Война с розами

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Речь царя должна быть главным событием их недели.

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Злишься, что тебя освистали?

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Я изобрёл освистывание.

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До меня все выражали неодобрение, махая задницами.

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Я предпочитал это.

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Да, вот как надо показывать неодобрение.

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Нет, освистывание лучше. Но нельзя использовать его против изобретателя.

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О, должно быть супер освистывание против тех, кто освистывает неправильно.

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Дурацкая природа опять атакует город.

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В пятый раз за месяц.

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- Что теперь?

- Дамба.

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Деревья прорастили корни под рекой и полностью снесли ее.

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Да мать вашу. От этой дамбы должны были работать все мельницы города.

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Человек против природы. Классическая борьба.

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Мне ли не знать. Мои людские части постоянно отвергают природные.

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Сыпь ужасная.

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За всем стоят эти дурацкие древесные нимфы.

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Ну не обязательно.

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Ты думаешь, деревья снесли наши мельницы сами по себе?

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А волки украли все молотки веселья ради?

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И маленькие насекомые постоянно залетают нам в рот по случайности?

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Просто проглоти ее!

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И позволить мухе победить? Ни за что!

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Я не понимаю.

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У нас долго было перемирие.

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Люди остаются в городе, а природа в лесу.

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Люди в лесу умирают страшной смертью.

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Растения в городе умирают без внимания.

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Зачем природе нарушать этот баланс?

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Может, потому что мы расширяем город за счёт леса, срубаем деревья, строим из них новые дома,

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готовим лесных животных и едим их с лесными растениями?

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Для природы мы по сути машина смерти.

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Тоже мне, любитель природы. Ты что, женат на дереве?

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Я просто вижу точку зрения природы.

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Это уже влияет на мое одобрение. Оно упало до тридцати процентов.

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Кажется, это три.

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Разве каждый человечек это не десять процентов населения?

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Нет, каждый человечек это один человек.

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Тебя поддерживают трое.

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Что? Они должны означать не меньше пяти процентов.

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Нужно это изменить.

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Я предлагаю объявить войну лесу и перебить их всех.

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Я уже срубила деревья вокруг дворца, потому что они выпускали споры, которые превращали слуг в зомби-шпионов.

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Хорошо, что мы поймали их всех.

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Что?

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Иди сюда!

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Я однажды встречался с деревом.

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У нас не сложилось. Она хотела, чтобы я укоренился.

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И никто не освистает это?

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За тобой не следили?

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А за тобой?

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Секс как обычно фантастический, Дафни.

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Я тоже не жалуюсь.

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У нас идеальные отношения.

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Чисто физические, взаимовыгодные.

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Можно не бояться, что у нас завяжутся узы.

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Гениально. Но кстати говоря.

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Мой брат уже на пределе с этими дурацкими стычками человека и природы.

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- Гиппо.

- Что?

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Мы договаривались.

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Мы не будем об этом говорить, если хотим и дальше заниматься этим.

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Но, но в том-то и дело.

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Если мы ничего не придумаем, то мы и не сможем, потому что будем воевать.

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Верно. Мои сёстры тоже в бешенстве.

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Почему наши семьи такие эмоциональные и глупые?

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Что самое безумное, если дойдёт до войны, мама устроит божественное возмездие лесу.

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А затем Пан устроит божественное возмездие городу.

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Именно. С богом на каждой стороне любой конфликт приводит к уничтожению обеих сторон.

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Как бы нам заставить наши семьи это понять?

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Ну, меня слушает моя царица.

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Тебя слушает твой царь.

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Найдём способ привести их на переговоры. Так, чтобы они не узнали, что мы это делаем.

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И сможем продолжить наше страстное ничего не значащее что бы это ни было, не усложняя всё войной.

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Наш речной секс. Назовём это речным сексом.

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И они хотят обсудить мир, правда?

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Откуда ты знаешь?

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Мне птичка напела.

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Буквально птичка.

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Он назвался Марком.

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Но мне не кажется разумным встречаться с врагом.

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Формально они пока не враги.

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А еще не называй их так в лицо.

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Опять защищаешь природу.

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Я не за природу, я против войны.

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Ты хочешь, чтобы я тебя ненавидела?

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Ты на верном пути.

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Покончим с этим, пока всё не вышло из под контроля.

