Подземелья и Делирия
Описание
Один из мирных жителей придумал штаны, над которыми насмехаются другие. Шлуб просит Тиранниса помочь разрешить ситуацию в баре с мирными жителями. Тем временем Гиппокамп охотится на бушующего Монстадона, где встречает Дафну, и они оказываются запертыми под землей. Теперь им предстоит выбраться из пещеры и убить Монстадона. В то же время Ступендус присоединяется к своим друзьям в походе к вершинам Олигиртоса за шлемом Япета, и за ней следует Делирия, замаскированная под женщину по имени Сьюзен, которая утверждает, что является подругой Ступендус. Она завоевывает расположение отряда Ступендус и вскоре вступает в конфликт с Япетом, когда члены отряда, сами того не зная, освобождают его из заточения.
Субтитры
DEFAULT__DEFAULT.srt
DEFAULT__DEFAULT.srt
00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:05,270
Потому что я пьяница.
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,110
За пьянство!
00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:08,610
Хотите шутку?
00:00:08,650 --> 00:00:12,490
Почему единороги всегда заходят в ванну задом?
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:19,960
Друг, расскажи нам о своей новой смелой нижней человеческой одежде.
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,420
Я назвал это "штаны".
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,420
Как будто у каждой ноги есть своя тога.
00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:25,420
Превосходно. За штаны!
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,880
Он мне нравится.
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,050
Тогда я угощаю.
00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:30,090
- Ладно, но...
- Что?
00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,840
Твой друг так и останется в своей шуточной смешной одежде?
00:00:32,930 --> 00:00:36,220
Потому что все закончили смеяться, и...
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:39,140
Они не просто смешные. Они практичные. Смотрите.
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,310
Если я что-то уроню...
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:42,270
Мы не наклоняемся прилюдно.
00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:44,560
Но это правило придумано для тог.
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:46,270
- Подумайте.
- Ты подумай!
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,270
Да!
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:51,700
Есть предложение: давайте все перестанем думать как одна команда и выпьем.
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:54,610
Ты нарушаешь порядок. Сними их или уходи.
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:56,530
- Мне снять штаны?
- Нет, нет.
00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,540
Мне всё равно, как ты их называешь.
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,540
Ты можешь быть голым, как животное,
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:05,000
или одетым в тогу, как человек, если хочешь здесь выпивать.
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,290
Я хочу здесь выпивать.
00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:09,550
И я буду делать это в штанах.
00:01:09,590 --> 00:01:10,880
Знаете что?
00:01:11,010 --> 00:01:13,380
Это заведение только что потеряло меня
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и концовку моей шутки про единорога.
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Которая, уверяю вас, была восхитительно эротичной и немного расистской.
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Еще двое граждан съедены за стенами.
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МонстадОном.
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Снова?
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Разве монстадоны не должны есть странствующих людей?
00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:58,510
Возможно, они заметили, что люди перестали странствовать.
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,180
Рад, что хоть кто-то приспособился к современной жизни.
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Колосса, окажи братану услугу.
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Убей монстадона.
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Сегодня не могу. У меня дело.
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Дело?
00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:09,480
Многие люди говорят своим начальникам, что у них за дела.
00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:14,150
Ладно, я должна расплющить голову голыми руками после еще одного вопроса.
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,110
Не буду задерживать.
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Мою голову ты не расплющишь.
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- Что за дело?
- Тебя не касается.
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И если превратишься и последуешь за мной, я замечу.
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Ты не настолько интригующая.
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Не льсти себе.
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Мам, можешь разобраться с монстадоном?
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Возможно.
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У меня есть дело.
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Интригующая сучка.
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Я буду рад поохотиться на монстодона.
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Какой трус пошлёт своего альтернативно одарённого брата на бой с чудовищем?
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,220
Занятой трус?
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,510
- Разве я занят?
- Сын.
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:45,520
Моему человеческому другу только что отказали в обслуживании из-за его одежды.
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,520
Правда? Похоже, не всех чудовищ можно сразить оружием в лесу.
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Да, ты срази этого.
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,150
А я возьму оружие и пойду в лес.
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Командная работа.
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Ладно...
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- Вот они, штаны.
- Они? Их несколько?
00:02:58,990 --> 00:03:00,490
Знаете, что это напоминает?
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:05,450
Помните того эфиопского чела и его непонятную тунику?
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:06,830
- Рубашка.
- Рубашка!
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,370
Это как перевёрнутая рубашка для задницы.
00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:10,500
Так в чём проблема?
00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:12,420
Нас заставили уйти из бара!
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:15,090
Ты хоть раз уходил из бара добровольно?
00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:16,210
Тоже верно. Не могу знать.
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:17,630
Не хочу показаться грубым.
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:22,010
Можно спросить, что ты делаешь, когда нужно выпустить кракена?
00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:22,970
Я стягиваю их.
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:24,010
Стягиваешь их?
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,640
Но в таком случае, когда ты присаживаешься, это...
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,890
Слушай, извини.
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Ты не обязан защищаться или объясняться.
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,150
Крапополис - свободный город.
00:03:32,190 --> 00:03:33,400
Правильно, сын.
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Так что поговори с баром.
00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:37,320
Чего ты хочешь, чтобы я принял закон?
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Я ничего не хочу.
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,450
Я аполитичный.
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,410
Но это единственный бар.
00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:42,740
Закон? Было бы отлично.
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,660
Да, все всегда так думают.
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,540
Но свобода - это палка о двух концах.
00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:49,160
Или туника для задницы о двух рукавах.
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Ты можешь носить, что хочешь.
00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:52,330
А бар обслуживает, кого хочет.
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Все винят в результате меня, а у меня есть свой повар.
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,380
Это неплохая система.
00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:57,840
Рад знакомству. Штаны клёвые.
00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:00,380
Они спасли меня от охоты на страшное чудовище.
00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:04,010
Если ты не любишь единорогов, но любишь содомию,
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,600
у меня есть для тебя шутка.
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,440
Приятель, ну ты и урод.
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И это я тебе говорю.
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:19,320
Какого?..
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,080
Ты та древесная красотка с кошмарной вечеринки.
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,240
Смотрите предыдущую серию с поддержкой блокчейна.
00:04:28,290 --> 00:04:29,660
У нас в лесу есть порядок.
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,540
Нельзя просто убивать то, что нам неприятно.
00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:34,960
Я не думаю, что твой друг в курсе этих правил.
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,590
Он не убивает. Он питается.
00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:41,380
А еда разделяет эту точку зрения?
00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:44,140
Потом расскажешь.
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,270
Ты живой.
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,980
Не благодаря природе.
00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:05,410
Кажется, он не знает, что ты за него.
00:05:05,450 --> 00:05:07,780
- Повзрослей.
- И не подумаю!
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Всем привет.
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Привет великому герою!
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:25,180
Сварливая, острая на язык и предельно едкая ошеломИсса.
00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:27,010
Вы забыли "нетерпеливая".
00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:30,140
В следующий раз давайте покороче. Какой у нас сегодня приключение?
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,770
Ошеломисса?
00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:32,680
Приключение?
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:33,480
Герой?
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,980
Иди отсюда, ты прыгаешь выше рогов.
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:41,440
Итак, мы отправляемся к пикам олийИртос
00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:44,150
в поисках легендарного шлема япЕта.
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,350
- Ура!
- Да!
00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:51,200
Это было возле той оленихи, которая стоит у кучи пепла.
00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:53,290
Кажется, за мной проследили.
00:05:53,370 --> 00:05:55,000
Встретимся у ледяных пещер.
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,040
Идите.
00:05:58,370 --> 00:06:00,870
Я говорила тебе этого не делать.
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:04,580
Почему ты геройствуешь под ненастоящим именем?
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:08,210
Если это побег от реальности, почему твой персонаж не женственный и опрятный?
00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:10,050
Я могу сделать тебя такой.
00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:12,510
Я предлагаю тебе с переходного возраста.
00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,840
Я сбегаю от тебя, мама!
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:16,970
Я не против быть известной как твоя дочь.
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:20,640
Но я не хочу, чтобы все мои достижения связывали с твоим именем.
