Великие

00:00:07,849 --> 00:00:10,387

O Ares,

great god of war,

00:00:10,387 --> 00:00:13,962

we thank you

for this glorious victory and--

00:00:13,962 --> 00:00:15,699

Ares, you're here!

00:00:15,699 --> 00:00:16,734

Of course!

00:00:16,734 --> 00:00:17,936

You fought bravely.

00:00:17,936 --> 00:00:19,305

I wanted to come

congratulate you.

00:00:19,305 --> 00:00:21,343

army:

All hail Ares!

00:00:21,343 --> 00:00:22,545

Yes, yes,

I'll take your praise

00:00:22,645 --> 00:00:24,215

and whatever sacrifices

you want to make.

00:00:24,215 --> 00:00:25,283

Just put them over there.

00:00:25,383 --> 00:00:29,993

But first, form a circle

and take turns spanking me.

00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:31,429

I'm sorry. What?

00:00:31,429 --> 00:00:35,204

Form a circle and take turns

swatting my behind.

00:00:35,204 --> 00:00:38,109

Is this, like, a ceremony?

00:00:38,109 --> 00:00:39,378

You can call it

whatever you want,

00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:41,015

but it's definitely happening.

00:00:41,015 --> 00:00:42,118

Don't look away.

00:00:42,218 --> 00:00:44,055

Your disgust is part of this.

00:00:44,055 --> 00:00:45,090

OK.

00:00:45,090 --> 00:00:47,027

Uh, all hail--

00:00:47,128 --> 00:00:48,262

Just get to it!

00:00:48,262 --> 00:00:50,000

If anyone asks,

I didn't do this.

00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,837

I did something normal.

00:00:51,837 --> 00:00:53,273

Ares!

00:00:53,273 --> 00:00:56,312

What the hell are you doing?

00:00:56,312 --> 00:00:57,749

What?

00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,224

Ares, son of Zeus,

god of war, civic order, and--

00:01:02,224 --> 00:01:04,996

this I did not know--uncles,

00:01:04,996 --> 00:01:07,034

we find you guilty of conduct

00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,905

unbecoming of an Olympian.

00:01:08,905 --> 00:01:10,541

Oh, this is bullcrap!

00:01:10,541 --> 00:01:13,446

Since when are we supposed to

be ashamed of what we're into?

00:01:13,446 --> 00:01:16,085

Didn't sound like

your worshippers were into it.

00:01:16,085 --> 00:01:17,722

That's what I'm into!

00:01:17,722 --> 00:01:19,025

You all have your kinks.

00:01:19,025 --> 00:01:20,695

You had sex with your brother.

00:01:20,695 --> 00:01:24,135

You fell in love with a baby

and locked him in a box.

00:01:24,235 --> 00:01:27,274

You turned a woman

into that flute you blow.

00:01:30,181 --> 00:01:32,853

The fact remains,

your thing is weird.

00:01:32,853 --> 00:01:34,222

Says the squid diddler.

00:01:34,222 --> 00:01:36,426

Darlene is an octopus!

00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:37,595

Enough.

00:01:37,595 --> 00:01:39,934

You are to be stripped

of your titles,

00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,870

removed from Mount Olympus,

00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:44,743

and downgraded to a minor god.

00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:45,912

Get him out of here.

00:01:45,912 --> 00:01:47,014

Oh, we're stripping titles?

00:01:47,014 --> 00:01:48,217

I'll take battle lust.

00:01:48,217 --> 00:01:49,853

I'll take courage

if no one wants it.

00:01:49,853 --> 00:01:51,122

Oh, I love that for you.

00:01:51,122 --> 00:01:52,224

Could I take war?

00:01:52,224 --> 00:01:53,728

I'm war too!

00:01:53,728 --> 00:01:54,663

both: War buddies!

00:01:54,663 --> 00:01:58,838

Ugh, I hate

that I'm enjoying this.

00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,423

Did you guys hear that--

all: We heard.

00:02:25,423 --> 00:02:27,194

It's on every vase in town.

00:02:27,194 --> 00:02:29,398

They finally got

the old bastard for spanking.

00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:31,369

- You knew?

- It was an open secret.

00:02:31,369 --> 00:02:33,508

Every soldier I know

has a story about Ares.

00:02:33,508 --> 00:02:35,077

Where do you think

we got the expression

00:02:35,077 --> 00:02:36,947

"swat the butt of victory"?

00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:37,916

That's where that came from.

00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,753

I thought it was just one

of your gibberish war cries,

00:02:39,753 --> 00:02:42,090

like the other one,

"Let's bum slap the old man"--

00:02:42,090 --> 00:02:43,226

Oh, yeah, I'm hearing it.

00:02:43,326 --> 00:02:44,495

I'm putting it together now.

00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:46,933

So, Mom,

there's an opening on Olympus.

00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,103

You gonna try to get back in?

00:02:48,103 --> 00:02:49,606

Why?

Because they kicked me out?

00:02:49,606 --> 00:02:51,243

I don't care

that they kicked me out.

00:02:51,243 --> 00:02:52,746

Maybe I kicked them out.

00:02:52,746 --> 00:02:55,852

Did you ever bother to ask me

who kicked out whom?

00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,254

Shlub, subject change.

00:02:57,254 --> 00:02:58,891

All right, I'm starving.

00:02:58,891 --> 00:03:00,027

Where is our food?

00:03:00,027 --> 00:03:01,229

And as a follow-up question,

00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:02,699

did our food

kill our staff again?

00:03:02,799 --> 00:03:05,004

And as another follow-up,

may I eat them?

00:03:05,004 --> 00:03:06,272

No, the staff isn't dead.

00:03:06,272 --> 00:03:07,308

People are just

leaving the city.

00:03:07,308 --> 00:03:10,180

Yesterday three families

went back to the wilderness.

00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,248

Back to the wilderness?

00:03:11,248 --> 00:03:12,518

Why would anyone do that?

00:03:12,518 --> 00:03:14,121

They said

it's because of the poop.

00:03:14,121 --> 00:03:16,026

There's poop

piling up everywhere.

00:03:16,026 --> 00:03:17,294

Makes sense to me.

00:03:17,294 --> 00:03:19,298

There's no better way

to mark your territory.

00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:21,436

Yeah, by the way,

I noticed your territory

00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:24,375

has expanded

to the hallway outside my lab.

00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:27,281

And if you want it back,

you know how to get it.

00:03:27,281 --> 00:03:28,416

I don't understand

why people aren't

00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,953

just taking care of their poo.

00:03:29,953 --> 00:03:31,422

Do you take care of your poo?

00:03:31,422 --> 00:03:34,161

Yes, I poo in a little box,

and Kyle deals with it

00:03:34,161 --> 00:03:35,731

so I don't have to touch it.

00:03:35,731 --> 00:03:36,533

Thank you, Kyle.

00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,003

I could make people

stop pooing.

00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:39,172

Mom, no.

00:03:39,172 --> 00:03:40,608

Remember,

it makes them explode?

00:03:40,608 --> 00:03:43,346

Don't ask for pitches

and then poke holes in them.

00:03:43,346 --> 00:03:45,184

Hole pokers receive no pitches.

00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,419

Tell that to Ares.

00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:52,097

Supercool--

00:03:55,037 --> 00:03:56,238

Supercool entrance.

00:03:56,238 --> 00:03:57,407

Oh, dear God.

00:03:57,508 --> 00:03:58,644

Oh, that's so nice.

00:03:58,644 --> 00:04:00,280

I didn't know

if you'd remember me.

00:04:01,483 --> 00:04:02,953

You don't remember me.

00:04:02,953 --> 00:04:04,489

I'm Salt, your cousin.

00:04:04,489 --> 00:04:06,392

We talked a couple

of thousand years ago

00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:08,463

at Orpheus

and Eurydice's wedding.

00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:10,568

I was the one who--

- Smelled of seaweed.

00:04:10,568 --> 00:04:12,839

I'm afraid I do

remember you after all.

00:04:12,839 --> 00:04:13,674

Salt?

00:04:13,807 --> 00:04:15,811

He's the god

who makes seawater pukey.

00:04:15,811 --> 00:04:19,218

Mm-hmm, I serve a crucial

role in the ocean biome.

00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,188

You give sailors diarrhea.

00:04:21,188 --> 00:04:22,525

That's my main power, yeah.

00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:25,363

Anyway, I'm just

on the way up to Olympus.

00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:28,202

They're having a contest

to find the next Olympian.

