Покупайте дешево, продавайте дорого

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- Исходя из чего?

- Точно не из вашего настроя, ребята.

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Вы воротилы Крапополиса, которые устроят ему встряску.

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Я ворочаю только навозом, который выношу из конюшен.

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А меня самого трясёт от опасного недоедания.

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И всё же лучше вас никого нет.

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Поверьте, я об этом жалею сильнее всех.

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Разве вы не хотите оставить наследие? Внести свой вклад?

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Согласитесь, в последнее время город вышел на плато.

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Что в этом плохого? Плато это стабильность.

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Может, вы не заметили, но мы живём в опасное время. Он только что умер.

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Так наделим его жизнь смыслом, сделав это собрание значимым.

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Цивилизации нужен пинок под зад.

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Кто протянет ногу помощи?

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Ясно, ты тоже мёртв.

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Но разве это не наполняет оставшихся чувством срочности?

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Мы вышли из леса десять лет назад. По-моему мы молодцы.

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Как можно довольствоваться этой посредственностью?

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Мы можем лучше. И мы сделаем лучше.

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Похоже, вы со всем разобрались. Прервёмся на полдня?

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Хоть на весь. Вы все уволены.

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И вы тоже шли бы.

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Доброе утро, семья.

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Сейчас ночь, и тебя не было несколько дней.

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Странно. Последнее, что я помню, это как я напивался в баре.

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Очнулся я уже дома.

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Я нашла тебя под кучей очень вымотанно выглядящих лошадей.

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Не припоминаю, но раз я дотянул до ужина трезвым, то вознагражу себя за самоконтроль большим количеством выпивки.

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Если понадоблюсь, вы знаете, где меня найти и откуда притащить домой.

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- Куда ваш отец?

- Напиваться.

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Весело, весело. Надеюсь, вы оставили место.

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Мы не едим рога и копыта. Ну, не нарочно.

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Но кто-то должен. Мой храм ими забит, и мне они не нужны.

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Просто проси у людей то, что тебе нужно.

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Богам не нужно ничего. Я была ненадолго заинтригована возможностью какать,

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но моя задница слишком для этого хороша.

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Достаточно, что люди отдают вещи, которые им нужны.

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Они страдают, значит им не всё равно.

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А ты не должна отвечать на их молитвы?

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Обычно, когда у меня доходят руки, они уже мертвы.

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Не моя вина, что вы такие хрупкие создания.

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Можно прийти в твой храм и взять вещи, на которые тебе явно плевать?

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Нет, но можешь помочь прибраться.

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И если хорошо справишься, может быть, я позволю тебе оторвать голову животного для второго плеча.

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Класс!

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Какать задницей, как заурядно.

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Я хотел, чтобы город был необычайный.

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Ну извините, что пытаюсь улучшить ваши жизни.

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Труд всей моей жизни!

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Тебя что-то беспокоит?

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Уже нет. Я понял, что продолжать беспокоиться будет безумием.

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Всё равно ничего не изменится.

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- Присоединишься?

- Не, я наслаждаюсь отпуском.

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От-пуск? Звучит глупо. Откуда ты, из какого-то глупого места?

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- Из Афин.

- Афины?

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Серьёзно? Те самые?

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- Ты слышал о них?

- Слышал ли я о величайшем городе? Э, да.

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Мы начали использовать монеты, и наша цивилизация тут же взлетела.

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Я вдруг разбогател, и у меня появилось свободное время.

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Гениальное нововведение. Только в Афинах.

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Крапополис ни к чему такому не готов.

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Этот город восстал, когда я предложил барьер между питьевой водой и лужей с какашками.

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Как это работает?

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Мы покупаем и продаём за них товары и услуги.

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Я ношу сумму, равноценную пятидесяти курицам,

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и ничто не пытается постоянно склевать мои яйца.

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Это называется деньги. Возьму одну.

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Я ГрегОриос из Афин.

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Тиран из Крап... Ну, неважно откуда.

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Просто Тиран.

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В общем, они основаны на стандарте с супер взаимозаменяемыми токенами, или монетами, которые обозначают собой условленную сумму.

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Что ты дал за нее афинцу?

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Почти ничего. пару коров, коз, куриц и большую часть нашего оружия.

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Но я уверен, что остался в выигрыше.

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Подумай насколько это эффективнее.

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И мы живём почти в начале времён, у большинства людей одинаково вещей,

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так что они начинают в совершенно равных условиях.

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Одна проблемка. На кой нам афинские деньги?

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Мы не живём в Афинах.

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Знаю. Увы.

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С другой стороны, да и пошли они!

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Что если мы сделаем свои деньги?

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Что достойно Афин, то достойно того, чтобы мы украли это у Афин.

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Это дало Афинам толчок.

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И я не хочу, чтобы наш город развивался, обмениваясь частями животных.

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Ладно, я за.

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Что будет на наших монетах?

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У афинцев Афина, что слишком незатейливо на мой вкус.

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Это должен быть кто-то важный, кого уважает весь город.

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Кто-то вызывающий доверие и энтузиазм.

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- Царь!

- Торговец травой!

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Мы все любим Дилана, но я всё равно остановлюсь на своей идее.

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Люблю быть пьяным.

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Поэтому и занялся сидением в баре и распитием алкоголя.

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Выпьем еще по одной в честь выбранной нами жизни.

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Сколько это уже за сегодня?

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Навскидку скажу шесть бочек.

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Но если в глазах не двоится, то двенадцать.

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Эта тринадцатая!

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Ты многовато выпил, не заплатив.

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Теперь ты следишь за тем, сколько я пью?

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Я думал, ты бармен, а не моя мама.

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Все остальные платят.

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Курицами. Я даю кое-что более ценное - атмосферу.

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Думаешь, все эти люди пили бы здесь, если бы не я?

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Люди любят меня, я люблю людей. Мы все любим выпить. Комментарии излишни.

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Алкоголь и так вызывает зависимость.

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Я не позволю тебе плохо говорить про алкоголь.

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Извинись перед выпивкой.

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Давай. Поцелуй ее. С языком.

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- Нет.

- Долей мне.

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А пока ты это делаешь, я расскажу всем историю о моей очень чувственной встрече с грифоном.

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И ее близняшкой.

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Это официальная монета Крапополиса.

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Почему на ней ваше лицо?

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Я самый важный человек в городе.

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- А не торговец травой?

- И я то же сказал!

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Неважно кто на ней.

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Важно что она олицетворяет.

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Неужели вы не хотите возможности создать мир мечты?

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Вы можете хранить деньги. Увеличивать богатство, вместо того чтобы съедать весь заработок.

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- Как это устроено?

- Рад, что вы спросили, а не сразу восстали.

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Всё не будет стоить некое число куриц или коз.

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Все договорятся о сумме в монетах, честной для обеих сторон,

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и эту сумму монет можно будет обменять на равноценные товары и услуги.

