12 сердитых козопасов

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- Не знаю о таком.

- Сейчас узнаешь.

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Стоп, чего?

00:00:08,410 --> 00:00:10,080

Полное безумие, да?

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Ох, Эдип, Эдип, Эдип.

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Не рассказывай.

00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,330

Это ерунда.

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Если бы я ослеп, то тоже часто врезался бы в мать.

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Ты читаешь с конца.

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А! Эдип, шаловливый ты первопроходец.

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Едва ли. Вся верхняя половина моего семейного древа такая.

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Колосса? Инцест, убийство?

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Не, мне знакома эта история.

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Отстойно быть Эдипом.

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Отстойно быть родителями Эдипа!

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- Да.

- Да, да.

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Знаете что? Я недостаточно часто это говорю.

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Мы относительно здоровая семья.

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Я веду себя, словно вы обуза. И так и есть.

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Но я должен ценить свою ситуацию такой, какая она есть:

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несколько лучше, чем у Эдипа.

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Как мило.

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Все козы в городе были частично съедены,

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след крови тянется до ворот дворца,

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и люди идут с факелами требовать убить вашего отца!

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Лучше бы я был Эдипом.

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И не мечтай, жеребец.

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- Папа, ты съел коз?

- Конечно нет.

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Я бы это запомнил. Козы удивительны.

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У них на головах есть удобные ручки, и можно просто...

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Когда тебя спросят, сократи свой ответ до "нет".

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Хочешь, побью их?

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Всех? Во всём городе?

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Это вызов?

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Если ты побьёшь всех, кем я буду править?

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- Притихшими людьми?

- Нет.

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Разгневанную толпу питает страх и насилие.

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Умный лидер разгонит ее спокойствием и храбростью.

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Так мне встать позади тебя или перед тобой?

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А можно я буду на твоих плечах?

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Разгневанная толпа! Разгневанная толпа!

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Все успокойтесь!

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Мы не хотим! Мы разгневанная толпа!

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Вы не будете ей, если успокойтесь.

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Какая удобная логика!

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Да!

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Мой отец не убивал ваших коз.

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Хотя бы погасите факелы.

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Это глупо. Сейчас день.

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Если будешь пренебрежительно относиться к нашему гневу,

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не удивляйся нашему решению быть толпой!

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- Ребята, нет, мы можем просто поговорить?

- С моими козами никто не говорил.

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- Да!

- А может, и говорил.

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- Но это не помогло.

- Да!

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Суть в том, что наши козы мертвы.

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- Да!

- Это объяснение было излишним.

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- Ох.

- Ты что, еще будешь меня учить?

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- Да!

- Наш город - отстой.

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Они даже не могут убить одного убийцу вместе.

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Послушайте, я создам систему,

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в которой вы, народ, будете отвечать за правосудие.

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Назовём ее системой правосудия.

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Не хочу говорить за всю толпу,

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но я готов согласиться, потому что факел тяжёлый!

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Да!

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- Пронесло.

- Да.

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Еще чуть-чуть и ты бы безвольно уступил

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сборищу оленей, которых я легко могла убить.

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Ты не понимаешь.

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Если народ отвечает за правосудие,

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им придётся согласиться, кто виновен или невиновен.

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Они не могут договориться ни о чём.

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Я буду говорить кругами, пока папе не сойдёт с рук убийство.

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Ты же не ожидаешь, что я стану тобой за это восхищаться?

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Я сейчас с ума сойду.

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Что ты делаешь?

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Это называется наука, мама.

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Не называй меня мамой.

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Этим словом пытаются манипулировать мои настоящие дети.

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От них я это терплю.

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Но не от тебя.

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Так в чём смысл этой твоей науки?

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С ней можно делать удивительные вещи.

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Например, дать людям воду.

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Вот так?

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Это тоже впечатляюще.

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Не правда ли?

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Это называется могуществом.

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Поэтому у меня есть храм, и смертные мне поклоняются.

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И поэтому приёмные дети-полурыбы не должны портить мне день,

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который до этого вполне неплохо проходил в опьянении.

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Могущество. Понял.

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Перед тем как ты уйдёшь, можешь?..

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Изобрети зонтик.

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По-тихому.

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Папа?

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Папа?

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- Хватай его.

- Брось, старик.

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Когда ты в последний раз пролезал через окно?

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Я не ухожу через окно.

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Я забирал свою травку.

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Я ухожу с крыши.

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Зачем уходить? Я тебя оправдаю.

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Сынок, тебе сколько, тридцать? А мне несколько тысяч.

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У чудовищ и людей всегда одно и то же.

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Я тихо-мирно живу среди вас, затем случается что-то жуткое,

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вы хватаетесь за факелы, и папочка сваливает.

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- Всего хорошего.

- У меня есть план.

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Я уже убедил людей.

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Поэтому они и разошлись.

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Ты должен положить мою голову на плаху, чтобы спасти свою.

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Когда ты так говоришь, это звучит плохо.

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Ладно, а как звучит это?

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Я поставлю свою травку на крышу...

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Ты не сбежишь.

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Оставишь мне травку, или это тоже против закона?

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Никто не запретит твою травку, папа.

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Я тиран, но не сумасшедший.

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Итак, вот как всё устроено.

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Мы заменяем огромную разгневанную толпу маленькой, сидящей, думающей толпой.

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Это вы, ребята.

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Вы вынесете решение о виновности или невиновности, выслушав обе стороны.

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- Вопрос.

- Это не твоя работа, но задавай.

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Почему тебе можно быть царём и защищать убийцу?

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- Это какая-то фигня.

- Фигня? Есть такое слово?

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Так здесь тоже ты главный?

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Ну да, это и правда фигня.

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Ладно, ладно. Это не царский суд.

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Это отдельный суд, законный суд.

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Здесь нет царя.

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Тогда кто главный?

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Ну, у нас нет... Ладно.

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Кто старше всех в городе?

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Что? Я не участвую в этой новомодной ерунде.

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Мне сорок!

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Тебе не нужно ничего делать. Просто сиди и будь старым.

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Просто сделай это.

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- Заставь его.

- Эй! У меня нет на это времени!

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Я могу умереть в любой момент!

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Мне сорок лет!

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Что это?

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Его оставил плотник.

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Он не имеет никакого отношения к...

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- Мы можем начать? Я...

- Что?

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В смысле что? Ты стучишь молотком.

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Когда захочу? Да, вот именно.

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Ладно, мне нравится эта работа.

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В отличие от вашей музыки эта работа мне нравится.

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- Продолжай.

- Ладно, я...

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Извини, что не так с нашей музыкой?

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Люди просто стучат в барабаны.

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Нам в ваши годы приходилось эти барабаны делать.

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Ты на пять лет старше нас.

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Ваше поколение всё сводит к цифрам.

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Виноват! Зато это будет отличная история.

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Это редко случается.

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Когда я трезвый.

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Ой, это уже слишком.

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В самый раз.

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Можно еще немного.

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Как ты, Герм-гермс?

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Бегаю и веселюсь.

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Рассказываю о том, что слышал.

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Кстати, жаль слышать, что ты потеряла столько поклонников.

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- О чём ты?

- Ах да.

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Ты наверно не слышала, потому что другие боги обсуждали это за твоей спиной.

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Убивайцы поклоняются новому богу.

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Убивайцы? Это мой город.

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Они молятся мне.

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Как зовут этого нового бога?

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НАтан? НаУм?

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Наука?

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Ты его знаешь? Представь меня.

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Или просто превратись в ворона и улети.

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Стерва.

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Где парень-рыба?

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Чем мы заслужили такую честь?

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Игры кончились.

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Верни мне моих убивайцев.

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Извини, но нет.

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Мне показалось, что ты сказал "нет".

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Но этого не может быть, ведь это приведёт к твоей немедленной смерти.

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Убивайцы, будете поклоняться Делирии, если она убьёт меня?

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Нет! Слава науке!

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Чтобы быть могущественным, не нужно быть богом.

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Нужно просто создать бога.

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Слава науке!