00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:29,606

Maybe you could help me win it,

00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:31,677

give me some pointers

and advice.

00:04:31,677 --> 00:04:34,448

Mm, my advice is,

don't embarrass yourself.

00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,085

It's a cool kids club.

00:04:36,085 --> 00:04:37,421

Do you understand

what that means?

00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,192

Of course you don't.

I rescind the question.

00:04:39,192 --> 00:04:40,493

I know what it means,

00:04:40,493 --> 00:04:42,966

but shouldn't Olympus

be better than that,

00:04:42,966 --> 00:04:44,135

more inclusive?

00:04:44,135 --> 00:04:45,938

I have a lot to offer.

00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:47,074

No one agrees.

00:04:47,074 --> 00:04:48,210

Well, we'll just see.

00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:49,980

And supercool exit!

00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:51,517

Whoa!

00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:54,388

That guy wants

to take Ares' place?

00:04:54,388 --> 00:04:56,392

Who even prays to him, algae?

00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:57,528

And krill.

00:04:57,528 --> 00:04:59,632

Lovely creatures,

jewels of the ocean.

00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,803

Not so lovely

if you're a krill woman.

00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:04,409

Their whole society

is built on sexism.

00:05:04,409 --> 00:05:06,913

Why do you have

to bring gender into it?

00:05:06,913 --> 00:05:08,383

You kids ruin everything.

00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:10,621

You were stoked

when Ares got canceled.

00:05:10,621 --> 00:05:13,292

It's called virtue signaling.

00:05:13,292 --> 00:05:16,332

Welcome, gods,

both major and minor.

00:05:16,332 --> 00:05:18,369

Minors suck.

00:05:18,369 --> 00:05:20,641

Yeah, OK, OK,

let's try to keep it godly.

00:05:20,641 --> 00:05:22,679

I don't really have a cough.

00:05:22,679 --> 00:05:24,950

Today we begin

the process of selecting

00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:25,818

the next Olympian.

00:05:25,818 --> 00:05:27,655

And I want you all

to know that this

00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:29,926

is an entirely real contest.

00:05:29,926 --> 00:05:33,232

We are definitely not staging

this whole thing just to...

00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:34,903

Laugh at minor gods.

00:05:34,903 --> 00:05:37,407

So let's meet our contestants.

00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:39,646

I am Meticulus,

god of getting

00:05:39,646 --> 00:05:43,353

little things lined up in

the correct order or groupings.

00:05:43,353 --> 00:05:45,424

Groupings and order?

Hmm.

00:05:45,424 --> 00:05:47,160

Order or groupings.

00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,365

- Oh, my.

- OK, next.

00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:52,304

I am Nocturnus,

god of nocturnal emissions.

00:05:52,304 --> 00:05:53,406

Mm.

00:05:53,406 --> 00:05:55,477

And how does one

become god of that?

00:05:55,477 --> 00:05:57,181

Honestly, it just happens.

00:05:58,182 --> 00:05:59,117

I'm Jinx.

00:05:59,117 --> 00:06:01,856

I'm the god of that thing

where two people

00:06:01,856 --> 00:06:04,596

say the same thing

at the same time.

00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:05,998

I'm pretty fun.

00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:07,200

Humans love me.

00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,573

Goddess of cups

and containers.

00:06:09,573 --> 00:06:12,712

Goddess of oranges

but just the rind.

00:06:12,712 --> 00:06:15,117

God of that thing where you

feel like you have a sneeze

00:06:15,117 --> 00:06:16,786

but you never get there.

00:06:16,786 --> 00:06:20,661

And I'm also the god

of when orgasms do that too.

00:06:21,663 --> 00:06:23,266

Now, you,

what's your minor deal?

00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:24,334

Uh, hi.

00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:26,506

Uh, I'm Salt, god of salt.

00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:28,443

And I'm here because I believe

00:06:28,443 --> 00:06:30,447

Olympians can be better.

00:06:30,447 --> 00:06:33,955

Yeah, we can set the standard

for all the gods

00:06:33,955 --> 00:06:37,962

as beacons of light,

wisdom, and harmony.

00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,335

Deliria, I'm glad

to see you made it

00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,839

to this god replacement

competition

00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:44,877

since you couldn't

make it to your own.

00:06:44,877 --> 00:06:47,414

You're not here to try

to get back in, are you?

00:06:47,414 --> 00:06:48,851

No, I would never

want back in

00:06:48,851 --> 00:06:51,488

because I have self-respect

and a brain.

00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:53,860

I love how you're making

yourself the hero of it.

00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:56,499

Anyway, it doesn't matter

because we already know

00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,936

who we're going to choose.

00:06:57,936 --> 00:06:59,205

Hi, y'all.

00:06:59,305 --> 00:07:00,507

I'm Makenzus.

00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,512

I'm goddess

of hats and accessories,

00:07:02,512 --> 00:07:04,783

and I love jewelry

and going on boats

00:07:04,783 --> 00:07:06,419

and horseback riding

with Athena,

00:07:06,419 --> 00:07:08,155

who's, like, my best friend.

00:07:08,155 --> 00:07:10,595

Hi, Thenie!

00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:16,105

- Hippo, where are you on the--

- Shh, shh! Not now.

00:07:16,105 --> 00:07:18,243

It's almost done.

00:07:18,243 --> 00:07:20,313

I call it mass media.

00:07:20,313 --> 00:07:22,518

This could revolutionize

journalism.

00:07:22,619 --> 00:07:24,087

You should be

revolutionizing poo!

00:07:24,087 --> 00:07:26,894

Oh, so the guy who has

his own personal poo handler

00:07:26,894 --> 00:07:31,135

is ordering me to be everyone

else's personal poo handler.

00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:32,037

I'm the king.

00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:33,774

If that doesn't get me

out of handling poo,

00:07:33,774 --> 00:07:35,745

then why did I even buy this

crown and call myself king?

00:07:35,745 --> 00:07:37,414

Well, I'm a supergenius.

00:07:37,414 --> 00:07:39,252

This problem is beneath me.

00:07:39,252 --> 00:07:40,420

It's beneath everyone.

00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,890

And I need it

to stop being that.

00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:44,295

both: You're so annoying!

Jinx!

00:07:44,295 --> 00:07:45,531

Hey, yo.

00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:46,800

Oh, Jinx, you got us.

00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,504

Why do I love

when that happens?

00:07:48,504 --> 00:07:50,139

Thanks.

Yeah, it's just fun, right?

00:07:50,139 --> 00:07:52,645

It really is, even

in the middle of an argument.

00:07:52,645 --> 00:07:55,083

It just reminds you not to take

everything so seriously.

00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,622

Thanks. Yeah, that's

what I was going for.

00:07:57,622 --> 00:07:59,157

both: Well, you nailed it.

00:08:01,095 --> 00:08:02,932

It's just always good.

00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:05,705

Anyway, can you please

deal with the poo?

00:08:05,705 --> 00:08:06,807

Yeah, I'll take a look at it.

00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:11,917

OK, so you rolled a Pegasus,

so your guy's dead.

00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:14,755

- Salt, I'm getting you in.

- You're gonna help me?

00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:17,695

Was it because of my speech

about making things better?

00:08:17,695 --> 00:08:18,764

Did you give a speech?

00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:20,601

No, it's because

those people

00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,103

shouldn't get

everything they want.

00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:22,905

That's right.

00:08:23,039 --> 00:08:24,843

Why shouldn't one

of the good guys get in?

00:08:24,843 --> 00:08:27,447

Wrong takeaway, but we're

on the same side here.

00:08:27,447 --> 00:08:28,951

I can't wait

to see Athena's face

00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:31,657

when one of you losers

moves in next door.

00:08:31,657 --> 00:08:33,293

To change things.

00:08:33,293 --> 00:08:34,495

Aw.

00:08:34,495 --> 00:08:35,964

Now, stand up

straight and tall,

00:08:35,964 --> 00:08:39,105

shoulders back, chin out,

and ditch your friends.

00:08:39,105 --> 00:08:40,608

- Huh?

- I'm taking Salt.

00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:42,778

You'll never see him again.

Minors suck.

00:08:46,786 --> 00:08:49,826

And hair and toga and armor.

00:08:49,826 --> 00:08:52,131

There, you're looking

more Olympian already.

00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,199

Now let me see you walk.

00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,335

The walk is important.

00:08:54,335 --> 00:08:55,638

Chin up.

00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:57,040

Oop, I'm sorry.

00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:57,876

You're what?

00:08:57,876 --> 00:08:59,612

I'm not sorry.