00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:24,480
Очень жаль! Почему по-твоему боги заводят детей?
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,520
Они бухие и похотливые.
00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:27,940
То есть зачем мы их оставляем?
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:30,940
Они могут стать героями и поводом для гордости.
00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:33,740
Но ты, как оказалось, делаешь это втайне от меня?
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,740
Что ж, с днём твоего рождения меня.
00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:38,950
Если ты не можешь поддержать что-то, не касающееся тебя,
00:06:38,990 --> 00:06:40,540
то у меня нет причин быть твоей дочерью.
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,120
Ну угадай что?
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,460
Если ты не возьмёшь меня с собой и не дашь доказать твою неправоту,
00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:48,880
я прослежу, чтобы все в мире знали, что я твоя мать.
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:52,340
Это самое унизительное противостояние в моей жизни.
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,590
Ладно, за мной действительно проследили.
00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,600
Но всё нормально, это была...
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,350
Ох. Моя подруга СьЮзан.
00:07:02,390 --> 00:07:05,520
Привет, я Сьюзан, шутница.
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,940
Я люблю есть еду, пить жидкости, вдыхать и выдыхать.
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,960
Правда она нечто?
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,630
Комментарии в сделку не входили, Сьюзан.
00:07:32,710 --> 00:07:34,800
Мы никто без Ошеломиссы.
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,800
Странный вопрос: это не заставляет вас ее ненавидеть?
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,590
Ненавидеть? Мы команда!
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:43,640
Но от этого вам не хочется сделать что-нибудь тайком без нее?
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,600
Эй, Сьюзан, у тебя обычная голова.
00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:48,350
Она перестанет говорить, если я ее пробью.
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:49,650
- Оу.
- Ё-моё.
00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:52,820
Это не мое дело, но не думаю, что она это заслужила.
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:56,280
Она чуть ли не прославляет то, какая она скромная и обычная.
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,400
Что я нахожу свежим.
00:07:57,490 --> 00:07:59,450
Может, пойдём? Впереди долгий путь.
00:07:59,490 --> 00:08:01,700
Да, и мы не можем летать.
00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:03,790
Здесь холодно, верно?
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:04,790
Бррр!
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:06,660
Нам холодно, когда вокруг лёд.
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,210
Я уверена, что это так.
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,960
Сьюзан, ты прелесть.
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,750
- Безусловно.
- Ага, она такая.
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,300
Стой. Мой факел догорел.
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:20,470
Тебя, должно быть, расстраивает, что здесь нечего сжечь.
00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:21,510
Я вижу в темноте, за мной.
00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:23,180
Ладно, но...
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,430
Ты плачешь?
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,560
Нет.
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,270
Я тоже это слышал.
00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:31,270
Думаю, это уродливый ветер или грустный сталагмит.
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,770
Ты боишься темноты.
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,980
Мы, учёные, зовём это теорией.
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:37,240
Удачи ее доказать.
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,360
Что за червь?
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,110
Это часть природного мира. Его не надо рубить, чтобы он светился.
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,910
Но тебе он не нужен, так что...
00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:44,870
Оставь червя! Оставь червя!
00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:47,410
- Как учёные зовут это?
- Издевательство.
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:51,120
Стоять! Разойтись!
00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:52,130
Что такое?
00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:54,130
Мужик в штанах пытался вернуться в бар!
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:55,420
Я люблю прибухнуть!
00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,210
И я ношу штаны!
00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,800
Так, во-первых, толпы в этом городе разъяряются по любому поводу.
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,760
Похоже, вы знаете, что я прав!
00:09:03,850 --> 00:09:05,350
Папа?
00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:07,470
Вы защищаете мужика в штанах?
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,480
- У мужика в штанах есть имя.
- А у меня нет?
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,230
Я узнаю твое, когда ты узнаешь его.
00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:12,350
И как его?
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,190
Э... это неважно.
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:15,310
Просто расходитесь.
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,320
Да и плевать!
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,820
Да, ворчите, ворчите.
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,640
Я худший царь. Будто проблема во мне.
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:20,900
Спасибо за жестокий урок, кстати.
00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:23,780
Лучше бы я дрался с монстадоном.
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,240
Это та же пещера.
00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,450
Не та же.
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,200
Дафни, это не просто издёвка.
00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:30,660
Я пометил камень, видишь?
00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:32,460
Я слабею.
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:33,670
Мы далеко от деревьев.
00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:35,330
Они дают тебе силу, да?
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,340
Что? Ты не должен этого знать.
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:39,050
Я исследую и узнаю.
00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,300
Никто не должен знать ничего.
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,720
Я не должен ходить.
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,800
Слабые не должны быть сильными.
00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:47,350
Я должен сосать водоросли на камне в...
00:09:47,430 --> 00:09:48,680
В темноте.
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,600
Порядок природы несправедлив.
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,310
Я сделаю устройство, с которым ты сможешь покинуть лес.
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,900
Лес покидает меня.
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:58,570
Ваш город пожирает деревья, оставляя после себя дерьмо.
00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:00,320
И ты не исследовал монстадона,
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,660
или знал бы, что его можно отпугнуть мочой гигантского скорпиона.
00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:08,370
Моча гигантского скорпиона, конечно!
00:10:08,450 --> 00:10:10,620
Природа едва ли устраивает взрывы?
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,710
Я мог бы расколоть камень в самом низу.
00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:13,870
Пробовал эти грибы?
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:18,790
Нет, спасибо. Я многое принимаю, чтобы не терять фокус, и мне не стоит их смешивать.
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,130
Нет, они взрываются, если поджечь.
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:24,380
Мы говорим человеческим детям, что это конфеты. Это смешно.
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:27,510
Убийство детей... Да, я вижу, что в этом смешного.
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,060
Мои стрелы сделаны их кремня.
00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:33,180
Нам нужно много грибов и какое-нибудь липкое вещество.
00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:34,480
Это у меня есть.
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,600
Точнее, есть на мне от природы.
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,440
Держать тебя за руку было мерзко.
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,190
Это мое репродуктивное желе.
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,030
Ты привыкнешь, мама.
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,570
- Извини, что?
- Шучу.
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:46,200
Это в основном слизь.
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:50,870
Гарпии!
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:51,950
Опять?
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,960
Мы же не лезли в их гнездо и не убивали их.
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:58,540
А нет, стойте. Вообще-то, мы это сделали. Забыл.
00:10:58,630 --> 00:11:00,500
- Ура!
- Как здорово!
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:04,590
Мне не терпится рассказать моим человеческим родителям об этом приключении!
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:08,510
Вы все делитесь своими достижениями со своими семьями,
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,470
или вы несколько эгоистичные и замкнутые?
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,850
- Что?
- Ты зовёшь это поддержкой?
00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:16,850
Мне сейчас тоже совсем нелегко.
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:19,230
Ты знаешь, как сильно я притворяюсь, что мои ноги болят?
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,520
О нет!
00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:22,650
Еще гарпии!
00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:24,280
- Стой, что?
- Мы идём!
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,200
Они нападают на Сьюзан!
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,870
Ты не станешь.
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:35,040
Стала. Ты убьёшь Сьюзан, потому что хочешь безраздельного внимания.
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,210
Или Сьюзан в порядке, потому что этого хочешь ты.
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:40,380
Мы уже близко! Держитесь!
00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:41,500
Поздно.
00:11:41,590 --> 00:11:43,090
Ее больше нет!
00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:49,200
Помогите!
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,250
- Нет!
- Сьюзан, нет!
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:55,710
Она мне очень, очень, очень нравилась!
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,170
Да, она понимала риск.
00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:59,500
Похороним ее по-геройски.
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:01,480
Сьюзан ненавидела похороны.
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,970
Она хотела, чтобы после смерти все забыли, что она когда-либо жила, и продолжили приключение.
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,680
Я думал позвать ее на свидание.
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,140
Я заметил. Она была попроще тех,
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:13,270
за кем ты обычно гоняешься, но ты всегда был саморазрушительным.
00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:15,230
Моя мама была сильной личностью.