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А что будет с парнем, который делал мелочь?

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Не сказать, что я женат на этой карьере.

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- На карьере можно жениться?

- Что такое карьера?

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Знаю, вы настроены недоверчиво, но...

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- Нам это нравится.

- Правда?

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Вы говорите это не просто чтобы обнадёжить меня, а затем раздавить остатки моего духа?

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- Давайте делать деньги!

- Ладно.

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Все выстройтесь со своими пожитками, и мы начнём выдавать Тиранов.

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Я не соглашался на это название.

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Извините, я поторопил события.

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- Зовите их как хотите.

- Крап-монеты.

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Сколько крап-монет я получу за это?

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Я только сейчас осознал, насколько это мерзко.

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Фу, храм больше напоминает зоопарк.

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Люди не держат животных в зоопарке мёртвых животных.

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Да, вы их съедаете, как будто это лучше.

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- Что это?

- Деньги.

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Их используют для обмена вместо куриц.

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Эти металлические диски ценны для вас, смертных?

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Люди сходят по ним с ума.

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Когда накоплю денег, сделаю себе третий хвостик.

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У меня наконец может быть полный храм подношений без вони куриного помёта.

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Мне это нравится. Распространи весть.

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С этого момента Делирия принимает только деньги.

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Разве не захватывающе?

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Нет. Это очень, очень скучно.

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Значит, всё получилось.

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Не верится, что мы делаем то же, что и Афины.

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Возможно, деньги - первый шаг к тому, чтобы Крапополис стал чем-то большим, чем жирное пятно от пальца на карте.

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Кто знает, возможно, еще при моей жизни мы дорастём до целой точки.

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Начнём с пары бочек, а там увидим, куда нас заведёт день.

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Нам нужно обсудить твой счёт.

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Мы уже согласились, что это была глупая идея. А теперь я продолжу напиваться.

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Тогда твой сын еще не изобрёл деньги.

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Кто придумал, что после секса бывают дети?

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У такой хорошей вещи не должно быть такого огромного недостатка.

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Твое чрезмерное пьянство создаёт очевидную проблему.

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- Не прогоняй его.

- Да!

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Его шумное, буйное поведение отвлекает меня от моих мрачных мыслей.

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Видишь? Я жизнь и душа этого места.

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Что если я буду тебе за это платить?

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То есть моей работой будет пить?

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Пить, травить байки, быть собой.

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И будучи собой, можешь пить сколько хочешь.

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Это идёт вразрез со всем, во что я верю, но быть трезвым звучит как настоящий ад.

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Подходите, выпивохи.

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Пора напиться так, словно это моя работа.

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А теперь это так и есть.

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Тиран, у нас небольшая проблема.

- Какая?

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Я пошёл в город перекусить.

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- Кебаб ВУзи?

- А что же еще?

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- Точно.

- Бум!

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Но Вузи ничего мне не дал, потому что у меня нет денег.

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Это легко исправить. Наделаем больше монет.

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Но если у денег не будет конкретной стоимости, это же по определению сделает их ничего не стоящими.

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Ставлю десять монет, что это сработает.

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Не вижу в этом минусов.

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- Где ты был?

- Пил.

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Тогда почему ты не довольный и не возбуждённый?

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Теперь это моя работа, и я это ненавижу.

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Деньги отняли у меня то, что я люблю больше всего на свете.

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После тебя, секса и жаркОго, конечно же.

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А по-моему они чудесны.

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Я, как говорят люди, с достатком.

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Я бы с ними такого наворотил.

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Так возьми их.

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Но они твои. Ты заработала их своей потрясностью.

00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:53,960

Верно, но смысл в том, что люди отдают что-то важное для них, чтобы доказать свою любовь ко мне.

00:09:53,990 --> 00:09:56,520

После этого они мне больше не нужны.

00:09:56,560 --> 00:10:01,560

А я думал, величайший подарок, который ты можешь мне сделать, это тысячи лет сногсшибательных оргазмом.

00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,860

Почему бы не то и то?

00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:05,500

День явно изменился к лучшему.

00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:11,590

- Две курицы, пожалуйста.

- Извини, закончились.

00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:13,370

- Ноу меня есть деньги.

- А куриц нет.

00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,580

Что если я дам больше денег за тех?

00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,010

- Это можно.

- Эй!

00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,780

Извини, курицы подорожали.

00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:20,650

Ладно, заплачу больше. Мне нужны курицы.

00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,150

Нет, если я заплачу еще больше.

00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,590

- Ты опоздал.

- Как я могу опоздать?

00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:34,030

- Я владею баром.

- Я владею баром.

00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,900

Извини, забыл сперва сделать так.

00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,300

До сих пор привыкаю ко всей этой идее.

00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:40,700

Как много денег.

00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,440

Ну, счастье нельзя купить за деньги.

00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:45,540

Но я это делаю. За вот такую сумму.

00:10:45,610 --> 00:10:47,040

Бар столько не стоит.

00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,880

Для меня он стоит вдвое больше. Держи.

00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,850

- Ты серьёзно?

- О, очень серьёзно.

00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:58,420

Я серьёзен, как трезвое чудовище, которому не терпится закончить этот разговор и перестать быть трезвым.

00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,620

По рукам.

00:10:59,690 --> 00:11:03,090

Друзья-пьяницы, с сегодняшнего дня это бар Шлаба.

00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,660

И в баре Шлаба все пьют бесплатно.

00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,400

Так баром не управляют.

00:11:08,430 --> 00:11:12,470

Ты не управляешь. А я буду делать это именно так.

00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:15,500

Если хочешь сесть и выпить бесплатно, то пожалуйста.

00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:17,310

Если нет, убирайся.

00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,510

Я всегда думал, что стать царём это лучшее, на что можно надеяться, но я ошибался.

00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:24,780

Быть богатым намного лучше.

00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:30,220

Кажется, некоторые женщины смотрели на мои след слизи с противоположностью отвращения.

00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,950

Что делать, если нам больше нечего покупать,

00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:35,160

но у людей по-прежнему есть куча денег?

00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:37,990

Заплатим кому-то, чтобы они об этом думали.

00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:39,830

Вот почему хорошо быть богатыми.

00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:42,600

- Ваша курица.

- Превосходно. Я был голоден.

00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,700

Вообще-то, курицы немного подорожали.

00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:46,800

- Насколько?

- Сто Тиранов.

00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:48,100

Как эт возможно?

00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,470

Монет много, а куриц не слишком.

00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:53,310

- Гиппо, ты гений. Что с этим делать?

- Всё просто.

00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,680

Сделаем еще монет.

00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:58,150

Если монет станет больше, разве куры не подорожают еще сильнее?

00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:00,580

Ты осознаёшь, что я могу тебя убить, да?

00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:01,580

Как будете платить?

00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:02,980

Проваливай!

00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,950

Мы можем сделать больше куриц?