00:08:59,612 --> 00:09:00,815

Grow a pair!

00:09:00,815 --> 00:09:02,652

And watch

where you're going, mortal!

00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:03,787

Now, who are you?

00:09:03,787 --> 00:09:05,724

- I'm Salt--

- Saltus.

00:09:05,724 --> 00:09:09,331

I am Saltus,

god of ocean battles.

00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:10,634

Yes.

00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:13,239

Born from the briny depths

of the darkest sea.

00:09:13,239 --> 00:09:14,642

Sailors fear me,

00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:17,515

for I give life

or I bring death.

00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,753

Forgive me, O great Salt.

00:09:19,853 --> 00:09:21,455

Now turn him into something.

00:09:21,455 --> 00:09:23,727

- Huh?

- Zap him, like this.

00:09:23,727 --> 00:09:25,497

Flavius?

Flavius?

00:09:25,497 --> 00:09:26,734

I'm down here.

00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,704

This is our reality now.

00:09:28,704 --> 00:09:30,641

Well, that seems

so mean and pointless.

00:09:30,641 --> 00:09:31,910

No argument here.

00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:33,346

The gods

you're trying to impress

00:09:33,346 --> 00:09:34,783

are mean and pointless.

00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,154

They'll never respect you

if you're nice.

00:09:37,154 --> 00:09:37,922

But I am nice.

00:09:38,056 --> 00:09:39,660

I want to be

the nice guy on Olympus.

00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:40,728

I would love that.

00:09:40,728 --> 00:09:41,763

Once I get you in there,

00:09:41,763 --> 00:09:43,534

you can be as nice

as you want.

00:09:43,534 --> 00:09:45,137

Now ruin this man's life.

00:09:45,137 --> 00:09:48,176

So this is like

a training thing or--

00:09:48,276 --> 00:09:49,278

Keep going.

00:09:49,278 --> 00:09:50,514

Get freaky with it.

00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:52,552

Because we could do it

as role-play

00:09:52,552 --> 00:09:54,221

if that makes it easier.

00:09:54,221 --> 00:09:55,456

It's easier for me.

00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:56,760

Well, now it's

just a giraffe.

00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,164

Put some snake back in.

00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:00,200

Perfect.

00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:00,935

Is it, though?

00:10:00,935 --> 00:10:02,972

Flavius, I can't do this.

00:10:02,972 --> 00:10:05,578

I can't make it work

with you looking like that.

00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:08,751

OK, she left me.

00:10:08,751 --> 00:10:11,355

She only liked me for my body,

00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:13,527

which, you know,

is good to know.

00:10:13,627 --> 00:10:15,531

Got to say,

I surprised myself.

00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:17,033

I ended up loving

this assignment.

00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,071

- Really?

- It's cutting-edge science.

00:10:19,071 --> 00:10:20,975

Let me take you

on a little journey.

00:10:20,975 --> 00:10:23,880

These are my early attempts,

all variations on a theme.

00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,721

The idea was to attack

the problem inside the body.

00:10:27,721 --> 00:10:29,825

This is a standard

suction device.

00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:31,763

This one goes in

through the throat.

00:10:31,763 --> 00:10:33,365

This one was interesting.

00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:36,372

I asked myself, what if you

could turn poop into gold?

00:10:36,372 --> 00:10:37,575

The answer was no.

00:10:37,575 --> 00:10:39,278

I pooped gold once...

00:10:39,278 --> 00:10:40,948

'cause I ate gold.

00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:43,553

Then I started working

on moving the pooper

00:10:43,553 --> 00:10:44,989

instead of the poop.

00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:47,293

You'll see right away

what the problem is.

00:10:47,293 --> 00:10:48,530

Now! Now!

00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:50,167

Now, now, now!

00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:51,536

Now!

00:10:51,536 --> 00:10:52,705

Sorry, boss.

00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:54,509

I couldn't get there in time.

00:10:54,609 --> 00:10:56,613

You did your best, soldier.

00:10:56,613 --> 00:10:58,015

Then I started

focusing on holes.

00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:01,389

Poop and holes have

a long-standing relationship.

00:11:01,389 --> 00:11:05,664

I was getting closer,

but testers keep falling in.

00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:07,568

All sorts of problems

with this one.

00:11:07,568 --> 00:11:08,937

This one, we had to modify to--

00:11:08,937 --> 00:11:10,941

OK, well, that's user error.

00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:12,712

But then it finally hit me.

00:11:12,712 --> 00:11:14,582

This is the poo chair.

00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,152

It's just like

your personal poo chair,

00:11:16,152 --> 00:11:18,724

but this one has a tube that

goes right out to the ocean.

00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:19,993

That's genius.

00:11:19,993 --> 00:11:22,631

The water becomes

everyone's Kyle.

00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:23,867

You want to take it

for a spin?

00:11:23,867 --> 00:11:25,604

Oh, I'm afraid

that's impossible.

00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:26,740

I'm a shy pooer.

00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:27,942

Do you poop in front of Kyle?

00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:30,748

Yes, but only because I've

dehumanized him in my mind.

00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:33,319

But if there's one thing

I can do, I can sell.

00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:35,991

You get this thing ready,

and I will push the crap out

00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:38,664

of pushing the crap into it.

00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,701

Do I have

to go to this party?

00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,103

The party

is the most important part.

00:11:42,103 --> 00:11:44,775

They have to like you

but not be jealous of you

00:11:44,775 --> 00:11:46,345

but be slightly jealous of you

00:11:46,345 --> 00:11:48,750

but just enough that they want

to keep you close.

00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,186

I don't know how to do that.

00:11:50,186 --> 00:11:52,224

Well, just remember

the catchphrases I taught you.

00:11:52,224 --> 00:11:54,896

Shallow people really

latch on to catchphrases.

00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:56,633

They're conversational

training wheels.

00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,102

Yeah, I got them.

00:11:58,102 --> 00:12:00,675

"This guy gets it,"

"man after my own heart,"

00:12:00,675 --> 00:12:02,143

and "marry me already."

00:12:02,143 --> 00:12:04,916

Oh, look at my perfect

little douchebag.

00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:06,786

Do you really think

you could make Olympus better?

00:12:06,786 --> 00:12:08,924

- I do.

- I think you just might.

00:12:08,924 --> 00:12:12,397

Now, get in there and wow them

but not too much.

00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:17,675

Well, well, well,

look who decided to show.

00:12:17,675 --> 00:12:19,946

This guy gets it.

00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:20,848

What?

00:12:20,848 --> 00:12:23,019

Man after my own heart.

00:12:23,019 --> 00:12:24,956

He's clever.

00:12:24,956 --> 00:12:26,593

Without being threatening.

00:12:26,593 --> 00:12:28,798

Let me get you a drink.

00:12:28,798 --> 00:12:30,500

Marry me already.

00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,703

Oh, yeah.

00:12:31,703 --> 00:12:33,373

This guy gets it!

00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:36,546

You see that?

You see that?

00:12:37,581 --> 00:12:39,084

This guy gets it.

00:12:39,084 --> 00:12:42,357

Aphrodite, I'm Salt,

god of sea battles,

00:12:42,357 --> 00:12:45,998

sailors, sustenance,

and making women happy.

00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,537

Well, I'm the goddess

of love,

00:12:48,537 --> 00:12:49,706

sometimes marriage.

00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:51,108

Well, then marry me already.

00:12:51,108 --> 00:12:53,781

Oh.

00:12:53,781 --> 00:12:55,952

Oh, that's wonderful.

00:12:55,952 --> 00:12:57,522

We like this one.

00:12:57,522 --> 00:12:58,691

Can we keep this one?

00:12:58,691 --> 00:13:00,694

- Where's Salt?

- Where's Salt?

00:13:00,694 --> 00:13:02,430

I think I saw him

with Athena.

00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:07,107

And then you pull this chain,

00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:09,746

releasing water

that washes the poo away,

00:13:09,746 --> 00:13:11,349

never to be seen again.

00:13:11,449 --> 00:13:12,618

Any questions?

00:13:12,618 --> 00:13:14,421

Yeah, I have a question.

00:13:14,421 --> 00:13:15,356

What about snakes?

00:13:15,356 --> 00:13:17,059

What do you mean,

what about snakes?

00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,130

Well, how are you

gonna keep snakes

00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:20,868

from crawling up

through that thing

00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:22,170

and biting me in the butt?

00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:23,874

Why would a snake

even want to do that?