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:19,020
Да, и мы ищем похожих на мам, потому что хотим всё повторить и исправить.
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:22,280
И относимся к женщинам как к мусору, потому что мы дети.
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:27,740
Настоящий мужчина, уверенный и зрелый мужчина, женится на Сьюзан и боготворит ее.
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,200
Мы сделаем это сегодня.
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,290
Помолимся у алтаря нашей богине Сьюзан!
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,620
Сьюзан!
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:36,370
Вот ты где.
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:40,750
Да уж, эти идиоты реально хотят, чтобы ты снял штаны.
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,710
А что насчёт вас?
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,590
У меня нет слов, насколько мне всё равно.
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:45,880
Расскажу тебе секрет.
00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,550
Я основал город не из уважения к людям.
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,300
Будь для меня работа получше и побезопаснее,
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:53,180
на которой можно меньше общаться людьми, меня бы тут не было.
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:56,350
От мысли о том, что чьи-то штаны могут стоить мне всего...
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,810
То есть не только мне, всему городу, жизням людей.
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,570
Это просто нелепо!
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:02,650
Это бессмыслица!
00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:05,280
Ты согласен, да? Это бессмы...
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:07,910
Где мужик в штанах?
00:13:07,990 --> 00:13:08,910
Был здесь, но...
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:10,620
Ты что-то ему сказал?
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:11,740
Ну, ничего нового.
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:12,740
Ты знаешь мою позицию.
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:13,870
У тебя ее нет.
00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:15,000
Это тоже позиция.
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,080
Спорить не стану.
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,500
Ты мне всегда за это нравился.
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,500
Ладно, идём на поиски, пока его не убили.
00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:25,010
Мужик в штанах!
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:28,550
Мы собрались почтить память Сьюзан, что не было моей идеей.
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:32,850
Она была более властной, чем люди думали, и держалась за эту власть обеими руками.
00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:38,140
Она была так помешана на контроле, что я в шоке от того, что она лежит и не перебивает.
00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:41,610
- Уф.
- В чёрном юморе не должно быть больше юмора?
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:45,400
Да, цель обычно не в том чтобы принизить усопшего.
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,570
Угадайте что?
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,280
Я знала настоящую Сьюзан, а вы нет.
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:52,240
Так что дайте мне выговориться, или следующие похороны будут вашими.
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:53,740
- Можно и так.
- Справедливо.
00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:54,910
Да, да. Хорошо.
00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:56,290
Уверен, что это сработает?
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,580
Это одна из двух вероятностей.
00:13:58,670 --> 00:13:59,750
А вторая?
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:01,210
Нас завалит горой обломков.
00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:04,250
Ну, по крайней мере я умру с другом.
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:07,800
С червём? У него даже лица нет!
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,630
А, ты про меня.
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,550
Это... мило.
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,850
На заметку, лучше бы мы с тобой выжили.
00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:15,930
Очевидно, я тоже предпочту это.
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:18,230
Ладно, поехали.
00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:27,440
- Нам удалось!
- Сколько света!
00:14:27,530 --> 00:14:29,320
Я люблю природу!
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,030
Я люблю науку!
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:31,660
- Природа!
- Наука!
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:32,820
- Природа!
- Наука!
00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,870
Монстадон!
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,330
Вот он.
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,750
Похоже, что он предпочёл свободу.
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:45,840
Наверно, урок тут в том, что если дать время, многие проблемы решатся сами собой.
00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:55,930
А однажды она оставила меня на плоту - и под плотом я имею в виду кусок дерева -
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,850
чтобы пойти на подводную оргию во дворце Посейдона.
00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:00,890
Веселишься?
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,480
Сьюзан жива!
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,560
Сьюзан, я люблю тебя!
00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:05,860
Но почему нет крови?
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:10,940
По той же причине, почему у тебя нет шансов нескладный тупица. Я олимпийская богиня.
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,780
А также мать этой неблагодарной бестолочи,
00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:17,530
и это судя по всему худшее, что с ней когда-либо случалось!
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:18,660
Э, да.
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:22,040
И ты когда-нибудь забудешь про случай с Посейдоном?
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,750
Что я должна была сделать? Взять ребёнка на оргию?
00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:27,590
Она была под водой!
00:15:27,670 --> 00:15:28,750
Я предупреждала.
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,840
Я больше никогда с тобой не заговорю.
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:32,420
Уходи!
00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:35,720
Подождите, в нашем отряде искателей приключений есть богиня?
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,050
Она не в нашем отряде.
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:39,720
Разве что вам бы этого хотелось.
00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:40,570
Что?
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:43,890
Но дочь не хочет меня видеть, так что вам придётся выбрать.
00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:44,900
- Что?
- Тебя.
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:46,560
- Мы выбираем тебя!
- Я люблю тебя!
00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:47,900
Вы худшие!
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,730
Мы тебя поняли.
00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:52,740
И вопреки твоей траурной речи, у меня есть чувства.
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,070
Ты такая злая!
00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:57,300
Я согласен с твоей мамой. Ты плохая дочь.
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,490
- Да, но тебе нельзя это говорить.
- Да, мэм.
00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:06,240
Это было так просто.
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,240
Не верится, что твоя дочь нарочно выбирала трудный путь.
00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:11,750
- Обрекая себя на неудачу.
- Я негодую.
00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,920
Мы могли всё это время приключаться с Делирией.
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,000
Да, хорошая новость: мне всё даётся проще.
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:19,210
Плохая новость: заскучать мне тоже проще.
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,300
Давайте заканчивать.
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:24,180
Хм, ты и Ошеломисса очень похожи в этом отношений.
00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:27,010
Можешь своей магией вжикнуть оттуда тот шлем?
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,470
Ох.
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,510
Вжик.
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:35,730
Мы это сделали. Ура. Вернёмся домой и больше никогда не будем это повторять.
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:37,310
Нет, продолжим путь.
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,190
Впереди может быть больше приключений.
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,990
Ты что, впервые в приключении?
00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:47,490
Да что я тебе говорю. Ты идёшь с нами?
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:50,910
Я пошла на это, только чтобы провести время со своей идиотской дочерью.
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,250
И теперь я застряла с вами, ее еще более идиотскими друзьями.
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,170
Которые буквально бросили ее, и глазом не...
00:17:05,970 --> 00:17:07,260
Эй, Делирия!
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:11,920
Помнишь, как ты и твои олимпийские дружки заточили меня тысячи лет назад?
00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:12,970
япЕт?
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,180
Что здесь делает титан?
00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:16,100
Это нормально, когда такое случается?
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:18,060
Нет! Я не знаю, что это!
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,400
Боже правый!
00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:23,110
Все смертные изнутри такие?
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,070
Да, в целом всё так же.
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,610
А теперь твоя очередь.
00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:31,580
Со мной такого раньше не бывало, клянусь.
00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:36,210
Ты и остальные ублюдочные олимпийцы погребли меня в яме на веки вечные!
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,460
Причём яма была так себе!
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,420
Это были все другие олимпийцы!
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:44,210
Я пыталась им помешать. Я говорила: "Ребята, нет, это не круто. Япет лучший".
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:46,050
- Ложь!
- Ну да, очевидно.
00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:48,180
Будто ты был бы честен в моей ситуации.
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:53,060
Я всегда считала тебя красивым. Не в традиционном смысле.
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,060
Но для ужасного титана ты на десять из десяти!
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,480
Ты вернулась спасти меня!
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,320
Как и положено эпическим героям из легенд.
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,650
О, и все твои друзья мертвы.
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,860
Ты стоишь на том, что от них осталось.
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,460
Всё, у меня больше нет идей.
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:20,630
Нужно вернуть его обратно в яму и посыпать сверху магической грязью.
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:23,340
Она зачарована весить, как целый мир.
00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:25,210
Только так можно поймать титана.
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,220
Да-да, магическая грязь.
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:29,220
Мне нужно что-то попрочнее.
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:32,180
Я могла бы наколдовать тебе... У-у!
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,820
Вот как побеждают титанов.
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:45,980
Мы это сделали!
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,320
Ну, в основном ты.
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,450
Пошли домой.