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Моя жизнь, может, и бесконечна, но не мое терпение.

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Тебе плевать жив я или мёртв,

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но моему папе - нет. И ты его любишь.

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Ла-ла-ла.

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Так что тебе пора прийти в ярость

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и придумать загадочную причину уйти.

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Я этого не потерплю,

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потому что я спешу заниматься любовь с луной.

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Наука требует, чтобы я искупался.

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Что будет веселее с другом.

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Отлично!

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Не знаю, поможет ли это.

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Но в зависимости от того, когда этих коз убили, я мог мастурбировать дома.

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На самом деле это мало зависит от того, когда их убили.

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Ты делал это перед толпой надёжных свидетелей?

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Ну что ты, сын.

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Мне уже не сто лет.

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Папа, при моей новой системе ты имеешь право ничего не говорить.

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Воспользуйся этим правом.

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Если я буду молчать, я не покажусь виновным?

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Не настолько, как если ты будешь что-то говорить.

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У меня есть трагедия.

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Я хочу убедить всех, что тебя обвинили только потому, что ты чудовище.

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Извините, что опоздала.

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Я шла, а не летела.

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Этому городу ни к чему лишняя паника.

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Извини меня!

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Сфинкс не может просто взять и зайти к нам.

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Этого сфинкса зовут БрЕнда,

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и я представляю владельцев коз в деле против твоего отца.

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Теперь ты не выставишь нас противниками чудовищ.

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Бренда, почему? Ты не такая.

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- Ты любишь загадки.

- Я любила одну.

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Ее разгадали, и нам всем нужно что-то есть.

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Должным образом, в нормальных количествах,

00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:33,570

с разрешения людей.

00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000

Все перестаньте быть шумными и молодыми!

00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,830

У тебя была запасная стратегия?

00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:44,500

Была, но она по сути сводилась к двойной ставке на первую стратегию.

00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:48,920

Как торговец гончарными изделиями, ты видел много историй,

00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:51,970

нарисованных на вазах, горшках и чашах, верно?

00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:54,760

Конечно, поэтому я и занялся керамикой.

00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:55,890

Я торчу от новостей.

00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:59,850

И сколько ты видел ваз, где чудовища изображены невинными созданиями?

00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,140

- Ноль.

- Тебя это смешит.

00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:06,730

Ну, смешно представлять вазу, на которой чудовище кому-то помогает.

00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,440

Никто бы этого не хотел.

00:10:08,490 --> 00:10:12,280

"Никто бы этого не хотел".

00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,450

Эксперт твой.

00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:14,870

Спасибо.

00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:17,450

Ты хранишь старые изделия?

00:10:17,540 --> 00:10:20,160

Ну, чем ваза старше, тем меньше ее ценность.

00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:23,460

Но я храню архив историй, которые кажутся важными.

00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:26,380

Да? В нём найдётся что-то познавательное для суда?

00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:29,550

Ну, между прочим, я нашёл кое-что интересное.

00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,840

Этой чаше несколько веков.

00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:34,090

Мы не знаем, из какого она региона.

00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:37,260

Но здесь видно чудовище, похожее на обвиняемого.

00:10:37,310 --> 00:10:40,720

А это, похоже, человеческие младенцы.

00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:44,770

А это, стало быть, обвиняемый, поедающий младенцев.

00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:45,900

О нет.

00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:48,610

А, это было в МесопотАмии.

00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:49,690

Или в ШумЕре.

00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:50,900

Я их вечно путаю.

00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:55,360

Но одно наверняка: я с тех пор набрал вес.

00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,790

Почему ты не сказал мне, что провёл часть жизни, поедая младенцев?

00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,080

Меня судят за поедание коз.

00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:05,670

Это к делу не относилось.

00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:08,000

Не хочу отходить от темы, но какие они на вкус?

00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:09,300

Не отвечай!

00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:12,010

Слушай, тысячу лет назад племя людей

00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,470

держало меня в заточении в яме.

00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:17,720

Они не кормили меня ничем, кроме своих врагов.

00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,810

Кто враждует с младенцами?

00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:22,180

Знаешь ли, ценностям людей свойственно меняться.

00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:27,230

Они всегда начинают с "избавимся от плохих людей" и всегда почему-то заканчивают ямой с младенцами.

00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,940

Дорогая, ты вернулась. Я соскучился.

00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,610

- Что ты делаешь?

- Упс.

00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,070

Многое теряешь, кем бы ты ни была.

00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,280

Мне всё равно, что ты делал с этой распутной птицей.

00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,820

У меня есть к тебе маленькая просьба.

00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:40,870

- Что угодно, любимая.

- Убей своего сына.

00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:44,370

Ладно, но поскольку он меня защищает, это может стать проблемой.

00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,830

Не нашего сына, своего сына.

00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,630

Я бы сама, но ты знаешь правила.

00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:49,880

Ты породил, ты и убивай.

00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,050

Никто никого не убьёт.

00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:54,090

Что Гиппокамп такого сделал? За что его убивать?

00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,760

Он отнял у меня моих убивайцев.

00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,720

И что? Ты ничего не сделала, чтобы заслужить их поклонение.

00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:02,560

Если поклонение заслуженное, это уже не поклонение.

00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,270

Если бы мне приходилось что-то делать, чтобы что-то получить, я была бы одной из вас.

00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:11,650

Если люди восхваляют тебя и ничего за это не получают, не логично ли, что они могут перестать?

00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:13,190

Конечно. Ты прав.

00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,030

Мне не нужно убивать твоего брата.

00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,860

Я просто подкуплю всех дарами,

00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:19,200

чтобы они забыли о дурацкой науке.

00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,820

Я говорил не совсем об этом.

00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:23,040

Я получила, что хотела. Я тебя не слушаю.

00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,910

Вернёмся к тому, что действительно важно.

00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,080

Папа, я проиграю это дело, и ты умрёшь.

00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:32,710

Я знаю, что законы только изобрели, но твой папа должен нарушить парочку, чтобы выжить.

00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:33,710

Она права.

00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:34,960

Я скажу, что ты сбежал.

00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:37,590

Можешь немного меня растерзать и потоптать?

00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,840

Так, чтобы не было больно.

00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:40,140

Я не могу сбежать сейчас.

00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:41,680

Твой народ убьёт меня.

00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,100

Тебя убьют, если останешься.

00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:46,930

Но по закону, спасибо тебе.

00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:49,440

Пожалуйста?

00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:53,860

Кто-то в вашем городе убил коз, люди.

00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:56,860

И кто-то в вашем городе ел младенцев.

00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,860

Это не то чтобы загадка.

00:12:58,910 --> 00:13:00,740

Мне ли не знать. Я Сфинкс.

00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:01,950

Хотите услышать загадку?

00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,530

О боже. Сейчас начнётся.

00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:07,580

Кто ходит утром на четырёх ногах, днём - на двух, а вечером - на трёх?

00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,670

Человек. В младенческом возрасте он ползает, а в старости опирается на трость.

00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,040

Спасибо.

00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:15,090

- Хорошая загадка.

- Впечатляюще.

00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:18,840

Я не стану ничего говорить о загадке, она не имеет отношения к суду.

00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,720

К тому же она так себе.

00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,640

Нам понравилось.

00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,470

Она явно популярна, поэтому я ее не критикую.

00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:27,730

Но как же раздражает, когда популярны дурацкие вещи.

00:13:27,770 --> 00:13:29,100

- Ну брось.

- Ты спятил.

00:13:29,190 --> 00:13:31,270

Мы судим не загадку сфинкса, молодой человек.

00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,940

Нет, не судим. И никогда не судили.

00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,110

А возможно, стоило бы.

00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,150

Идём дальше.

00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,360

Извините. Не идём дальше.

00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,780

Я хочу знать, почему моя загадка дурацкая.

00:13:40,870 --> 00:13:41,910

Зря я это сказал.

00:13:41,950 --> 00:13:44,950

Это было грубо, я извиняюсь.

00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,040

Я просто думаю, что хорошая загадка -

00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,200

это решаемая лингвистическая задача.