00:13:23,974 --> 00:13:24,975

Why would you

build a tunnel

00:13:24,975 --> 00:13:26,546

right from the river

to my butt?

00:13:26,546 --> 00:13:29,685

Do you think snakes go around

looking for butts to bite?

00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,021

They're not

looking for butts.

00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:32,490

They're just looking

to get out of the box.

00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:35,597

And if there's a butt

in the way, it's getting bit.

00:13:37,099 --> 00:13:39,238

How is it a given that

the snake is even in the box?

00:13:39,238 --> 00:13:41,576

Because you led them

right to it!

00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:44,481

It sounds to me like you guys

are coming up with excuses

00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:45,784

to avoid progress.

00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,020

Why don't you use it?

00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:48,890

I'm not doing that.

It wouldn't be kingly.

00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:50,293

I have to respect the office.

00:13:50,293 --> 00:13:51,763

Come on!

Poop!

00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:53,867

crowd: Poop! Poop!

Poop! Poop!

00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,436

No, absolutely not.

00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:58,175

If you saw me do that, you

would never respect me again.

00:13:58,175 --> 00:14:00,080

If we saw you do it,

at least it would clear up

00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,950

the snake controversy.

00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,154

You guys created

the snake controversy.

00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:08,496

You created what can only be

described as a snake highway.

00:14:08,496 --> 00:14:09,498

What's a highway?

00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:10,634

For snakes?

00:14:10,634 --> 00:14:12,036

This!

00:14:12,036 --> 00:14:14,274

No, come on, she's great.

00:14:14,274 --> 00:14:16,913

All right, I'll see you

at the contest.

00:14:18,884 --> 00:14:20,955

Mwah!

This gal can get it.

00:14:20,955 --> 00:14:23,694

Oh, my God,

you played with the expression.

00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,031

Did you sleep with her?

00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,568

Salt saw an opening,

00:14:27,568 --> 00:14:29,137

and Salt went for it.

00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:30,774

This is us.

You can drop the act.

00:14:30,774 --> 00:14:32,712

Don't do your Deliria thing.

00:14:32,712 --> 00:14:33,814

What's that supposed to mean?

00:14:33,814 --> 00:14:35,316

Well, they told me

all about you,

00:14:35,316 --> 00:14:37,888

how you get all worked up

over dumb stuff

00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:39,892

and then make them

the bad guys?

00:14:39,892 --> 00:14:42,632

You know Athena

has a nickname for you?

00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,102

She calls you Hysteria.

00:14:45,102 --> 00:14:47,340

Never call me Hysteria.

00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:49,545

We were trying

to change Olympus.

00:14:49,545 --> 00:14:51,014

Mm, were we?

00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:54,889

Or were you trying

to piss off Athena, Hysteria?

00:15:00,801 --> 00:15:02,103

Not now.

00:15:03,873 --> 00:15:05,242

I agree,

but I don't see

00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:07,515

why you have

to bring gender into it.

00:15:08,517 --> 00:15:11,354

Well, at least I have

virtue to signal.

00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:17,969

Uh, supercool entrance?

00:15:17,969 --> 00:15:19,572

I don't want your apology.

00:15:19,572 --> 00:15:21,843

You know, I was actually

starting to believe in you.

00:15:21,843 --> 00:15:23,112

No, you weren't.

00:15:23,112 --> 00:15:25,183

No, I really was.

00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:26,987

At first, I just wanted

to hurt Athena,

00:15:27,087 --> 00:15:29,191

but then along came

this wide-eyed boy

00:15:29,191 --> 00:15:31,529

who wanted to do some good.

00:15:31,529 --> 00:15:32,564

What can I say?

00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,034

You grew on me.

00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,238

I'm sorry

I called you Hysteria.

00:15:36,238 --> 00:15:40,113

I guess I just got caught up

in all the glitz and glamor

00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,050

of being with the Olympians.

00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:43,385

Well, I can't

blame you for that.

00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:46,459

I got caught up in it, too,

when they liked me.

00:15:46,459 --> 00:15:47,127

You did?

00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:48,162

I felt important,

00:15:48,162 --> 00:15:49,632

better than the rabble.

00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:50,768

Were we cruel and vapid?

00:15:50,768 --> 00:15:52,605

Yes, but we were the cool kids.

00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:55,511

And when they kicked me out,

I cried like a baby.

00:15:55,511 --> 00:15:56,445

You?

00:15:56,579 --> 00:15:58,282

And instead of admitting

that they hurt me,

00:15:58,282 --> 00:16:00,419

I just vowed

to hurt them worse.

00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:03,025

But if I'm being honest,

maybe on some level,

00:16:03,025 --> 00:16:05,062

I always did want

to change the world.

00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:07,668

Well, maybe

we can still do both.

00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:09,070

Friends?

00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:11,241

Not looking like that,

we aren't.

00:16:12,945 --> 00:16:14,047

What?

That's it?

00:16:14,047 --> 00:16:15,750

You're just gonna

pop my collar?

00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:16,753

You can do the rest yourself.

00:16:16,753 --> 00:16:18,590

I don't like touching you.

00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:19,959

Hmm, what a shame.

00:16:19,959 --> 00:16:21,194

There should be

tons of human waste

00:16:21,194 --> 00:16:22,430

pouring out of this pipe.

00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:24,602

They're just not ready

to modernize.

00:16:24,602 --> 00:16:25,436

But they never are.

00:16:25,436 --> 00:16:27,073

We always have to drag

these people

00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,044

kicking and screaming

into the future.

00:16:29,044 --> 00:16:30,246

Should we be standing here?

00:16:30,246 --> 00:16:32,751

Oh, I thought I could,

like, tempt fate.

00:16:32,751 --> 00:16:35,456

Oh, yeah, yeah, like

when I finally change my water

00:16:35,456 --> 00:16:37,862

and then, bam,

that's when it rains.

00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:39,632

Exactly.

00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,740

Ty, sometimes being a king

means being a leader,

00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:47,046

and sometimes being a leader

means overcoming your fears.

00:16:47,147 --> 00:16:49,819

And sometimes

overcoming your fears--

00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:50,954

I see where you're going.

00:16:51,055 --> 00:16:52,223

It was a pretty good

build, though.

00:16:52,223 --> 00:16:54,227

It had a great rhythm,

no question about it.

00:16:54,227 --> 00:16:55,964

I have to poo

in front of them, don't I?

00:16:55,964 --> 00:16:57,835

Your city needs you.

00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,972

Poop for them.

00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:19,077

Hippo, a word.

00:17:19,077 --> 00:17:20,480

What's up, little brother?

00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,450

You need to listen to me

very carefully

00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:25,056

because I need

to say it very quietly.

00:17:25,056 --> 00:17:27,862

There is currently

a snake biting my ass.

00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,532

Are you serious?

Get up!

00:17:29,532 --> 00:17:31,268

No, no, if I do that,

00:17:31,268 --> 00:17:33,039

we'll lose everything

we've worked for.

00:17:33,039 --> 00:17:34,642

I can't believe

this happened.

00:17:34,642 --> 00:17:35,644

What are the odds?

00:17:35,811 --> 00:17:39,050

It may be the least likely

event in poo history.

00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:40,788

Or maybe someone

put one in there

00:17:40,888 --> 00:17:42,390

just to sabotage progress.

00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:45,396

Whatever the case,

we can't let chaos win.

00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:47,500

Dude, I've never said

or meant this before,

00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,139

but I truly admire you

right now.

00:17:50,139 --> 00:17:52,010

I can't believe

how stoic you're being.

00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:53,245

I thank you for that,

00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,581

but I think most

of what you're seeing

00:17:54,581 --> 00:17:56,920

is symptomatic

of paralyzing venom.

00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,790

OK, OK, don't panic.

00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:00,560

Um, show's over, citizens.

00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:04,401

Everyone go home

and commemorate this moment.

00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:06,706

I'll be back with pliers

and a mongoose.

00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:08,409

Thank you.

00:18:27,179 --> 00:18:29,852

Meticulus,

Nocturnus, Jinx,

00:18:29,852 --> 00:18:30,988

you three are out.

00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:32,792

I didn't even want to come.

00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:34,128

What a mess.

00:18:34,128 --> 00:18:35,931

Screw you, majors!

00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:38,068

From now on, jinxes are bad.

00:18:38,068 --> 00:18:40,372

This is how that happened.

00:18:40,372 --> 00:18:42,911

Yeah, all right, we're down

to our final two contestants,

00:18:42,911 --> 00:18:44,348

Makenzus and Salt.

