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Один из мирных жителей придумал штаны, над которыми насмехаются другие. Шлуб просит Тиранниса помочь разрешить ситуацию в баре с мирными жителями. Тем временем Гиппокамп охотится на бушующего Монстадона, где встречает Дафну, и они оказываются запертыми под землей. Теперь им предстоит выбраться из пещеры и убить Монстадона. В то же время Ступендус присоединяется к своим друзьям в походе к вершинам Олигиртоса за шлемом Япета, и за ней следует Делирия, замаскированная под женщину по имени Сьюзен, которая утверждает, что является подругой Ступендус. Она завоевывает расположение отряда Ступендус и вскоре вступает в конфликт с Япетом, когда члены отряда, сами того не зная, освобождают его из заточения.

Подземелья и Делирия

Dungeons and Deliria
Сезон: 01Серия: 09

Описание

Один из мирных жителей придумал штаны, над которыми насмехаются другие. Шлуб просит Тиранниса помочь разрешить ситуацию в баре с мирными жителями. Тем временем Гиппокамп охотится на бушующего Монстадона, где встречает Дафну, и они оказываются запертыми под землей. Теперь им предстоит выбраться из пещеры и убить Монстадона. В то же время Ступендус присоединяется к своим друзьям в походе к вершинам Олигиртоса за шлемом Япета, и за ней следует Делирия, замаскированная под женщину по имени Сьюзен, которая утверждает, что является подругой Ступендус. Она завоевывает расположение отряда Ступендус и вскоре вступает в конфликт с Япетом, когда члены отряда, сами того не зная, освобождают его из заточения.

Субтитры

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DEFAULT__DEFAULT.srt

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Потому что я пьяница.

00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,110

За пьянство!

00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:08,610

Хотите шутку?

00:00:08,650 --> 00:00:12,490

Почему единороги всегда заходят в ванну задом?

00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:19,960

Друг, расскажи нам о своей новой смелой нижней человеческой одежде.

00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,420

Я назвал это "штаны".

00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,420

Как будто у каждой ноги есть своя тога.

00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:25,420

Превосходно. За штаны!

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Он мне нравится.

00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,050

Тогда я угощаю.

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- Ладно, но...

- Что?

00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,840

Твой друг так и останется в своей шуточной смешной одежде?

00:00:32,930 --> 00:00:36,220

Потому что все закончили смеяться, и...

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Они не просто смешные. Они практичные. Смотрите.

00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,310

Если я что-то уроню...

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Мы не наклоняемся прилюдно.

00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:44,560

Но это правило придумано для тог.

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- Подумайте.

- Ты подумай!

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Да!

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Есть предложение: давайте все перестанем думать как одна команда и выпьем.

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Ты нарушаешь порядок. Сними их или уходи.

00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:56,530

- Мне снять штаны?

- Нет, нет.

00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,540

Мне всё равно, как ты их называешь.

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Ты можешь быть голым, как животное,

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или одетым в тогу, как человек, если хочешь здесь выпивать.

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Я хочу здесь выпивать.

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И я буду делать это в штанах.

00:01:09,590 --> 00:01:10,880

Знаете что?

00:01:11,010 --> 00:01:13,380

Это заведение только что потеряло меня

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и концовку моей шутки про единорога.

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Которая, уверяю вас, была восхитительно эротичной и немного расистской.

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Еще двое граждан съедены за стенами.

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МонстадОном.

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Снова?

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Разве монстадоны не должны есть странствующих людей?

00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:58,510

Возможно, они заметили, что люди перестали странствовать.

00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,180

Рад, что хоть кто-то приспособился к современной жизни.

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Колосса, окажи братану услугу.

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Убей монстадона.

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Сегодня не могу. У меня дело.

00:02:05,770 --> 00:02:06,600

Дело?

00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:09,480

Многие люди говорят своим начальникам, что у них за дела.

00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:14,150

Ладно, я должна расплющить голову голыми руками после еще одного вопроса.

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Не буду задерживать.

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Мою голову ты не расплющишь.

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- Что за дело?

- Тебя не касается.

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И если превратишься и последуешь за мной, я замечу.

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Ты не настолько интригующая.

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Не льсти себе.

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Мам, можешь разобраться с монстадоном?

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Возможно.

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У меня есть дело.

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Интригующая сучка.

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Я буду рад поохотиться на монстодона.

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Какой трус пошлёт своего альтернативно одарённого брата на бой с чудовищем?

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Занятой трус?

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- Разве я занят?

- Сын.

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Моему человеческому другу только что отказали в обслуживании из-за его одежды.

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Правда? Похоже, не всех чудовищ можно сразить оружием в лесу.

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Да, ты срази этого.

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А я возьму оружие и пойду в лес.

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Командная работа.

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Ладно...

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- Вот они, штаны.

- Они? Их несколько?

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Знаете, что это напоминает?

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Помните того эфиопского чела и его непонятную тунику?

00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:06,830

- Рубашка.

- Рубашка!

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Это как перевёрнутая рубашка для задницы.

00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:10,500

Так в чём проблема?

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Нас заставили уйти из бара!

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Ты хоть раз уходил из бара добровольно?

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Тоже верно. Не могу знать.

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Не хочу показаться грубым.

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Можно спросить, что ты делаешь, когда нужно выпустить кракена?

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Я стягиваю их.

00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:24,010

Стягиваешь их?

00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,640

Но в таком случае, когда ты присаживаешься, это...

00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,890

Слушай, извини.

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Ты не обязан защищаться или объясняться.

00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,150

Крапополис - свободный город.

00:03:32,190 --> 00:03:33,400

Правильно, сын.

00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,440

Так что поговори с баром.

00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:37,320

Чего ты хочешь, чтобы я принял закон?

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Я ничего не хочу.

00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,450

Я аполитичный.

00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,410

Но это единственный бар.

00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:42,740

Закон? Было бы отлично.

00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,660

Да, все всегда так думают.

00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,540

Но свобода - это палка о двух концах.

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Или туника для задницы о двух рукавах.

00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:50,580

Ты можешь носить, что хочешь.

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А бар обслуживает, кого хочет.

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Все винят в результате меня, а у меня есть свой повар.

00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,380

Это неплохая система.

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Рад знакомству. Штаны клёвые.

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Они спасли меня от охоты на страшное чудовище.

00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:04,010

Если ты не любишь единорогов, но любишь содомию,

00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,600

у меня есть для тебя шутка.

00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,440

Приятель, ну ты и урод.

00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:17,650

И это я тебе говорю.

00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:19,320

Какого?..

00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,080

Ты та древесная красотка с кошмарной вечеринки.

00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,240

Смотрите предыдущую серию с поддержкой блокчейна.

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У нас в лесу есть порядок.

00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,540

Нельзя просто убивать то, что нам неприятно.

00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:34,960

Я не думаю, что твой друг в курсе этих правил.

00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,590

Он не убивает. Он питается.

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А еда разделяет эту точку зрения?

00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:44,140

Потом расскажешь.

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Ты живой.

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Не благодаря природе.

00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:05,410

Кажется, он не знает, что ты за него.

00:05:05,450 --> 00:05:07,780

- Повзрослей.

- И не подумаю!

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Всем привет.

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Привет великому герою!

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Сварливая, острая на язык и предельно едкая ошеломИсса.

00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:27,010

Вы забыли "нетерпеливая".

00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:30,140

В следующий раз давайте покороче. Какой у нас сегодня приключение?

00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,770

Ошеломисса?

00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:32,680

Приключение?

00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:33,480

Герой?

00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,980

Иди отсюда, ты прыгаешь выше рогов.

00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:41,440

Итак, мы отправляемся к пикам олийИртос

00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:44,150

в поисках легендарного шлема япЕта.

00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,350

- Ура!

- Да!

00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:51,200

Это было возле той оленихи, которая стоит у кучи пепла.

00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:53,290

Кажется, за мной проследили.

00:05:53,370 --> 00:05:55,000

Встретимся у ледяных пещер.

00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,040

Идите.

00:05:58,370 --> 00:06:00,870

Я говорила тебе этого не делать.