00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:08,760

Как показали эксперименты, куриц могут делать только курицы.

00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:12,630

Но я готов попытаться снова. Это весёлый эксперимент.

00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,660

Нельзя, чтобы новая система рухнула. Мы слишком богаты.

00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:18,800

У кого можно спросить, как работает денежная система?

00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,740

Человек из Афин, он знает.

00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:22,740

Ты предлагаешь то, о чём я думаю?

00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:23,840

Всё верно, Гиппо.

00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,040

Мы проведём отпуск в Афинах!

00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:29,610

Колосса, почему мой алтарь пуст?

00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,510

Где все почитатели?

00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:32,180

Наверно в баре.

00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,250

Шлаб раздаёт бесплатную выпивку, и все сбежались туда.

00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:38,820

- Они выглядели счастливыми.

- Счастливые люди не молятся богам.

00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:41,420

Несчастные люди всегда молят о том и этом.

00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:44,130

Жену получше, ребёнка, жену для ребёнка.

00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:47,030

Их несчастье подпитывает меня.

00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:49,330

Видишь? Вот вид человека, которому нужна молитва.

00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:54,200

Великая Делирия, я пришёл за ответами, ибо я пропащая душа.

00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:56,570

Если хочешь от нее помощи, ближе к сути.

00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,810

У нее много сил, но долгое внимание не одна из них.

00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:00,880

У меня был смысл жизни.

00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:05,010

По утрам я просыпался, зная, что я должен делать - помогать людям напиться.

00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:06,780

Я потерял всё.

00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:08,120

Я хочу вернуть бар.

00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:10,020

Бар, который продал Шлабу?

00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:13,520

Бар, где все твои почитатели проводят все дни и ночи.

00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:14,820

Я скучаю по поклонению.

00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:17,690

Когда привыкнешь, от него тяжело отказаться.

00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,760

Ладно, я помогу тебе.

00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,670

Судя по карте мы пришли.

00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:31,740

Это не могут быть Афины.

00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,710

На наших картах всего три точки.

00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:38,050

Если что-то не нравится, мог бы сам изобрести первый в мире компас, чтобы ориентироваться!

00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,850

Но где мрамор, сенат, демократия?

00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,780

Эй, отвалите.

00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:43,920

Это мое!

00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,290

Отпуск получился так себе.

00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,630

Тут очень расслабляюще.

00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:56,000

Твой сарказм не помогает.

00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:59,870

Ну, я мало что могу с этим сделать, не так ли?

00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:05,070

Не знаю, что происходит, но я сильно разочарован.

00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:06,910

Здесь небезопасно.

00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:09,180

- Где здесь?

- Это Афины.

00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:11,680

- То есть были.

- Грегориос?

00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,050

Что тут творится?

00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:17,390

Когда я уходил, Афины процветали. Но вернувшись, я увидел это.

00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:22,020

Всё из-за денег. Когда у афинцев кончились монеты, они начали делать новые.

00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:28,060

Это казалось идеальным решением, но от этого стало только хуже, намного хуже.

00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:31,700

Как говорится, больше денег - больше проблем.

00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,230

О боже мой. Мы влипли.

00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:36,740

Да брось, не может быть, что это всё из-за лишних монет.

00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:39,670

Деньги потеряли цену, и люди обратились друг против друга.

00:14:39,740 --> 00:14:41,280

Плохо дело.

00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:44,580

Думаешь? Вся наша цивилизация рухнула за трёхдневный уикэнд.

00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:45,380

Что такое уикэнд?

00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:46,750

Еще одно наше изобретение.

00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:52,850

Не время для новых идей. Надо исправить проблемы с предыдущим.

00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,320

А от меня вы чего хотите?

00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,790

Боже мой!

00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:58,730

Пока не знаю, но мы уходим прямо сейчас.

00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:00,560

Слезь с меня!

00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:03,900

О боже!

00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,470

О боже!

00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,840

Если ты не хочешь остаться.

00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:19,110

И кракен говорит: "Женщина, я живу на дне океана.

00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:22,320

И теперь это не самое склизкое место, в котором я побывал".

00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:27,190

Внимание, смертные.

00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:30,850

Отныне молящиеся в моем храме могут пить бесплатно.

00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:33,560

И я даже заплачу вам по пять монет.

00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,840

- Что ты делаешь?

- Возвращаю почитателей.

00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:43,670

Но твои почитатели это мои пьяницы.

00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:44,840

Они мне нужны.

00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,310

Что мне делать в пустом баре?

00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,510

Ты можешь прийти в мой храм.

00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:51,280

Там будет абсолютный отрыв.

00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:54,780

Я так и не понял, в чём тут моя выгода.

00:15:54,850 --> 00:15:57,150

Ты снова стал барменом.

00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,420

- Разве ты не этого хотел?

- Я хотел вернуть бар.

00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:03,220

Я богиня, а не джин. Бери, что предлагают.

00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:06,230

Спасибо, что взяли меня с собой.

00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:07,960

Пока рано радоваться.

00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,470

Мои люди убьют нас, когда узнают, что их деньги ничего не стоят.

00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:15,040

Я пообещал им, что мы станем великим городом.

00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:19,170

Они были довольны жизнью, а я подтолкнул их желать большего.

00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:21,080

Я не знаю, что мне делать.

00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:26,050

Предложение: обвиним во всём Грегориоса. Пусть вместо этого убьют его.

00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,820

Ничего личного. Я просто не хочу умирать.

00:16:28,850 --> 00:16:31,050

Или используем его...

00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:34,190

Как живой щит, да. Мы говорим об одном и том же.

00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:36,260

Нет, Грегориос из Афин.

00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,630

Все считают Афины городом, на который хотят быть похожи все города.

00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:42,400

Они не знают, что это апокалиптический ад.

00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,270

Но я ничего не понимаю в деньгах.

00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:47,430

К счастью, мой народ понимает еще меньше.

00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:49,940

Это неправильно.

00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:51,170

Потому что это кощунство?

00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,240

Нет, потому что это не бар.

00:16:53,270 --> 00:16:56,710

Это место, где люди выпивают. То есть бар, нет?

00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:59,310

Иногда я забываю, какая ты дура.

00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:01,180

Бар это нечто совсем другое.

00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:06,890

В них есть нечто неописуемое, отчего нажираться с незнакомцами становится особенно весело.

00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:08,360

Налить еще, Шлаб?

00:17:08,420 --> 00:17:10,390

- Теперь ты работаешь здесь?

- Вроде того.

00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:12,260

Я не уверен, что это такое.

00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:14,960

Ну, чем бы ни было, это не бар.

00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:16,130

Это правда.

00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,770

Шлаб, было неправильно требовать у тебя платить.

00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,740

Я был слишком поглощён деловой частью управления баром.

00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:25,470

- Это было мерзко с твоей стороны.

- Верни мне бар.

00:17:25,510 --> 00:17:27,340

Сделаем всё как было.