00:18:44,348 --> 00:18:46,418

We know how strong you are,

how aloof you are,

00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:48,288

and how bang-able you are,

00:18:48,288 --> 00:18:50,359

but what we don't yet know

is who you're willing

00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:52,363

to step on

in order to get here.

00:18:52,363 --> 00:18:54,467

Makenzus,

for your final challenge,

00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,339

you have to be cruel to Athena.

00:18:57,339 --> 00:19:00,045

- What?

- Insult her. Backstab her.

00:19:00,045 --> 00:19:01,883

Say something

you can never take back.

00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:02,985

Go ahead.

00:19:02,985 --> 00:19:04,154

We'll only have

to do this once,

00:19:04,154 --> 00:19:06,091

and then we can be besties

on Olympus.

00:19:06,091 --> 00:19:08,161

Um, well, I, um--

00:19:08,161 --> 00:19:10,366

I just want to say

that sometimes--

00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:11,969

sometimes your shoes

aren't always the best choice

00:19:11,969 --> 00:19:13,105

for your outfit.

00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:15,075

- You bitch!

- Athena, I'm so sorry!

00:19:15,075 --> 00:19:16,779

Don't talk to me, whore!

00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,854

Was that--yeah?

00:19:20,854 --> 00:19:22,390

Oh, yeah.

00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:26,733

Now, Salt, you have to

mercilessly cut down Deliria.

00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,603

crowd: Ooh!

00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:30,339

Oh, come on, Salt.

You're in the lead.

00:19:30,339 --> 00:19:31,910

All you have to do

is eviscerate

00:19:31,910 --> 00:19:32,979

your new best friend.

00:19:32,979 --> 00:19:34,280

- Yeah!

- Come on!

00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,449

Destroy her!

00:19:35,449 --> 00:19:37,019

- Do it!

- Get her out!

00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:38,322

No!

00:19:38,322 --> 00:19:41,128

This woman is better

than everybody here.

00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:42,330

You want to know why?

00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:45,169

Because she cares,

because she feels.

00:19:45,169 --> 00:19:47,541

Sure, you see

the cold exterior,

00:19:47,541 --> 00:19:50,146

but deep inside,

she's got more heart

00:19:50,146 --> 00:19:51,616

than you'll ever have.

00:19:51,616 --> 00:19:54,021

Just last night,

she told me she cried

00:19:54,021 --> 00:19:55,256

when you kicked her out.

00:19:55,256 --> 00:19:57,561

She feels emotional pain.

00:19:57,561 --> 00:20:00,333

And she's not too scared

to admit it.

00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,437

Destroy her?

00:20:02,437 --> 00:20:06,311

I can't, because she's

too good of a god.

00:20:06,311 --> 00:20:09,585

No, too good of a person.

00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:11,990

Oh, my God.

00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:14,661

Dude, you destroyed her!

00:20:14,661 --> 00:20:17,834

That is the cruelest thing

he could have said!

00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:19,872

This is deicide!

00:20:19,872 --> 00:20:21,407

She is such a loser!

00:20:21,407 --> 00:20:24,314

crowd: Salt! Salt!

Salt! Salt! Salt!

00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:26,886

Salt! Salt!

Salt! Salt! Salt!

00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,029

OK, so how does

this game work?

00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:33,365

Your character is a wizard.

00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:35,169

Right now, he's trapped

by this dragon.

00:20:35,169 --> 00:20:36,438

So I kill the dragon?

00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,209

Well, let's find out

if you do.

00:20:38,209 --> 00:20:39,578

What do you mean?

Of course I do.

00:20:39,578 --> 00:20:41,181

No, you see,

the Dungeon Master

00:20:41,181 --> 00:20:42,985

is like a god in this game.

00:20:42,985 --> 00:20:44,321

Thin ice, gentlemen!

00:20:45,657 --> 00:20:48,796

Hmm, you swing

at the dragon and miss.

00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:50,466

Ow, ow, ow!

00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:51,970

OK, you kill the dragon.

00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:53,172

Ooh, this game is fun.

00:20:54,474 --> 00:20:56,478

Got room for one more?

00:20:56,478 --> 00:20:57,548

Shouldn't you be on Olympus?

00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:58,850

Yeah, they kicked me out.

00:20:58,850 --> 00:21:00,587

Ooh, that was fast.

What were the charges?

00:21:00,587 --> 00:21:03,492

Well, apparently,

I'm really bad at sex.

00:21:03,492 --> 00:21:05,362

It's all sex up there.

00:21:05,362 --> 00:21:06,833

But I thought you slept

with Athena at the party.

00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,337

Yeah, but I guess

she has a rule.

00:21:09,337 --> 00:21:12,076

Like, you get one warm-up.

Then you got to deliver.

00:21:12,076 --> 00:21:13,211

Huh, that's fair.

00:21:13,211 --> 00:21:15,149

Also, I didn't

compliment her enough.

00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,653

You know,

she's really insecure.

00:21:16,653 --> 00:21:19,625

- Is she?

- Yeah, I was surprised.

00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:22,063

It was actually kind of

a little bit sad.

00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:23,867

Was it?

Tell me everything.

00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:24,669

About the sex?

00:21:24,669 --> 00:21:25,804

God, no,

about the insecurity.

00:21:25,804 --> 00:21:28,509

Unless the sex was sad.

- It wasn't.

00:21:28,509 --> 00:21:30,647

Then no.

About the insecurity.

00:21:30,647 --> 00:21:32,517

Did you get any of that?

00:21:34,989 --> 00:21:35,990

Bento.

00:00:14,270 --> 00:00:15,930

Арес, ты здесь!

00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:18,150

Конечно! Вы храбро сражались.

00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:19,520

Я хотел вас поздравить.

00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:21,730

Слава Аресу!

00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:24,320

Да, да, я приму восхваление и любые жертвоприношения.

00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,650

Положите их туда.

00:00:25,780 --> 00:00:30,200

Но сперва встаньте в круг и по очереди шлёпните меня.

00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:31,620

Извини, что?

00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:35,410

Встаньте в круг и по очереди хлопните меня по заду.

00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:38,330

Это такая церемония?

00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:41,290

Зовите это как хотите, но вы это сделаете.

00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:44,250

Не отворачивайтесь. Я должен видеть ваше отвращение.

00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:45,300

Ладно.

00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,220

Слава...

00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:48,470

Просто приступай!

00:00:48,510 --> 00:00:50,180

Если спросят, я этого не делал.

00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,010

Я делал что-то нормальное.

00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:53,430

Арес!

00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,520

Что ты вытворяешь?

00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,980

Чего?

00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,502

Арес, сын Зевса, бог войны, гражданского порядка и, этого я не знал, дядь.

00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:08,971

Мы признаём тебя виновным в поведении, недостойном олимпийца.

00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:13,620

Это чушь собачья! С каких пор мы должны стыдиться того, что нам нравится?

00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:16,240

Не похоже, что почитателям это нравилось.

00:01:16,290 --> 00:01:17,910

И мне это нравится!

00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,210

У вас всех свои причуды.

00:01:19,290 --> 00:01:20,870

У тебя был секс с братом.

00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:24,290

Ты влюбилась в ребёнка и заперла его в ящике.

00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:27,420

Ты превратил женщину в эту флейту.

00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,944

Убейте меня.

00:01:30,430 --> 00:01:33,010

Всё равно ты вёл себя странно.

00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,350

Говорит любитель кальмаров.

00:01:34,430 --> 00:01:36,560

ДарлИн осьминог!

00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:37,720

Хватит.

00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:44,900

Ты будешь лишён всех титулов, изгнан с горы Олимп и разжалован в низшие боги.

00:01:45,030 --> 00:01:46,070

Уберите его отсюда.

00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:47,280

Мы лишаем титулов?

00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:48,400

Я возьму жажду битвы.

00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:49,990

Я храбрость, если никто не хочет.

00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:51,360

О, тебе это подойдёт.

00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:52,360

Можно мне войну?

00:01:52,450 --> 00:01:53,700

Я тоже война!

00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,780

Дружище!

00:01:54,870 --> 00:01:58,910

Что самое худшее, я этим наслаждаюсь.

00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:25,520

- Вы слышали?..

- Слышали.

00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:27,320

Это на всех вазах в городе.

00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,480

Стервец наконец попался на шлёпании.

00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:31,450

- Ты знал?

- Это был не секрет.

00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:33,570

У всех солдат есть история об Аресе.