00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:51,870
Наверное это из-за сотрясения, но я очень тобой горжусь.
00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,120
Мы хорошая команда.
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,410
Мы не станем это повторять.
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,200
Нет, ни за что на свете.
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,330
Эй, моча скорпиона!
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,590
И я не стал прибивать ее к дереву.
00:19:03,670 --> 00:19:04,790
Здорово.
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,340
Но это ничего не изменит.
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:09,050
Лес должен убить город или погибнуть, пытаясь.
00:19:09,090 --> 00:19:10,840
Я это уважаю!
00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:12,430
Я уважаю тебя.
00:19:12,510 --> 00:19:13,890
До свидания.
00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:15,390
Пока.
00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:20,890
Надо же!
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:28,110
С сегодняшнего дня я ношу штаны.
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,200
Еще я буду принимать новые законы, которые вам не понравятся.
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,200
Потому что они будут гарантировать свободу.
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,330
И сделать это можно, лишь отнимая свободу.
00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:40,080
Вот что бывает, когда избалованные дети балуются с игрушками. Их отбирают.
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,280
Человек оказался в опасности из-за того, что нам было некомфортно.
00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:48,450
Мы посчитали человека неудобным и убили его, вместе, не пошевелив и пальцем.
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,040
Это сила свободы.
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:55,250
Сила, с которой нам нельзя играть, пока мы не повзрослеем.
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:57,420
И мы повзрослеем.
00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:59,380
Мы возьмёмся за ум.
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:01,380
Мы станем большими и сильными.
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:03,470
Мы изменим свое отношение друг другу.
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,890
И таким образом мы изменим весь мир.
00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,680
И это сделает меня знаменитым.
00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:12,350
Это не обязательно должно быть в приоритете.
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,220
Это просто предсказуемый результат.
00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:17,980
Объявляю минуту молчания по мужику в штанах, кем бы он ни был.
00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,320
Кто-то знал его имя?
00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:22,320
Никто или это минута молчания?
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:23,950
Я не слышал его имя.
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,450
- Извините.
- Какой стыд.
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:28,870
Минута стыдного молчания по мужику в штанах.
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,370
Знаю, я сказал, что буду носить их всегда.
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:35,500
Но думаю, я донёс мысль. И они впиваются мне в зад.
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:37,380
Можно я перестану их носить?
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:38,460
Пожалуйста.
00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:39,340
Да, конечно.
00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,010
- Мы не против.
- Спасибо.
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:43,590
Позор нам и спасибо вам.
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:50,980
И почему это когда что-то пробивает нашу смертную кожу, из нас вытекает красная штука?
00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:53,190
Ей что, больше делать нечего?
00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:59,530
И что за дела с языками?
00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:04,450
Мы должны использовать мясо у себя во рту, чтобы почувствовать вкус другого мясо?
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:06,990
Кто это придумал?
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,500
Ты сказала им, что это она, да?
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:14,210
Я решила, так будет правильнее.
00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:19,880
И наши волосы продолжат расти, если их не подстричь, я права?
00:21:22,590 --> 00:21:24,380
- Это смешно!
- Спасибо!
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:27,760
Я Сьюзан, шутница!
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:03,608 --> 00:00:04,910
Because I'm drunk.
00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:06,781
[all cheer]
To drinking!
00:00:06,781 --> 00:00:08,216
You want to hear a joke?
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:12,124
Why do unicorns always walk
into the tub backwards?
00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:15,430
[laughter and jeers]
00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:19,640
My man, tell us about
your bold new lower human wear.
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,976
I call them pants.
00:00:20,976 --> 00:00:23,080
It's as if each leg
has its own toga.
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,017
Well done.
To pants!
00:00:25,017 --> 00:00:26,587
[chuckles] I like this guy.
00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:27,755
A round on me then.
00:00:27,755 --> 00:00:29,793
- Okay, but...
- What?
00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:31,096
Well, is your friend gonna
00:00:31,096 --> 00:00:32,532
stay in his funny
joke clothing?
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,905
Because it seems like
everyone's done laughing, so...
00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,776
Oh, that's fine.
They're not just funny.
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:38,844
They're practical. Look.
00:00:38,844 --> 00:00:40,014
If I drop something,
I can just--
00:00:40,014 --> 00:00:40,982
[crowd yelling]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:41,951
We don't bend over in public.
00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:42,953
Well, that's a rule
00:00:42,953 --> 00:00:44,255
based on togas though.
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:45,959
Think about it.
- You think about it!
00:00:45,959 --> 00:00:46,960
all: Yeah!
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,129
Here's a pitch:
00:00:48,129 --> 00:00:50,134
why don't we all stop thinking
as a team
00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,604
on the count of drinks.
00:00:51,604 --> 00:00:52,405
It's disruptive.
00:00:52,405 --> 00:00:54,241
You gotta take that off
or leave.
00:00:54,241 --> 00:00:56,246
- Take off my pants?
- Well, no, no.
00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:58,216
I'm not learning
your new language for them.
00:00:58,216 --> 00:01:00,253
You can be naked
like a creature
00:01:00,253 --> 00:01:04,729
or wear a toga like a person
if you want to drink here.
00:01:04,729 --> 00:01:05,965
I would like to drink here.
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,034
[crowd murmuring]
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,238
And I'll be doing it in pants.
00:01:09,238 --> 00:01:10,407
[crowd yelling]
- You know what?
00:01:10,508 --> 00:01:13,079
This establishment has just
lost my business
00:01:13,079 --> 00:01:15,151
and the punchline
to my unicorn joke,
00:01:15,151 --> 00:01:18,658
which I assure you
was delightfully erotic
00:01:18,658 --> 00:01:19,960
and mildly racist.
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,864
[yelling continues]
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:24,836
[dramatic lyre music]
00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:32,217
♪ ♪
00:01:38,096 --> 00:01:41,035
[rhythmic grunting]
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,739
♪ ♪
00:01:42,739 --> 00:01:44,609
all: Whoo!
00:01:46,947 --> 00:01:48,484
[whistles]
00:01:48,585 --> 00:01:50,889
Two more citizens eaten
outside the walls--
00:01:50,889 --> 00:01:51,857
monstadon.
00:01:51,857 --> 00:01:52,959
Again?
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,128
Aren't monstadons
supposed to be
00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:55,532
roaming man-eaters?
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,303
Perhaps they noticed
man stopped roaming.
00:01:58,403 --> 00:02:00,975
I'm glad modern life's
working out for someone.
00:02:00,975 --> 00:02:02,979
Stupendous,
do baby bro a solid.
00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:04,048
Slay a monstadon?
00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:05,685
I can't today.
I got a thing.
00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:06,385
A thing?
00:02:06,485 --> 00:02:08,157
Lots of people
tell their bosses
00:02:08,157 --> 00:02:09,292
when they have a thing.
00:02:09,292 --> 00:02:11,362
Okay, I have a head to crush
00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:13,935
with my bare hands
one question from now.
00:02:13,935 --> 00:02:14,903
I won't keep you.
00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:16,339
You can't crush my head.
00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:18,343
What thing do you have?
- It's none of your business.
00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:21,082
And if you turn into an animal
and follow me, I'll know.
00:02:21,082 --> 00:02:22,819
You're hardly
that intriguing.
00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:24,322
Don't flatter yourself.
00:02:24,322 --> 00:02:26,660
Mom, can you deal
with this monstadon?
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:27,896
Uh, maybe.
00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:30,034
I--I might have a thing.
00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:32,071
[quietly]
Intriguing little bitch.
00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:34,342
I'd love to hunt
this monstadon down.
00:02:34,342 --> 00:02:36,848
What kind of coward sends
his differently abled brother
00:02:36,848 --> 00:02:37,849
to fight a monster?
00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:39,051
A busy coward?
00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:40,254
- Am I busy?
- Son,
00:02:40,254 --> 00:02:42,526
a human friend of mine
has just been
00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:45,364
refused beverage service
because of his clothing.
00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:47,468
Really?
It appears not all monsters
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,339
are slain with weapons
in the woods.