00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,780

- Я люблю тебя, Шлаб.

- Я тебя тоже.

00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:32,480

Ну, не тебя лично. Я даже не знаю твоего имени.

00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:38,120

Но я люблю тот факт, что ты владеешь местом, куда я могу пойти и наклюкаться.

00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:40,120

Отныне ты всегда можешь пить бесплатно.

00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:42,190

Это всё, чего я хотел.

00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:46,590

Не жди меня, Колосса. Папочка идёт на попойку всей жизни.

00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:50,270

Народ Крапополиса, за деньгами будущее.

00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:53,200

Я знаю, что монет больше, чем куриц.

00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:56,040

Это может казаться проблемой, но это не так.

00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:57,014

Почему?

00:17:57,014 --> 00:18:02,080

Я привёл настоящего афинца, чтобы убедиться, что система надёжна. И он говорит, что это так.

00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:05,380

- Разве?

- Да. Ты денежный гений.

00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:09,450

И ты посчитал всех куриц и все монеты.

00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,050

И теперь можешь сказать, что одна монета стоит...

00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:16,160

Если ты хотел, чтобы я что-то сказал, надо было отрепетировать.

00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,430

Не время для замечаний, Грегориос. Ты хотел сказать "одну курицу".

00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:21,130

Разве не с этого всё началось?

00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:26,030

Да, но теперь Грегориос будет официально заведовать курицами и монетами.

00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:27,030

Повезло мне.

00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,600

Он определяет, сколько что стоит.

00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,870

И когда он говорит, что цена чего-то изменилась, мы не задаём вопросов.

00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:39,180

Потому что у него сложная работа. И чтобы оспорить ее, нам тоже придётся проделать много лишней работы.

00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:42,450

И тогда у нас не останется времени на отпуск.

00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:48,360

- Что такое отпуск?

- О, приготовьтесь, сейчас я взорву вам мозг.

00:18:48,390 --> 00:18:51,290

Что будет, если люди засомневаются в системе?

00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:54,030

Она не выдержит даже простейшей критики.

00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,760

Люди для этого слишком ленивые.

00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:00,300

А если и засомневаются, мы к тому времени будем мертвы, и это станет проблемой для кого-то другого.

00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:02,470

Но люди так и не потеряли веру.

00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:06,510

Вместо того чтобы сомневаться в деньгах, они просто пользовались ими.

00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:11,250

Потому что им нравилось покупать вещи, а для этого нужно было больше денег.

00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:15,480

Поэтому все нашли работу и вкалывали до потери пульса.

00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:22,090

Вся эта работа отнимала столько времени, что они начали забывать, что делает жизнь особенной.

00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,260

Но постепенно система так разрослась,

00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:31,000

что попытка оспорить ее стала бы означать конец всего, поэтому никто этого не делал.

00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:33,270

Так у нас и появился уОлмарт.

00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,540

Ребята, я такая плохая.

00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:41,410

- Я снюхала спорынью Диониса.

- О нет.

00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,610

Да, от этой штуки крыша едет.

00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,810

Я видела звуки и слышала цвета.

00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:53,820

Умирающее дерево рассказало мне секрет о монетной платёжной системе, от которой люди впадают в неистовство.

00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:58,990

Я увидела будущее, в котором идиотская семейка Делирии использовала эти деньги в своем идиотском городе.

00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:04,130

Возможно, это отходняк от спорыньи, но они вели себя страннее и тупее обычного.

00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,430

И что они с ними делали?

00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:08,270

Платили за нужные им вещи.

00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:09,940

Но зачем? У них уже был обмен.

00:20:09,970 --> 00:20:12,610

- Деньги делали их счастливыми?

- Наоборот.

00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,480

Они стали еще несчастнее.

00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:16,540

Какой урок мы из этого извлечём?

00:20:16,580 --> 00:20:19,550

Не нюхать спорынью Диониса?

00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:22,280

Нет, всегда слушать умирающие деревья.

00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,220

Может, нам следует дать людям деньги?

00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:27,990

Если мои галлюцинации верны - и будем честны, наверно так и есть, -

00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:32,330

деньги могут заставить смертных творить ужасные вещи.

00:20:32,390 --> 00:20:35,260

Они будут готовы на всё, чтобы получить больше денег.

00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:40,570

И они неизбежно будут повергнуты в уныние. Даже те, у кого денег много.

00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,400

И тогда они приползут к нам.

00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,310

И это ценнее всех мёртвых куриц на свете!

00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,480

Желаете чего-нибудь еще?

00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:52,410

Нет, всё было великолепно.

00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:54,480

Держи, за твои услуги.

00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,380

Она стоит одну целую курицу.

00:20:57,450 --> 00:20:59,090

Итак, началось.

00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:08,200

Корабль всей моей жизни!

00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:13,770

- Боже, обожаю это место.

- Оно просто лучшее.

00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:05,239

which I believe is bright.

00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:06,406

- Based on what?

- Not the energy

00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:07,908

I'm picking up from you guys.

00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:08,976

You're supposed

to be the movers

00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:10,243

and shakers of Krapopolis.

00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,913

I move horse crap

from inside the stalls

00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,014

to outside the stalls.

00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,182

And I only shake

00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,517

because I'm dangerously

malnourished.

00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,252

And yet, you're still

the best we've got.

00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:21,254

Nobody wishes that wasn't

the case more than me.

00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:23,424

Don't you want a legacy,

00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:26,527

a way to know

you made a difference?

00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:27,961

Mmm.

00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,930

You've got to agree

that lately,

00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:31,432

the city's kind of

hit a plateau.

00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,867

Why is that a bad thing?

A plateau is stable.

00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:34,768

Not sure you noticed,

00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,637

but pretty dangerous time

to be alive.

00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:37,405

This guy just died.

00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,106

Then let's give

his life meaning

00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:40,540

by making this meeting matter.

00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,977

Civilization needs a swift kick

in the ass.

00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,212

Who's ready to lend a foot?

00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,914

Okay, you're dead now too,

00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:50,384

but doesn't that fill the rest

of you with a sense of urgency?

00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,653

We just left the woods,

like, ten years ago.

00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:53,453

I think we're killing it.

00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,088

How can you be

so content with this?

00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:57,024

It's so mediocre.

00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,326

We can do better,

and we will do better.

00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:00,561

Sounds like you got

this figured out.

00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,696

Can we take a half day?

- Take the whole day.

00:01:02,797 --> 00:01:04,364

You're all fired.

00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,267

Oh, screw you too.

00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,628

Good morning, family.

00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:37,064

It's night, and nobody's

seen you for days.

00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,065

Well, that is odd.

00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,199

Last thing I remember,

00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:40,935

I was drinking heavily

at the bar.

00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,036

Then I woke up at home.

00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:44,905

Because I found you

passed out underneath a pile

00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,040

of very exhausted-looking

horses.

