth

down your throat!

00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,383

- I like that.

- You do?

00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,618

Yeah, I get it.

Guy knocks up your mom.

00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,287

It's like, what, does this guy

think he's better than me?

00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,356

We all beat up our dads

around here.

00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,491

Hey, you want a beer?

00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,360

We drink it out of barrels

instead of cups.

00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,629

Maybe.

But I did come here to fight.

00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,265

Yeah, what do you think beer

is for, to make people happy?

00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,808

What if I told you

I wanted to free Prometheus?

00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,009

I'd say go outside.

00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,243

And if that's your new phrase

for it,

00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,346

I don't think it beats

"release the Kraken."

00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:47,715

I'm serious.

We have a hero that we know is

00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,584

chained to a rock somewhere

with an eagle eating his liver

00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,719

and we're just letting

that happen? Why?

00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:53,987

We don't want to piss off Zeus

00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,322

and we aren't motivated by

the dream of

00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,423

proving your mother wrong?

00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:57,991

Come on,

you're the scientist.

00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,393

If Prometheus is

chained to a rock,

00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:02,095

it's not with normal chains.

- OK?

00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,997

So you could maybe

come up with

00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,632

a way to detect that metal

00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:10,136

and we could find Prometheus

and set him free.

00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,239

And really stick it

to your mom.

00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,008

You're obsessed with my mum.

00:06:14,008 --> 00:06:14,909

If that makes you feel better.

00:06:15,009 --> 00:06:17,144

OK, I think you're describing

a magnet.

00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,211

What's a magnet?

00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,413

A way to stick it to

your mom.

00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,649

Then I love it.

And by me, I mean you.

00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:24,318

You must love magnets.

I just love freeing Prometheus.

00:06:24,318 --> 00:06:26,286

Let's do this!

Brains and heart.

00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,356

Is this--

00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,024

are we coming up with

a special--

00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,092

It's our brother handshake.

00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,895

Yeah, just with the--and then--

00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,363

ugh, we'll finesse it later.

00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,934

We should be close now.

00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,302

That thing is

actually working?

00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,038

OK, no,

it's not doing anything.

00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,241

It's stupid. I was stupid!

00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,275

I don't know what

I was thinking.

00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,277

Hey, you're being kind of

hard on yourself.

00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,246

No, shut up. Look at me.

00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,048

My body is disgusting

00:06:54,048 --> 00:06:55,448

and I try to compensate

with intelligence

00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,218

but I'm not even

really that smart.

00:06:57,218 --> 00:06:59,353

I just--

holy crap! I'm a genius.

00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:00,687

Go that way and

never underestimate me.

00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,857

I was testing your faith

in science and you failed.

00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,093

God, oh, god, not again!

00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,096

Ow!

Oh, god, it hurts every time.

00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,965

OK, now it's healing.

That's a little better.

00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,834

Oh, god, not again!

00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,570

You think that's our guy?

00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,272

- Prometheus!

- Huh?

00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,907

Hey, you don't want

any part of this.

00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,074

There's an eagle here

that eats--

00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,910

oh, god, livers!

00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,711

Oh, it hurts every time!

00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:27,114

Prometheus, I'm Tyrannis,

King of Krapopolis.

00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,615

This is my brother, Hippocampus.

00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,151

- Big fan.

- Oh, hi, guys.

00:07:30,151 --> 00:07:31,251

I'd say nice to meet you

00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,686

but there's an eagle

eating my liver.

00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,488

If we were to free you,

would you be willing to

00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,223

tell my mother

she's full of crap?

00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,425

Gee, let me think about it.

Yes!

00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:41,095

Oh, god, not the liver again!

00:07:41,095 --> 00:07:44,364

Oh, so specific!

Such a specific pain.

00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,100

Let me get a look at

these chains.

00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,200

It's not something

you think about

00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,635

as a sensitive area, you know?

00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,438

- The liver, you mean?

- Yes, the liver. It hurts.

00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,439

When you're a kid and

you go out to play,

00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,607

your mother never says,

"cover your liver,"

00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,743

but wow, I've spent centuries

begging this eagle to try

00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:59,613

a testicle, an eyeball.

Anything would be a vacation.

00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,048

How are you doing on

those chains, little man?

00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,183

We close?

00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,686

Gods, obsessed with punishment,

00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,688

lazy with mechanics.

00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,258

Did you like it?

Was my liver delicious?