00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:51,750

Например, что можно трогать, но нельзя видеть?

00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,580

Сердце.

00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:56,380

Мы можем просто признать его отца виновным?

00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,710

Ты не хочешь услышать его заключительную речь?

00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,050

Это трата времени.

00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,090

Да, ведь его время такое важное.

00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:04,448

Ты опаздываешь на свадьбу с переоценённой загадкой?

00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:11,190

Убивайцы, Делирия вернулась.

00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:14,440

И вам понравился то, что я с собой принесла.

00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:15,940

Атмосферу отчаяния?

00:14:16,030 --> 00:14:20,070

За тысячи лет на этой планете я научилась многому.

00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:24,370

Но в первую очередь тому, как вознаграждать своим поклонников.

00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:26,580

Так что не благодарите.

00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:28,870

У-у, мёд.

00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,870

Ням, ням, ням.

00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,170

Взятка? Это не ниже твоего достоинства?

00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:35,170

- Нет, если сработает.

- Не сработает.

00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:38,670

Можешь предлагать им любые дары, но они их не примут.

00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,090

Задоубивец, скажешь ей почему?

00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:42,720

Наука раскрыла нам глаза на удивительные новшества.

00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,470

Чего стоят одни только бани. Да, приятель?

00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:46,680

Не говори об этом при всех.

00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,470

Идиоты, вы правда верите в эту чушь?

00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,140

Я богиня. Я реальна.

00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:53,980

Это называется вера, мачеха.

00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,150

И она намного больше, чем ты.

00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:59,530

Но больше ли она, чем сандалии?

00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:02,320

Лопаты? Дойные коровы?

00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,110

Горы волос?

00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,740

Слава науке!

00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,450

Поговорим?

00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,120

Чего ты хочешь?

00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,830

Чтобы ты позволила звать тебя мамой.

00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,120

Что? Почему?

00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:15,790

- Это важно?

- Нет.

00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,580

Потому что этому не бывать.

00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:21,050

Именно поэтому это единственное, на что я соглашусь.

00:15:21,090 --> 00:15:23,130

Ты же знаешь, это не будет ничего значить.

00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:25,050

Ты не заставишь меня любить тебя.

00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:28,010

Мне не нужна твоя любовь. Я хочу могущества.

00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:32,430

Каждый раз, когда я буду называть тебя мамой, будет напоминанием, что я победил тебя.

00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,600

И это бесценно.

00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:39,060

Я странным образом впечатлена твоей бесчувственной расчётливостью.

00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,650

- Как я и думал.

- Ладно.

00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:45,900

Поскольку ты жаждешь могущества и проявил себя достойным соперником, я это позволю.

00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:48,070

Знаю, что позволишь, мам.

00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,030

Ух, это словно ножом по ушам.

00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:54,200

А теперь мы можем наконец уйти из этой пыльной дыры?

00:15:54,290 --> 00:15:57,210

Безусловно. Я соскучился по своей постели и лаборатории.

00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,170

Плюс, сколько бы воды у них ни было,

00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,920

эти люди пахнут как полумёртвые ондатры.

00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,720

Слава науке или типа того.

00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,510

Снюхаемся позже!

00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,850

Что ты будешь делать с потерянными поклонниками?

00:16:09,890 --> 00:16:11,050

Я не слишком переживаю.

00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:13,100

Есть чувство, что они ко мне вернуться.

00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:16,600

Я не знаю, что людям нравится, зато знаю, что не нравится:

00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:18,440

саранча!

00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,350

И если жизнь, являющуюся чередой дней, представить как один день,

00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:31,140

твоя точка зрения будет такой далёкой, что трость покажется ногой.

00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:34,810

Так что это не просто мешанина метафор, это самая лучшая загадка.

00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,270

И теперь я понимаю, почему она нравится людям.

00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,400

Довольны?

00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:42,070

Ладно, можешь начинать заключительную речь.

00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:44,110

Но ей лучше быть хорошей.

00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,280

Факт: ваших коз съели.

00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:50,740

Факт: мой папа...

00:16:50,830 --> 00:16:52,540

Ел младенцев.

00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:55,870

Хватит говорить всем, что ты ел младенцев!

00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,920

Вообще замолчи.

00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,750

Всё, что ты говоришь...

00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,590

Правда.

00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:09,220

Мой папа никогда в жизни не лгал.

00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:11,140

Уж я-то знаю.

00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:13,600

Я всю жизнь хотел бы, чтобы он это делал.

00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:18,520

А еще я всю жизнь постоянно лгал о нём.

00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:22,070

Я говорил людям, что у меня нет отца.

00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:24,360

Я стыдился его,

00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:26,110

потому что у него нет стыда.

00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,320

Это правда.

00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:29,620

Мы хотим быть хорошими.

00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:33,040

Мы хотим исправить всё плохое.

00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,910

Знаете, кто еще этого хотел?

00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,580

Эти ребята.

00:17:36,670 --> 00:17:39,250

Они бросали детей чудовищу в пасть.

00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,290

Как так вышло?

00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:43,880

Спроси мы у них, они бы ответили,

00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,380

или сказали бы, "Всё было иначе.

00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:48,180

Всё не так однозначно.

00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,390

Дети были крупнее.

00:17:49,430 --> 00:17:51,390

Это были очень опасные дети.

00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:53,180

Это надо было видеть. Поверьте мне"?

00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:55,980

Но я им не доверяю.

00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:57,890

Они слишком люди.

00:17:57,980 --> 00:17:59,650

Они хотят как лучше.

00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,650

Но они хотят слишком многого.

00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:05,190

И лгут слишком часто.

00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,990

Есть ли причины не давать ему сидеть с детьми?

00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:09,570

Да.

00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:13,200

Есть ли причины не слушать его советы по ухаживанию? Да.

00:18:13,290 --> 00:18:16,290

Когда смотришь на него, слушаешь его, когда он делает что угодно,

00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:18,870

есть ли причины испытывать отвращение?

00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,670

Возможно.

00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:23,700

Но причин не доверять ему нет.

00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,170

Он никогда не притворялся, что он лучше, чем он есть.

00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:29,970

Это делаю я. И вы.

00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:31,720

И эти ребята.

00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:36,850

Поэтому люди должны быть особо осторожны с правосудием.

00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:38,270

Мы слишком в нём хороши.

00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:41,520

И слишком часто слишком ошибаемся.

00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:44,320

Этот мужик ел младенцев.

00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,780

Но он не ел ваших коз. Спасибо.

00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:49,200

- Угу.

- Очень впечатляюще.

00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,570

Я скажу вам, что произошло.

00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:54,370

Один из этих младенцев выжил и стал моим предком.

00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:59,210

Я последний потомок ребёнка, которому удалось уцелеть.

00:18:59,290 --> 00:19:02,750

Сынок, это дело о поедании коз.

00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:03,920

Нет, идиоты!

00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000

Весь смысл убийства коз

00:19:06,090 --> 00:19:09,590

был в том, чтобы вы поняли, что приютили злобного зверя!

00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,930

Стой, хочешь сказать, это ты убил коз?

00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:13,930

Смотрите! Козы!

00:19:16,140 --> 00:19:17,220

Бежим за ним!

00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:18,270

Ловите его!

00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:20,310

Мы признаём чудовище невиновным.

00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,940

- Берите факелы!

- Да!

00:19:24,690 --> 00:19:27,280

Давай за ним.

00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,990

С правосудием закончено. Молоток я оставлю себе.

00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:31,280

Спасибо, сын.

00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,450

Пожалуйста, евший младенцев старый ублюдок.

00:19:34,730 --> 00:19:36,110

Давайте!

00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:37,650

Бейте его!

00:19:37,650 --> 00:19:39,240

Да!

00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,610

Разве им можно это делать?

00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:42,530

Разве теперь не у всех есть права?

00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:44,620

Да, у всех, кроме того парня.

00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,700

- Это тоже победа.

- Поздравляю.

00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,000

Я чувствовала, что ты невиновен.