00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,275

Doesn't ring a bell,

but since I made it

00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,977

all the way to dinner sober,

00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,046

I'm going to reward

my self-control

00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:53,080

with a lot of drinks.

00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,147

If anyone needs me,

00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,182

you know where to find me

00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,284

and where to drag me home to.

00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,152

- Where's your father going?

- To get drunk.

00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,355

Fun, fun.

Hope you've all saved room.

00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,890

We don't eat the horns

and hooves,

00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,058

at least not on purpose.

00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:05,158

Well, someone has to.

00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,960

My temple is filled

with this stuff,

00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,395

and it's useless to me.

00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,430

Why not just ask the people

for stuff you need?

00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,267

Because gods

don't need anything.

00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,301

I mean,

I was briefly interested

00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:16,971

in that whole pooping thing,

but it would be criminal

00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,939

to waste my perfect ass

on that.

00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,373

So the only thing that matters

00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,475

is that people give me things

that they want.

00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,444

The suffering is how

I know they care.

00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:27,047

Shouldn't you also be

answering their prayers?

00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,849

Usually by the time

I get 'round to it,

00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,084

they're already dead.

00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:33,087

It's not my fault

you things are so fragile.

00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:34,988

Can I come to your temple

and take some

00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,990

of the things you clearly

don't care about?

00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,892

No, but you can

help me tidy up.

00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,527

And if you do a good job,

00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,529

maybe I'll let you rip off

an animal head

00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:44,531

for you to wear

on your other shoulder.

00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,433

Sweet!

00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:51,271

Using the butt to poop,

how pedestrian.

00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:54,474

I wanted this city

to be extraordinary.

00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:57,745

Well, sorry for trying

to make your lives better.

00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,513

My life's work!

00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:03,149

- Something bothering you?

- Something did bother me,

00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:05,552

but then I realized

to keep caring would be insane

00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,988

because nothing is

ever gonna change.

00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,823

Wanna join me?

- Nah, I'm good.

00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,091

I'm just enjoying my vacation.

00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,961

"Vay-cay-tion"?

Sounds stupid.

00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,862

Where are you from,

someplace stupid?

00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,030

- Athens.

- Athens?

00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,999

Seriously? The Athens?

00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,534

- You've heard of it?

- Have I heard

00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,435

of the greatest city

in the world? Uh, yeah.

00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:24,271

Well, we started using

these coins,

00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,473

and our civilization

really took off.

00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:29,477

Suddenly, I was rich and had

something called "free time."

00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:32,546

Such a brilliant innovation.

Only in Athens.

00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,382

Krapopolis isn't ready

for anything like that.

00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,485

This city rioted

when I suggested

00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:39,853

building a barrier

between our watering hole

00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,055

and our poo puddle.

00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,088

How does it work?

00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,223

We use these to buy and sell

00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,458

goods and services.

00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,126

I'm currently carrying

the equivalent

00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,560

of 50 chickens,

00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,463

and nothing is constantly

trying to peck at my testicles.

00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,967

It's called money.

Here, take one.

00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,702

I'm Gregorios, of Athens.

00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,904

Tyrannis, of Krap--well,

the name isn't important.

00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,207

Just Tyrannis.

00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,577

Apparently, it's based

on a standard of exchange

00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,147

where these super fungible

tokens, or coins,

00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,483

represent a certain amount

that everyone agrees on.

00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,484

What did you give

this Athenian for it?

00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:14,221

Nothing really,

just a couple of cows, goats,

00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,722

chickens, most of our weapons.

00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,891

But I'm pretty sure I got

the better end of the deal.

00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,526

Think of how much more

efficient this will be.

00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:22,029

And since we're basically

at the beginning of time,

00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,463

most people have

the same amount of stuff,

00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,033

so they'll be starting on

a totally equal playing field.

00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,100

There's only one problem.

00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,736

What do we do

with Athenian money?

00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,104

We don't live in Athens.

00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,172

I know. I wish.

00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:34,475

Counterpoint, screw Athens!

00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:37,510

What if we made our own money?

- Mm...

00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:39,112

If it's good enough

for Athens,

00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,148

it's good enough for us

to steal from Athens.

00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:42,549

It did give Athens

a jump start.

00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,351

And I would like to see

this city evolve

00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,620

from just trading

random animal parts.

00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,421

Okay, I'm in.

00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,956

What should we put

on our coins?

00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,391

The Athenians used Athena,

00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,993

which is a little on the nose

for my taste.

00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,395

It should be someone

important,

00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,497

someone the whole city

respects.

00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,366

Someone who inspires

trust and enthusiasm.

00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,235

- The king!

- The weed dealer!

00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:03,069

We all love Dylan,

00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,506

but I still think

I'm gonna go with my idea.

00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,708

I love being drunk,

00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:08,642

which is why I got into

00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,045

the sitting-at-a-bar-

and-drinking business.

00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:13,213

Let us celebrate

our life choices

00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,315

with another round.

00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,118

How many is that for today?

00:05:17,118 --> 00:05:19,419

If I had to guess,

I'd say six barrels,

00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,956

but if I'm not seeing double,

12.

00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:24,091

Make that 13!

00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:26,393

That seems like a lot

to drink without payin'.

00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:29,163

So now you're gonna keep tabs

on how much I drink?

00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,498

I thought you were a bartender,

not my mother.

00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,700

crowd: Ooh.

- Everyone else pays.

00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,634

With chickens.

00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,237

I provide something more

valuable--atmosphere.

00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,639

You think all these people

would be drinking here

00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:40,474

if not for me?

00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,142

The people love me.

I love the people.

00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,977

We all love drinking. No notes.

00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,145

Alcohol is pretty addictive.

00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:48,215

I will not stand here and let

you speak ill of alcohol.

00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,050

Apologize to the drinks.

00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,619

Do it. Kiss them.

00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:52,919

Tongue that booze.

00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,288

- No.

- Top me off.

00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:57,023

And while you do that,

I'll tell everyone the story

00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,793

of my very sensual encounter

with a griffin...

00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,328

And her twin.

00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,866

This is Krapopolis'

official coin.

00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,234

Why does it have

your face on it?

00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,236

Because I'm the most

important person in the city.

00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,237

- Isn't that the weed dealer?

- That's what I said!

00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,339

It doesn't matter

who's on it.

00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,408

What matters is

what it represents.

00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,343

Don't you want an opportunity

to dream,

00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,112

to create a world where,

eventually,

00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:19,879

money is something

you can hold onto?

00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,248

Grow your wealth

instead of having

00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,516

to eat everything you earn?

00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,151

- How does that work?

- I'm really glad

00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,019

you asked that before rioting.

00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,321

Instead of something

being worth

00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:29,089

a certain number

of chickens or goats,

00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,958

everyone will agree

on a coin amount

00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,227

that is fair to both parties,

00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:36,229

and that amount of coins

can then be exchanged

00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,265

for the equivalent

in goods and services.