00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,060

Are you going to kill

the eagle?

00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,029

Why would I do that?

00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,932

Oh, yeah, because it ate

my liver forever.

00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,165

That's why.

00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,633

- No problem.

- You earned it!

00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:24,838

Thank you for freeing me,

Hippocampus and Tyrannis.

00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,640

Ah!

00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,543

Stop stinging yourself.

Why you stinging yourself?

00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,946

I've answered your question

several times.

00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,747

I'm not stinging myself.

00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,082

Beat it, guys.

00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,017

OK, whatever.

00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,151

How's it going?

00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,020

It's not a place

I'd choose to be.

00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,521

Why are you even still here?

00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,890

Well, I can't tell your

mother I just left you here.

00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,325

Why not?

You're not my dad.

00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,260

And I don't have to

explain myself to you.

00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,131

You'd never get it.

You're a two-eyes.

00:08:50,131 --> 00:08:52,500

Hey, moron, you coming?

00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:55,970

You're not

the boss of me, jagoff!

00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,772

We're going to the beach

to throw rocks at

00:08:57,772 --> 00:08:59,040

the Island of the Giants.

00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,941

Does he not know that

that's impossible?

00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,342

Oh, they don't have

depth perception.

00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,044

Ugh, bye!

00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,953

Ah, I've never been able

to hit those jagoffs

00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,388

but I like trying.

00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:17,958

Giants are just

extra-eyed Cyclops!

00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,029

Holy crap.

00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,496

I think you hit a giant!

00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,700

It might have been a baby,

but still, a giant baby.

00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,668

I did! I did it!

00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,172

Ah, so, look.

00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,241

You know, it's been fun, but--

00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,109

But it gets funner?

00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,978

Don't make this hard

on yourself.

00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,479

You're huge

and you're a badass,

00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,115

but deep down, you're like,

"I want my daddy!"

00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,318

That's not the Cyclops way.

00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:47,054

We're not, like,

masking intimacy with violence.

00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,989

We're truly violent.

00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,258

Gee, I'm not sure

I can understand!

00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,893

How's that?

00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:58,999

You know, it's better than

trying to hug me,

00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:01,402

but I can still tell

you want to hug me.

00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:04,238

How about I hug your skull

with a rock?

00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:06,473

I guess I'd die

being proven wrong.

00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:09,609

But if I'm right,

you could never kill me.

00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:13,080

I mean, look, you got one eye,

but you're kind of a giant.

00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,415

See? That alone right there,

00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:19,119

that should've got me killed.

Good luck out there, ya mook.

00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,121

I bet the last time

you were free,

00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,622

mortals still lived in caves.

00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,025

And now you make your own

tiny personal caves.

00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,226

Not how I would've done it.

00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,829

But, uh, ooh,

what are those round things?

00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,164

- Wheels.

- Cute.

00:10:30,164 --> 00:10:31,865

Ooh, hey, look at this.

00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,233

Ah? Huh?

00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,102

You're welcome.

00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,071

Uh, turned out pretty useful.

00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,973

We use it every day.

00:10:38,973 --> 00:10:41,008

So, uh, as discussed,

00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,243

my mum kind of tried to

high road us about

00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,979

being supportive fans

of yours, and--

00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:47,014

Oh, yeah, of course.

00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,549

Let's blow a bitch's mind.

Where's she at?

00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,053

OK, loosen up.

Don't overthink it.

00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,256

Random animal!

00:10:55,256 --> 00:10:57,257

Oh, that's rubbish.

00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,026

That's not random.

It's an ostrich.

00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:00,126

You're trying too hard.

00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:01,262

Random animal,

for real this time.

00:11:01,262 --> 00:11:02,662

Don't think, just go.

00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:06,967

Ugh, damn it.

00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:07,935

Prometheus?

00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,369

Deliria?

00:11:10,071 --> 00:11:11,671

You haven't changed.

00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,574

I'm immortal.

00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:14,841

So am I.

00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,888

How's it going in here?

00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,623

Pretty well.

00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:35,762

Should we leave and

come back louder?

00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:38,331

OK, OK. I'm married now.

00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,100

Your husband would understand.

00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,368

Oh, he'd more than understand.

00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,103

He'd want to watch

and then it's a whole thing.

00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,338

How are you free?

- We freed him.

00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,207

How do you two know each other?

00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,576

Well, we walked in

on that answer.

00:11:48,576 --> 00:11:50,311

I mean, they clearly

at one point banged.