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А это как называется? Мы расчищали землю для новой беличьей жаровни - и бам!

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Миллионы скорпионов убили моих лучших ребят.

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Беличья жаровня?

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Они ядовитые?

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Они надоедливые, вот какие они.

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Если понадоблюсь, я со своей армией, иду воевать с природой.

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Сперва переговоры.

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Ты в порядке?

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Об этом пусть беспокоится моя кровь.

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Не будем исключать войну.

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Воюющие цари популярны.

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Но и у мира есть свои преимущества.

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Дафни присоединится переговорам?

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Не знаю, а что?

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Мир может привести ко второму поцелую.

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Я говорил, что мы с Дафни целовались?

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- Да.

- Да.

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Да.

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Знаю, вы пытаетесь меня пристыдить. Но я рад, что все помнят.

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Когда она придёт, поклонись и скажи: "Добро пожаловать, ваше величество".

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Это срезанные цветы на столе?

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Это такой красивый жест для нее.

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Жест, показывающий, что ты бездумно убил природу, чтобы украсить свой дом.

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- Избавься от них.

- По твоей аналогии, это как убить, а затем прятать тело.

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Не будет ли лучше показать тело в знак уважения?

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Враг у ворот!

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Царь Тиран.

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Царица ирИда, приветствую.

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Мы подметём позже.

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Типичный человек. Отметают природу в сторону, когда им захочется.

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Типичное природное поведение. Гадить на наш каменный пол.

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Колосса, ты бы шла тренировать армию.

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Да, мы сегодня учимся убивать птиц.

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У меня есть аист с мечом по твою душу.

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Мы пришли на переговоры, помнишь?

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Говорить будем с выжившими.

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Выживших не будет, когда вмешаются боги.

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Делирия!

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- Пан!

- Сколько мы не виделись?

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С войны, в которой погибли все фелициАне.

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Никогда о них не слышал.

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Именно. Тогда победила природа.

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Пока, фелициане.

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Хорошая новость. Этот парень любит пиво.

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Если будем нужны, не ищите нас.

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Идём, БАртлби.

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Так как мы можем помирить наши народы?

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Люди должны прекратить экспансию в лес.

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Моя царица хотела сказать...

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Я управляю цивилизацией.

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Экспансия - ее часть.

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Расширяйтесь в сторону гор.

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Горным троллям это понравится.

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Значит, горные тролли тебя волнуют больше, чем нимфы?

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Меня никто из вас не волнует. Я хочу, чтобы вы умерли!

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Так же начиналось с фелицианами.

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Их город в виде огромной горящей воронки мне нравится даже больше.

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Слушайте, давайте все успокоимся.

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У природы есть хорошие аргументы. Но и плохие тоже есть.

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Плохие, но понятно, из чего они исходят.

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Дафни хотела что-то сказать.

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Тебе не всё равно? Между вами что-то есть?

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Нет, мне всё равно, что эта древесная дура скажет.

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Вот кто мы для тебя?

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Древесные дуры?

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Думаю, Гиппо подразумевал...

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Гиппо? С каких пор ты зовёшь по имени рыбного урода?

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Этот урод мой брат!

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Да, только мы зовём его уродом.

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И ты думаешь, "камп" это фамилия?

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Короче, факт том, что мы можем ненавидеть друг друга сколько влезет.

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Но если начнём войну, вмешаются боги, и мы все умрём.

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Так что найдём способ сосуществовать.

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Зачем нам вмешиваться?

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Потому что ты защитница города. Потому что любое нападение на город это нападение на тебя.

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Я понимаю логику твоих слов, но мне так не кажется.

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Пан, защитник природы. На любое посягательство на природу ты наверняка ответишь быстрым и полным уничтожением.

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Быстрым и полным? Я, бывает, балуюсь войной, но наблюдать намного веселее.

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Даже если лет будет уничтожен?

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Я создам новый. Что такое тысяча лет?

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Это почти на тысячу лет дольше, чем они строили этот город.

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Постойте. Так мы не уничтожали природу, только чтобы этот бог не раздавил нас.

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Но он говорит, что ему плевать?

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Нет, он этого не говорил.

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По сути сказал.

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Смотрите, их богиня ничего не сделала.

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Но собирается.

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Не собирается.