00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,600

What about the guy in town

who used to make change?

00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,137

I am so not married

to this career.

00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,272

- You can marry careers?

- What's a career?

00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,408

I know you're gonna be

skeptical, but--

00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,809

- It feels right.

- You're really into it?

00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:52,446

You're not just saying you are

so you can get my hopes up

00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,115

and crush whatever spirit

I have left?

00:06:54,115 --> 00:06:55,482

- Let's do money!

- Okay.

00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,351

Everyone line up

with your possessions,

00:06:57,351 --> 00:07:00,187

and we'll start handing out

the Tyrannises.

00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,022

I don't remember agreeing

on that name.

00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,357

Sorry, got a little

ahead of myself.

00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,258

Call them whatever you want.

- Krap coins.

00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,660

How many Krap coins do I get

for this?

00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,796

Ugh, I never realized

how gross this was until now.

00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:16,303

Ugh, this temple feels

more like a petting zoo.

00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,572

People don't pet the animals

after they're dead.

00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:21,942

Oh, right, you just eat them,

like that's better.

00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,410

What is this?

- It's called money.

00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,478

The city's using it instead

of trading chickens.

00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:28,749

So these metal disks

are valuable to you mortals?

00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,317

People are nuts for 'em.

00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:33,153

When I get enough money,

I'm gonna get a third pigtail.

00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,355

I could finally have

a temple full of sacrifices

00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,758

that don't stink

like chicken crap.

00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,093

Oh, I like it.

00:07:39,093 --> 00:07:40,493

I'm in.

Spread the word.

00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:44,097

From now on, Deliria only

accepts cold hard money.

00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:47,034

Isn't this exciting?

00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,336

No, it's actually very,

very boring.

00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,305

I think that means

it's working.

00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,841

I can't believe we're doing

something that Athens would do.

00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:56,544

Maybe money is the first step

to Krapopolis being more than

00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,712

just a greasy finger smudge

on the map.

00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,380

Who knows?

Maybe in my lifetime,

00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:03,750

I'll get to see us make it

all the way to a dot.

00:08:05,119 --> 00:08:06,486

Let's start

with a couple of barrels

00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,489

and see where

this day takes us.

00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,524

We're gonna need

to discuss your tab.

00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:14,027

We already agreed that

that was a stupid idea.

00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,362

Now I'm back to get drunk.

00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,497

That was before

your son invented money.

00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,233

Whose idea was it

for sex to lead to children?

00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,969

Something so good

should never have

00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,470

such a substantial downside.

00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,340

I see your excessive drinking

is an obvious liability.

00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,775

Don't make him go.

all: Yeah!

00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:32,079

His loud boisterous behavior

keeps me from dealing

00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,514

with my own dark thoughts.

00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:36,249

See? I'm the life and soul

of this place.

00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,385

What if I paid you

to keep being that?

00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,987

You want me to drink

as a job?

00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,257

Drink, tell stories,

just be you.

00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:44,391

And while you're being you,

00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:45,358

you can drink

as much as you like.

00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,362

Working goes against

everything I believe in,

00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:52,232

but being sober sounds

like genuine hell.

00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,334

Gather round, fellow drunks.

00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,138

It's time to get wasted

like it's my job,

00:08:57,138 --> 00:08:59,606

which I guess it now is.

00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,543

Tyrannis,

00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,412

we have a slight problem.

- What's that?

00:09:05,513 --> 00:09:07,014

I went into town

to get some lunch.

00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,282

- Woozie's Kebabs?

- Is there any other?

00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,018

- You know it.

- Boom!

00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,453

But Woozie wouldn't give me any

00:09:12,453 --> 00:09:13,988

because I don't have

any more money.

00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,089

That's an easy fix.

00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:16,957

We can just make

a lot more coins.

00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,092

But if the money isn't worth

00:09:18,092 --> 00:09:19,826

the value

of something specific,

00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,461

isn't it

by definition worthless?

00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,197

I bet you ten coins

this works.

00:09:23,197 --> 00:09:25,599

Can't see a downside to that.

00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:28,402

- Where have you been?

- Drinking.

00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,370

Then why aren't you

happy and horny?

00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,973

Because it's my job now,

and I hate it.

00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,674

Money has robbed me

of the thing

00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,176

I love most in the world,

00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,846

other than you, sex,

and stir fry, of course.

00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,814

Oh, I think it's wonderful.

00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,049

I'm what people call "loaded."

00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,751

The things I could do

with all that.

00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,719

Then take it.

00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:48,321

But it's yours.

You earned it by being amazing.

00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,157

True, but the point is

for the people

00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,992

to give up something

that matters to them

00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,360

to prove how much they love me.

00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,929

Once they do that,

I don't need it anymore.

00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,231

And I thought

the greatest gift

00:09:57,331 --> 00:09:59,166

you could ever give me

was thousands of years

00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,968

of mind-blowing orgasms.

00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,269

Why not have both?

00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,905

This day has really

turned around.

00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,807

both: Mmm.

00:10:08,409 --> 00:10:10,210

- Two chickens, please.

- Sorry.

00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,478

I'm all out.

- But I have money.

00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:12,779

That doesn't make

more chickens.

00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,981

What if I give you more money

for those chickens?

00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:16,417

- Mm, that could work.

- Hey!

00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:18,185

Sorry,

chickens cost more now.

00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,053

Fine, I'll pay more.

I want these chickens.

00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,555

Not if I pay more than you.

00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,998

- You're late.

- How can I be late?

00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,434

I own this bar.

- I own the bar.

00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:35,302

Sorry, I forgot

to do this first.

00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,706

Still getting used

to this whole concept.

00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,107

That's a lot of money.

00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,842

Well, you can't put

a price on happiness.

00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:44,945

I mean, you obviously should,

and it should be this amount.

00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,447

This place isn't worth

that much.

00:10:46,447 --> 00:10:49,282

It's worth double to me.

In fact, here.

00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:52,252

- You're serious?

- Oh, I am very serious,

00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,354

as serious

as a sober monster desperate

00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:57,825

to end this conversation

and stop being sober.

00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,026

Then you got a deal.

00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,128

Fellow drunks, as of today,

00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,496

this is Shlub's Bar,

00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:05,065

and everyone drinks for free

at Shlub's Bar.

00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,801

That's not how you run a bar.

00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,070

No, that's not

how you run a bar.

00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,872

This is exactly how I do it.

00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,140

Now if you wanna sit down

00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,908

and drink for free,

you're welcome.

00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,710

If not, get out.

00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,513

I always thought

becoming a king was the best

00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,916

you could hope for in life,

but I was wrong.

00:11:21,916 --> 00:11:24,184

Being rich is way better.

00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,886

I think that some

of the women in the city

00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,488

were checking out

my slime trails

00:11:27,488 --> 00:11:29,623

with whatever the opposite

of disgust is.