00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:04,580

Почему ты геройствуешь под ненастоящим именем?

00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:08,210

Если это побег от реальности, почему твой персонаж не женственный и опрятный?

00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:10,050

Я могу сделать тебя такой.

00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:12,510

Я предлагаю тебе с переходного возраста.

00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,840

Я сбегаю от тебя, мама!

00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:16,970

Я не против быть известной как твоя дочь.

00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:20,640

Но я не хочу, чтобы все мои достижения связывали с твоим именем.

00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:24,480

Очень жаль! Почему по-твоему боги заводят детей?

00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,520

Они бухие и похотливые.

00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:27,940

То есть зачем мы их оставляем?

00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:30,940

Они могут стать героями и поводом для гордости.

00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:33,740

Но ты, как оказалось, делаешь это втайне от меня?

00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,740

Что ж, с днём твоего рождения меня.

00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:38,950

Если ты не можешь поддержать что-то, не касающееся тебя,

00:06:38,990 --> 00:06:40,540

то у меня нет причин быть твоей дочерью.

00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,120

Ну угадай что?

00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,460

Если ты не возьмёшь меня с собой и не дашь доказать твою неправоту,

00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:48,880

я прослежу, чтобы все в мире знали, что я твоя мать.

00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:52,340

Это самое унизительное противостояние в моей жизни.

00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,590

Ладно, за мной действительно проследили.

00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,600

Но всё нормально, это была...

00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,350

Ох. Моя подруга СьЮзан.

00:07:02,390 --> 00:07:05,520

Привет, я Сьюзан, шутница.

00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,940

Я люблю есть еду, пить жидкости, вдыхать и выдыхать.

00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,960

Правда она нечто?

00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,630

Комментарии в сделку не входили, Сьюзан.

00:07:32,710 --> 00:07:34,800

Мы никто без Ошеломиссы.

00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,800

Странный вопрос: это не заставляет вас ее ненавидеть?

00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,590

Ненавидеть? Мы команда!

00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:43,640

Но от этого вам не хочется сделать что-нибудь тайком без нее?

00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,600

Эй, Сьюзан, у тебя обычная голова.

00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:48,350

Она перестанет говорить, если я ее пробью.

00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:49,650

- Оу.

- Ё-моё.

00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:52,820

Это не мое дело, но не думаю, что она это заслужила.

00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:56,280

Она чуть ли не прославляет то, какая она скромная и обычная.

00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,400

Что я нахожу свежим.

00:07:57,490 --> 00:07:59,450

Может, пойдём? Впереди долгий путь.

00:07:59,490 --> 00:08:01,700

Да, и мы не можем летать.

00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:03,790

Здесь холодно, верно?

00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:04,790

Бррр!

00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:06,660

Нам холодно, когда вокруг лёд.

00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,210

Я уверена, что это так.

00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,960

Сьюзан, ты прелесть.

00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,750

- Безусловно.

- Ага, она такая.

00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,300

Стой. Мой факел догорел.

00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:20,470

Тебя, должно быть, расстраивает, что здесь нечего сжечь.

00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:21,510

Я вижу в темноте, за мной.

00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:23,180

Ладно, но...

00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,430

Ты плачешь?

00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,560

Нет.

00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,270

Я тоже это слышал.

00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:31,270

Думаю, это уродливый ветер или грустный сталагмит.

00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,770

Ты боишься темноты.

00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,980

Мы, учёные, зовём это теорией.

00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:37,240

Удачи ее доказать.

00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,360

Что за червь?

00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,110

Это часть природного мира. Его не надо рубить, чтобы он светился.

00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,910

Но тебе он не нужен, так что...

00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:44,870

Оставь червя! Оставь червя!

00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:47,410

- Как учёные зовут это?

- Издевательство.

00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:51,120

Стоять! Разойтись!

00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:52,130

Что такое?

00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:54,130

Мужик в штанах пытался вернуться в бар!

00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:55,420

Я люблю прибухнуть!

00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,210

И я ношу штаны!

00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,800

Так, во-первых, толпы в этом городе разъяряются по любому поводу.

00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,760

Похоже, вы знаете, что я прав!

00:09:03,850 --> 00:09:05,350

Папа?

00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:07,470

Вы защищаете мужика в штанах?

00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,480

- У мужика в штанах есть имя.

- А у меня нет?

00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,230

Я узнаю твое, когда ты узнаешь его.

00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:12,350

И как его?

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Э... это неважно.

00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:15,310

Просто расходитесь.

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Да и плевать!

00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,820

Да, ворчите, ворчите.

00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,640

Я худший царь. Будто проблема во мне.

00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:20,900

Спасибо за жестокий урок, кстати.

00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:23,780

Лучше бы я дрался с монстадоном.

00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,240

Это та же пещера.

00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,450

Не та же.

00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,200

Дафни, это не просто издёвка.

00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:30,660

Я пометил камень, видишь?

00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:32,460

Я слабею.

00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:33,670

Мы далеко от деревьев.

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Они дают тебе силу, да?

00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,340

Что? Ты не должен этого знать.

00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:39,050

Я исследую и узнаю.

00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,300

Никто не должен знать ничего.

00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,720

Я не должен ходить.

00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,800

Слабые не должны быть сильными.

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Я должен сосать водоросли на камне в...

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В темноте.

00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,600

Порядок природы несправедлив.

00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,310

Я сделаю устройство, с которым ты сможешь покинуть лес.

00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,900

Лес покидает меня.

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Ваш город пожирает деревья, оставляя после себя дерьмо.

00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:00,320

И ты не исследовал монстадона,

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или знал бы, что его можно отпугнуть мочой гигантского скорпиона.

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Моча гигантского скорпиона, конечно!

00:10:08,450 --> 00:10:10,620

Природа едва ли устраивает взрывы?

00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,710

Я мог бы расколоть камень в самом низу.

00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:13,870

Пробовал эти грибы?

00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:18,790

Нет, спасибо. Я многое принимаю, чтобы не терять фокус, и мне не стоит их смешивать.

00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,130

Нет, они взрываются, если поджечь.

00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:24,380

Мы говорим человеческим детям, что это конфеты. Это смешно.

00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:27,510

Убийство детей... Да, я вижу, что в этом смешного.

00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,060

Мои стрелы сделаны их кремня.

00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:33,180

Нам нужно много грибов и какое-нибудь липкое вещество.

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Это у меня есть.

00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,600

Точнее, есть на мне от природы.

00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,440

Держать тебя за руку было мерзко.

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Это мое репродуктивное желе.

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Ты привыкнешь, мама.

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- Извини, что?

- Шучу.

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Это в основном слизь.

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Гарпии!

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Опять?

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Мы же не лезли в их гнездо и не убивали их.

00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:58,540

А нет, стойте. Вообще-то, мы это сделали. Забыл.

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- Ура!

- Как здорово!

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Мне не терпится рассказать моим человеческим родителям об этом приключении!

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Вы все делитесь своими достижениями со своими семьями,

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или вы несколько эгоистичные и замкнутые?

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- Что?

- Ты зовёшь это поддержкой?

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Мне сейчас тоже совсем нелегко.

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Ты знаешь, как сильно я притворяюсь, что мои ноги болят?

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О нет!

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Еще гарпии!

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- Стой, что?

- Мы идём!

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Они нападают на Сьюзан!

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Ты не станешь.

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Стала. Ты убьёшь Сьюзан, потому что хочешь безраздельного внимания.

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Или Сьюзан в порядке, потому что этого хочешь ты.

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Мы уже близко! Держитесь!

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Поздно.

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Ее больше нет!

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Помогите!

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- Нет!

- Сьюзан, нет!

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Она мне очень, очень, очень нравилась!

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Да, она понимала риск.

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Похороним ее по-геройски.

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Сьюзан ненавидела похороны.

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Она хотела, чтобы после смерти все забыли, что она когда-либо жила, и продолжили приключение.

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Я думал позвать ее на свидание.

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Я заметил. Она была попроще тех,

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за кем ты обычно гоняешься, но ты всегда был саморазрушительным.

00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:15,230

Моя мама была сильной личностью.