00:11:50,311 --> 00:11:52,646

Your mother was my hero.

00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:53,447

Stop.

00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:55,916

It was her idea

to steal fire!

00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,518

both: Stop!

- Whatever.

00:11:57,518 --> 00:12:01,088

All the gods had that idea.

The idea was to piss Zeus off.

00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,556

What happens when

he tries to find you?

00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:06,260

I don't know. Maybe I'll have

to find him first.

00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,328

- So cool.

- Badass!

00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,564

Hippocampus, I'd like to see

your workshop.

00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:14,001

Holy!

Uh, yeah, it's right this way.

00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,402

It's a little messy right now

00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,104

'cause I've been

working with bronze,

00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,339

which you'll probably think

is dumb,

00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:20,173

but I think

it's the fire of metals.

00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,675

Why would you keep this

a secret?

00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:22,475

You brag about breathing.

00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,411

- I don't have to breathe.

- See?

00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,613

You wanted me to admire

my hero less.

00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:29,450

Telling me you nailed him is

exactly your kind of move,

00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,185

and by the way,

would've worked.

00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:34,855

So why is this your first

experiment with modesty?

00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:35,956

Did you love him?

00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,224

A lot of gods loved him.

00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,092

We loved him because

he antagonized Zeus,

00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,494

and that was always fun.

Until it wasn't.

00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,899

Until he got punished

and you all fell in line.

00:12:44,899 --> 00:12:46,133

You're out of line.

00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,235

You'll regret freeing him.

He's dangerous.

00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:51,338

You never mentioned it

because you're ashamed.

00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,807

Ugh, if I admit that,

will you get him to go away?

00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:54,975

I'm your son, Mum.

00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,510

But first,

you have to admit it.

00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:58,311

I'm ashamed

I turned my back on him.

00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,180

You should be.

Gotcha! Ha!

00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,315

You tried to make me feel bad

but I proved I was good!

00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,084

And now, you have to admit

you're bad

00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,119

because I'm better than you.

00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,155

And you admitted it.

00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,157

I said,

I'm better than you. Ha!

00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,725

Leave my temple!

00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,027

Gladly. Dancing out.

00:13:13,027 --> 00:13:14,628

Dance of pride,

temple of shame.

00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:17,431

Too proud to stay here.

I might melt or explode.

00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:21,668

My mother has shame!

Someone draw this on a vase!

00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:25,472

What happened?

00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,108

Were you trying to

walk across

00:13:27,108 --> 00:13:28,242

the bottom of the ocean?

00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:31,144

I was ready to go home and

I don't know how to swim.

00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,346

I think that's called drowning.

00:13:32,346 --> 00:13:34,415

Call it what you want.

It got me home.

00:13:34,415 --> 00:13:36,717

No, it didn't.

We're still on Cyclopia.

00:13:36,717 --> 00:13:40,020

If you needed a ride home, I--

- I don't need anything!

00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,288

But since you're still hovering,

00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:42,456

you might as well

give me a ride.

00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:43,924

You wanna tell me

what happened?

00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,091

Did you get your feelings hurt?

00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,027

If you ever

ask me that again,

00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,662

I'm gonna pull out

your intestines

00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:51,598

and wrap 'em around your throat

until your eyes pop out.

00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,134

And then I'm gonna put

your eyes up your butt,

00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,869

and there's gonna be

plenty of room--

00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,371

Because I won't have intestines

00:13:57,371 --> 00:13:59,406

and because eyeballs

are small, yeah.

00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,909

You rest here.

I'm gonna get you some water.

00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,211

From a lake.

00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,382

Who the hell are you?

00:14:08,382 --> 00:14:10,117

I'm your ex-lover's

current lover

00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,119

and your daughter's... ride.

00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:13,354

If you're here

to give me

00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:15,289

the "you should love

your kids" lecture,

00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:16,791

I've heard it.

- So have I.

00:14:16,791 --> 00:14:17,925

We're both monsters.

00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,094

We spread our seed

far and wide.

00:14:20,094 --> 00:14:21,528

Monsters are going extinct

00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:24,097

so we need to get that stuff everywhere.

00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,100

I couldn't tell you

half my children's names,

00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:28,101

but that daughter of yours

gives so much

00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,704

and needs so little.

00:14:29,704 --> 00:14:30,571

The dream of one punch

00:14:30,671 --> 00:14:33,274

got her through

20 years of baby pigs.