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Что ж, эта встреча дала нам много пищи для размышлений. Спасибо, мы...

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Джейкоб? Кёртис? Энтони?

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Время переговоров кончилось!

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Вот почему я сказала "враги у ворот".

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Нет, стойте!

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Ничего. Всё еще исправимо.

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Это война!

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Или нет.

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Нет, пожалуйста, нет!

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Так прошла вторая война человека против природы.

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Было много битв.

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Человек против нимф.

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Человек против медведей.

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Мальчик против дерева.

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Человек против лошади, за которыми наблюдали собаки и кролик.

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Колосса повела армию людей и встретила равного противника, ТЕю.

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Царь Тиран примерил на себя новый образ. На вазах его называли царём войны.

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Его одобрение выросло до девяноста процентов. Он также отрастил бороду, собравшую пять процентов.

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А Гиппо служил стратегом. Придумывал оружие и тактику, чтобы с жестокой эффективностью побеждать природу.

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Ой, извини.

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У меня есть оружие против твоего грязевого чудовища.

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Я назвал его банкой.

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Просто зачерпни ее и закрой крышку.

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Проблема решена.

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- Круто.

- Ничего из этого не круто. Кроме моей бороды. Она крута.

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Сокол!

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Это всего лишь я, беру перекусить.

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Мама, ты можешь не залетать в замок в виде чего-то природного, когда нас убивает природа?

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Но всё летающее из природы.

00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,620

Это огромное преимущество.

00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,040

Воевать было ужасной идеей.

00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,000

А отличной идеей было бы помочь нам.

00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:28,550

Если бы я буду вмешиваться в каждую войну, ты ничему не научишься, а у меня не будет свободного времени.

00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:34,180

Мы можем погибнуть в этой войне. И тебе будет очень, очень грустно.

00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:35,430

Ой, не драматизируй.

00:10:35,470 --> 00:10:37,760

Человек с крыльями.

00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:40,180

Видишь, как глупо это выглядит?

00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:42,640

Орёл.

00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:45,070

Я рад, что хоть кому-то весело.

00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,780

Ты же популярен как никогда.

00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:52,160

Да, но в основном потому что те, кто меня ненавидел, были в армии и уже почти все умерли.

00:10:52,210 --> 00:10:54,710

Мне пришлось завербовать много детей.

00:10:54,790 --> 00:10:56,120

Так не может продолжаться.

00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:59,290

Надо сделать что-то смелое, решительное, безрассудное и непоправимое.

00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:05,800

Что? Например, отравить устье реки, питающей лес, убив все деревья, растения и животных, которые едят деревья и растения?

00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,050

А ты можешь?

00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,760

Я всё могу. Тут вопрос скорее следует ли.

00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:12,810

- Сделай это!

- Да, пожалуйста.

00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:15,060

Обязательно заходить так глубоко?

00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:21,150

Это смотря хочешь ли ты отравить устье реки или середину реки, что не будет иметь значения.

00:11:21,190 --> 00:11:25,440

Тебе обязательно отвечать на нормальные вопросы так оскорбительно?

00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:27,860

Стой! Не наступи туда.

00:11:27,950 --> 00:11:29,990

Гладкие камни - это ловушки.

00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,120

Откуда ты знаешь?

00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,330

Просто знаю.

00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:42,880

Воробьи.

00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:43,750

Бежим!

00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,150

Гиппо, давно не виделись.

00:11:59,190 --> 00:12:01,310

Что ты здесь делаешь, Дафни?

00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,940

Мы обещали забыть то, что узнали, пока были вместе.

00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:07,570

Например, расположение наших ловушек?

00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:09,160

Ну да, я знаю о ловушках.

00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:13,740

Я что, серьёзно должен был угодить в одну из них из уважения к нашим отношениям?

00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:16,250

Это нарушение доверия.

00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:18,080

Мой тайный бункер?

00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,960

Ой, умоляю. Я умею вести себя по-взрослому.

00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,340

Я пришла сюда, потому что ты затаил обиду и играешь грязно. Потому что ты эмоциональный.

00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:27,660

Что ты делал в глубине леса, Гиппо?

00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,630

Ничего, я...

00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,680

Осторожнее.

00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,390

Это яд для растений.

00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:36,680

Что? Что ты хотел сделать?