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Да, и мы ищем похожих на мам, потому что хотим всё повторить и исправить.

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И относимся к женщинам как к мусору, потому что мы дети.

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Настоящий мужчина, уверенный и зрелый мужчина, женится на Сьюзан и боготворит ее.

00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,200

Мы сделаем это сегодня.

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Помолимся у алтаря нашей богине Сьюзан!

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Сьюзан!

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Вот ты где.

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Да уж, эти идиоты реально хотят, чтобы ты снял штаны.

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А что насчёт вас?

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У меня нет слов, насколько мне всё равно.

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Расскажу тебе секрет.

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Я основал город не из уважения к людям.

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Будь для меня работа получше и побезопаснее,

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на которой можно меньше общаться людьми, меня бы тут не было.

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От мысли о том, что чьи-то штаны могут стоить мне всего...

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То есть не только мне, всему городу, жизням людей.

00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,570

Это просто нелепо!

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Это бессмыслица!

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Ты согласен, да? Это бессмы...

00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:07,910

Где мужик в штанах?

00:13:07,990 --> 00:13:08,910

Был здесь, но...

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Ты что-то ему сказал?

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Ну, ничего нового.

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Ты знаешь мою позицию.

00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:13,870

У тебя ее нет.

00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:15,000

Это тоже позиция.

00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,080

Спорить не стану.

00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,500

Ты мне всегда за это нравился.

00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,500

Ладно, идём на поиски, пока его не убили.

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Мужик в штанах!

00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:28,550

Мы собрались почтить память Сьюзан, что не было моей идеей.

00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:32,850

Она была более властной, чем люди думали, и держалась за эту власть обеими руками.

00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:38,140

Она была так помешана на контроле, что я в шоке от того, что она лежит и не перебивает.

00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:41,610

- Уф.

- В чёрном юморе не должно быть больше юмора?

00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:45,400

Да, цель обычно не в том чтобы принизить усопшего.

00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,570

Угадайте что?

00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,280

Я знала настоящую Сьюзан, а вы нет.

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Так что дайте мне выговориться, или следующие похороны будут вашими.

00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:53,740

- Можно и так.

- Справедливо.

00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:54,910

Да, да. Хорошо.

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Уверен, что это сработает?

00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,580

Это одна из двух вероятностей.

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А вторая?

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Нас завалит горой обломков.

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Ну, по крайней мере я умру с другом.

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С червём? У него даже лица нет!

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А, ты про меня.

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Это... мило.

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На заметку, лучше бы мы с тобой выжили.

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Очевидно, я тоже предпочту это.

00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:18,230

Ладно, поехали.

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- Нам удалось!

- Сколько света!

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Я люблю природу!

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Я люблю науку!

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- Природа!

- Наука!

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- Природа!

- Наука!

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Монстадон!

00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,330

Вот он.

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Похоже, что он предпочёл свободу.

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Наверно, урок тут в том, что если дать время, многие проблемы решатся сами собой.

00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:55,930

А однажды она оставила меня на плоту - и под плотом я имею в виду кусок дерева -

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чтобы пойти на подводную оргию во дворце Посейдона.

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Веселишься?

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Сьюзан жива!

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Сьюзан, я люблю тебя!

00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:05,860

Но почему нет крови?

00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:10,940

По той же причине, почему у тебя нет шансов нескладный тупица. Я олимпийская богиня.

00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,780

А также мать этой неблагодарной бестолочи,

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и это судя по всему худшее, что с ней когда-либо случалось!

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Э, да.

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И ты когда-нибудь забудешь про случай с Посейдоном?

00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,750

Что я должна была сделать? Взять ребёнка на оргию?

00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:27,590

Она была под водой!

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Я предупреждала.

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Я больше никогда с тобой не заговорю.

00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:32,420

Уходи!

00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:35,720

Подождите, в нашем отряде искателей приключений есть богиня?

00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,050

Она не в нашем отряде.

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Разве что вам бы этого хотелось.

00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:40,570

Что?

00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:43,890

Но дочь не хочет меня видеть, так что вам придётся выбрать.

00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:44,900

- Что?

- Тебя.

00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:46,560

- Мы выбираем тебя!

- Я люблю тебя!

00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:47,900

Вы худшие!

00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,730

Мы тебя поняли.

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И вопреки твоей траурной речи, у меня есть чувства.

00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,070

Ты такая злая!

00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:57,300

Я согласен с твоей мамой. Ты плохая дочь.

00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,490

- Да, но тебе нельзя это говорить.

- Да, мэм.

00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:06,240

Это было так просто.

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Не верится, что твоя дочь нарочно выбирала трудный путь.

00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:11,750

- Обрекая себя на неудачу.

- Я негодую.

00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,920

Мы могли всё это время приключаться с Делирией.

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Да, хорошая новость: мне всё даётся проще.

00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:19,210

Плохая новость: заскучать мне тоже проще.

00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,300

Давайте заканчивать.

00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:24,180

Хм, ты и Ошеломисса очень похожи в этом отношений.

00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:27,010

Можешь своей магией вжикнуть оттуда тот шлем?

00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,470

Ох.

00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,510

Вжик.

00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:35,730

Мы это сделали. Ура. Вернёмся домой и больше никогда не будем это повторять.

00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:37,310

Нет, продолжим путь.

00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,190

Впереди может быть больше приключений.

00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,990

Ты что, впервые в приключении?

00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:47,490

Да что я тебе говорю. Ты идёшь с нами?

00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:50,910

Я пошла на это, только чтобы провести время со своей идиотской дочерью.

00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,250

И теперь я застряла с вами, ее еще более идиотскими друзьями.

00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,170

Которые буквально бросили ее, и глазом не...

00:17:05,970 --> 00:17:07,260

Эй, Делирия!

00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:11,920

Помнишь, как ты и твои олимпийские дружки заточили меня тысячи лет назад?

00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:12,970

япЕт?

00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,180

Что здесь делает титан?

00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:16,100

Это нормально, когда такое случается?

00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:18,060

Нет! Я не знаю, что это!

00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,400

Боже правый!

00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:23,110

Все смертные изнутри такие?

00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,070

Да, в целом всё так же.

00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,610

А теперь твоя очередь.

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Со мной такого раньше не бывало, клянусь.

00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:36,210

Ты и остальные ублюдочные олимпийцы погребли меня в яме на веки вечные!

00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,460

Причём яма была так себе!

00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,420

Это были все другие олимпийцы!

00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:44,210

Я пыталась им помешать. Я говорила: "Ребята, нет, это не круто. Япет лучший".

00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:46,050

- Ложь!

- Ну да, очевидно.

00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:48,180

Будто ты был бы честен в моей ситуации.

00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:53,060

Я всегда считала тебя красивым. Не в традиционном смысле.

00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,060

Но для ужасного титана ты на десять из десяти!

00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,480

Ты вернулась спасти меня!

00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,320

Как и положено эпическим героям из легенд.

00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,650

О, и все твои друзья мертвы.

00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,860

Ты стоишь на том, что от них осталось.

00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,460

Всё, у меня больше нет идей.

00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:20,630

Нужно вернуть его обратно в яму и посыпать сверху магической грязью.

00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:23,340

Она зачарована весить, как целый мир.

00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:25,210

Только так можно поймать титана.

00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,220

Да-да, магическая грязь.

00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:29,220

Мне нужно что-то попрочнее.

00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:32,180

Я могла бы наколдовать тебе... У-у!

00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,820

Вот как побеждают титанов.

00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:45,980

Мы это сделали!

00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,320

Ну, в основном ты.

00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,450

Пошли домой.

00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:51,870

Наверное это из-за сотрясения, но я очень тобой горжусь.

00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,120

Мы хорошая команда.

00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,410

Мы не станем это повторять.

00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,200

Нет, ни за что на свете.

00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,330

Эй, моча скорпиона!

00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,590

И я не стал прибивать ее к дереву.

00:19:03,670 --> 00:19:04,790

Здорово.

00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,340

Но это ничего не изменит.

00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:09,050

Лес должен убить город или погибнуть, пытаясь.