00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:32,359

So what do we do if we run

out of stuff to buy,

00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,562

but the people still

have a bunch of money?

00:11:34,562 --> 00:11:37,397

We can pay someone

to figure that out for us.

00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,232

That's the benefit

of being rich.

00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:42,002

- Sir, here is your chicken.

- Excellent. I'm starving.

00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,104

Actually, chickens cost

a bit more now.

00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,206

- How much more?

- 100 Tyrannises.

00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,507

How is that possible?

00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,877

There's a lot of coins

and not a lot of chickens.

00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:50,977

Hippo, you're the genius.

00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,713

What do we do about this?

- Easy.

00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,081

We make more coins.

00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,382

If you make more coins,

00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,551

won't chickens just end up

costing even more?

00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,987

You do realize

I can have you killed, right?

00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:00,987

How are you gonna pay

for that?

00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,389

Get out!

00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,357

Can we somehow

make more chickens?

00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,126

According to my experiments,

00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,162

only chickens can

make more chickens,

00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,397

but I am willing to try again.

00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,032

It's a pretty fun experiment.

00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:13,834

We can't let

this new system collapse.

00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,068

We're too rich.

00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,303

Is there anyone we can ask

00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,205

about how

this money system works?

00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,140

The man from Athens,

he would know.

00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,142

Are you proposing

what I think you are?

00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,243

That's right, Hippo.

00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,446

We're taking a vacation

to Athens!

00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:28,815

Stupendous,

why is my altar empty?

00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,718

Where are all my worshippers?

00:12:30,718 --> 00:12:31,385

Probably at the bar.

00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,086

Shlub's giving away free booze,

00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,454

and people were packing in.

00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,489

They looked real happy.

00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:38,025

Happy people don't pray

to their gods.

00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,794

Miserable people are

the ones always

00:12:39,794 --> 00:12:40,628

begging for this or that--

00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:43,330

a better wife, a child,

a child wife.

00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:46,233

Their misery is what fuels me.

00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,536

See? That's the look of a guy

in need of a prayer.

00:12:48,536 --> 00:12:51,972

Great Deliria,

I come to you for answers,

00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,407

for I am a lost soul.

00:12:53,407 --> 00:12:55,776

If you really want her help,

get to the point.

00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,043

She's got lots of powers,

00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,013

but a long attention span

ain't one of 'em.

00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:00,080

I used to have a purpose.

00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,917

I'd wake up every morning

knowing what I had to do--

00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,218

help people get drunk.

00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,986

I've got nothing left.

00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,321

I want my bar back.

00:13:07,321 --> 00:13:09,222

The bar you sold to Shlub?

00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,057

The bar where

all your worshippers

00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,727

are spending every day

and night.

00:13:12,727 --> 00:13:14,028

I do miss the worship.

00:13:14,028 --> 00:13:15,162

I mean, once you get

a taste for it,

00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,897

it's really hard to give up.

00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,965

Fine. I'll help you.

00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,875

The map says we're here.

00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,944

This can't be the Athens.

00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,913

Our maps only have

three dots.

00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,114

And if you wanted to navigate,

00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,250

maybe you should have invented

the world's first compass!

00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,053

But where is the marble,

the senate, the democracy?

00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,988

Hey. Back off.

00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,123

Those are mine!

00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:46,493

Some vacation

this turned out to be.

00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:53,834

I'm feeling very relaxed.

00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,202

The sarcasm isn't helping.

00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,971

Well,

not much I can do about that,

00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,073

is there?

00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:02,343

I don't know

what is going on,

00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:04,278

but this is

a major disappointment.

00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,113

both: Aah!

- You're not safe here.

00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:08,381

- Where is here?

- This is Athens.

00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,884

Or at least it was.

- Gregorios?

00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,252

What the hell is going on?

00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,622

When I left,

Athens was thriving,

00:14:14,622 --> 00:14:16,590

but I came back to this.

00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:17,391

It was the money.

00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,993

When the other Athenians

got low on coins,

00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,227

they just started making more.

00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,163

It seemed like

the perfect solution,

00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:27,268

but it made everything worse,

so much worse.

00:14:27,268 --> 00:14:30,904

Like they say,

"Mo' money, mo' problems."

00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,439

Oh, my God.

We are so screwed.

00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,241

Oh, come on,

it couldn't have all been

00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,943

because they made more coins.

00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,177

The money became worthless,

00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,879

and people began

to turn on each other.

00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,480

- This is bad.

- You think?

00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,216

Our entire civilization

collapsed

00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:43,784

over a three-day weekend.

00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:44,584

What's a weekend?

00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:45,953

It's another thing

we invented--

00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,020

Aah!

00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,457

Not the time for new ideas.

We still need to fix

00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,059

the problems

your last one caused.

00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,526

What do you want me

to do about it?

00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:54,995

Aah! Oh, my God.

00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,163

I don't know yet,

00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,931

but it involves

us leaving right now.

00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,766

Get off of me.

00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,602

Aah!

00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:03,104

Oh, my God!

00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:07,674

Oh, my God!

00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,048

Unless you want to stay.

00:15:14,048 --> 00:15:16,216

So the kraken says,

00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,318

"Lady, I live

in the bottom of the ocean,

00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:21,521

and that's still the slimiest

thing I've ever been inside."

00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:26,394

Attention, mortals.

00:15:26,394 --> 00:15:28,562

From now on,

if you pray at my temple,

00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,865

you can drink for free,

and I'll even pay you

00:15:30,865 --> 00:15:32,766

five coins to be there.

00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:40,040

- What are you doing?

- Getting my worshipers back.

00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,876

But your worshippers

are my drunks.

00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:44,044

I need them.

00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,512

What am I meant

to do in an empty bar?

00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,714

You're more than welcome

to come to my temple.

00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,484

It's gonna be

an absolute rager.

00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,987

I'm still not sure

what I got out of this deal.

00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:56,357

You get to be

a bartender again.

00:15:56,357 --> 00:15:58,625

Isn't that what you wanted?

- I wanted my bar back.

00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:02,429

Well, I'm a god, not a genie.

You get what you get.

00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,231

I really appreciate

you guys taking me with you.

00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:06,967

I wouldn't start

celebrating yet.

00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,302

My people are gonna kill us

00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:10,470

as soon as they learn

that their money is worthless.

00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,139

I promised them

that we were on our way

00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,041

to becoming a great city.

00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,442

They were content

with their lives,

00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:18,178

and I'm the one who pushed them

to want more.

00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,080

I don't know

if I can face that.

00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,282

Here's a pitch:

what if we blame everything

00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:25,051

on Gregorios and let the people

kill him instead?

00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,219

- Uh--

- It's not personal.

00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,821

I just really don't wanna die.

00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:30,057

Or we can use him--

00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,959

As a human shield, yes.

00:16:31,959 --> 00:16:33,193

We're saying the same thing.

00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:35,262

No, Gregorios is from Athens.