00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:39,480

Ладно, ладно, я знаю, как это выглядит, но...

00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,370

Не вижу отравления.

00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:46,660

Воробьи устроили нам засаду.

00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:49,290

Не волнуйся, я поквиталась с ними.

00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:51,080

Вам помешали? Где Гиппо?

00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:54,630

Не знаю. Наверно, в одном из своих тоннелей, о которых мы не должны знать.

00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,090

Эта война никогда не закончится.

00:12:56,130 --> 00:13:00,210

Не без божьего вмешательства. Но богам, похоже, всё равно.

00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:02,840

Я и забыл, что в лесу были слоны.

00:13:10,430 --> 00:13:16,560

Мама, ты серьёзно так и будешь сидеть там, пока война с природой сравнивает с землёй город и мое одобрение?

00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:18,610

Не знала, что тебя это волнует.

00:13:18,690 --> 00:13:22,190

- Да, так и буду.

- Если не закончится молоко с мёдом.

00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,070

Кое-кто из нас сластёна.

00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,120

Ты выпил ничуть не меньше молока с мёдом.

00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,870

Ты не слышала о божьем вмешательстве?

00:13:28,990 --> 00:13:32,000

Зачем вообще нужен этот термин, если боги не вмешиваются?

00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,790

Мы вмешиваемся, когда надо.

00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,250

- И когда это?

- Когда оскорбляют лично нас.

00:13:36,290 --> 00:13:37,130

Или на спор.

00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:38,500

С уважаемым богом.

00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,630

Да, на спор с уважемым богом.

00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:44,970

И даже тогда есть риск разозлить Зевса. И никто этого не хочет.

00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:46,550

Безопаснее просто не лезть.

00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,430

Спорим, ты не расскажешь ему Зевсе?

00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,850

Мы сказали "спор с уважаемым богом".

00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:53,520

Но что там про Зевса?

00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:57,020

Пойдём посмотрим, что происходит по другую сторону войны.

00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:59,150

Ты пытаешься сменить тему?

00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:02,780

Что ты от меня скрываешь о Зевсе?

00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:03,820

Скажи ему, мам.

00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,030

Да, скажи ему, мам.

00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:10,410

Как ты смеешь опошлять материнство?

00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,700

Вот как это делается.

00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:19,210

А что ты сделал? Привёл маму в неистовство?

00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:25,720

Это за оленей, и пеликанов, и кусты ежевики.

00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,720

Я не трогал кусты ежевики.

00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,180

Я люблю ежевику.

00:14:31,890 --> 00:14:33,560

Радуйся, что я не убила тебя.

00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:34,480

Вперёд, убей.

00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,930

Боже, не будь таким ребёнком.

00:14:35,980 --> 00:14:37,390

Я принесу запасной шлем.

00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,310

Этот запасной.

00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,650

Мне стоило бы просто оставить тебя здесь.

00:14:41,690 --> 00:14:43,820

Ну и оставь. Мне никто не нужен.

00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,360

Поэтому я и создал это место.

00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:47,700

Отлично, пока.

00:14:53,790 --> 00:14:55,400

Просто скажи, как тебе помочь.

00:14:55,460 --> 00:15:00,290

Есть экстренная запаска в моем экстренном запасном бункере.

00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:03,090

У тебя есть бункер внутри бункера?

00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:08,180

Тебе это кажется перебором, госпожа "прихожу, когда захочу"?

00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,850

Спасибо. Запаска возле дерева. А потом можешь идти.

00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:16,640

Зачем оно здесь?

00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:18,520

Для эстетики?

00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,770

Именно тот вид дерева, что нужен мне для выживания?

00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:24,570

Чёрт, ты мне нравишься.

00:15:24,650 --> 00:15:26,280

Ну, ты мне тоже.

00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,990

Ну и ну.

00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:38,540

Вот чёрт.

00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:40,040

- Да.

- Как это случилось?

00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,380

Мы же были умными!

00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:42,750

Секс ничего не значил.

00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,170

В какой-то момент всё изменилось.

00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:47,130

Наверно когда мы начали смотреть в глаза.

00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:49,010

Это был прекрасный день.

00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:50,630

Чёрт, да, именно тогда.

00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,010

- Что нам делать?

- Не знаю. Но я не хочу останавливаться.