00:19:09,090 --> 00:19:10,840

Я это уважаю!

00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:12,430

Я уважаю тебя.

00:19:12,510 --> 00:19:13,890

До свидания.

00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:15,390

Пока.

00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:20,890

Надо же!

00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:28,110

С сегодняшнего дня я ношу штаны.

00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,200

Еще я буду принимать новые законы, которые вам не понравятся.

00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,200

Потому что они будут гарантировать свободу.

00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,330

И сделать это можно, лишь отнимая свободу.

00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:40,080

Вот что бывает, когда избалованные дети балуются с игрушками. Их отбирают.

00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,280

Человек оказался в опасности из-за того, что нам было некомфортно.

00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:48,450

Мы посчитали человека неудобным и убили его, вместе, не пошевелив и пальцем.

00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,040

Это сила свободы.

00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:55,250

Сила, с которой нам нельзя играть, пока мы не повзрослеем.

00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:57,420

И мы повзрослеем.

00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:59,380

Мы возьмёмся за ум.

00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:01,380

Мы станем большими и сильными.

00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:03,470

Мы изменим свое отношение друг другу.

00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,890

И таким образом мы изменим весь мир.

00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,680

И это сделает меня знаменитым.

00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:12,350

Это не обязательно должно быть в приоритете.

00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,220

Это просто предсказуемый результат.

00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:17,980

Объявляю минуту молчания по мужику в штанах, кем бы он ни был.

00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,320

Кто-то знал его имя?

00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:22,320

Никто или это минута молчания?

00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:23,950

Я не слышал его имя.

00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,450

- Извините.

- Какой стыд.

00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:28,870

Минута стыдного молчания по мужику в штанах.

00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,370

Знаю, я сказал, что буду носить их всегда.

00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:35,500

Но думаю, я донёс мысль. И они впиваются мне в зад.

00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:37,380

Можно я перестану их носить?

00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:38,460

Пожалуйста.

00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:39,340

Да, конечно.

00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,010

- Мы не против.

- Спасибо.

00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:43,590

Позор нам и спасибо вам.

00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:50,980

И почему это когда что-то пробивает нашу смертную кожу, из нас вытекает красная штука?

00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:53,190

Ей что, больше делать нечего?

00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:59,530

И что за дела с языками?

00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:04,450

Мы должны использовать мясо у себя во рту, чтобы почувствовать вкус другого мясо?

00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:06,990

Кто это придумал?

00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,500

Ты сказала им, что это она, да?

00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:14,210

Я решила, так будет правильнее.

00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:19,880

И наши волосы продолжат расти, если их не подстричь, я права?

00:21:22,590 --> 00:21:24,380

- Это смешно!

- Спасибо!

00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:27,760

Я Сьюзан, шутница!

eng__SDH.srt

eng__SDH.srt

00:00:03,608 --> 00:00:04,910

Because I'm drunk.

00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:06,781

[all cheer]

To drinking!

00:00:06,781 --> 00:00:08,216

You want to hear a joke?

00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:12,124

Why do unicorns always walk

into the tub backwards?

00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:15,430

[laughter and jeers]

00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:19,640

My man, tell us about

your bold new lower human wear.

00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,976

I call them pants.

00:00:20,976 --> 00:00:23,080

It's as if each leg

has its own toga.

00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,017

Well done.

To pants!

00:00:25,017 --> 00:00:26,587

[chuckles] I like this guy.

00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:27,755

A round on me then.

00:00:27,755 --> 00:00:29,793

- Okay, but...

- What?

00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:31,096

Well, is your friend gonna

00:00:31,096 --> 00:00:32,532

stay in his funny

joke clothing?

00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,905

Because it seems like

everyone's done laughing, so...

00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,776

Oh, that's fine.

They're not just funny.

00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:38,844

They're practical. Look.

00:00:38,844 --> 00:00:40,014

If I drop something,

I can just--

00:00:40,014 --> 00:00:40,982

[crowd yelling]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:41,951

We don't bend over in public.

00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:42,953

Well, that's a rule

00:00:42,953 --> 00:00:44,255

based on togas though.

00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:45,959

Think about it.

- You think about it!

00:00:45,959 --> 00:00:46,960

all: Yeah!

00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,129

Here's a pitch:

00:00:48,129 --> 00:00:50,134

why don't we all stop thinking

as a team

00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,604

on the count of drinks.

00:00:51,604 --> 00:00:52,405

It's disruptive.

00:00:52,405 --> 00:00:54,241

You gotta take that off

or leave.

00:00:54,241 --> 00:00:56,246

- Take off my pants?

- Well, no, no.

00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:58,216

I'm not learning

your new language for them.

00:00:58,216 --> 00:01:00,253

You can be naked

like a creature

00:01:00,253 --> 00:01:04,729

or wear a toga like a person

if you want to drink here.

00:01:04,729 --> 00:01:05,965

I would like to drink here.

00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,034

[crowd murmuring]

00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,238

And I'll be doing it in pants.

00:01:09,238 --> 00:01:10,407

[crowd yelling]

- You know what?

00:01:10,508 --> 00:01:13,079

This establishment has just

lost my business

00:01:13,079 --> 00:01:15,151

and the punchline

to my unicorn joke,

00:01:15,151 --> 00:01:18,658

which I assure you

was delightfully erotic

00:01:18,658 --> 00:01:19,960

and mildly racist.

00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,864

[yelling continues]

00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:24,836

[dramatic lyre music]

00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:32,217

♪ ♪

00:01:38,096 --> 00:01:41,035

[rhythmic grunting]

00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,739

♪ ♪

00:01:42,739 --> 00:01:44,609

all: Whoo!

00:01:46,947 --> 00:01:48,484

[whistles]

00:01:48,585 --> 00:01:50,889

Two more citizens eaten

outside the walls--

00:01:50,889 --> 00:01:51,857

monstadon.

00:01:51,857 --> 00:01:52,959

Again?

00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,128

Aren't monstadons

supposed to be

00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:55,532

roaming man-eaters?

00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,303

Perhaps they noticed

man stopped roaming.

00:01:58,403 --> 00:02:00,975

I'm glad modern life's

working out for someone.

00:02:00,975 --> 00:02:02,979

Stupendous,

do baby bro a solid.

00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:04,048

Slay a monstadon?

00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:05,685

I can't today.

I got a thing.

00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:06,385

A thing?

00:02:06,485 --> 00:02:08,157

Lots of people

tell their bosses

00:02:08,157 --> 00:02:09,292

when they have a thing.

00:02:09,292 --> 00:02:11,362

Okay, I have a head to crush

00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:13,935

with my bare hands

one question from now.

00:02:13,935 --> 00:02:14,903

I won't keep you.

00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:16,339

You can't crush my head.

00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:18,343

What thing do you have?

- It's none of your business.

00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:21,082

And if you turn into an animal

and follow me, I'll know.

00:02:21,082 --> 00:02:22,819

You're hardly

that intriguing.

00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:24,322

Don't flatter yourself.

00:02:24,322 --> 00:02:26,660

Mom, can you deal

with this monstadon?

00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:27,896

Uh, maybe.

00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:30,034

I--I might have a thing.

00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:32,071

[quietly]

Intriguing little bitch.

00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:34,342

I'd love to hunt

this monstadon down.

00:02:34,342 --> 00:02:36,848

What kind of coward sends

his differently abled brother

00:02:36,848 --> 00:02:37,849

to fight a monster?

00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:39,051

A busy coward?

00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:40,254

- Am I busy?

- Son,

00:02:40,254 --> 00:02:42,526

a human friend of mine

has just been

00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:45,364

refused beverage service

because of his clothing.

00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:47,468

Really?

It appears not all monsters

00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,339

are slain with weapons

in the woods.

00:02:49,339 --> 00:02:51,075

Yeah, you slay that one.

00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:52,946

I'll grab a weapon

and head for the woods.

00:02:52,946 --> 00:02:54,683

Teamwork.

00:02:54,683 --> 00:02:56,252

Okay, uh--

00:02:56,252 --> 00:02:57,823

- They're pants.

- They?