00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,463

Everyone thinks of Athens

00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,632

as the city other cities

want to be like.

00:16:38,632 --> 00:16:41,402

They don't know

it's an apocalyptic hellhole.

00:16:41,402 --> 00:16:43,270

But I don't know anything

about money.

00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,439

Luckily,

my people know even less.

00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:48,942

This feels wrong.

00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:50,177

Because it's sacrilegious?

00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,246

No, because this isn't a bar.

00:16:52,246 --> 00:16:53,981

It's a place

where people are drinking.

00:16:53,981 --> 00:16:55,716

Isn't that all a bar is?

00:16:55,716 --> 00:16:58,318

Oh, sometimes I forget

that you're the stupid one.

00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,187

A bar is something

totally different.

00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,222

It has this indescribable thing

00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:05,892

that makes getting blacked out

with strangers extra fun.

00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,361

Need a fresh one, Shlub?

00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,396

- You're working here now?

- Kind of.

00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,264

I'm not totally sure

what this is.

00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,866

Well, I'll tell you

what it isn't,

00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:13,968

and that's a bar.

00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:15,135

Ain't that the truth?

00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,904

Shlub, I was wrong

00:17:16,904 --> 00:17:18,772

to ask you to pay

for your drinks.

00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:20,040

I got way too caught up

00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,742

in the business part

of the bar business.

00:17:21,742 --> 00:17:24,478

- It was an ugly side of you.

- Give me the bar back.

00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,347

We can make things

how they used to be.

00:17:26,347 --> 00:17:28,782

I love you, Shlub.

- I love you too.

00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:30,250

Well, not you specifically.

00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,485

I don't even know your name.

00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:33,654

But I love the fact

that you own a place

00:17:33,754 --> 00:17:37,124

that I can go to where

I can get totally blasted.

00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,126

From now on,

you'll always drink for free.

00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:41,195

That's all I ever wanted.

00:17:41,195 --> 00:17:42,629

Don't wait up, Stupendous.

00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:45,599

Daddy's going on the bender

of a lifetime.

00:17:45,599 --> 00:17:49,270

People of Krapopolis,

money is the future.

00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:52,205

I know there are more coins

than there are chickens,

00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,041

and that might seem like

a problem, but it's not.

00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,443

- Why not?

- Because I've brought

00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,478

a genuine Athenian back

00:17:57,478 --> 00:17:59,680

to make sure

that our system is solid,

00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,081

and he says it is.

00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:04,384

- I do?

- Yes. You are a money genius.

00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:08,455

And you've calculated all

the chickens and all the coins

00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:12,058

and can now say that the value

of one coin is...

00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,360

If you wanted me

to say something,

00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,162

we probably should have

rehearsed this first.

00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,363

Not a great time for notes,

Gregorios.

00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,431

What he meant to say is

"One chicken."

00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,133

Isn't that how

this all started?

00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,335

It is, but now

Gregorios is going

00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:25,038

to be the official keeper

of the chickens and coins.

00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,039

Good for me.

00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:27,607

He'll regulate how much

everything is worth,

00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,844

and when he says something

is worth more or less,

00:18:30,844 --> 00:18:31,879

we won't question it

00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:34,014

because his job is complicated,

00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:35,716

and to challenge him would mean

00:18:35,716 --> 00:18:38,185

we had to do a lot

of extra work,

00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:41,455

and that would mean no time

for vacation.

00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:44,224

- What's a vacation?

- Oh, man!

00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:47,360

Get ready to have

your minds blown.

00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,297

What happens if people ever

really question the system?

00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:53,033

It will not stand up to even

the most basic scrutiny.

00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:54,768

They won't

because they're lazy,

00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:57,504

and even if one day they do,

we'll be long dead by then,

00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,306

and it'll be someone

else's problem.

00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,475

But the people

never did lose faith.

00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:04,111

Rather than question

how currency worked,

00:19:04,111 --> 00:19:05,512

they just went along with it

00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:08,249

because they really liked

buying stuff,

00:19:08,249 --> 00:19:10,251

which meant

they needed more money.

00:19:10,251 --> 00:19:12,219

So everybody got jobs

00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:14,488

and worked themselves

to the bone.

00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:17,691

All of this working ate up

so much of their lives,

00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:21,095

they began to forget

what made living special.

00:19:21,095 --> 00:19:24,264

But eventually,

the system grew so large

00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,933

that trying to challenge it

would mean the end

00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:30,003

of everything, so nobody did.

00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,272

And that's how we got Walmart.

00:19:35,042 --> 00:19:37,344

You guys, I'm so bad.

00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:40,214

I snorted Dionysus' ergot.

- Oh, no.

00:19:40,214 --> 00:19:42,416

Yeah, that stuff

really messes you up.

00:19:42,416 --> 00:19:45,619

Like, I could see sounds

and hear colors.

00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:48,355

The last breath of a dying tree

told me a secret

00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,991

of a coin-based currency

that when gifted to humans

00:19:50,991 --> 00:19:52,626

would make them go berserk.

00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:55,262

It showed me a future

where Deliria's stupid family

00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,798

started using this money

in their stupid city.

00:19:57,798 --> 00:19:59,766

Maybe it was because I was

coming down from the ergot,

00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,936

but they were all being

weirder and dumber than usual.

00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:05,239

So what did they actually do

with it?

00:20:05,239 --> 00:20:07,073

They used it to pay for

things they wanted or needed.

00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,742

But why?

They already had trade.

00:20:08,742 --> 00:20:11,411

Did this money make them happy?

- Quite the opposite.

00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,280

It made them

even more miserable.

00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,349

Is there a lesson

to be learned here?

00:20:15,349 --> 00:20:18,352

Uh, don't snort

Dionysus' ergot?

00:20:18,352 --> 00:20:21,088

No, always listen

to dying tree breath.

00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:23,023

Maybe we should give

the humans currency.

00:20:23,023 --> 00:20:25,058

If my hallucinations

are accurate,

00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:26,794

and let's be real,

they probably are,

00:20:26,794 --> 00:20:31,131

money could make the mortals do

all sorts of horrible things.

00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:34,067

They might just do anything

to get more of it.

00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:37,871

And inevitably,

it could make them all sad,

00:20:37,871 --> 00:20:39,372

even the ones with a lot of it.

00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:42,209

Then they'll come

crawling to us.

00:20:42,209 --> 00:20:46,113

That's more valuable

than all the dead chickens!

00:20:47,448 --> 00:20:49,283

Is there anything else

I can get for you?

00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:51,217

No, everything was terrific.

00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,286

Here, take this

for your service.

00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:56,189

It's worth one whole chicken.

00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:57,891

And so it begins.

00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:07,000

My life's boat.

00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:12,573

- God, I love this place.

- Isn't it the best?

00:21:12,573 --> 00:21:14,307

Did you get any of that?

00:21:16,744 --> 00:21:18,311

Bento.