00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,460

Ты серьёзно? Тогда какого чёрта, Бренда?

00:19:50,540 --> 00:19:51,870

- Почему?

- Я была голодна.

00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,090

И мне предложили много козьих трупов.

00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:57,340

- Эй, король Тиран, кто мудак утром...

- Да, ладно.

00:19:57,420 --> 00:19:58,670

- И вечером тоже?

- Мы поняли.

00:19:58,760 --> 00:19:59,920

- Ты.

- Да ну?

00:19:59,970 --> 00:20:01,550

Никто бы не смог догадаться.

00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,220

Кто не слышит мудака, улетая и хлопая крыльями?

00:20:04,310 --> 00:20:06,850

Бренда, сфинкс в законе!

00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:11,850

- Оу!

- Ё-моё!

00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:12,940

Вы это видели?

00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:15,610

Сфинкс пролетал у самого города.

00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,690

- Мама ее сбила!

- Мама, нет!

00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:19,990

Он такой же мой ребёнок, как и вы двое.

00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:21,280

Нет, мы не об этом.

00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:23,570

Это была... Э, мы ее знали.

00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:25,580

Возможно, она еще жива.

00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:27,490

Она издавала звуки, когда падала.

00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:30,580

Не слишком хорошие звуки, но издавала.

00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,580

Мне сходить за ней?

00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:35,840

Нет, мы все сходим за ней вместе.

00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,760

Значит, мне придётся идти за ней медленно.

00:20:42,260 --> 00:20:43,680

Ох.

00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:48,680

Дорогая, ты когда-нибудь задумывалась,

00:20:48,770 --> 00:20:51,640

как тебе повезло, что тебе не нужно умываться самой?

00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:56,110

Не нужно вылизывать подмышками, под коленями, под крыльями и под хвостом.

00:20:56,190 --> 00:20:58,110

Нет, никогда.

00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:09,540

Ты закончил?

00:21:09,580 --> 00:21:12,540

Теперь нужно начинать заново.

00:21:12,620 --> 00:21:16,080

Не странно ли, что то, что казалось тебе в возлюбленном милым,

00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:19,590

со временем превращается для тебя в вечную пытку?

00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:22,050

Мне нравится мысль о вечной любви.

00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:24,130

Тогда прекрати это.

00:21:28,060 --> 00:21:29,720

Мне тоже нравится.

00:00:04,242 --> 00:00:07,147

- Never heard of him.

- Well, you're about to.

00:00:07,147 --> 00:00:08,150

Wait, what?

00:00:08,150 --> 00:00:09,954

How insane is that?

00:00:09,954 --> 00:00:11,724

Oh, Oedipus,

Oedipus, Oedipus.

00:00:11,724 --> 00:00:13,360

Don't spoil it.

00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,195

This is nothing.

00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,297

If I lost my eyesight,

00:00:15,297 --> 00:00:17,334

I'd bump

into my mother a lot too.

00:00:17,334 --> 00:00:19,372

both:

You're reading it backwards.

00:00:19,372 --> 00:00:22,913

Ah!

Oedipus, you naughty pioneer.

00:00:22,913 --> 00:00:24,281

Hardly pioneering.

00:00:24,281 --> 00:00:26,152

This is the top half

of my family tree.

00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:28,157

Stupendous?

Incest, murder?

00:00:28,157 --> 00:00:29,894

Nah, I know the story.

00:00:29,894 --> 00:00:30,962

Sucks to be Oedipus.

00:00:30,962 --> 00:00:32,900

Sucks to be Oedipus' parents!

00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,101

- Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.

00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:36,138

You know what, guys?

I don't say this enough.

00:00:36,138 --> 00:00:38,544

We're

a relatively healthy family.

00:00:38,544 --> 00:00:39,546

all: Aww.

- I act like

00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:41,382

you guys are a burden,

and you are,

00:00:41,382 --> 00:00:44,923

but I need to appreciate

my situation for what it is:

00:00:44,923 --> 00:00:46,960

somewhat better than Oedipus.

00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,029

- Aww.

- How nice.

00:00:48,129 --> 00:00:50,433

Every goat in the city

has been partially eaten,

00:00:50,433 --> 00:00:52,438

leaving a trail of blood

to the palace gates,

00:00:52,438 --> 00:00:54,242

and the people are coming

with torches

00:00:54,242 --> 00:00:56,312

to demand

your father be killed!

00:00:56,312 --> 00:00:58,317

Maybe I'd rather be Oedipus.

00:00:58,317 --> 00:01:01,857

Not a chance, stud.

00:01:28,243 --> 00:01:30,615

- Dad, did you eat those goats?

- Of course not.

00:01:30,615 --> 00:01:33,353

I'd remember if I did.

Goats are amazing.

00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:35,457

They have those little handles

on their heads

00:01:35,457 --> 00:01:37,628

so you can just...

00:01:37,628 --> 00:01:40,266

Next time someone asks,

shorten that to "no."

00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,503

You want me to beat 'em up?

00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:44,108

Everyone?

In the entire city?

00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:45,110

Is that a challenge?

00:01:45,110 --> 00:01:47,181

If you beat everyone up,

00:01:47,181 --> 00:01:48,450

what am I the king of?

00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:50,889

- Quieter people?

- No.

00:01:50,889 --> 00:01:52,859

Angry mobs feed

on fear and violence.

00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:56,265

A smart leader dispels it

with calmness and courage.

00:01:56,265 --> 00:01:57,234

So you want me standing

00:01:57,234 --> 00:01:59,005

right behind you

or right in front of you?

00:01:59,005 --> 00:02:00,942

Is me on your shoulders

too much?

00:02:00,942 --> 00:02:03,848

crowd: Angry mob! Angry mob!

00:02:03,848 --> 00:02:05,450

Everybody, calm down!

00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:07,589

We don't wanna calm down!

We're an angry mob!

00:02:07,589 --> 00:02:09,626

You won't be

if you calm down.

00:02:09,626 --> 00:02:11,997

Well,

isn't that convenient logic?

00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:13,166

crowd: Yeah!

00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,404

My father

did not kill your goats.

00:02:15,404 --> 00:02:17,074

Can you at least

put out the torches?

00:02:17,074 --> 00:02:18,210

They're silly.

It's daytime.

00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:21,249

Look, if you're gonna be

this dismissive of our anger,

00:02:21,249 --> 00:02:24,021

don't act shocked

by our decision to be a mob!

00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:26,794

You guys,

I'm not dismissing you.

00:02:26,794 --> 00:02:29,432

Can we just talk?

- Nobody talked to my goats.

00:02:29,432 --> 00:02:31,436

crowd: Yeah!

- Or maybe they did.

00:02:31,537 --> 00:02:33,206

But it didn't help!

crowd: Yeah!

00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:34,577

My point is,

our goats are dead.

00:02:34,577 --> 00:02:36,814

crowd: Yeah!

- You're overexplaining it.

00:02:36,814 --> 00:02:38,149

crowd: Oh.

- What are you,

00:02:38,149 --> 00:02:40,020

my angry mob mentor?

crowd: Yes!

00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:41,723

Man, our city sucks.

00:02:41,723 --> 00:02:44,529

They can't even kill

one murderer together.

00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,836

Everybody, I'm going

to create a system

00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:51,544

by which you, the people,

are in charge of justice.

00:02:51,544 --> 00:02:54,115

We'll call it

"a justice system."

00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,486

I don't wanna speak

for the whole mob,

00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:59,291

but I'm willing to indulge you

because this torch is heavy!

00:02:59,291 --> 00:03:00,561

crowd: Yeah!

00:03:03,233 --> 00:03:04,736

- That was close.

- Yeah.

00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:07,474

For a moment there,

you almost spinelessly pandered

00:03:07,474 --> 00:03:10,047

to a bunch of dingholes

I could've easily killed.

00:03:10,047 --> 00:03:10,882

You don't get it.

00:03:11,015 --> 00:03:12,853

If the people are

in charge of justice,

00:03:12,853 --> 00:03:15,524

they'll have to agree

on who's guilty or innocent.