00:02:49,339 --> 00:02:51,075
Yeah, you slay that one.
00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:52,946
I'll grab a weapon
and head for the woods.
00:02:52,946 --> 00:02:54,683
Teamwork.
00:02:54,683 --> 00:02:56,252
Okay, uh--
00:02:56,252 --> 00:02:57,823
- They're pants.
- They?
00:02:57,823 --> 00:02:59,091
There's more than one?
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,327
You know what this
reminds me of?
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:05,304
Remember that Ethiopian fella
with the, uh--the nutty tunic?
00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:06,673
- Shirt.
- The shirt!
00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:09,145
It's like an upside-down shirt
for your ass.
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,046
So what's the problem?
00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:12,250
We were
forcibly ejected from a bar!
00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,956
Have you ever left a bar
voluntarily, Dad?
00:03:14,956 --> 00:03:16,092
Fair point.
No way of knowing.
00:03:16,092 --> 00:03:17,394
I don't mean to be rude.
00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:19,900
Can I ask what happens
when you have to,
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,837
you know, release the kraken?
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:22,806
I pull them down.
00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:23,874
Pull them down?
00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:24,976
Okay, but then you're
00:03:24,976 --> 00:03:26,747
squatting over a net, which--
00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:27,749
[scoffs]
Look, I'm sorry.
00:03:27,883 --> 00:03:30,320
It's not your job to defend
or explain what you do.
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,990
Krapopolis is a free city.
00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:33,226
Good show, son.
00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:34,362
So you'll speak to the bar.
00:03:34,362 --> 00:03:35,297
Whoa.
[chuckles]
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,167
What do you want me to do,
pass a law?
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:38,170
I don't want anything.
00:03:38,170 --> 00:03:39,305
I don't do politics.
00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:41,276
But it's the only bar.
00:03:41,276 --> 00:03:42,612
A law would be great.
00:03:42,612 --> 00:03:44,549
Yeah, everyone always
thinks that.
00:03:44,549 --> 00:03:46,419
But freedom's
a double-edged sword--
00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:49,058
or a double-sleeved ass tunic.
00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:50,327
You get to wear
anything you want.
00:03:50,327 --> 00:03:52,231
The bar gets to serve
whoever they want.
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,002
Everyone gets to blame
the results on me,
00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:55,137
and I get my own chef.
00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:56,238
It's a pretty good system.
00:03:56,238 --> 00:03:57,742
Nice to meet you.
Love the pants.
00:03:57,742 --> 00:04:00,280
They got me out
of a terrifying monster hunt.
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,117
If you're not a fan
of unicorns,
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,888
but you're a fan of sodomy,
00:04:03,888 --> 00:04:06,392
have I got a joke for you.
00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:09,666
[pig snorting,
monstadon growling]
00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:15,377
Buddy, you are ugly.
00:04:15,377 --> 00:04:17,548
And that's me talking.
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,218
What the--
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,122
[grunting]
00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:25,030
You're that hot tree lady
from that horrible party.
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,365
Check out
last week's episode,
00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:28,169
curated on the Block Chain.
00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:29,606
There's an order
to the forest.
00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:31,476
We don't just kill
what doesn't please us.
00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:32,578
[scoffs]
I don't think
00:04:32,679 --> 00:04:34,849
your friend over there
knows the rules.
00:04:36,687 --> 00:04:38,524
It's not killing.
It's feeding.
00:04:38,524 --> 00:04:41,295
[scoffs] Does the food
share that perspective?
00:04:41,295 --> 00:04:42,398
[monstadon growls]
00:04:42,498 --> 00:04:44,067
You'll have to let me know.
00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:47,374
[monstadon growling
and snarling]
00:04:50,515 --> 00:04:52,217
- [grunts]
- You're alive.
00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:53,955
No thanks to nature.
00:04:53,955 --> 00:04:55,758
[monstadon snarling]
00:04:55,758 --> 00:04:57,728
[both yelping]
00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:05,343
Uh, I--I feel like it doesn't
know you're on its side.
00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,682
- Grow up.
- You can't make me!
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,688
[birds chirping]
00:05:16,365 --> 00:05:18,035
Hail, everybody.
00:05:18,035 --> 00:05:19,673
all: Hail our great hero!
00:05:19,673 --> 00:05:21,877
The ill-tempered,
foulmouthed,
00:05:21,877 --> 00:05:25,150
and extremely pungent
Fantabulous!
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,021
Don't forget impatient.
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:28,991
So next time, keep it short.
00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,126
What's our next quest?
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:31,764
Fantabulous?
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:32,766
Quest?
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:33,466
Hero?
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,270
[twig snaps, deer bleats]
00:05:35,270 --> 00:05:36,940
[scoffs]
Push on, bucko.
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:37,976
You're in over your antlers.
00:05:37,976 --> 00:05:39,947
And so we set out
00:05:39,947 --> 00:05:41,449
for the peaks of Olygyrtos
00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:44,155
to retrieve the fabled
Helmet of Iapetus.
00:05:44,155 --> 00:05:45,157
- Huzzah!
- Yeah!
00:05:45,157 --> 00:05:46,927
Hey!
[magical thwap]
00:05:47,027 --> 00:05:48,296
It came from over there,
00:05:48,296 --> 00:05:51,202
by the deer next
to the pile of ashes.
00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:53,172
I may have been followed.
00:05:53,172 --> 00:05:55,010
I'll meet you guys
at the ice caves.
00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,045
Go.
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,688
I say don't do this,
so you do it?
00:06:00,688 --> 00:06:04,395
Why are you heroically
questing under a fake name?
00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:06,232
If it's escapism,
shouldn't your character be
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,002
feminine and hygienic?
00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:09,706
I can make you those things.
00:06:09,706 --> 00:06:12,344
I've been offering
since puberty.
00:06:12,344 --> 00:06:14,682
I'm escapism-ing
from you, Mom!
00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:16,786
I don't mind being known
as your daughter,
00:06:16,786 --> 00:06:19,225
but I don't want
everything I've accomplished
00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:20,460
to be attached to your name.
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:21,763
[scoffs] Too bad!
00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:24,302
Why do you think
the gods make children?
00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:26,372
They're drunk and horny.
00:06:26,372 --> 00:06:27,809
I mean, why do we keep them?
00:06:27,809 --> 00:06:30,815
Because they might become
heroes and make us proud.
00:06:30,815 --> 00:06:33,621
Now I find out you've been
doing it behind my back?
00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:35,624
Well, happy your birthday
to me.
00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:37,294
If you can't
support me having
00:06:37,294 --> 00:06:38,731
something that isn't about you,
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,467
then I got no reason
to be your daughter.
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:41,970
Well, guess what?
00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:45,310
If you can't include me in this
and let me prove you wrong,
00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,815
I'll make sure
everyone in the world knows
00:06:47,815 --> 00:06:48,751
I'm your mother.
00:06:48,884 --> 00:06:52,190
This is the most insulting
showdown of my life.
00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:54,529
[wind whistling]
00:06:54,529 --> 00:06:57,468
Okay, so apparently
I was followed.
00:06:57,468 --> 00:06:59,472
But it's okay.
It was just...
00:06:59,472 --> 00:07:02,244
[sighs]
My friend Susan.
00:07:02,244 --> 00:07:05,383
Hello, it's Susan,
the funny one.
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,756
I enjoy eating food,
drinking liquids,
00:07:07,756 --> 00:07:09,859
and breathing in and out.
00:07:09,859 --> 00:07:11,529
[sighs]
00:07:14,035 --> 00:07:15,270
[electrical zapping]
00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:17,007
- [yells]
- [grunts]
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:18,811
[monster growling]
00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:19,879
[grunts]
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,187
[yelling]
00:07:24,187 --> 00:07:27,228
[both grunting]
00:07:27,228 --> 00:07:29,666
Isn't she something?
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:32,539
Comments weren't part
of the deal, Susan.
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,709
We're nothing
without Fantabulous.
00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:37,615
Weird question--does that
ever make you resent her?
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:39,519
Resent her?
We're a team!
00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:42,290
But that doesn't
make you want to sneak off
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,593
and do things without her.