00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,970

Постой. Мы с тобой практичные.

00:15:56,020 --> 00:16:01,060

Что нам так сильно не нравится в эмоциональной привязанности?

00:16:01,150 --> 00:16:02,190

Она нам неподвластна.

00:16:02,270 --> 00:16:06,530

Именно. Если мы умные, то смиримся с этим. Ведь разве у нас есть выбор?

00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:08,570

Ты права. Это по-научному.

00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:11,490

Мы говорим "вот, что мы знаем" и идём дальше.

00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,910

Это и по-природному тоже.

00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:15,580

Мы не сидим и не ноем из-за содержания почвы нашего биома.

00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:18,080

Мы растём с учётом полученной информации.

00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,710

Мне сразу полегчало.

00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:23,295

Мы тратили много энергии на то, чтобы этого избежать.

00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:26,666

Теперь ее можно пустить на что-то другое.

00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:31,010

У нас определённо хватает других поводов для беспокойства. Та же война.

00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,680

Я не хочу туда возвращаться.

00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,266

И я не хочу, чтобы ты возвращался. Разве что...

00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:41,640

Вернёмся вместе и остановим войну, потому что ты моя девушка.

00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:48,150

О боже!

00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:49,570

Я всегда думала, а есть ли у богов...

00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:51,900

Есть. Всё-таки есть.

00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:53,280

Так что ты говорил?

00:16:53,370 --> 00:16:55,200

Это слишком.

00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,030

Я люблю тебя.

00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,870

Остановим войну.

00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:00,870

Делирия, что ты делаешь?

00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,790

Это моя флора и моя фауна!

00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,046

Меня оскорбили.

00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:11,333

И это перевешивает всё остальное. Включая то, о чём мы говорили, когда я была оскорблена.

00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,430

Хотя бы топчи другую часть леса.

00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:15,760

В этой роще живут последние додо.

00:17:15,850 --> 00:17:18,010

Как ты смеешь мне указывать?

00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:20,520

Возможно, втягивать маму было ошибкой.

00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,890

Ты шутишь? Мы наконец обратили их в бегство.

00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:24,600

Топчите птиц!

00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:25,850

Давай, жена!

00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,190

Ты позволишь ей довести драгоценных птиц до вымирания?

00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,820

Никто не хочет жить в мире без додо.

00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:36,160

Сделай что-нибудь.

00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,120

Всё, хватит быть добрым богом.

00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,580

Вот чем ты известен?

00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:44,250

А я думала, грызунами и ленивой импровизированной музыкой.

00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,790

Ленивой?

00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:51,050

Мама, вырасти выше его и бей в ответ!

00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,550

А это отличная идея.

00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:59,350

Убивайте всё с перьями и мехом!

00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:27,010

Нам нужен стол для переговоров побольше.

00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:28,880

Мама, стой!

00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:30,930

Решим это мирным путём!

00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:35,020

Тебе понравилось бы, оскорби я твои рога?

00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:39,060

Сама мысль, что в них есть что оскорблять, невероятно оскорбительна.

00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:40,690

И хорошо.

00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:41,730

Она не слышит.

00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:44,190

Они не услышат голос разума.

00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,440

Может быть, шок привлечёт их внимание.

00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:48,400

- Что ты задумал?

- Поцелуй меня.

00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:49,860

Но тебе нельзя снимать шлем.

00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,240

Целуй сквозь стекло.

00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,660

Серьёзно? Это будет странно.

00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:55,290

Вот именно. Думай о речном сексе.

00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:01,120

Это работает. Продолжай.

00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:03,920

С удовольствием для тебя и меня.

00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,000

Дафни?

00:19:06,090 --> 00:19:07,590

Гиппо?

00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:08,630

Погоди.

00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,130

Они там внизу не дерутся.

00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:13,090

Работайте, или я наступлю на всех вас.

00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:16,930

Это твой сын и моя лесная дочь?

00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:19,430

Гиппо? Надеюсь, ты делаешь ей больно.

00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,310

Нет. Вроде бы.

00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,020

- Ведь нет?

- Неа.

00:19:24,610 --> 00:19:26,650

Гиппо, почему ты целуешь Дафни сквозь стекло?

00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:28,610

Мы доказываем, что жизнь сложна.

00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:32,240

Вы выбрали войну, потому что она безопаснее сосуществования.