00:03:15,524 --> 00:03:17,327

Those people can't agree

on anything,

00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:18,531

so I'll just talk in circles

00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,767

until Dad gets away

with murder.

00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:23,941

You don't seriously expect me

to admire you for this, do you?

00:03:36,365 --> 00:03:39,439

Ugh, unbelievable.

00:03:39,439 --> 00:03:41,075

What are you doing?

00:03:41,075 --> 00:03:42,512

It's called science, Mom.

00:03:42,512 --> 00:03:44,716

Don't ever call me Mom.

00:03:44,716 --> 00:03:47,021

That's a word

my actual children try

00:03:47,021 --> 00:03:48,089

and use to leverage me.

00:03:48,089 --> 00:03:49,258

I tolerate it from them.

00:03:49,258 --> 00:03:50,695

I won't from you.

00:03:50,695 --> 00:03:53,300

Now what is the point

of this science?

00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,203

We can use it

to do amazing things,

00:03:55,203 --> 00:03:56,840

like give people water.

00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,142

Like this?

00:03:58,142 --> 00:04:00,013

That's also impressive.

00:04:00,013 --> 00:04:01,116

Isn't it just?

00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,819

It's called being powerful.

00:04:02,819 --> 00:04:05,625

It's why I have a temple

and why mortals worship me

00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:08,564

and why half-fish stepchildren

should know better than to ruin

00:04:08,564 --> 00:04:11,302

what was previously

a pretty solid day drunk.

00:04:11,302 --> 00:04:12,639

Powerful. Got it.

00:04:12,639 --> 00:04:14,977

Um, before you go,

could you--

00:04:14,977 --> 00:04:16,813

Invent an umbrella.

00:04:16,813 --> 00:04:19,152

Quietly.

00:04:19,152 --> 00:04:20,220

Dad?

00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,358

Dad?

00:04:22,358 --> 00:04:24,428

- Okay, grab him.

- Come on, old man.

00:04:24,428 --> 00:04:26,566

When's the last time

you fit through any window?

00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:29,338

I am not leaving

through the window.

00:04:29,338 --> 00:04:31,075

I was grabbing my weed.

00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:32,445

I'm leaving from the roof.

00:04:32,445 --> 00:04:34,449

Why leave?

I'm going to exonerate you.

00:04:34,449 --> 00:04:37,388

My boy, you're what, 30?

I'm thousands.

00:04:37,388 --> 00:04:39,592

This is how it works

with monsters and humans.

00:04:39,592 --> 00:04:42,398

I chill among you a while,

then something creepy happens,

00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:45,204

you kids grab the torches,

and Daddy bones out.

00:04:45,204 --> 00:04:46,707

It's been real.

- I have a plan.

00:04:46,707 --> 00:04:48,309

I already sold the people

on it.

00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:49,813

It's why they disbanded.

00:04:49,813 --> 00:04:53,654

You need me to put my head

on the block to save yours.

00:04:53,654 --> 00:04:55,424

Well, it sounds bad

when you say it.

00:04:55,424 --> 00:04:56,660

All right, well,

how's this sound?

00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:59,398

I'm gonna put my weed plant

up on the roof--

00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:01,035

Flight risk.

00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:02,237

Can I hang on to my weed,

00:05:02,237 --> 00:05:03,675

or is there a law

against that too?

00:05:03,675 --> 00:05:05,476

Your weed

will always be legal, Dad.

00:05:05,476 --> 00:05:07,648

I'm a tyrant,

not a crazy person.

00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:13,460

Okay, here's

how it's going to work.

00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:15,497

We're replacing

the large angry mob

00:05:15,497 --> 00:05:17,935

with a smaller, seated,

thoughtful mob.

00:05:17,935 --> 00:05:18,737

That's you guys.

00:05:18,837 --> 00:05:20,440

You'll decide

on guilt or innocence

00:05:20,541 --> 00:05:23,847

after hearing all information

from both sides.

00:05:23,847 --> 00:05:25,952

- Question.

- Not your job, but go ahead.

00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:29,459

How are you allowed to be

king and defend the killer?

00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:30,928

It seems janky.

- Janky?

00:05:30,928 --> 00:05:33,768

That's a word now?

- Are you ruling over that too?

00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,337

- Uh-huh!

- I mean, it really does

00:05:35,337 --> 00:05:37,341

seem janky.

- Okay, okay.

00:05:37,341 --> 00:05:38,678

This is not part

of the royal court.

00:05:38,678 --> 00:05:41,082

This is a separate court,

a legal court,

00:05:41,182 --> 00:05:42,351

where there is no king.

00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:43,654

So who's in charge?

00:05:43,654 --> 00:05:45,357

Well, we don't really--okay.

00:05:45,357 --> 00:05:47,896

Who is the oldest person

in the city?

00:05:47,896 --> 00:05:51,136

What? I don't wanna be

involved in this hipster crap.

00:05:51,136 --> 00:05:52,338

I'm 40!

00:05:52,338 --> 00:05:53,574

You don't even have

to do anything

00:05:53,574 --> 00:05:55,043

but sit there and be old.

00:05:55,043 --> 00:05:56,078

Just do it.

00:05:57,014 --> 00:05:57,749

Make him do it.

- Hey!

00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,285

I don't have time for this!

00:05:59,285 --> 00:06:01,222

I could die any moment!

00:06:01,222 --> 00:06:03,359

I'm 40 years old!

00:06:03,359 --> 00:06:04,663

Uh, what's this?

00:06:04,663 --> 00:06:06,499

That was left there

by a carpenter

00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,470

and clearly has nothing

to do with any...

00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:09,973

If we could get started, I'd--

- What?

00:06:09,973 --> 00:06:12,011

What do you mean "what"?

You're banging a hammer--

00:06:12,011 --> 00:06:14,550

When I feel like it?

That's what I thought.

00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:15,985

Okay, I'm into this job.

00:06:15,985 --> 00:06:19,458

I'm not into your music,

but I'm into this job.

00:06:19,458 --> 00:06:21,195

Proceed.

- All right. I'm--

00:06:21,195 --> 00:06:22,765

I'm sorry.

What's wrong with our music?

00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:25,905

It's a bunch of people

banging on drums.

00:06:25,905 --> 00:06:28,644

When I was your age,

we had to make the drums.

00:06:28,644 --> 00:06:30,046

You're five years older

than us.

00:06:30,046 --> 00:06:34,121

Everything's a number

to your generation.

00:06:36,594 --> 00:06:37,629

Aah!

00:06:37,629 --> 00:06:38,964

My bad!

00:06:38,964 --> 00:06:40,467

You've got a great story now, though.

00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:41,803

Almost never happens.

00:06:41,803 --> 00:06:43,173

When I'm sober.

00:06:43,173 --> 00:06:44,576

You're too much.

00:06:44,576 --> 00:06:45,678

I'm just enough.

00:06:45,678 --> 00:06:47,281

I could use a little more.

00:06:50,889 --> 00:06:53,226

How are you, Herm-Herms?

00:06:53,226 --> 00:06:54,729

Just runnin' and funnin'.

00:06:54,729 --> 00:06:56,666

Spreadin' words

of stuff I heard.

00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,436

Speaking of which,

so sorry to hear

00:06:58,436 --> 00:06:59,906

about all

those lost worshippers.

00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:01,643

- What do you mean?

- Oh, right.

00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:03,479

You probably haven't heard

because all the other gods

00:07:03,479 --> 00:07:05,450

have been talking about it

behind your back.

00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:06,553

The Killassians,

00:07:06,553 --> 00:07:07,989

they're worshipping

some new god.

00:07:07,989 --> 00:07:10,126

The Killassians?

Well, that's my city.

00:07:10,126 --> 00:07:11,462

They pray to me.

00:07:11,462 --> 00:07:13,399

What's the name

of this new god?

00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,269

Simon? Séance?

00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,540

Is it Science?

00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:17,976

You know him?

Introduce me.

00:07:17,976 --> 00:07:20,380

Or you could just turn

into a crow and blow me off.