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,496
Hey, Susan,
your head's normal,
00:07:45,496 --> 00:07:48,269
so it does stop talking
if I put a fist through it.
00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:49,505
- Whoa.
- Uh, yikes.
00:07:49,505 --> 00:07:50,674
[chuckling]
Not my place to say,
00:07:50,674 --> 00:07:52,746
but I'm not sure
Susan deserved that.
00:07:52,746 --> 00:07:56,185
Yeah, she almost celebrates
how humble and ordinary she is.
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,320
Which I find refreshing.
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,356
Can we get going?
00:07:58,356 --> 00:07:59,392
Lot of ground to cover.
00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:01,630
Yes, and we cannot fly.
00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,935
It is cold in here, correct?
00:08:03,935 --> 00:08:04,736
Brrr!
00:08:04,836 --> 00:08:06,606
We get cold
when we're around ice.
00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:08,142
I am certain that's accurate.
00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:09,211
[laughter]
00:08:09,211 --> 00:08:10,815
Susan, you are a delight.
00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:13,687
- Oh, absolutely.
- Uh-huh, yep, she is.
00:08:15,725 --> 00:08:17,261
Hold on.
My torch is low.
00:08:17,261 --> 00:08:18,598
You must be devastated
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,433
that there's nothing
to burn down here.
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,468
I can see.
Follow me.
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,106
Okay, but--
00:08:23,106 --> 00:08:24,375
[whimpering]
00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:25,377
Are you crying?
00:08:25,377 --> 00:08:26,446
No.
00:08:26,446 --> 00:08:28,215
I hear the same sound.
00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:29,452
I think it's a freak draft
00:08:29,452 --> 00:08:31,255
or a sad stalagmite.
00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:32,725
You're afraid of the dark.
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,862
In science
we call that a theory.
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,201
Good luck proving it.
[sniffling]
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,336
What's with the worm?
00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:39,506
It's part
of the natural world,
00:08:39,506 --> 00:08:41,108
emits light
without you chopping it down.
00:08:41,108 --> 00:08:42,845
But you don't need it,
so I'll just--
00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:44,849
Keep the worm on!
Keep the worm on!
00:08:44,849 --> 00:08:47,421
- What does science call that?
- Bullying.
00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:49,458
[shouting and jeering]
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:51,095
Stop! Break it up!
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:51,896
Now what?
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,134
Pants Guy tried
to get back into the bar!
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,369
Because I like drinking!
00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,208
And I wear pants!
00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:58,476
Okay, first of all,
00:08:58,476 --> 00:09:00,948
this city's angry mob
threshold is too low.
00:09:00,948 --> 00:09:01,683
[mob yelling]
00:09:01,683 --> 00:09:03,654
Sounds like you know I'm right!
00:09:03,654 --> 00:09:05,356
Dad?
[boos and jeers]
00:09:05,356 --> 00:09:07,427
Now you're protecting
Pants Guy?
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:09,465
- Pants Guy has a name.
- And I don't?
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,235
I'll learn yours
when you learn his.
00:09:11,235 --> 00:09:12,370
What's his?
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,208
[spluttering]
It doesn't matter.
00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:15,377
Just get back to your lives.
00:09:15,377 --> 00:09:16,346
Whatever, man!
[mob grumbling]
00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:17,849
Yeah, grumble, grumble,
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,619
worst king ever--
like I'm the problem.
00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:20,922
Thanks for a tough lesson,
by the way.
00:09:20,922 --> 00:09:23,794
I'd rather be fighting
a monstadon.
00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:26,265
This is the same cavern.
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:27,467
No, it's not.
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,238
Daphne, I'm not just
being a dick.
00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:30,674
I marked this rock, see?
00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,343
[sighs]
I'm getting weak.
00:09:32,343 --> 00:09:33,680
We're pretty far
from the trees.
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,383
That's where you get
your power, right?
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,354
What? You're not
supposed to know that.
00:09:37,454 --> 00:09:39,091
I research.
I learn.
00:09:39,091 --> 00:09:41,328
Nobody's supposed
to know anything.
00:09:41,328 --> 00:09:42,732
I'm not supposed to walk.
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,702
The weak aren't supposed
to be strong.
00:09:44,702 --> 00:09:47,407
I'm supposed to be
sucking algae off a rock in--
00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:48,644
In the darkness.
00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:50,648
Nature's order isn't fair.
00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:51,750
I could make you equipment
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,353
that would let you leave
the forest.
00:09:53,353 --> 00:09:54,956
The forest is leaving me.
00:09:54,956 --> 00:09:58,630
Your city eats trees
and craps... crap.
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,399
And you never researched
the monstadon,
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,505
or you'd know you can
keep it away from your city
00:10:02,505 --> 00:10:04,643
with giant scorpion urine.
00:10:04,743 --> 00:10:08,416
Giant scorpion urine,
of course!
00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:10,688
I don't suppose
nature makes explosions?
00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:12,792
I could fracture this rock
at the base.
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:13,961
Have you tried
these mushrooms?
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,098
No, thanks.
I take a lot of stuff
00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:18,871
just to stay focused,
and I probably shouldn't mix.
00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:21,175
No, we light them,
and they explode.
00:10:21,175 --> 00:10:23,445
We give them to human children
and say they're candy.
00:10:23,445 --> 00:10:24,481
It's hilarious.
00:10:24,481 --> 00:10:25,584
Killing kids...
[chuckles]
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,622
Yeah, I can see
how that's funny.
00:10:27,622 --> 00:10:29,157
Okay, my arrows are made
of flint.
00:10:29,157 --> 00:10:31,630
We'll need a lot of these
and some kind of, um,
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,299
sticky substance.
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,568
That I've got covered,
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,673
or I'm covered in
very naturally.
00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:38,510
Holding your hand
was disgusting.
00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:40,280
That's just
my reproductive jelly.
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,983
You'll get used to it, Mom.
00:10:41,983 --> 00:10:43,654
- I'm sorry, what?
- I'm kidding.
00:10:43,654 --> 00:10:46,158
It's mostly mucus.
00:10:46,158 --> 00:10:48,930
[creatures screeching]
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:51,201
Harpies!
00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:52,070
Again?
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,040
We don't go into their nest
and kill them.
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,347
Oh, no, wait.
We actually did do that before.
00:10:57,347 --> 00:10:58,551
My bad.
[Harpies shrieking]
00:10:58,551 --> 00:11:00,621
all: Huzzah!
- So great!
00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:04,729
I can't wait to tell my human
parents about this adventure!
00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,065
Does everyone here share
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,637
their accomplishments
with your families,
00:11:08,637 --> 00:11:12,612
or are--are you kind of
selfish and isolated?
00:11:12,612 --> 00:11:14,849
[quietly] What?
- You call this supporting me?
00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,986
I'm putting up
with a lot here, girl.
00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:19,357
Do you know how much
I'm pretending my feet hurt?
00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:20,661
Oh, no!
00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:22,731
Another Harpy!
00:11:22,731 --> 00:11:24,401
- Wait, what?
- We're coming!
00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:27,340
They're all attacking Susan!
00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:30,013
You wouldn't.
00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:32,785
You would.
You'd murder Susan,
00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:35,156
because you can't share
a sliver of attention.
00:11:35,156 --> 00:11:38,395
Or Susan's just fine,
because you can't.
00:11:38,395 --> 00:11:40,534
Almost there!
Hold on!
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,670
It's too late.
00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,239
She's gone.
00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:48,950
[flatly] Help!
00:11:49,786 --> 00:11:51,857
both: No!
- Susan, no!
00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:55,463
I really, really, really,
really liked her!
00:11:55,463 --> 00:11:56,933
Yeah, she knew the risks.
00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,271
We'll give her
a hero's funeral.
00:11:59,271 --> 00:12:01,810
Susan hated funerals.
She said when she died,
00:12:01,810 --> 00:12:04,348
she wanted everyone
to forget she ever lived
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,784
and go back to questing.
00:12:05,885 --> 00:12:07,487
I was considering
asking her out.
00:12:07,487 --> 00:12:09,959
I can see that.