00:02:33,660 --> 00:02:36,740

Думаешь, откуда взялось выражение "шлёпнуть зад победы?"

00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:37,950

Так вот откуда.

00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,933

Я думал, это один из твоих бредовых боевых кличей, вроде того "отшлёпаем старика".

00:02:41,933 --> 00:02:44,670

А, теперь я понял. Теперь дошло.

00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:47,000

Мам, на Олимпе освободилось место.

00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:48,170

Попробуешь вернуться?

00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:51,340

Зачем? Потому что меня выгнали? Мне всё равно.

00:02:51,430 --> 00:02:52,970

Может быть, это я выгнала их.

00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:55,930

Вы даже не спрашивали меня, кто выгнал кого.

00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,350

Шлаб, меняй тему.

00:02:57,390 --> 00:02:58,970

Ладно. Я голоден.

00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:00,100

Где наша еда?

00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,770

И вопрос вдогонку: наша еда опять убила прислугу?

00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:05,190

И еще вопрос: можно я их съем?

00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:07,520

Нет, они не мертвы. Просто люди покидают город.

00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:10,230

Вчера три семьи вернулись в дикую природу.

00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,570

В дикую природу? Зачем им это?

00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,150

Говорят, из-за какашек.

00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,070

Их повсюду целые горы.

00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,330

Логично же, это лучший способ пометить территорию.

00:03:19,410 --> 00:03:24,410

Да, кстати, я заметил, что твоя территория дошла до коридора у моей лаборатории.

00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:27,330

Если хочешь его вернуть, ты знаешь как.

00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:30,000

Я не понимаю, почему люди просто не уберут за собой.

00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:31,460

А ты убираешь за собой?

00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:35,550

Да, я какаю в коробку, а Кайл ее убирает, чтобы мне не пришлось.

00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:36,550

Спасибо, Кайл.

00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,180

- Могу сделать так, чтобы люди не какали.

- Мама, нет.

00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,640

Они от этого взрываются, забыла?

00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,350

Не проси идей, чтобы потом искать в них дыры.

00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,190

За свои дыры ты ничего не получишь.

00:03:45,230 --> 00:03:46,440

Скажи это Аресу.

00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:52,110

Суперкрутое...

00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,280

Суперкрутое появление.

00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,410

О господи.

00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:58,780

О, здорово.

00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:00,970

Я не был уверен, помнишь ли ты меня.

00:04:01,580 --> 00:04:02,950

Ты меня не помнишь.

00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,500

Я Соль, твой кузен.

00:04:04,580 --> 00:04:08,460

Мы общались пару тысяч лет назад на свадьбе орфЕя и эвридИки.

00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,670

- Это я...

- Пах водорослями.

00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,590

Боюсь, я всё-таки помню тебя.

00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:13,630

Соль?

00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,800

Бог, делающий морскую воду тошнотной.

00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,220

Угу. Я играю важную роль в океанском биоме.

00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,180

Из-за тебя у моряков диарея.

00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,510

Это моя главная сила, да.

00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,310

В общем, я поднимаюсь на Олимп.

00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:28,190

Они проводят конкурс на нового олимпийца.

00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:31,770

Ты не поможешь мне победить? Может, дашь пару советов?

00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:34,440

Я посоветую не позориться.

00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:37,400

Этот клуб для крутых ребят. Понимаешь, о чём я?

00:04:37,450 --> 00:04:39,240

Конечно нет. Вопрос снимается.

00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:44,080

Я знаю, что это значит. Но разве Олимп не должен быть более инклюзивным?

00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,910

Я могу многое предложить.

00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,070

Никто не согласен.

00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,160

Ну посмотрим.

00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:51,540

И суперкрутой отход! Ой!

00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:54,340

Этот чел хочет занять место Ареса?

00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,340

Кто ему молится, водоросли?

00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,630

И криль. Милые создания, жемчужины океана.

00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,720

Не такие милые, если ты женщина-криль.

00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:04,430

Их общество построено на сексизме.

00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:08,520

Опять ты о гендерах. Вы, дети, всё портите.

00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,560

Ты был рад, когда Ареса отменили.

00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,230

Это была показная добродетель.

00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:16,660

Приветствую, боги, высшие и низшие.

00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,580

Низшие сосут.

00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,870

Так, так, будем вести себя по-божески.

00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,920

На самом деле я не кашляю.

00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,040

Мы начинаем процесс выбора нового олимпийца.

00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:30,130

И я хочу, чтобы все знали, что это настоящий конкурс.

00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:35,090

Мы не устроили всё это, только чтобы поржать над нижними богами.

00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:37,640

Встречаем претендентов.

00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:43,560

Я Дотошний, бог раскладывания мелочей в правильном порядке или группами.

00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:45,610

Группами или в порядке?

00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:47,360

В порядке или группами.

00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,780

- Ой.

- Ладно, дальше.

00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:52,490

Я Ночник, бог ночных поллюций.

00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,660

Как ты стал богом этого?

00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:57,370

Это просто случилось.

00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,290

Я Сглаз.

00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:04,750

Бог того, что бывает, когда двое людей говорят одно и то же одновременно.

00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:07,380

Я весёлый. Люди меня любят.

00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,880

Богиня кубков и емкостей.

00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,880

Богиня апельсиновой кожуры.

00:06:12,970 --> 00:06:16,970

Бог того, когда ты думаешь что чихнёшь, но всё-таки не чихаешь.

00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:20,810

И по совместительству бог таких же оргазмов.

00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:23,430

Ты, что у тебя за пустячок?

00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,650

Привет. Я Соль, бог соли.

00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:30,820

Я здесь, потому что верю, что олимпийцы могут быть лучше.

00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:38,120

Да, мы можем подать пример всем богам, став маяками света, мудрости и гармонии.

00:06:39,330 --> 00:06:45,040

Делирия, рада, что ты пришла на этот конкурс по замене бога. Свой ты пропустила.

00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,540

Ты ведь не хочешь вернуться назад?

00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:51,630

Нет, я не хочу назад, потому что у меня есть уважение к себе и мозг.

00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:54,352

Мне нравится, как ты выставляешь себя героиней.

00:06:54,435 --> 00:06:58,050

Всё равно это неважно, мы уже знаем, кого выберем.

00:06:58,140 --> 00:06:59,300

Всем привет.

00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:00,640

Я МакЕнза.

00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:08,270

Богиня головных уборов и аксессуаров. Я люблю украшения, плавания и езду верхом с Афиной, моей лучшей подругой.

00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,720

Привет, Фини!

00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,240

- Гиппо, как успехи с?..

- Не сейчас.

00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,360

Я почти закончил.

00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:20,450

Я назвал это СМИ.

00:07:20,490 --> 00:07:22,620

Это революция в журнализме.

00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,200

Нужна революция с какашками!

00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:31,250

Парень, за которым убирают какашки, приказывает мне убрать какашки за всеми остальными.

00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:35,920

Я царь. Если это не избавляет уборки какашек, зачем вообще покупать корону и зваться царём?

00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:39,390

А я супергений. Эта проблема меня недостойна.

00:07:39,430 --> 00:07:41,970

Она не достойна никого. И это нужно исправить.

00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:44,350

Как же ты достал! Сглаз!

00:07:44,390 --> 00:07:45,600

Приветик.

00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:46,850

Сглаз, ты нас подловил.

00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,600

Почему я это обожаю?

00:07:48,610 --> 00:07:50,230

Спасибо. Это просто весело.

00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,940

Это правда. Даже в разгар спора.

00:07:53,030 --> 00:07:55,150

Напоминает не воспринимать всё так серьёзно.

00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,700

Спасибо. Да, к этому я и стремлюсь.

00:07:57,740 --> 00:07:59,240

Тебе удаётся.

00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,290

Это всегда радует.

00:08:03,340 --> 00:08:05,800

Короче, можешь заняться какашками?

00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,170

Да, займусь.

00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:12,260

У тебя выпал пегас, так что ты мёртв.

00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:15,100

- Соль, я тебе помогу.

- Ты мне поможешь?

00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:18,020

Из-за моей речи о переменах к лучшему?

00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:22,230

Ты произносил речь? Нет, потому что они не должны получать всё, что хотят.

00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:25,310

Правильно. Пусть возьмут одного из хороших ребят.

00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,820

Вывод неверный, но мы на одной стороне.

00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:31,990

Не терпится увидеть лицо Афины, когда один из вас, неудачников, поселится по-соседству.

00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,610

За перемены.

00:08:34,910 --> 00:08:39,410

А теперь выпрямись. Плечи назад, выпяти подбородок и брось своих друзей.