00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,860

Но смотрите, к чему это ведёт.

00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:36,450

Но почему ты целуешь ее сквозь стекло?

00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:41,660

Настоящая храбрость - это делать что-то несовершенное и исправлять на ходу, потому что оно того стоит.

00:19:41,790 --> 00:19:44,538

И именно это люди с природой должны сделать.

00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:48,933

Жить вместе в мире со всеми его сложностями. Потому что мы нужны друг другу.

00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:53,510

Это мерзко, но вдохновляюще.

00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,180

Дафни, значит, ты не хочешь пойти со мной на свидание позже?

00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:58,640

Нет, не хочу.

00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,270

Ладно. Я просто рад получить ответ.

00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,100

Забирай свою сестру.

00:20:03,150 --> 00:20:05,440

Вроде рот в банке с красной крышкой.

00:20:05,666 --> 00:20:09,390

Война окончена. С этого дня природа и человек сосуществуют

00:20:09,396 --> 00:20:14,570

в поисках идеального союза, которого мы достигнет через десять-двадцать лет.

00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,450

Ты знаешь, по сути мы ничего не решили.

00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:20,870

Мы решили про нас. А с остальным разберёмся.

00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,954

А пока пусть людям можно будет разбивать лагеря в лесу, чтобы природа не переступала черту.

00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:28,933

А собаки пусть живут с людьми и шпионят.

00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,840

- Они уже это делают.

- Хорошо.

00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,800

- Кошки?

- Идёт.

00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:42,600

Вы подавлены? Попытки прокладывать себе дорогу в этом мире отнимают у вас все силы?

00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:45,940

Тогда вам нужно заглянуть в Лачугу яка.

00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:52,856

Да-да, в новейший бар Крапополиса, принадлежащий человеку и природе.

00:20:52,850 --> 00:21:01,466

Это идеальное место, чтобы забыть о печалях и о радостях, будь вы человеческим человеком или медвежьим медведем.

00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:03,620

Всё верно, Бартлби.

00:21:03,710 --> 00:21:07,960

И не забывайте: здесь, в Лачуге яка, первое и десятое пиво бесплатное.

00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,380

Мне ли не знать. Я не только владелец, но и клиент.

00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,940

Что это было? И почему мы должны стоять и слушать?

00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,440

Какая разница? Десятое пиво бесплатно!

00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:06,814

A king's speech should be

the highlight of their week.

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Still mad they booed ya?

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I invented the boo.

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Before me, everyone

wiggled their butts

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to express disapproval.

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Honestly, I prefer it.

00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:17,769

Mm, yes that's how

you disapprove of something.

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No, the boo is better,

00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:21,309

but you can't use it

against the inventor.

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Ooh, there should be

a super boo

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to use against people

who are booing incorrectly.

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Stupid nature attacked

the city again.

00:00:28,525 --> 00:00:30,027

That's the fifth attack

this month.

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What was it this time?

- The dam.

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Some trees grew roots

under the river

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and ripped the whole thing out.

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Damn it--pun not intended.

That dam was going to power

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wheat grinders

for the whole city.

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Man versus nature,

a classic struggle.

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And I should know.

My man bits are constantly

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rejecting my nature bits.

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Horrible rashes.

00:00:46,594 --> 00:00:48,330

It's those stupid

wood nymphs.

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They're behind all of this.

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Come on.

W-we don't know that.

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So you think

the trees tore down

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all our windmills on their own,

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and wolves stole

all our hammers for fun,

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and tiny bugs fly

into our mouths

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all the time now

as a coincidence?

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[choking]

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Just swallow it!

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[coughs]

And let the fly win?

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Never!

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I don't understand.

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We've had a truce for so long.

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Humans stay in the city,

nature stays in the forest.

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Humans who go in the forest

die horribly.

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Plants brought inside

die from neglect.

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Why would nature disturb

that balance?

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Maybe because we keep

expanding the city

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into the forest,

then use the trees we cut down

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to build new houses where

we cook all the forest animals

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and eat them

with the forest plants.

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We're basically

a nature death machine.

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Listen to Mr. Nature Lover.

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What, are you married

to a tree?

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I just see nature's

side of things.

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Well, it's beginning

to affect my numbers.

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I'm down to 30%.