She was plainer than the type
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:12,832
you tend to pursue, but you've
always been self-destructive.
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,036
Well, you know, my mom was
such a big personality.
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:16,840
Yep, and then we look
for our moms
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,810
because we want to revisit
and fix things.
00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:20,815
And then we treat women
like garbage
00:12:20,815 --> 00:12:21,984
because we're babies.
00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:25,925
A real man, a confident,
mature man ends up with a Susan
00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:27,562
and straight up worships her.
00:12:27,562 --> 00:12:28,830
We'll do that tonight,
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:32,103
an altar and a prayer
to our goddess, Susan!
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:33,439
both: Susan!
00:12:33,439 --> 00:12:35,143
[groans]
00:12:35,143 --> 00:12:36,178
There you are.
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:39,452
Wow, those idiots out there
really want you
00:12:39,452 --> 00:12:40,554
to take off your pants.
00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:41,556
What about you?
00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:42,725
I can't stress enough
00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:44,461
how little I care, buddy.
00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:45,496
Let me tell you a secret.
00:12:45,496 --> 00:12:47,367
I didn't start a city
because I respect people.
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,106
If there were a better,
safer job that I could pull off
00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:52,277
more convincingly by talking
to less of them,
00:12:52,277 --> 00:12:52,945
I'd be out of here.
00:12:52,945 --> 00:12:54,749
The idea that someone's pants
00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,185
could end up
costing me everything--
00:12:56,185 --> 00:12:59,659
I mean, not just me,
the whole city, people's lives.
00:12:59,659 --> 00:13:01,328
I mean, it's ridiculous!
00:13:01,328 --> 00:13:02,497
It's pointless!
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:03,600
You agree with that, right?
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,102
It's--it's point--
00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:07,741
Where's Pants Guy?
00:13:07,741 --> 00:13:08,777
He was here, but--
00:13:08,777 --> 00:13:10,480
Did you say something to him?
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,583
I mean, nothing new.
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,619
You know my position.
00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:13,654
I know you don't have one.
00:13:13,654 --> 00:13:14,856
Which is the one to have.
00:13:14,856 --> 00:13:15,957
I don't disagree.
00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:18,362
I've always liked that
about you.
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,372
Okay, we better find him
before he gets killed.
00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:24,842
Pants Guy!
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,813
We are gathered
to honor Susan,
00:13:26,813 --> 00:13:28,416
which was not my idea.
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,721
She was more powerful
than people know,
00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,692
did not like letting go
of that power.
00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:34,929
In fact, she was
such a control freak,
00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:36,834
I'm pretty shocked
she can handle laying here
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:38,002
without interrupting.
00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,772
- Oof.
- Shouldn't gallows humor
00:13:39,772 --> 00:13:41,510
have more humor?
00:13:41,510 --> 00:13:43,780
Yeah, the goal
isn't typically
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,450
to take the deceased
down a peg.
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,385
Well, guess what?
00:13:46,385 --> 00:13:48,188
I knew the real Susan,
and you guys didn't.
00:13:48,188 --> 00:13:50,661
So you can let me get
some stuff off my chest,
00:13:50,661 --> 00:13:52,130
or you can be the next funeral.
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:53,633
- And that's fine too.
- Fair enough.
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,736
Yes, yes.
Okay. All right.
00:13:54,736 --> 00:13:56,138
Are you sure
this is gonna work?
00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,443
That's definitely one
of two possibilities.
00:13:58,443 --> 00:13:59,478
- The other?
- Mm.
00:13:59,478 --> 00:14:01,081
We die buried
under a mountain of rubble.
00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:04,354
Well, at least I'd get
to die with a friend.
00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:05,122
The worm?
00:14:05,223 --> 00:14:07,695
That thing doesn't
even have a face!
00:14:07,695 --> 00:14:09,532
Oh, you meant me.
00:14:09,532 --> 00:14:11,302
That's... nice.
00:14:11,302 --> 00:14:13,773
For the record,
I'd rather us both survive.
00:14:13,773 --> 00:14:15,845
Obviously,
that's my preference too.
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,115
Okay, here we go.
00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:25,063
[panting]
00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:27,333
- We did it!
- There's so much light!
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,271
I love nature!
00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:29,940
I love science!
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:32,744
- Nature!
- Science!
00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:34,783
[monstadon growling]
both: Monstadon!
00:14:34,783 --> 00:14:36,284
[monstadon snarls
and screeches]
00:14:37,286 --> 00:14:38,256
There he is.
00:14:38,256 --> 00:14:40,661
I guess he'd rather
be somewhere free.
00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:43,232
I think the lesson here is
that if you give things
00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:45,770
enough time, most issues
work themselves out.
00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:47,541
[screaming]
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,512
[monstadon roars]
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,820
And then there was this time
she left me on a raft--
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:55,891
and by raft,
I mean a scrap of wood--
00:14:55,891 --> 00:14:58,463
so she could go
to an underwater orgy
00:14:58,463 --> 00:14:59,832
at Poseidon's palace.
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:00,867
Are you having fun?
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,404
[all exclaim]
- Susan's alive!
00:15:02,404 --> 00:15:04,408
Susan, I love you!
00:15:04,408 --> 00:15:05,611
But why don't you bleed?
00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:07,447
For the same reason
you don't have a shot,
00:15:07,447 --> 00:15:08,215
you gangly dork.
00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:10,888
I'm an Olympian goddess.
[all gasp]
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:13,727
I'm also this ungrateful
meatball's mother,
00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:15,697
which is apparently
the worst thing
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,502
that has ever happened to her!
00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:18,637
Uh, yeah.
00:15:18,637 --> 00:15:19,973
And will you ever let
00:15:19,973 --> 00:15:22,009
the Poseidon thing go?
00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:25,717
What was I supposed to do,
bring a child to an orgy?
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,588
It was underwater!
00:15:27,588 --> 00:15:28,723
I warned you.
00:15:28,723 --> 00:15:30,861
I am never speaking
to you again.
00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:32,430
Now go away!
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,602
Wait, hold on.
We have a goddess
00:15:34,602 --> 00:15:35,937
in our adventuring party?
00:15:35,937 --> 00:15:37,006
She's not in our party.
00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:39,712
Unless that's something
you think you'd want.
00:15:39,712 --> 00:15:41,048
- What?
- But my daughter can't
00:15:41,048 --> 00:15:43,887
be around me,
so I guess you have to choose.
00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:44,889
- What?
- Uh, you.
00:15:44,889 --> 00:15:46,593
- We choose you!
- I love you!
00:15:46,693 --> 00:15:47,895
You're the worst!
00:15:47,895 --> 00:15:49,599
You made that clear.
00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:51,401
And contrary to your eulogy,
00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:52,738
I do have feelings.
00:15:52,738 --> 00:15:54,308
So mean!
00:15:54,308 --> 00:15:55,210
I'm on your mom's side.
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,782
You're a bad daughter.
- Yes, but you don't
00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:59,484
get to say that.
- Yes, ma'am.
00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:06,098
That was so easy.
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,568
I can't believe
your daughter was actually
00:16:07,568 --> 00:16:09,070
choosing to do things
the hard way.
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:11,509
- Setting herself up to fail.
- Well, it's annoying.
00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:13,747
We could have been questing
the Deliria way all along.
00:16:13,747 --> 00:16:16,820
Yes, the good news is,
everything comes easier to me.
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,924
The bad news is,
that includes getting bored.
00:16:18,924 --> 00:16:20,126
Let's finish this up.
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:22,063
Hmm.
You and Fantabulous
00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:24,000
are very similar
in that regard.
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,873
Can you magically zap out
that helmet for us?
00:16:26,873 --> 00:16:28,308
Ugh.
00:16:28,308 --> 00:16:29,344
Zap.
00:16:32,016 --> 00:16:33,953
We did it. Hooray.
Quest over.
00:16:33,953 --> 00:16:35,591
Let's go home
and never do this again.
00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:37,193
Nay, the quest continues!
00:16:37,193 --> 00:16:40,065
There may be
more adventure ahead.
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,869
Jeez, first time questing much?