00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,910

Я забираю Соль.

00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,120

Вы его больше не увидите. Низшие сосут.

00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:50,130

Причёска, тога и доспехи.

00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:52,550

Вот, ты уже похож на олимпийца.

00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,640

А теперь пройдись. Походка важна.

00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:55,970

Подбородок.

00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:57,260

Извини.

00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:58,180

Что-что?

00:08:58,270 --> 00:08:59,930

Не извини.

00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:01,350

Будь смелее!

00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:02,980

И смотри куда прёшь, смертный!

00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,100

И кто ты?

00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:06,020

- Я Соль.

- СОлус.

00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:09,650

Я Солус, бог океанских битв.

00:09:09,690 --> 00:09:13,530

- Да.

- Рождённый в солёных глубинах темнейшего моря.

00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:17,780

Моряки страшатся меня, ибо я дарю жизнь и приношу смерть.

00:09:17,870 --> 00:09:20,040

Прости меня, о великий Соль.

00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,750

Преврати его во что-нибудь.

00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:24,000

- А?

- Долбани его, вот так.

00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,750

ФлАвий? Флавий?

00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,000

Я здесь, внизу. Это наша новая реальность.

00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:30,920

Это злобно и бессмысленно.

00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:32,210

Не спорю.

00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:37,510

Боги, которых ты хочешь впечатлить, злобные и бессмысленные. Добряков они не уважают.

00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,930

Но я добрый. Я хочу быть добрым богом Олимпа.

00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:41,020

Было бы хорошо.

00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:43,810

Когда тебя примут, будь добрым сколько угодно.

00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,390

А сейчас разрушь его жизнь.

00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,400

Так это тренировка или что?

00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,770

Продолжай. Оттянись по полной.

00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:54,450

Пусть это будут ролевые игры, если так будет проще.

00:09:54,530 --> 00:09:55,700

Мне будет проще.

00:09:55,740 --> 00:09:59,410

Теперь это просто жираф. Верни немного от змеи.

00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:00,280

Идеально.

00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:01,160

Да что вы?

00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,200

Флавий, я так не могу.

00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:05,860

Я не могу быть с тобой, если ты выглядишь так.

00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,000

Она ушла от меня.

00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:13,760

Ей нравилось лишь мое тело. Приятно это осознавать.

00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:17,260

Я сам удивился, но мне в итоге понравилось это задание.

00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,300

- Правда?

- Это передовая наука.

00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:21,180

Давай я тебе покажу.

00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:24,100

Это мои ранние попытки, вариации на одну тему.

00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,940

Идея была в том, чтобы атаковать проблему внутри тела.

00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:30,020

Это стандартный отсос.

00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:31,940

Этот вставляется через рот.

00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,570

Этот был интересным.

00:10:33,610 --> 00:10:36,570

Я спросил себя: можно ли превратить какашки в золото?

00:10:36,660 --> 00:10:37,780

Ответом было "нет".

00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:41,160

Я какала золотом, когда съела золото.

00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,200

Затем я начал работать над перемещением самого какающего.

00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:47,500

Сейчас увидишь, в чём проблема.

00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:48,750

Сейчас! Сейчас!

00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:51,750

Давай, давай! Сейчас!

00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:52,910

Извини, босс.

00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,670

Я не успел вовремя.

00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,800

Ты старался, солдат.

00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,180

Затем я сосредоточился на дырах.

00:10:58,260 --> 00:11:01,550

У какашек с дырами давние взаимоотношения.

00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,810

Я был близок, но испытуемые проваливались внутрь.

00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:07,810

С этой связано множество проблем.

00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,140

Эта требовала доработки.

00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,150

Это пользовательская ошибка.

00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:12,900

Но затем меня озарило.

00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:14,780

Это какательный стул.

00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:18,900

Такой же как твой личный, но в этом есть труба, уходящая в океан.

00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:22,780

Гениально. Вода становится Кайлом для всех.

00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:24,120

Хочешь опробовать?

00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,660

Боюсь, это невозможно. Я стесняюсь.

00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:28,160

Но ты какаешь при Кайле.

00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:30,920

Да, его я перестал считать за человека.

00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,460

Но если я что и умею, так это убеждать.

00:11:33,550 --> 00:11:38,800

Ты доделай эту штуку, а я на дерьмо изойдусь, чтобы дерьмо пошло в нее.

00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,010

Мне обязательно идти на вечеринку?

00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,340

Вечеринка - это самое важное.

00:11:42,430 --> 00:11:48,742

Ты должен им нравиться, и они должны тебе завидовать, но совсем немного, чтобы им хотелось, чтобы ты был рядом.

00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:50,350

Я не умею этого делать.

00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,400

Просто запомни фразы, которым я учила.

00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,020

Поверхностные люди на них падки.

00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:56,860

Они поддерживают разговор.

00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:58,240

Да, я их помню.

00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:02,240

"Этот парень шарит", "он мне по душе" и "когда уже поженимся".

00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:06,910

О, посмотрите на моего прекрасного мерзавца. Ты веришь, что сможешь сделать Олимп лучше?

00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,080

- Да.

- У тебя может получиться.

00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,500

А теперь иди и порази их, но не слишком сильно.

00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,800

Так, так, так. Смотрите, кто решил прийти.

00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,050

Этот парень шарит.

00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,010

Что?

00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,140

Он мне по душе.

00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:25,100

Он умный.

00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,680

Но не угрожающий.

00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:28,890

Я принесу тебе выпить.

00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:30,600

Когда уже поженимся?

00:12:30,690 --> 00:12:31,810

О, да.

00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,520

Этот парень шарит!

00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,650

Видите? Видите?

00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:39,150

Этот парень шарит.

00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:46,160

Афродита, я Соль, бог морских битв, моряков, пропитания и осчастливливания женщин.

00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,790

А я богиня любви и иногда брака.

00:12:49,910 --> 00:12:51,210

Ну, когда уже поженимся?

00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,040

О, чудесно.

00:12:56,090 --> 00:12:57,590

Он нам нравится.

00:12:57,630 --> 00:12:58,750

Можно его оставить?

00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,760

- Где Соль?

- Где Соль?

00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,510

Я видела его с Афиной.

00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:11,390

А затем вы тянете за цепь, вода смывает какашки, и больше вы их не увидите.

00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:12,640

Есть вопросы?

00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:14,520

Да, есть вопрос.

00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:15,650

Что насчёт змей?

00:13:15,730 --> 00:13:17,060

В смысле, каких змей?

00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:22,190

Ну, как вы помешаете змеям проползти по этой штуке и укусить меня за зад?

00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,900

Зачем змее это делать?

00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:26,620

Зачем строить тоннель от реки до моей задницы?

00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:29,740

Думаете, змеи ползают и ищут задницы, чтобы покусать?

00:13:29,790 --> 00:13:31,200

Они не ищут задницы.

00:13:31,290 --> 00:13:32,660

Они ищут выход из коробки.

00:13:32,710 --> 00:13:35,620

И если на пути окажется задница, они ее укусят.

00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:39,380

С чего вы взяли, что в коробке змея?

00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:41,590

Потому что вы привели их туда!

00:13:41,630 --> 00:13:45,760

Звучит так, будто вы выдумываете поводы, чтобы избежать прогресса.

00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,050

Сами им воспользуйтесь.

00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:50,310

Я не стану. Это будет не по-царски. Я должен уважать титул.

00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:51,930

Ну же! Какайте!

00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:53,850

Ну же! Ну же! Ну же! Ну же!

00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:55,480

Нет, ни в коем случае.

00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,190

Если вы это увидите, то перестанете меня уважать.

00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:01,940

По крайней мере это прояснит вопрос со змеями.

00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:04,360

Вы сами себе придумали про змей.

00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:08,490

Вы придумали, иначе и не скажешь, шоссе для змей.

00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:09,490

Что такое шоссе?

00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:10,620

Для змей?

00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:12,160

Это!

00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,250

Нет, она классная.

00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:16,920

Ладно, увидимся на конкурсе.

00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,920

Эта девчонка шарит.

00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,670

Боже мой, ты обыграл выражение.

00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:26,010

Ты переспал с ней?

00:14:26,050 --> 00:14:29,140

Соль увидел возможность и воспользовался ей.

00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:30,760

Со мной можно не прикидываться.

00:14:30,810 --> 00:14:32,810

Не надо мне тут, Делирия.

00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:33,890

Это еще как понимать?