00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:21,750

Bitch.

00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:33,039

Where is the fish boy?

00:07:33,574 --> 00:07:35,612

To what do we owe the honor?

00:07:35,612 --> 00:07:36,747

Playtime is over.

00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,651

Give me back my Killassians.

00:07:38,651 --> 00:07:40,722

I'm sorry, but no.

00:07:40,722 --> 00:07:43,594

It sounded like

you said "no,"

00:07:43,594 --> 00:07:45,030

but that can't be right

00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:47,802

because it would result

in your immediate death.

00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:48,737

Killassians,

00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:51,342

will you worship Deliria

if she kills me?

00:07:51,342 --> 00:07:53,714

No! Hail Science!

00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:55,818

Turns out, you don't have

to be a god to be powerful.

00:07:55,818 --> 00:07:57,321

You just have to create one.

00:07:57,321 --> 00:07:58,924

Hail Science!

00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:03,633

My life may be infinite,

but my patience is not.

00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:05,337

You may not care

if I live or die,

00:08:05,337 --> 00:08:08,476

but my dad does,

and you love him.

00:08:08,476 --> 00:08:09,846

La la la.

00:08:09,846 --> 00:08:11,884

So I guess it's time

for you to become outraged

00:08:11,884 --> 00:08:14,221

and fake a mysterious reason

to leave.

00:08:14,221 --> 00:08:15,791

I won't tolerate this

00:08:15,791 --> 00:08:20,066

because I'm late

to make love to the moon.

00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:24,141

Science demands

I take a bath,

00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:26,613

which is more fun

with a friend.

00:08:26,613 --> 00:08:28,984

All right!

00:08:32,759 --> 00:08:34,061

I don't know

if this is helpful,

00:08:34,061 --> 00:08:36,031

but depending on

when those goats were killed,

00:08:36,031 --> 00:08:38,102

I may have been

at home masturbating.

00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,808

It actually depends very little

on when they were killed.

00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:43,681

Was it in front of a crowd

of reputable witnesses?

00:08:43,681 --> 00:08:44,783

Bless your heart, son.

00:08:44,783 --> 00:08:46,285

I'm not 100 anymore.

00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:47,888

Dad, under my new system,

00:08:47,888 --> 00:08:50,226

you have the right

to say nothing.

00:08:50,226 --> 00:08:51,830

I'd like you to do that.

00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,901

If I say nothing,

won't I look guilty?

00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,238

Not as much

as if you say anything.

00:08:56,238 --> 00:08:57,341

I've got a strategy.

00:08:57,341 --> 00:08:58,476

I'm going to convince everyone

00:08:58,476 --> 00:08:59,612

you were accused

00:08:59,612 --> 00:09:02,150

simply because

you are a monster.

00:09:03,353 --> 00:09:04,455

Sorry I'm late.

00:09:04,455 --> 00:09:06,192

I walked instead of flying.

00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:08,597

Last thing this city needs

is more panic.

00:09:08,597 --> 00:09:09,932

Excuse me!

00:09:09,932 --> 00:09:12,772

We can't just have

a sphinx wandering around.

00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:16,011

The sphinx's name is Brenda,

and I'm here

00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:18,416

to represent the goat farmers

against your father.

00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:21,857

Now you can't make us

look anti-monster.

00:09:21,857 --> 00:09:24,061

Brenda, why?

This isn't who you are.

00:09:24,061 --> 00:09:26,365

You love riddles.

- I loved one.

00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:29,004

It got solved,

and we all have to eat,

00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:31,710

appropriately,

in normal quantities,

00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:33,413

with human permission.

00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,822

Everyone,

stop being loud and young!

00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:39,659

Did you have

a backup strategy?

00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:41,730

I did,

but it was basically

00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:44,334

to double down

on the first one.

00:09:45,938 --> 00:09:48,777

As a trader of pottery,

you've seen a lot of stories

00:09:48,777 --> 00:09:51,816

painted on a lot of vases,

pots, and bowls, correct?

00:09:51,816 --> 00:09:54,589

Well, of course.

That's why I got into ceramics.

00:09:54,589 --> 00:09:55,757

I'm a news junkie.

00:09:55,757 --> 00:09:57,629

And how many vases

have you seen

00:09:57,629 --> 00:09:59,732

depicting monsters

as innocent creatures?

00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:02,036

- None.

- You're laughing about that.

00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:04,642

Well, it's funny

to imagine a vase

00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:06,613

showing a monster

helping someone.

00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:08,283

Nobody would want it.

00:10:08,283 --> 00:10:12,157

"Nobody would want it."

00:10:12,157 --> 00:10:13,292

Your expert.

00:10:13,292 --> 00:10:14,729

Thank you.

00:10:14,729 --> 00:10:17,334

Do you ever keep old pottery?

00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:19,872

Well, the older a vase gets,

the less valuable.

00:10:19,872 --> 00:10:23,279

But I do keep an archive

of stories that seem important.

00:10:23,279 --> 00:10:26,252

Oh? Anything this court

might find enlightening?

00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:29,458

Well, as a matter of fact,

I sure did find something.

00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,663

This bowl is centuries old.

00:10:31,663 --> 00:10:34,001

We can't know

what region this was,

00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:37,140

but you see here a monster

that looks like the accused.

00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:40,380

And these appear

to be human babies.

00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:44,656

And then this would be

the accused eating the babies.

00:10:44,656 --> 00:10:45,791

Oh, no.

00:10:45,791 --> 00:10:48,496

Oh, that was Mesopotamia.

00:10:48,496 --> 00:10:49,599

Or Sumeria.

00:10:49,599 --> 00:10:50,801

I get them confused.

00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:52,739

One thing is for sure, though:

00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,276

I have gained weight.

00:10:59,051 --> 00:11:00,654

Why didn't you tell me

you spent

00:11:00,654 --> 00:11:02,725

part of your life

eating babies?

00:11:02,725 --> 00:11:04,028

I'm on trial

for eating goats.

00:11:04,028 --> 00:11:05,597

It hardly seemed relevant.

00:11:05,597 --> 00:11:06,700

Not to get us off track,

00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,935

but what do they taste like?

00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,171

Do not answer that!

00:11:09,171 --> 00:11:11,943

Look, I spent some time

a thousand years ago

00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:14,381

imprisoned in a pit

by a tribe of humans

00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:17,555

that refused to feed me

anything but their enemies.

00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:19,725

Who's enemies with babies?

00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,963

You know, human values

have a habit of drifting.

00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:24,101

It always starts with

"let's get rid of bad people"

00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:27,173

and somehow always ends up

with a baby pit.

00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:29,845

Oh, honey, you're back.

I missed you.

00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:31,550

- What are you doing?

- Whoops.

00:11:31,550 --> 00:11:33,921

Your loss, whoever you are.

00:11:33,921 --> 00:11:36,225

I don't care what you do

with that slutty bird.

00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:38,797

I just need you

to do me a small favor.

00:11:38,797 --> 00:11:40,834

- Anything, my love.

- Kill your son.

00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,772

Okay,

but since he's defending me,

00:11:42,772 --> 00:11:44,341

it might be a bit of an issue.

00:11:44,441 --> 00:11:46,779

Not our son, your son.

00:11:46,779 --> 00:11:48,583

I'd do it,

but you know the rules.

00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,820

"You make 'em, you kill 'em."

00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:51,022

Nobody's killing anyone.

00:11:51,122 --> 00:11:52,691

What do you think

Hippocampus did

00:11:52,691 --> 00:11:54,061

that would warrant his murder?

00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,733

He took my Killassians away

from me.

00:11:56,733 --> 00:11:58,002

So what?

It's not like

00:11:58,002 --> 00:11:59,705

you ever did anything

to earn their worship.

00:11:59,705 --> 00:12:01,442

You don't earn worship.

00:12:01,442 --> 00:12:02,511

Then it's not worship.

00:12:02,511 --> 00:12:04,683

If I had to do things

to get things,

00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,252

I'd be one of you things.