00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:34,508

I don't know what that means,

00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:37,077

but like I told her,

Cyclops don't do this.

00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,379

But she's not a Cyclops

because it turns out

00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,781

your wiener can try

all kinds of new things.

00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,283

Maybe your heart could follow.

00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,685

Maybe you should make

my heart follow my wiener.

00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,888

Look, I'm not good at

this fighting business.

00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,322

Oh, what a surprise.

00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,425

Guess you'll just have to

stand there and get your ass...

00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:53,360

Kicked.

00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,263

I tried to tell you,

I'm really bad at this.

00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:59,066

Are you alive?

Just get rid of this.

00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:02,335

Oh.

Uh, yeah, OK, that's--

00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,571

I was told to stay out of this.

00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,873

This is on me.

00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:19,720

So cool!

00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:20,587

It needs to be sharper.

00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,956

That's sharper than

anyone else could ever--

00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,391

Hey, Hippocampus, look at me.

00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,361

You know whose job it is

to be like anyone else?

00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:28,929

Everyone else.

00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,497

I need you to be better.

- Got it.

00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,032

I thought you'd be in

the workshop.

00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,767

Prometheus had me melt

his chains down

00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,969

so we could forge things with

their supernatural metal.

00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,371

What kind of things?

00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:40,707

Uh, just a blade that can

cut a god's throat.

00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,042

Oh, hey!

00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,977

I shouldn't hold that

as a politician.

00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,179

Are you still here?

00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:48,115

Sharper!

- Yep, right.

00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,718

He's nuts.

- Oh, good.

00:15:50,718 --> 00:15:51,952

Have fun!

00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,454

There's no politics

to revolution.

00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,189

You're a warrior now.

00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,758

Tomorrow,

we lay siege to Olympus.

00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,962

That doesn't sound like me.

Never been a siege-layer.

00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,797

My big move is sarcasm.

00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,600

Like, if I really hate someone

and they do something stupid,

00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,738

I'll say, "good one,"

but they know I don't mean it.

00:16:10,738 --> 00:16:12,540

I gave you people fire

00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:15,809

to get things done,

to set things right!

00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,679

I come back and you've invented

something called pie?

00:16:18,679 --> 00:16:21,782

Those are the words of a man

that has never tried pie.

00:16:21,782 --> 00:16:23,149

Put him down.

00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,519

And what if I don't?

Don't tell me you'll actually

00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:28,055

fight for something

you care about.

00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:29,790

I don't care about him.

Look at his hair!

00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:32,425

I'm just saying the mortals

can't help you fight Zeus.

00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,361

Mortals die.

They're famous for it.

00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:35,863

It's right there in the name.

00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,966

What god would

I ever trust again?

00:16:38,966 --> 00:16:40,734

Me.

00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:42,002

Really?

00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,939

OK! Good to hear.

00:16:44,939 --> 00:16:47,074

We leave at dawn.

00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,409

What are we gonna do

about this guy?

00:16:48,409 --> 00:16:51,111

I'll do as he says.

I owe him that much.

00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,546

You'll end up on

a rock with him!

00:16:52,546 --> 00:16:54,648

And you can't possibly have

any liver to spare.

00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:57,818

If he fails, which he will,

that's what he does,

00:16:57,818 --> 00:16:59,152

Zeus is going to know

00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,121

who freed, sheltered,

and armed him,

00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,357

and your entire city

will be a hole

00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,793

the shape of

a giant Zeus penis.

00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:08,996

So you're doing this

to protect me?

00:17:08,996 --> 00:17:10,697

How's that feel?

00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,099

- Bad.

- Good. You deserve it.

00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,073

Hey, Stupendous!

00:17:19,073 --> 00:17:20,340

I heard you're leaving

00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,743

and I wanted to say I'm sorry

00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:24,778

and I love you very much.

00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:26,980

Shlub, did you kill my dad?

00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,584

Uh... yes.

00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,287

Thank you.

You didn't have to do that.

00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:35,856

It really wasn't my goal.

I just wanted him to stop--

00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:37,123

look, you came a long way.

00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,893

I didn't want your trip

to be a waste.

00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:40,894

It wasn't. I found a dad.

00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:45,066

Yeah?

Oh! Aw, that's sweet.

00:17:45,066 --> 00:17:46,099

We should get going.

00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,100

Now I come to think about it,

00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,002

I killed a lot of these chaps.