00:02:57,823 --> 00:02:59,091

There's more than one?

00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,327

You know what this

reminds me of?

00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:05,304

Remember that Ethiopian fella

with the, uh--the nutty tunic?

00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:06,673

- Shirt.

- The shirt!

00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:09,145

It's like an upside-down shirt

for your ass.

00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,046

So what's the problem?

00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:12,250

We were

forcibly ejected from a bar!

00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,956

Have you ever left a bar

voluntarily, Dad?

00:03:14,956 --> 00:03:16,092

Fair point.

No way of knowing.

00:03:16,092 --> 00:03:17,394

I don't mean to be rude.

00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:19,900

Can I ask what happens

when you have to,

00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,837

you know, release the kraken?

00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:22,806

I pull them down.

00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:23,874

Pull them down?

00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:24,976

Okay, but then you're

00:03:24,976 --> 00:03:26,747

squatting over a net, which--

00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:27,749

[scoffs]

Look, I'm sorry.

00:03:27,883 --> 00:03:30,320

It's not your job to defend

or explain what you do.

00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,990

Krapopolis is a free city.

00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:33,226

Good show, son.

00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:34,362

So you'll speak to the bar.

00:03:34,362 --> 00:03:35,297

Whoa.

[chuckles]

00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,167

What do you want me to do,

pass a law?

00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:38,170

I don't want anything.

00:03:38,170 --> 00:03:39,305

I don't do politics.

00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:41,276

But it's the only bar.

00:03:41,276 --> 00:03:42,612

A law would be great.

00:03:42,612 --> 00:03:44,549

Yeah, everyone always

thinks that.

00:03:44,549 --> 00:03:46,419

But freedom's

a double-edged sword--

00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:49,058

or a double-sleeved ass tunic.

00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:50,327

You get to wear

anything you want.

00:03:50,327 --> 00:03:52,231

The bar gets to serve

whoever they want.

00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,002

Everyone gets to blame

the results on me,

00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:55,137

and I get my own chef.

00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:56,238

It's a pretty good system.

00:03:56,238 --> 00:03:57,742

Nice to meet you.

Love the pants.

00:03:57,742 --> 00:04:00,280

They got me out

of a terrifying monster hunt.

00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,117

If you're not a fan

of unicorns,

00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,888

but you're a fan of sodomy,

00:04:03,888 --> 00:04:06,392

have I got a joke for you.

00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:09,666

[pig snorting,

monstadon growling]

00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:15,377

Buddy, you are ugly.

00:04:15,377 --> 00:04:17,548

And that's me talking.

00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,218

What the--

00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,122

[grunting]

00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:25,030

You're that hot tree lady

from that horrible party.

00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,365

Check out

last week's episode,

00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:28,169

curated on the Block Chain.

00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:29,606

There's an order

to the forest.

00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:31,476

We don't just kill

what doesn't please us.

00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:32,578

[scoffs]

I don't think

00:04:32,679 --> 00:04:34,849

your friend over there

knows the rules.

00:04:36,687 --> 00:04:38,524

It's not killing.

It's feeding.

00:04:38,524 --> 00:04:41,295

[scoffs] Does the food

share that perspective?

00:04:41,295 --> 00:04:42,398

[monstadon growls]

00:04:42,498 --> 00:04:44,067

You'll have to let me know.

00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:47,374

[monstadon growling

and snarling]

00:04:50,515 --> 00:04:52,217

- [grunts]

- You're alive.

00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:53,955

No thanks to nature.

00:04:53,955 --> 00:04:55,758

[monstadon snarling]

00:04:55,758 --> 00:04:57,728

[both yelping]

00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:05,343

Uh, I--I feel like it doesn't

know you're on its side.

00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,682

- Grow up.

- You can't make me!

00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,688

[birds chirping]

00:05:16,365 --> 00:05:18,035

Hail, everybody.

00:05:18,035 --> 00:05:19,673

all: Hail our great hero!

00:05:19,673 --> 00:05:21,877

The ill-tempered,

foulmouthed,

00:05:21,877 --> 00:05:25,150

and extremely pungent

Fantabulous!

00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,021

Don't forget impatient.

00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:28,991

So next time, keep it short.

00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,126

What's our next quest?

00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:31,764

Fantabulous?

00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:32,766

Quest?

00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:33,466

Hero?

00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,270

[twig snaps, deer bleats]

00:05:35,270 --> 00:05:36,940

[scoffs]

Push on, bucko.

00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:37,976

You're in over your antlers.

00:05:37,976 --> 00:05:39,947

And so we set out

00:05:39,947 --> 00:05:41,449

for the peaks of Olygyrtos

00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:44,155

to retrieve the fabled

Helmet of Iapetus.

00:05:44,155 --> 00:05:45,157

- Huzzah!

- Yeah!

00:05:45,157 --> 00:05:46,927

Hey!

[magical thwap]

00:05:47,027 --> 00:05:48,296

It came from over there,

00:05:48,296 --> 00:05:51,202

by the deer next

to the pile of ashes.

00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:53,172

I may have been followed.

00:05:53,172 --> 00:05:55,010

I'll meet you guys

at the ice caves.

00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,045

Go.

00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,688

I say don't do this,

so you do it?

00:06:00,688 --> 00:06:04,395

Why are you heroically

questing under a fake name?

00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:06,232

If it's escapism,

shouldn't your character be

00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,002

feminine and hygienic?

00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:09,706

I can make you those things.

00:06:09,706 --> 00:06:12,344

I've been offering

since puberty.

00:06:12,344 --> 00:06:14,682

I'm escapism-ing

from you, Mom!

00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:16,786

I don't mind being known

as your daughter,

00:06:16,786 --> 00:06:19,225

but I don't want

everything I've accomplished

00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:20,460

to be attached to your name.

00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:21,763

[scoffs] Too bad!

00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:24,302

Why do you think

the gods make children?

00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:26,372

They're drunk and horny.

00:06:26,372 --> 00:06:27,809

I mean, why do we keep them?

00:06:27,809 --> 00:06:30,815

Because they might become

heroes and make us proud.

00:06:30,815 --> 00:06:33,621

Now I find out you've been

doing it behind my back?

00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:35,624

Well, happy your birthday

to me.

00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:37,294

If you can't

support me having

00:06:37,294 --> 00:06:38,731

something that isn't about you,

00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,467

then I got no reason

to be your daughter.

00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:41,970

Well, guess what?

00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:45,310

If you can't include me in this

and let me prove you wrong,

00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,815

I'll make sure

everyone in the world knows

00:06:47,815 --> 00:06:48,751

I'm your mother.

00:06:48,884 --> 00:06:52,190

This is the most insulting

showdown of my life.

00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:54,529

[wind whistling]

00:06:54,529 --> 00:06:57,468

Okay, so apparently

I was followed.

00:06:57,468 --> 00:06:59,472

But it's okay.

It was just...

00:06:59,472 --> 00:07:02,244

[sighs]

My friend Susan.

00:07:02,244 --> 00:07:05,383

Hello, it's Susan,

the funny one.

00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,756

I enjoy eating food,

drinking liquids,

00:07:07,756 --> 00:07:09,859

and breathing in and out.

00:07:09,859 --> 00:07:11,529

[sighs]

00:07:14,035 --> 00:07:15,270

[electrical zapping]

00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:17,007

- [yells]

- [grunts]

00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:18,811

[monster growling]

00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:19,879

[grunts]

00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,187

[yelling]

00:07:24,187 --> 00:07:27,228

[both grunting]

00:07:27,228 --> 00:07:29,666

Isn't she something?

00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:32,539

Comments weren't part

of the deal, Susan.

00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,709

We're nothing

without Fantabulous.

00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:37,615

Weird question--does that

ever make you resent her?

00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:39,519

Resent her?

We're a team!

00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:42,290

But that doesn't

make you want to sneak off

00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,593

and do things without her.

00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,496

Hey, Susan,

your head's normal,

00:07:45,496 --> 00:07:48,269

so it does stop talking

if I put a fist through it.

00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:49,505

- Whoa.

- Uh, yikes.