00:12:06,252 --> 00:12:08,256

Well, if people praised you

and never get anything for it,

00:12:08,256 --> 00:12:11,663

doesn't it stand to reason

that they might stop?

00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,198

Of course.

You're right.

00:12:13,198 --> 00:12:14,936

I don't have

to kill your brother.

00:12:14,936 --> 00:12:16,840

I just have

to bribe everyone with gifts

00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,078

so they forget all

about that stupid Science.

00:12:19,078 --> 00:12:20,814

That's not really

what I was saying.

00:12:20,814 --> 00:12:22,985

Got what I wanted.

Not listening.

00:12:22,985 --> 00:12:24,922

Okay, back

to what's actually important.

00:12:24,922 --> 00:12:26,760

Dad, I'm going

to lose this case,

00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,096

and you're going to die.

00:12:28,096 --> 00:12:29,799

Look, I know laws

just got invented,

00:12:29,799 --> 00:12:31,669

but I think your dad needs

to break a couple

00:12:31,669 --> 00:12:32,705

if he's gonna live.

00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:33,740

She's right.

00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:34,976

I'll tell people you escaped.

00:12:34,976 --> 00:12:37,615

Can you maul and trample me

a little?

00:12:37,615 --> 00:12:38,851

Oh, in a way that doesn't hurt.

00:12:38,851 --> 00:12:40,153

I can't run now, son.

00:12:40,153 --> 00:12:41,723

Your people would kill you.

00:12:41,723 --> 00:12:43,125

They'll kill you if you stay.

00:12:43,125 --> 00:12:46,967

But legally, thanks to you.

00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,437

You're welcome?

00:12:51,108 --> 00:12:53,880

Someone in this city

killed the goats, folks,

00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,887

and someone in your city

used to eat babies.

00:12:56,887 --> 00:12:58,890

Not exactly a riddle.

00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,794

I'd know.

I'm a sphinx.

00:13:00,794 --> 00:13:01,997

You want to hear a riddle?

00:13:01,997 --> 00:13:03,567

Oh, God.

Here she goes.

00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,236

What has four legs

in the morning,

00:13:05,336 --> 00:13:07,608

two legs at noon,

and three legs at night?

00:13:07,608 --> 00:13:11,716

Man because he crawls as a baby

and uses a cane when he's old.

00:13:11,716 --> 00:13:13,052

Thank you.

- Ooh.

00:13:13,052 --> 00:13:15,156

- That was a good riddle.

- Impressive.

00:13:15,156 --> 00:13:16,391

I'm not addressing

that riddle

00:13:16,391 --> 00:13:18,897

because it has nothing to do

with the trial.

00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,668

Also, not a great riddle.

00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:21,703

We liked her riddle.

00:13:21,703 --> 00:13:22,872

It's clearly popular,

00:13:22,872 --> 00:13:24,474

which is why

I won't criticize it,

00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:27,782

but it's frustrating

when popular things are stupid.

00:13:27,782 --> 00:13:29,017

- Come on.

- Crazy.

00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,322

The sphinx's riddle is

not on trial, young man.

00:13:31,322 --> 00:13:34,028

No, it's not

and never has been.

00:13:34,028 --> 00:13:36,164

Maybe it should've been.

00:13:36,164 --> 00:13:37,100

Moving on.

00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,436

Excuse me.

Not moving on.

00:13:38,436 --> 00:13:40,841

I want to know

what makes my riddle stupid.

00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:41,977

I shouldn't have said that.

00:13:41,977 --> 00:13:45,016

That was rude,

and I'm sorry.

00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:47,120

I just think

that a proper riddle

00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,224

is a solvable

linguistic puzzle,

00:13:49,324 --> 00:13:51,830

like, what can be touched

but not seen?

00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,834

The heart.

00:13:54,502 --> 00:13:56,472

Can we just find

his father guilty now?

00:13:56,472 --> 00:13:58,811

You don't wanna hear

his closing argument?

00:13:58,811 --> 00:14:00,113

Kind of a waste of time.

00:14:00,113 --> 00:14:01,984

Yeah, this guy's time

is so important.

00:14:02,084 --> 00:14:04,254

What are you, late to marry

an overrated riddle?

00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:11,301

Killassians,

Deliria has returned.

00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:14,542

And I think you're going

to like what I brought with me.

00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:16,078

An air of desperation?

00:14:16,078 --> 00:14:18,684

In my thousands of years

on this planet,

00:14:18,684 --> 00:14:20,186

I have learned many things,

00:14:20,186 --> 00:14:24,528

but mostly how to properly

reward my worshippers.

00:14:24,629 --> 00:14:26,700

So you're welcome.

00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,970

Ooh, honey.

00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:30,974

Yum, yum, yum.

00:14:30,974 --> 00:14:33,279

Bribery?

Isn't that beneath you?

00:14:33,279 --> 00:14:35,283

- Not if it works.

- It won't.

00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:36,753

You can offer them

anything you want,

00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:38,657

but they won't take it.

00:14:38,657 --> 00:14:40,026

Asskill, wanna tell her why?

00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:42,865

Science has opened our eyes

to amazing new concepts.

00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,602

I mean, the baths alone.

00:14:44,602 --> 00:14:45,604

Right, bath buddy?

00:14:45,604 --> 00:14:46,740

Not in front of people.

00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:49,613

You idiots really believe

this nonsense?

00:14:49,613 --> 00:14:52,283

I'm a god. I'm real.

00:14:52,283 --> 00:14:54,121

It's called faith, Stepmother,

00:14:54,121 --> 00:14:56,291

and it's much bigger than you.

00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:59,699

But is it bigger

than sandals?

00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,470

Shovels? Dairy cows?

00:15:02,470 --> 00:15:04,240

Piles of hair?

00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,879

All hail Science!

00:15:06,879 --> 00:15:08,617

Shall we talk?

00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,253

What do you want?

00:15:10,253 --> 00:15:12,992

I want you

to let me call you Mom.

00:15:12,992 --> 00:15:14,294

What? Why?

00:15:14,294 --> 00:15:15,964

- Does it matter?

- No.

00:15:15,964 --> 00:15:17,768

Because it's never going

to happen.

00:15:17,768 --> 00:15:18,904

Which is exactly why

00:15:18,904 --> 00:15:21,208

it's the only thing

I will accept.

00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:23,312

You do realize

it won't mean anything.

00:15:23,312 --> 00:15:25,249

You can't make me love you.

00:15:25,249 --> 00:15:27,053

Pfft, I don't want your love.

00:15:27,053 --> 00:15:28,222

I want power.

00:15:28,222 --> 00:15:30,493

You see,

every time I call you Mom,

00:15:30,493 --> 00:15:32,631

you'll know I beat you.

00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,802

That's worth everything.

00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:36,706

I am strangely impressed

00:15:36,706 --> 00:15:39,244

by your cold,

unfeeling calculations.

00:15:39,244 --> 00:15:40,680

- I thought you might be.

- Fine.

00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,252

Because you are power-hungry

and have proven yourself

00:15:43,252 --> 00:15:46,125

a worthy adversary,

I will allow you this.

00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:48,195

I know you will, Mom.

00:15:48,195 --> 00:15:51,268

Ooh, it's like being stabbed

in the ears.

00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:54,441

Now can we finally get out

of this dusty hellhole?

00:15:54,441 --> 00:15:57,447

Absolutely.

I miss my bed and my lab.

00:15:57,447 --> 00:15:59,384

Plus, no matter

how much water they get,

00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:03,258

these people still smell

like half-dead muskrats.

00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,964

All hail Science or whatever.

00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,734

Smell ya later!

00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,072

What are you gonna do about

all your lost worshippers?

00:16:10,072 --> 00:16:11,275

Well, I'm not too worried.

00:16:11,275 --> 00:16:13,145

I have a feeling

they'll find their way back.

00:16:13,145 --> 00:16:14,916

I might not know

what humans like,

00:16:14,916 --> 00:16:16,820

but I know what they don't:

00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,690

locusts!