00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:55,943

Practicing for

your big mission?

00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:57,311

What do you care?

00:17:57,311 --> 00:18:00,114

Can't believe I got chained

to a rock for you people.

00:18:00,214 --> 00:18:02,082

I can't believe

I unchained you

00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,750

just to feel superior to

my mother.

00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:04,985

You sure blew that one.

00:18:04,985 --> 00:18:06,219

Yeah, turns out she'll go

00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,988

way further than me

to feel superior.

00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,256

You really can't fathom

00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,825

the idea of genuine sacrifice,

can you?

00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:14,528

- Can you?

- Excuse me?

00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:17,364

I mean, sacrifice is when

you don't care about yourself.

00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,032

And I haven't

known you too long,

00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,135

but wow, it's just

all about you,

00:18:21,135 --> 00:18:23,737

which I think is actually

what made you my hero.

00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:25,072

What is this?

00:18:25,072 --> 00:18:26,240

Recognize it?

00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,974

I'm pretty sure

it's sharp enough now

00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,977

but I'd love a reason

to test it.

00:18:29,977 --> 00:18:31,745

I'm calling it insurance,

00:18:31,745 --> 00:18:33,180

something I'll be giving to mortals

00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,581

with no strings attached.

00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:37,751

You're gonna kill me to

prove yourself to your mommy?

00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:40,554

It's more like I'd rather die

than owe her my life,

00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,189

since I'd never hear

the end of it.

00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:44,357

You're all so selfish!

00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,127

And the mortals are no better

than the gods.

00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,530

Kind of makes you want to

stop helping,

00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,398

live free for yourself.

00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,700

It would serve us right, right?

00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,971

Let me ask you something.

That wheel thing,

00:18:56,971 --> 00:18:59,206

is that a human invention?

- Yeah.

00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,275

And so squirrels don't have

the wheel?

00:19:01,275 --> 00:19:03,343

Squirrels don't need wheels.

00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:06,580

They wouldn't know how to--

- They wouldn't know how.

00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:10,083

Isn't that a convenient way

of looking at it?

00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:13,019

Are you gonna steal the wheel

from man

00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,222

and give it to squirrels?

00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:19,026

What? No.

I'd never do that.

00:19:24,732 --> 00:19:26,400

So long, mortals.

00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,735

I hope you can live with

the shame of letting me down.

00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,371

Would you like a bigger bag

for all those wheels?

00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,506

Are these wheels?

00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,175

I don't know how those

got in my bag.

00:19:34,175 --> 00:19:35,309

I'll bring them back later.

00:19:35,409 --> 00:19:38,846

But first, I'd like to steal

a moment with your mother.

00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:40,347

Yep.

00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,983

Come with me. I'm gonna give

the wheel to squirrels.

00:19:42,983 --> 00:19:44,251

We've resolved this.

00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,086

I never believed in

your causes.

00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:48,222

I just liked being angry.

00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:51,158

- But the sex was amazing.

- All sex with me is amazing.

00:19:51,158 --> 00:19:54,495

And whether you see it or not,

this civilization thing,

00:19:54,495 --> 00:19:56,864

it is the mortals doing

the best they can

00:19:56,864 --> 00:19:58,331

with what you gave them.

00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,900

You did do something good

for them

00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:01,334

and it's worth protecting.

00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,303

You couldn't have planned

this speech more ironically.

00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,273

There's a guy collecting

pig feces over your shoulder.

00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,375

- They call it agriculture.

- OK.

00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,479

From fire to collecting poop.

00:20:11,479 --> 00:20:13,013

You live and you learn.

00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:15,015

One last kiss?

- We had our last one.

00:20:15,015 --> 00:20:16,683

The next is for my husband.

00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:17,751

Prometheus?

00:20:19,954 --> 00:20:21,822

Shlub?

What are you doing here?

00:20:21,822 --> 00:20:23,323

- I live here.

- Ah.

00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,625

Any interest in helping lead

a revolution of squirrels?

00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:26,760

No, not really.

00:20:26,927 --> 00:20:30,530

But if you're unchained now,

will you still want handies?

00:20:36,137 --> 00:20:38,071

Is that Hercules?

00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,806

It's Heracles.

00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,608

Hi! On a quest!

00:20:50,117 --> 00:20:53,020

I hereby free Prometheus!

00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:54,621

Next quest!

00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:21,181

Did you get any of that?

00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:25,018

Bento.