00:07:49,505 --> 00:07:50,674

[chuckling]

Not my place to say,

00:07:50,674 --> 00:07:52,746

but I'm not sure

Susan deserved that.

00:07:52,746 --> 00:07:56,185

Yeah, she almost celebrates

how humble and ordinary she is.

00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,320

Which I find refreshing.

00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,356

Can we get going?

00:07:58,356 --> 00:07:59,392

Lot of ground to cover.

00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:01,630

Yes, and we cannot fly.

00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,935

It is cold in here, correct?

00:08:03,935 --> 00:08:04,736

Brrr!

00:08:04,836 --> 00:08:06,606

We get cold

when we're around ice.

00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:08,142

I am certain that's accurate.

00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:09,211

[laughter]

00:08:09,211 --> 00:08:10,815

Susan, you are a delight.

00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:13,687

- Oh, absolutely.

- Uh-huh, yep, she is.

00:08:15,725 --> 00:08:17,261

Hold on.

My torch is low.

00:08:17,261 --> 00:08:18,598

You must be devastated

00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,433

that there's nothing

to burn down here.

00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,468

I can see.

Follow me.

00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,106

Okay, but--

00:08:23,106 --> 00:08:24,375

[whimpering]

00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:25,377

Are you crying?

00:08:25,377 --> 00:08:26,446

No.

00:08:26,446 --> 00:08:28,215

I hear the same sound.

00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:29,452

I think it's a freak draft

00:08:29,452 --> 00:08:31,255

or a sad stalagmite.

00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:32,725

You're afraid of the dark.

00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,862

In science

we call that a theory.

00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,201

Good luck proving it.

[sniffling]

00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,336

What's with the worm?

00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:39,506

It's part

of the natural world,

00:08:39,506 --> 00:08:41,108

emits light

without you chopping it down.

00:08:41,108 --> 00:08:42,845

But you don't need it,

so I'll just--

00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:44,849

Keep the worm on!

Keep the worm on!

00:08:44,849 --> 00:08:47,421

- What does science call that?

- Bullying.

00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:49,458

[shouting and jeering]

00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:51,095

Stop! Break it up!

00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:51,896

Now what?

00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,134

Pants Guy tried

to get back into the bar!

00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,369

Because I like drinking!

00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,208

And I wear pants!

00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:58,476

Okay, first of all,

00:08:58,476 --> 00:09:00,948

this city's angry mob

threshold is too low.

00:09:00,948 --> 00:09:01,683

[mob yelling]

00:09:01,683 --> 00:09:03,654

Sounds like you know I'm right!

00:09:03,654 --> 00:09:05,356

Dad?

[boos and jeers]

00:09:05,356 --> 00:09:07,427

Now you're protecting

Pants Guy?

00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:09,465

- Pants Guy has a name.

- And I don't?

00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,235

I'll learn yours

when you learn his.

00:09:11,235 --> 00:09:12,370

What's his?

00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,208

[spluttering]

It doesn't matter.

00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:15,377

Just get back to your lives.

00:09:15,377 --> 00:09:16,346

Whatever, man!

[mob grumbling]

00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:17,849

Yeah, grumble, grumble,

00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,619

worst king ever--

like I'm the problem.

00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:20,922

Thanks for a tough lesson,

by the way.

00:09:20,922 --> 00:09:23,794

I'd rather be fighting

a monstadon.

00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:26,265

This is the same cavern.

00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:27,467

No, it's not.

00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,238

Daphne, I'm not just

being a dick.

00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:30,674

I marked this rock, see?

00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,343

[sighs]

I'm getting weak.

00:09:32,343 --> 00:09:33,680

We're pretty far

from the trees.

00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,383

That's where you get

your power, right?

00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,354

What? You're not

supposed to know that.

00:09:37,454 --> 00:09:39,091

I research.

I learn.

00:09:39,091 --> 00:09:41,328

Nobody's supposed

to know anything.

00:09:41,328 --> 00:09:42,732

I'm not supposed to walk.

00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,702

The weak aren't supposed

to be strong.

00:09:44,702 --> 00:09:47,407

I'm supposed to be

sucking algae off a rock in--

00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:48,644

In the darkness.

00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:50,648

Nature's order isn't fair.

00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:51,750

I could make you equipment

00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,353

that would let you leave

the forest.

00:09:53,353 --> 00:09:54,956

The forest is leaving me.

00:09:54,956 --> 00:09:58,630

Your city eats trees

and craps... crap.

00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,399

And you never researched

the monstadon,

00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,505

or you'd know you can

keep it away from your city

00:10:02,505 --> 00:10:04,643

with giant scorpion urine.

00:10:04,743 --> 00:10:08,416

Giant scorpion urine,

of course!

00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:10,688

I don't suppose

nature makes explosions?

00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:12,792

I could fracture this rock

at the base.

00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:13,961

Have you tried

these mushrooms?

00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,098

No, thanks.

I take a lot of stuff

00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:18,871

just to stay focused,

and I probably shouldn't mix.

00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:21,175

No, we light them,

and they explode.

00:10:21,175 --> 00:10:23,445

We give them to human children

and say they're candy.

00:10:23,445 --> 00:10:24,481

It's hilarious.

00:10:24,481 --> 00:10:25,584

Killing kids...

[chuckles]

00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,622

Yeah, I can see

how that's funny.

00:10:27,622 --> 00:10:29,157

Okay, my arrows are made

of flint.

00:10:29,157 --> 00:10:31,630

We'll need a lot of these

and some kind of, um,

00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,299

sticky substance.

00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,568

That I've got covered,

00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,673

or I'm covered in

very naturally.

00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:38,510

Holding your hand

was disgusting.

00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:40,280

That's just

my reproductive jelly.

00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,983

You'll get used to it, Mom.

00:10:41,983 --> 00:10:43,654

- I'm sorry, what?

- I'm kidding.

00:10:43,654 --> 00:10:46,158

It's mostly mucus.

00:10:46,158 --> 00:10:48,930

[creatures screeching]

00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:51,201

Harpies!

00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:52,070

Again?

00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,040

We don't go into their nest

and kill them.

00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,347

Oh, no, wait.

We actually did do that before.

00:10:57,347 --> 00:10:58,551

My bad.

[Harpies shrieking]

00:10:58,551 --> 00:11:00,621

all: Huzzah!

- So great!

00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:04,729

I can't wait to tell my human

parents about this adventure!

00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,065

Does everyone here share

00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,637

their accomplishments

with your families,

00:11:08,637 --> 00:11:12,612

or are--are you kind of

selfish and isolated?

00:11:12,612 --> 00:11:14,849

[quietly] What?

- You call this supporting me?

00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,986

I'm putting up

with a lot here, girl.

00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:19,357

Do you know how much

I'm pretending my feet hurt?

00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:20,661

Oh, no!

00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:22,731

Another Harpy!

00:11:22,731 --> 00:11:24,401

- Wait, what?

- We're coming!

00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:27,340

They're all attacking Susan!

00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:30,013

You wouldn't.

00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:32,785

You would.

You'd murder Susan,

00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:35,156

because you can't share

a sliver of attention.

00:11:35,156 --> 00:11:38,395

Or Susan's just fine,

because you can't.

00:11:38,395 --> 00:11:40,534

Almost there!

Hold on!

00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,670

It's too late.

00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,239

She's gone.

00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:48,950

[flatly] Help!

00:11:49,786 --> 00:11:51,857

both: No!

- Susan, no!

00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:55,463

I really, really, really,

really liked her!

00:11:55,463 --> 00:11:56,933

Yeah, she knew the risks.

00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,271

We'll give her

a hero's funeral.

00:11:59,271 --> 00:12:01,810

Susan hated funerals.

She said when she died,

00:12:01,810 --> 00:12:04,348

she wanted everyone

to forget she ever lived

00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,784

and go back to questing.

00:12:05,885 --> 00:12:07,487

I was considering

asking her out.

00:12:07,487 --> 00:12:09,959

I can see that.

She was plainer than the type

00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:12,832

you tend to pursue, but you've

always been self-destructive.

00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,036

Well, you know, my mom was

such a big personality.