00:16:23,633 --> 00:16:26,005

And if a lifetime,

which is a series of days,

00:16:26,005 --> 00:16:27,207

looks like a single day,

00:16:27,307 --> 00:16:30,981

your perspective is so distant

that a cane would be a leg,

00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:33,119

so it's not just

a jumble of metaphors.

00:16:33,119 --> 00:16:34,655

It's the best riddle ever,

00:16:34,655 --> 00:16:37,093

and I now understand

why people like it.

00:16:37,093 --> 00:16:38,496

Good enough?

00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,937

All right, you may begin

your closing argument,

00:16:41,937 --> 00:16:43,973

but it better be good.

00:16:43,973 --> 00:16:47,146

your goats were eaten.

00:16:47,146 --> 00:16:50,621

my dad...

00:16:50,621 --> 00:16:52,390

Ate babies.

00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:55,764

Stop telling everyone

you ate babies!

00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,735

Stop talking.

00:16:57,735 --> 00:17:00,607

Everything you say is...

00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:04,481

True.

00:17:04,582 --> 00:17:09,090

My father has never lied

in his life.

00:17:10,059 --> 00:17:11,028

I should know.

00:17:11,028 --> 00:17:13,499

I grew up wishing he would.

00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:18,309

I also grew up

constantly lying about him.

00:17:18,309 --> 00:17:21,949

I told people

I didn't have a father.

00:17:21,949 --> 00:17:24,254

I was ashamed of him

00:17:24,254 --> 00:17:26,057

because he's shameless.

00:17:26,157 --> 00:17:27,227

It's true.

00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:29,532

We want to be good.

00:17:29,532 --> 00:17:32,972

We want

to set wrong things right.

00:17:33,072 --> 00:17:34,842

You know who else wanted that?

00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:36,513

These guys.

00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:39,184

Chucking babies

into a monster's mouth.

00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,221

What happened here?

00:17:41,221 --> 00:17:43,760

If we asked these humans,

would they tell us,

00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,331

or would they say,

"It didn't happen that way.

00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,136

"There's more to it than that.

00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:49,303

"The babies were bigger.

00:17:49,303 --> 00:17:51,175

"They were

very dangerous babies.

00:17:51,175 --> 00:17:53,111

You had to be there.

Trust me"?

00:17:53,111 --> 00:17:55,884

Well, I don't trust them.

00:17:55,884 --> 00:17:57,821

They're too human.

00:17:57,821 --> 00:17:59,592

They mean too well.

00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:01,596

And they want too much.

00:18:01,596 --> 00:18:05,136

And they lie too often.

00:18:05,236 --> 00:18:07,941

Is there a reason

not to let this guy babysit?

00:18:07,941 --> 00:18:09,545

Yep.

00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:13,151

Are there reasons not to take

his grooming advice? Yes.

00:18:13,151 --> 00:18:14,822

When you look at him,

listen to him,

00:18:14,822 --> 00:18:16,225

or watch him do anything,

00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:18,864

is it reasonable

to be disgusted?

00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,634

Maybe.

00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:23,607

But there's no reason

to mistrust him.

00:18:23,607 --> 00:18:27,113

He's never pretended

to be better than he is.

00:18:27,113 --> 00:18:29,919

That's me.

That's you.

00:18:29,919 --> 00:18:31,689

That's these guys.

00:18:31,689 --> 00:18:36,833

That's why humans have to be

extra careful about justice.

00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,236

We're too good at it.

00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:41,542

And too wrong, too often.

00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:44,280

This guy ate babies.

00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,753

He didn't eat your goats.

Thank you.

00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:49,424

- Mm-hmm.

- Very impressive.

00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:50,527

I'll tell you

what happened here.

00:18:50,527 --> 00:18:54,367

One of these babies survived

and sired my ancestors.

00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:59,177

I am the last descendant

of the Baby That Got Away.

00:18:59,177 --> 00:19:02,752

Son,

this is a goat-eating trial.

00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:03,920

No, you idiots!

00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,024

The whole point

of killing the goats

00:19:06,024 --> 00:19:07,293

was to make you understand

00:19:07,293 --> 00:19:09,430

you're sheltering

an evil beast!

00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:12,905

Wait, are you saying

you killed our goats?

00:19:12,905 --> 00:19:13,940

Look! Goats!

00:19:16,078 --> 00:19:17,180

- Let's go!

- Let's get him!

00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:18,282

- Come on!

- Get him!

00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,353

We find the monster innocent.

00:19:20,453 --> 00:19:21,956

Get the torches!

- Yeah!

00:19:24,695 --> 00:19:27,300

Go get him.

00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,005

Justice is hereby over.

Keeping the hammer.

00:19:30,005 --> 00:19:31,275

Thank you, son.

00:19:31,275 --> 00:19:34,481

You're welcome,

you baby-eating old bastard.

00:19:34,481 --> 00:19:35,951

Come on!

00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:37,453

Get him!

00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:39,057

Yeah!

00:19:39,057 --> 00:19:40,426

Should they be doing that?

00:19:40,426 --> 00:19:42,363

Doesn't everybody

have rights now?

00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:44,467

Yeah, everybody but that guy.

00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,438

Let's take the win.

- Congratulations.

00:19:46,438 --> 00:19:47,708

I had a feeling

you were innocent.

00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:50,313

Are you serious?

Then what the hell, Brenda?

00:19:50,313 --> 00:19:51,716

Why?

- I was hungry.

00:19:51,716 --> 00:19:53,921

And they offered me

a lot of goat carcasses.

00:19:53,921 --> 00:19:54,923

Hey, King Tyrannis,

00:19:55,056 --> 00:19:57,193

what's a dick in the morning...

- Yep, that's okay.

00:19:57,193 --> 00:19:58,763

- And then at night?

- We get it.

00:19:58,763 --> 00:19:59,798

- You.

- Oh, wow.

00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:01,434

Good thing you followed

all the way through.

00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,074

What can't hear a dick

over the sound of it leaving?

00:20:04,074 --> 00:20:06,679

Brenda the Legal Sphinx!

00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,953

Aah!

00:20:09,953 --> 00:20:11,890

both: Whoa!

- Holy!

00:20:11,890 --> 00:20:12,791

Did you see that?

00:20:12,791 --> 00:20:15,463

Sphinx flying

just outside the city.

00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:17,567

- Mom got it!

- Mom, no!

00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:19,872

Oh, he's just as much

my child as you two.

00:20:19,872 --> 00:20:21,174

No, not that.

00:20:21,174 --> 00:20:23,478

That was, uh--

we knew her.

00:20:23,478 --> 00:20:25,482

Well, she may be alive.

00:20:25,482 --> 00:20:27,253

She was making sounds

going down.

00:20:27,253 --> 00:20:30,459

Not good sounds,

but not no sounds.

00:20:30,459 --> 00:20:32,496

Do I have to go and get her?

00:20:32,496 --> 00:20:35,703

No, we'll all

go get her together.

00:20:35,703 --> 00:20:38,609

So I have

to go get her slowly.

00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:43,553

Ugh.

00:20:46,726 --> 00:20:48,563

I say, darling,

do you ever think

00:20:48,563 --> 00:20:51,569

how lucky you are that you

don't have to bathe yourself?

00:20:51,569 --> 00:20:54,842

No washing your armpits

or legpits or wingpits

00:20:54,842 --> 00:20:56,011

or your tailpit?

00:20:56,011 --> 00:20:58,014

Can't say that I have.

00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,337

Have you quite finished?

00:21:09,337 --> 00:21:12,443

Well, now I have

to start again.

00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:13,814

Isn't it strange

00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,017

how the things you once

found cute in a lover

00:21:16,017 --> 00:21:19,525

become the very things that

end up torturing you forever?

00:21:19,525 --> 00:21:21,996

Well, I like the idea

of being loved forever.

00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:24,066

Then stop that.

00:21:28,008 --> 00:21:29,678

I like it too.

00:21:31,115 --> 00:21:32,551

Did you get any of that?

00:21:35,089 --> 00:21:36,625

Bento.