00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:39,860

Мне всё про тебя рассказали. Как ты обиделась из-за какой-то глупости и выставила их виноватыми.

00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,610

Знаешь, как тебя прозвала Афина?

00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:45,070

Она зовёт тебя Истерия.

00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:47,280

Никогда меня так не зови.

00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,490

Мы пытались изменить Олимп.

00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:54,830

Правда? Или ты пыталась позлить Афину, Истерия?

00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:02,040

Не сейчас.

00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,220

Я согласен, но при чём здесь гендеры?

00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:11,300

Ну, показная лучше, чем никакой.

00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:17,890

Э, суперкрутое появление?

00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:19,480

Мне не нужно твое извинение.

00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,770

А я ведь начала в тебя верить.

00:15:21,860 --> 00:15:23,020

Не может быть.

00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:25,230

Нет, правда начала.

00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:31,450

Сперва я хотела только задеть Афину, но затем появился наивный парнишка, который хотел творить добро.

00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:33,950

Что сказать? Я к тебе привязалась.

00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:36,160

Извини, что назвал тебя Истерией.

00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:41,920

Когда я оказался, в компании олимпийцев, меня увлекли их блеск и гламур.

00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:46,380

Не могу тебя винить. Со мной было так же, когда я им нравилась.

00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:47,050

Правда?

00:15:47,090 --> 00:15:50,680

Я чувствовала себя важной. Были ли мы жестокими и безвкусными?

00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,510

Да, но мы были крутыми ребятами.

00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,140

И когда меня выгнали, я плакала, как ребёнок.

00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:56,310

Ты?

00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:00,310

И вместо того чтобы признать, что мне больно, я поклялась сделать им еще больнее.

00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:04,900

Но если честно, в какой-то степени я всегда хотела изменить мир.

00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:07,530

Мы еще можем сделать то и то.

00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:08,940

Друзья?

00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:11,150

Не пока ты так выглядишь.

00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:15,620

Что? И всё? Ты просто подняла мне воротник?

00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:18,450

Остальное сам. Мне неприятно тебя касаться.

00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,130

Какая жалость.

00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:22,760

Из этой трубы должны литься тонны нечистот.

00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,550

Они не готовы к новшествам.

00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:25,590

Как и всегда.

00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:29,220

Нам вечно приходится с визгом и криками тащить их в будущее.

00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,470

Стоит ли тут стоять?

00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,890

О, почему бы не искусить судьбу.

00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:37,980

Да, да, как когда я наконец меняю воду - и тут, бам, идёт дождь.

00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,480

Именно.

00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:44,457

Ти, иногда быть царём - значит быть лидером.

00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:47,314

А быть лидером - значит преодолевать страхи.

00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:49,950

И иногда преодолевать страхи...

00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,200

Я понял, о чём ты.

00:16:51,330 --> 00:16:52,500

Это был хороший заход.

00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:54,370

С отличным ритмом, несомненно.

00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:56,080

Я должен покакать при них, да?

00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:57,960

Ты нужен городу.

00:16:58,090 --> 00:17:00,090

Покакай для них.

00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:19,190

Гиппо, на пару слов.

00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,610

Что такое, братишка?

00:17:20,650 --> 00:17:25,150

Слушай очень внимательно, потому что я скажу это очень тихо.

00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,070

Прямо сейчас змея кусает мой зад.

00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,620

Ты серьёзно? Вставай!

00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:33,120

Нет, нет, тогда мы потеряем всё, над чем работали.

00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:35,750

Поверить не могу. Каковы шансы?

00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,130

Это наименее вероятное событие в истории какания.

00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:42,460

А может, кто-то засунул ее туда, чтобы затормозить прогресс.

00:17:42,510 --> 00:17:45,470

В любом случае, не дадим хаосу победить.

00:17:45,550 --> 00:17:50,220

Чувак, я никогда этого не говорил, но сейчас я искренне тобой восхищаюсь.

00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,100

Меня поражает твоя стойкость.

00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:57,020

Благодарю, но думаю, в первую очередь это симптомы парализующего яда.

00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:58,850

Ладно, не паникуй.

00:17:58,940 --> 00:18:00,730

Зрелище окончено, граждане.

00:18:00,770 --> 00:18:04,480

Все идите домой и отпразднуйте этот момент.

00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:06,740

Я вернусь с клещами и мангустом.

00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,490

Спасибо.

00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:31,010

Дотошний, Ночник, Сглаз, вы выбываете.

00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,800

Я даже не хотел приходить.

00:18:32,890 --> 00:18:34,180

Что за бардак.

00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:35,970

Пошли вы, высшие!

00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:38,100

С этого дня сглаз это плохо.

00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:40,400

Вот как это случилось.

00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,360

Ладно, остаются двое последних претендентов, Макенза и Соль.

00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,649

Мы знаем, какие вы сильные, какие беззаботные и какие горячие.

00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,285

Но пока не знаем, через кого вы готовы переступить, чтобы попасть сюда.

00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:57,370

Макенза, вот твое последнее испытание. Поступи жестоко с Афиной.

00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:00,080

- Что?

- Оскорби ее. Ударь в спину.

00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:01,960

Скажи что-нибудь непоправимое.

00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:06,170

Вперёд. Это нужно сделать всего раз, а потом будем лучшими подругами на Олимпе.

00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:08,170

Ну, я...

00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:10,470

Я хочу сказать, что иногда...

00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,090

Иногда ты не очень удачно подбираешь обувь.

00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:15,060

- Ах ты сука!

- Афина, прости меня!

00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:16,770

Не говори со мной, шлюха!

00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:20,810

Я прошла?

00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:22,440

О да.

00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,690

Соль, ты должен беспощадно обойтись с Делирией.

00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:30,360

Давай, Соль. Ты лидируешь.

00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,950

Ты должен лишь выпотрошить свою лучшую подругу.

00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,240

- Да

- Давай!

00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:35,450

Уничтожь ее!

00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:36,990

- Давай!

- Сделай это!

00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,290

Нет!

00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:42,290

Эта женщина лучше всех вас. Хотите знать почему?

00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:45,130

Ей не всё равно, у нее есть чувства.

00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:51,760

Конечно, снаружи она холодна, но зато сердце у нее больше, чем может быть у любого из вас.

00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,260

Только вчера она сказала, что плакала, когда вы выгнали ее.

00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,510

Она чувствует эмоциональную боль.

00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,270

И не боится это признать.

00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:02,350

Уничтожить ее?

00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:06,270

Я не могу, она слишком хороший бог.

00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,530

Нет, слишком хорошая личность.

00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:11,900

Боже мой.

00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:14,610

Чувак, ты уничтожил ее!

00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:17,780

Это самое жестокое, что он мог сказать!

00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:19,870

Это богоубийство!

00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,330

Она такая неудачница!

00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,420

Соль! Соль! Соль! Соль! Соль!

00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,790

Соль! Соль! Соль! Соль! Соль!

00:20:30,057 --> 00:20:32,220

Так как в это играть?

00:20:32,270 --> 00:20:35,350

Твой персонаж - волшебник. Сейчас он попался дракону.

00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,730

Я убиваю дракона?

00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:38,440

Давай выясним, да или нет.

00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,770

В смысле? Конечно да.

00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:43,190

Нет, мастер подземелий в этой игре подобен богу.

00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,530

Ты на тонком льду!

00:20:45,950 --> 00:20:48,990

Ты промахиваешься мимо дракона.

00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:52,160

Ай, ай, ай! Ладно, ты убила дракона.

00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,440

Весёлая игра.

00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:56,660

Есть место для еще одного?

00:20:56,710 --> 00:20:57,870

Почему ты не на Олимпе?

00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,130

Они меня выгнали.

00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:00,750

Быстро. По какому обвинению?

00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,670

Я оказался очень плох в сексе.

00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,550

Там сплошной секс.

00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:07,010

Но ты же переспал с Афиной.

00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:09,550

Да, но у нее есть правило.

00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,260

Один разогрев, а потом нужно выложиться.

00:21:12,350 --> 00:21:13,390

Справедливо.

00:21:13,430 --> 00:21:16,810

И я сделал ей мало комплиментов. Она очень закомплексованная.

00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,770

- Да ладно?

- Да, я был удивлён.

00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:22,360

Было даже немного печально.

00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,820

Да что ты? Рассказывай.

00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:24,820

О сексе?

00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:25,990

Боже, нет, о комплексах.

00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:28,650

- Если секс не был печальным.

- Не был.

00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:30,780

Тогда нет. О комплексах.