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:44,542
[laughter]
00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:46,178
Told you, adventure.
00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:47,314
You coming?
- I only did this
00:16:47,414 --> 00:16:50,788
so I could spend some time
with my stupid idiot daughter.
00:16:50,788 --> 00:16:52,224
And now I'm stuck with you,
00:16:52,224 --> 00:16:55,129
her even bigger
stupid idiot "friends"
00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:57,033
who literally abandoned her
at the drop of a--
00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,304
[foundation rumbling,
all yelling]
00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:04,782
[roars]
00:17:04,782 --> 00:17:05,817
[groans]
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,119
Hey, Deliria!
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,390
Remember when you
and your Olympic butt-buddies
00:17:09,491 --> 00:17:11,762
imprisoned me
thousands of years ago?
00:17:11,762 --> 00:17:12,865
Iapetus?
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,100
Why is a Titan here?
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,937
Is this a normal part
of your whole thing?
00:17:15,937 --> 00:17:17,942
No!
I don't know what this is!
00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:20,480
[screaming]
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,281
Good God!
00:17:21,382 --> 00:17:23,018
Is that what's
inside all mortals?
00:17:23,018 --> 00:17:24,054
[both yelling]
00:17:24,054 --> 00:17:25,958
Yeah, same basic setup.
00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:27,594
And now to deal with you.
00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:31,468
That has never happened
to me before, I swear.
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,974
You and the rest
of those bastard Olympians
00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:36,111
buried me in a pit
for all eternity!
00:17:36,111 --> 00:17:37,380
And it wasn't even a nice pit!
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,351
No, that was
all the other Olympians!
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:42,123
I tried to stop them.
I was like, guys, no.
00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:44,161
Not cool.
Iapetus is the best.
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:45,998
- Liar!
- Well, yes, obviously.
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,101
Like you'd be super honest
in my situation.
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,073
- [growling]
- [yelps]
00:17:50,073 --> 00:17:51,709
I've always thought
you were handsome,
00:17:51,709 --> 00:17:52,911
not in the traditional sense.
00:17:52,911 --> 00:17:54,982
But as horrific Titans go,
you're a 10!
00:17:54,982 --> 00:17:57,655
- [growling]
- [yells]
00:17:57,655 --> 00:18:00,393
You came back to save me!
00:18:00,393 --> 00:18:03,298
That's what epic heroes
of legend do.
00:18:03,298 --> 00:18:04,601
Oh, and all
your friends are dead.
00:18:04,601 --> 00:18:06,806
You're actually standing
in some of them right now.
00:18:06,806 --> 00:18:07,841
Ugh.
00:18:07,841 --> 00:18:11,214
[roaring]
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:13,653
[grunts]
00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:17,394
Okay, now I'm out of ideas.
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:19,130
We need to get him back
in his hole
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,601
and put some of that
magic dirt on top.
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:23,272
It's enchanted to weigh
as much as the entire world.
00:18:23,272 --> 00:18:25,176
That's the only way
to trap a Titan.
00:18:25,176 --> 00:18:27,180
That's right, magic dirt.
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:29,151
I'm gonna need something
sturdier than this.
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,654
I suppose I could
conjure you up--
00:18:30,754 --> 00:18:32,123
ooh!
00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:33,125
- [yelling]
- [shrieking]
00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:34,662
- [grunting]
- Aah!
00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:36,498
Oof!
00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:39,505
[grunting]
00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:42,210
[groaning]
00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:44,815
And that's
how you take out a Titan.
00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:45,984
We did it!
00:18:45,984 --> 00:18:47,554
Well, mostly you.
00:18:47,554 --> 00:18:48,455
Let's go home.
00:18:48,455 --> 00:18:50,125
This is probably
the concussion talking,
00:18:50,225 --> 00:18:51,863
but I am very proud of you.
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:53,132
We make a pretty good team.
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,367
We're never doing this again.
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,171
No, not in a million years.
00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:01,314
Oh, hey, scorpion urine!
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,586
And I didn't nail it to a tree.
00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:04,822
That's nice.
00:19:04,922 --> 00:19:06,324
This still doesn't
end well though.
00:19:06,324 --> 00:19:09,063
The forest has to kill the city
or die trying.
00:19:09,063 --> 00:19:10,834
I respect that!
00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,437
I respect you.
00:19:12,437 --> 00:19:13,907
Goodbye.
00:19:13,907 --> 00:19:15,409
Bye.
00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:18,583
[crowd murmuring]
00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:19,819
[all gasping]
00:19:19,819 --> 00:19:20,921
My word!
00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:23,659
[murmuring continues]
00:19:25,263 --> 00:19:28,135
Starting today,
I'll be wearing pants.
00:19:28,135 --> 00:19:29,872
I'll also be declaring
new laws,
00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:31,174
laws you won't like
00:19:31,174 --> 00:19:33,211
because they will be laws
that guarantee freedom,
00:19:33,211 --> 00:19:36,117
and they can only do that
by taking freedom away.
00:19:36,117 --> 00:19:37,487
That's what happens
when spoiled children
00:19:37,487 --> 00:19:40,093
abuse their toys--
they get confiscated.
00:19:40,093 --> 00:19:41,261
We drove a man into danger
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,131
because we wanted
to feel comfort.
00:19:43,131 --> 00:19:47,006
We found a person inconvenient,
so we killed him, together,
00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:48,241
without lifting a finger.
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,880
That's the power of freedom,
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:55,089
power we are not allowed
to play with until we grow up.
00:19:55,089 --> 00:19:57,294
And we are going to grow up.
00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:59,264
We are going
to get our crap together.
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,267
We are going
to get big and strong.
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,305
We're going to change
how we treat each other,
00:20:03,406 --> 00:20:06,746
and that's how we're going
to change the entire world.
00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:09,518
And that's why
I'm gonna be famous.
00:20:09,518 --> 00:20:12,156
W-we--we don't have
to make that the priority.
00:20:12,256 --> 00:20:13,392
I'm just predicting that
as a result.
00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:15,429
I'd like a moment of silence
00:20:15,429 --> 00:20:17,868
for whatever
Pants Guy's name was.
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:20,205
Did anyone get his name?
00:20:20,205 --> 00:20:22,209
Is that a no, or is this
the moment of silence?
00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:23,846
[crowd murmuring]
- I didn't hear his name.
00:20:23,846 --> 00:20:25,182
- Sorry.
- Shameful.
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:28,756
A moment of shameful silence
for Pants Guy.
00:20:30,426 --> 00:20:32,296
I know I said I was going
to wear these forever,
00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:33,567
but I think I've made my point,
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,402
and they're really pinching
my crack.
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,140
Is it okay
if I stop wearing these?
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,242
[crowd chattering]
- Please.
00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:39,210
- Yeah, sure.
- Sure, that's fine.
00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:40,881
- We don't mind.
- Thank you.
00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:43,485
Shame on us, and thank you.
00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:48,094
And what's up with how
when something pierces
00:20:48,094 --> 00:20:50,801
our mortal skin,
red stuff comes out?
00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:53,105
I mean, red stuff much?
00:20:53,105 --> 00:20:56,445
[laughter]
00:20:56,445 --> 00:20:59,284
And what is up with tongues?
00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:02,156
We have to use
our own mouth meat
00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:04,361
just to taste other meat?
00:21:04,361 --> 00:21:06,932
[laughs]
Who came up with that?
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,439
[laughter]
00:21:10,439 --> 00:21:12,410
You told them it's her,
didn't you?
00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:14,113
Seemed like
the right thing to do.
00:21:14,113 --> 00:21:16,619
And our hair
just keeps growing
00:21:16,619 --> 00:21:19,792
unless we cut it off,
am I right?
00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:22,397
[laughter]
00:21:22,497 --> 00:21:24,334
- That's good!
- Thank you!
00:21:24,434 --> 00:21:27,675
I'm Susan, the funny one!
00:21:27,675 --> 00:21:30,714
[laughter]
00:21:31,014 --> 00:21:32,617
Did you get any of that?
00:21:34,889 --> 00:21:35,857
Bento.
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