00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:16,840

Yep, and then we look

for our moms

00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,810

because we want to revisit

and fix things.

00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:20,815

And then we treat women

like garbage

00:12:20,815 --> 00:12:21,984

because we're babies.

00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:25,925

A real man, a confident,

mature man ends up with a Susan

00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:27,562

and straight up worships her.

00:12:27,562 --> 00:12:28,830

We'll do that tonight,

00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:32,103

an altar and a prayer

to our goddess, Susan!

00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:33,439

both: Susan!

00:12:33,439 --> 00:12:35,143

[groans]

00:12:35,143 --> 00:12:36,178

There you are.

00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:39,452

Wow, those idiots out there

really want you

00:12:39,452 --> 00:12:40,554

to take off your pants.

00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:41,556

What about you?

00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:42,725

I can't stress enough

00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:44,461

how little I care, buddy.

00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:45,496

Let me tell you a secret.

00:12:45,496 --> 00:12:47,367

I didn't start a city

because I respect people.

00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,106

If there were a better,

safer job that I could pull off

00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:52,277

more convincingly by talking

to less of them,

00:12:52,277 --> 00:12:52,945

I'd be out of here.

00:12:52,945 --> 00:12:54,749

The idea that someone's pants

00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,185

could end up

costing me everything--

00:12:56,185 --> 00:12:59,659

I mean, not just me,

the whole city, people's lives.

00:12:59,659 --> 00:13:01,328

I mean, it's ridiculous!

00:13:01,328 --> 00:13:02,497

It's pointless!

00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:03,600

You agree with that, right?

00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,102

It's--it's point--

00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:07,741

Where's Pants Guy?

00:13:07,741 --> 00:13:08,777

He was here, but--

00:13:08,777 --> 00:13:10,480

Did you say something to him?

00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,583

I mean, nothing new.

00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,619

You know my position.

00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:13,654

I know you don't have one.

00:13:13,654 --> 00:13:14,856

Which is the one to have.

00:13:14,856 --> 00:13:15,957

I don't disagree.

00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:18,362

I've always liked that

about you.

00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,372

Okay, we better find him

before he gets killed.

00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:24,842

Pants Guy!

00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,813

We are gathered

to honor Susan,

00:13:26,813 --> 00:13:28,416

which was not my idea.

00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,721

She was more powerful

than people know,

00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,692

did not like letting go

of that power.

00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:34,929

In fact, she was

such a control freak,

00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:36,834

I'm pretty shocked

she can handle laying here

00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:38,002

without interrupting.

00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,772

- Oof.

- Shouldn't gallows humor

00:13:39,772 --> 00:13:41,510

have more humor?

00:13:41,510 --> 00:13:43,780

Yeah, the goal

isn't typically

00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,450

to take the deceased

down a peg.

00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,385

Well, guess what?

00:13:46,385 --> 00:13:48,188

I knew the real Susan,

and you guys didn't.

00:13:48,188 --> 00:13:50,661

So you can let me get

some stuff off my chest,

00:13:50,661 --> 00:13:52,130

or you can be the next funeral.

00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:53,633

- And that's fine too.

- Fair enough.

00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,736

Yes, yes.

Okay. All right.

00:13:54,736 --> 00:13:56,138

Are you sure

this is gonna work?

00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,443

That's definitely one

of two possibilities.

00:13:58,443 --> 00:13:59,478

- The other?

- Mm.

00:13:59,478 --> 00:14:01,081

We die buried

under a mountain of rubble.

00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:04,354

Well, at least I'd get

to die with a friend.

00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:05,122

The worm?

00:14:05,223 --> 00:14:07,695

That thing doesn't

even have a face!

00:14:07,695 --> 00:14:09,532

Oh, you meant me.

00:14:09,532 --> 00:14:11,302

That's... nice.

00:14:11,302 --> 00:14:13,773

For the record,

I'd rather us both survive.

00:14:13,773 --> 00:14:15,845

Obviously,

that's my preference too.

00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,115

Okay, here we go.

00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:25,063

[panting]

00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:27,333

- We did it!

- There's so much light!

00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,271

I love nature!

00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:29,940

I love science!

00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:32,744

- Nature!

- Science!

00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:34,783

[monstadon growling]

both: Monstadon!

00:14:34,783 --> 00:14:36,284

[monstadon snarls

and screeches]

00:14:37,286 --> 00:14:38,256

There he is.

00:14:38,256 --> 00:14:40,661

I guess he'd rather

be somewhere free.

00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:43,232

I think the lesson here is

that if you give things

00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:45,770

enough time, most issues

work themselves out.

00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:47,541

[screaming]

00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,512

[monstadon roars]

00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,820

And then there was this time

she left me on a raft--

00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:55,891

and by raft,

I mean a scrap of wood--

00:14:55,891 --> 00:14:58,463

so she could go

to an underwater orgy

00:14:58,463 --> 00:14:59,832

at Poseidon's palace.

00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:00,867

Are you having fun?

00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,404

[all exclaim]

- Susan's alive!

00:15:02,404 --> 00:15:04,408

Susan, I love you!

00:15:04,408 --> 00:15:05,611

But why don't you bleed?

00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:07,447

For the same reason

you don't have a shot,

00:15:07,447 --> 00:15:08,215

you gangly dork.

00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:10,888

I'm an Olympian goddess.

[all gasp]

00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:13,727

I'm also this ungrateful

meatball's mother,

00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:15,697

which is apparently

the worst thing

00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,502

that has ever happened to her!

00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:18,637

Uh, yeah.

00:15:18,637 --> 00:15:19,973

And will you ever let

00:15:19,973 --> 00:15:22,009

the Poseidon thing go?

00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:25,717

What was I supposed to do,

bring a child to an orgy?

00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,588

It was underwater!

00:15:27,588 --> 00:15:28,723

I warned you.

00:15:28,723 --> 00:15:30,861

I am never speaking

to you again.

00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:32,430

Now go away!

00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,602

Wait, hold on.

We have a goddess

00:15:34,602 --> 00:15:35,937

in our adventuring party?

00:15:35,937 --> 00:15:37,006

She's not in our party.

00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:39,712

Unless that's something

you think you'd want.

00:15:39,712 --> 00:15:41,048

- What?

- But my daughter can't

00:15:41,048 --> 00:15:43,887

be around me,

so I guess you have to choose.

00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:44,889

- What?

- Uh, you.

00:15:44,889 --> 00:15:46,593

- We choose you!

- I love you!

00:15:46,693 --> 00:15:47,895

You're the worst!

00:15:47,895 --> 00:15:49,599

You made that clear.

00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:51,401

And contrary to your eulogy,

00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:52,738

I do have feelings.

00:15:52,738 --> 00:15:54,308

So mean!

00:15:54,308 --> 00:15:55,210

I'm on your mom's side.

00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,782

You're a bad daughter.

- Yes, but you don't

00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:59,484

get to say that.

- Yes, ma'am.

00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:06,098

That was so easy.

00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,568

I can't believe

your daughter was actually

00:16:07,568 --> 00:16:09,070

choosing to do things

the hard way.

00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:11,509

- Setting herself up to fail.

- Well, it's annoying.

00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:13,747

We could have been questing

the Deliria way all along.

00:16:13,747 --> 00:16:16,820

Yes, the good news is,

everything comes easier to me.

00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,924

The bad news is,

that includes getting bored.

00:16:18,924 --> 00:16:20,126

Let's finish this up.

00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:22,063

Hmm.

You and Fantabulous

00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:24,000

are very similar

in that regard.

00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,873

Can you magically zap out

that helmet for us?

00:16:26,873 --> 00:16:28,308

Ugh.

00:16:28,308 --> 00:16:29,344

Zap.

00:16:32,016 --> 00:16:33,953

We did it. Hooray.

Quest over.

00:16:33,953 --> 00:16:35,591

Let's go home

and never do this again.

00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:37,193

Nay, the quest continues!

00:16:37,193 --> 00:16:40,065

There may be

more adventure ahead.

00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,869

Jeez, first time questing much?

00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:44,542

[laughter]

00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:46,178

Told you, adventure.

00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:47,314

You coming?

- I only did this

00:16:47,414 --> 00:16:50,788

so I could spend some time

with my stupid idiot daughter.

00:16:50,788 --> 00:16:52,224

And now I'm stuck with you,

00:16:52,224 --> 00:16:55,129

her even bigger

stupid idiot "friends"

00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:57,033

who literally abandoned her

at the drop of a--

00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,304

[foundation rumbling,

all yelling]

00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:04,782

[roars]

00:17:04,782 --> 00:17:05,817

[groans]

00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,119

Hey, Deliria!

00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,390

Remember when you

and your Olympic butt-buddies

00:17:09,491 --> 00:17:11,762

imprisoned me

thousands of years ago?

00:17:11,762 --> 00:17:12,865

Iapetus?

00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,100

Why is a Titan here?

00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,937

Is this a normal part

of your whole thing?

00:17:15,937 --> 00:17:17,942

No!

I don't know what this is!

00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:20,480

[screaming]

00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,281

Good God!

00:17:21,382 --> 00:17:23,018

Is that what's

inside all mortals?

00:17:23,018 --> 00:17:24,054

[both yelling]

00:17:24,054 --> 00:17:25,958

Yeah, same basic setup.

00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:27,594

And now to deal with you.

00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:31,468

That has never happened

to me before, I swear.

00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,974

You and the rest

of those bastard Olympians

00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:36,111

buried me in a pit

for all eternity!

00:17:36,111 --> 00:17:37,380

And it wasn't even a nice pit!

00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,351

No, that was

all the other Olympians!

00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:42,123

I tried to stop them.

I was like, guys, no.

00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:44,161

Not cool.

Iapetus is the best.

00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:45,998

- Liar!

- Well, yes, obviously.

00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,101

Like you'd be super honest

in my situation.

00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,073

- [growling]

- [yelps]

00:17:50,073 --> 00:17:51,709

I've always thought

you were handsome,

00:17:51,709 --> 00:17:52,911

not in the traditional sense.

00:17:52,911 --> 00:17:54,982

But as horrific Titans go,

you're a 10!

00:17:54,982 --> 00:17:57,655

- [growling]

- [yells]

00:17:57,655 --> 00:18:00,393

You came back to save me!

00:18:00,393 --> 00:18:03,298

That's what epic heroes

of legend do.

00:18:03,298 --> 00:18:04,601

Oh, and all

your friends are dead.

00:18:04,601 --> 00:18:06,806

You're actually standing

in some of them right now.

00:18:06,806 --> 00:18:07,841

Ugh.

00:18:07,841 --> 00:18:11,214

[roaring]

00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:13,653

[grunts]

00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:17,394

Okay, now I'm out of ideas.

00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:19,130

We need to get him back

in his hole

00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,601

and put some of that

magic dirt on top.

00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:23,272

It's enchanted to weigh

as much as the entire world.

00:18:23,272 --> 00:18:25,176

That's the only way

to trap a Titan.

00:18:25,176 --> 00:18:27,180

That's right, magic dirt.

00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:29,151

I'm gonna need something

sturdier than this.

00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,654

I suppose I could

conjure you up--

00:18:30,754 --> 00:18:32,123

ooh!

00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:33,125

- [yelling]

- [shrieking]

00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:34,662

- [grunting]

- Aah!

00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:36,498

Oof!

00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:39,505

[grunting]

00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:42,210

[groaning]

00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:44,815

And that's

how you take out a Titan.

00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:45,984

We did it!

00:18:45,984 --> 00:18:47,554

Well, mostly you.

00:18:47,554 --> 00:18:48,455

Let's go home.

00:18:48,455 --> 00:18:50,125

This is probably

the concussion talking,

00:18:50,225 --> 00:18:51,863

but I am very proud of you.

00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:53,132

We make a pretty good team.

00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,367

We're never doing this again.

00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,171

No, not in a million years.

00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:01,314

Oh, hey, scorpion urine!

00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,586

And I didn't nail it to a tree.

00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:04,822

That's nice.

00:19:04,922 --> 00:19:06,324

This still doesn't

end well though.

00:19:06,324 --> 00:19:09,063

The forest has to kill the city

or die trying.

00:19:09,063 --> 00:19:10,834

I respect that!

00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,437

I respect you.

00:19:12,437 --> 00:19:13,907

Goodbye.

00:19:13,907 --> 00:19:15,409

Bye.

00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:18,583

[crowd murmuring]

00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:19,819

[all gasping]

00:19:19,819 --> 00:19:20,921

My word!

00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:23,659

[murmuring continues]

00:19:25,263 --> 00:19:28,135

Starting today,

I'll be wearing pants.

00:19:28,135 --> 00:19:29,872

I'll also be declaring

new laws,

00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:31,174

laws you won't like

00:19:31,174 --> 00:19:33,211

because they will be laws

that guarantee freedom,

00:19:33,211 --> 00:19:36,117

and they can only do that

by taking freedom away.

00:19:36,117 --> 00:19:37,487

That's what happens

when spoiled children

00:19:37,487 --> 00:19:40,093

abuse their toys--

they get confiscated.

00:19:40,093 --> 00:19:41,261

We drove a man into danger

00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,131

because we wanted

to feel comfort.

00:19:43,131 --> 00:19:47,006

We found a person inconvenient,

so we killed him, together,

00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:48,241

without lifting a finger.

00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,880

That's the power of freedom,

00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:55,089

power we are not allowed

to play with until we grow up.

00:19:55,089 --> 00:19:57,294

And we are going to grow up.

00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:59,264

We are going

to get our crap together.

00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,267

We are going

to get big and strong.

00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,305

We're going to change

how we treat each other,

00:20:03,406 --> 00:20:06,746

and that's how we're going

to change the entire world.

00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:09,518

And that's why

I'm gonna be famous.

00:20:09,518 --> 00:20:12,156

W-we--we don't have

to make that the priority.

00:20:12,256 --> 00:20:13,392

I'm just predicting that

as a result.

00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:15,429

I'd like a moment of silence

00:20:15,429 --> 00:20:17,868

for whatever

Pants Guy's name was.

00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:20,205

Did anyone get his name?

00:20:20,205 --> 00:20:22,209

Is that a no, or is this

the moment of silence?

00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:23,846

[crowd murmuring]

- I didn't hear his name.

00:20:23,846 --> 00:20:25,182

- Sorry.

- Shameful.

00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:28,756

A moment of shameful silence

for Pants Guy.

00:20:30,426 --> 00:20:32,296

I know I said I was going

to wear these forever,

00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:33,567

but I think I've made my point,

00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,402

and they're really pinching

my crack.

00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,140

Is it okay

if I stop wearing these?

00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,242

[crowd chattering]

- Please.

00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:39,210

- Yeah, sure.

- Sure, that's fine.

00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:40,881

- We don't mind.

- Thank you.

00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:43,485

Shame on us, and thank you.

00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:48,094

And what's up with how

when something pierces

00:20:48,094 --> 00:20:50,801

our mortal skin,

red stuff comes out?

00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:53,105

I mean, red stuff much?

00:20:53,105 --> 00:20:56,445

[laughter]

00:20:56,445 --> 00:20:59,284

And what is up with tongues?

00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:02,156

We have to use

our own mouth meat

00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:04,361

just to taste other meat?

00:21:04,361 --> 00:21:06,932

[laughs]

Who came up with that?

00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,439

[laughter]

00:21:10,439 --> 00:21:12,410

You told them it's her,

didn't you?

00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:14,113

Seemed like

the right thing to do.

00:21:14,113 --> 00:21:16,619

And our hair

just keeps growing

00:21:16,619 --> 00:21:19,792

unless we cut it off,

am I right?

00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:22,397

[laughter]

00:21:22,497 --> 00:21:24,334

- That's good!

- Thank you!

00:21:24,434 --> 00:21:27,675

I'm Susan, the funny one!

00:21:27,675 --> 00:21:30,714

[laughter]

00:21:31,014 --> 00:21:32,617

Did you get any of that?

00:21:34,889 --> 00:21:35,857

Bento.

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