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I believe that's three.

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Doesn't each little person

here represent

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10% of the population?

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No, each little person

represents a person.

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Your approval rating is three.

00:01:49,452 --> 00:01:50,387

What?

00:01:50,387 --> 00:01:52,358

Well, they should mean 5%,

at least.

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Somebody make sure

that gets changed.

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I say we go to war with the

forest and wipe them all out.

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I already had to chop down

the trees around the palace

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'cause they were

releasing spores

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to turn our servants

into zombie spies.

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Good thing

we caught them all.

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What?

- [grunts]

00:02:07,789 --> 00:02:09,191

Come here!

00:02:09,191 --> 00:02:11,295

You know,

I dated a tree once.

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It didn't work out.

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She wanted me

to put down roots.

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[laughs]

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And no one's going

to boo that?

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[dramatic lyre music]

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♪ ♪

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[tense music]

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♪ ♪

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[leaves rustling]

- [grunts]

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Were you followed?

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Were you?

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Fantastic sex,

as usual, Daphne.

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No complaints here either.

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It's the perfect

arrangement--

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purely physical,

mutually beneficial.

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No danger of any

messy bonds forming.

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It's genius.

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But that reminds me.

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My brother's

at his breaking point

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with these stupid

man-versus-nature skirmishes.

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- Hippo.

- What?

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We agreed.

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That's the one thing

we wouldn't talk about,

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at least if we want

to keep doing this.

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Yeah, but that's just it.

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If we don't figure

something out,

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we're not gonna be able

to do this anyway

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because we'll be at war.

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That's true. My sisters

are all pissed off too.

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Why are our families

so emotional and dumb?

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What's extra crazy is,

if it ever did erupt into war,

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my mom would go

all vengeful god on the forest.

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And then Pan would go

all vengeful god on the city.

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Exactly.

With a god on each side,

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any conflict would end in total

destruction on both sides.

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If only we could make

our families realize that.

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Well, I have the ear

of my queen.

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You have the ear of your king.

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If we could figure out a way

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to bring 'em together

for negotiations

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without them knowing that's

what we're doing, of course...

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We could continue

this passionate, meaningless

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whatever you want to call it

00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,284

without a war

complicating things.

00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,121

You had me at river sex.

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I want to call it river sex.

00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:09,098

And they want

to negotiate peace, really?

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How did you hear about this?

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A little bird told me--

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literally, a little bird.

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He said his name was Marcus.

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Well, still not sure

it's wise

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for me to meet with the enemy.

00:04:17,615 --> 00:04:19,017

They're not technically

the enemy yet.

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Also, I wouldn't call them that

when they get here.

00:04:21,455 --> 00:04:23,561

Again with

the pro-nature talk.

00:04:23,561 --> 00:04:25,097

It's anti-war talk.

00:04:25,097 --> 00:04:27,334

Are you trying

to get me to hate you?

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Because you're on

the right track.

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We can end this

before it gets out of hand.

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What do you call this?

We were clearing land

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for a new squirrel grill,

and, wham!

00:04:35,785 --> 00:04:38,758

A million scorpions took out

all my best guys.

00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:39,793

Squirrel grill?

00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:40,828

Are those poisonous?

00:04:40,828 --> 00:04:42,598

They're a pain in the ass

is what they are.

00:04:42,598 --> 00:04:44,368

If anyone needs me,

I'll be with my army,

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going to war with nature.

00:04:45,838 --> 00:04:47,976

Not until we negotiate.

00:04:47,976 --> 00:04:48,945

Are you okay?

00:04:49,078 --> 00:04:52,151

Why don't you let

my blood worry about that?

00:04:52,151 --> 00:04:53,621

We should leave war

on the table.

00:04:53,621 --> 00:04:55,490

Wartime kings are very popular.

00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:57,696

But peace has

its advantages as well.

00:04:57,696 --> 00:04:59,833

Will Daphne be joining

the negotiation?

00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,368

I don't know. Why?

00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,006

Peace might lead

to another kiss.

00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:05,811

Did I mention that

Daphne and I kissed once?

00:05:05,811 --> 00:05:07,148

- Yes.

- Yes.

00:05:07,148 --> 00:05:09,318

Yes.

00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,521

I know you're trying

to shame me,

00:05:10,521 --> 00:05:12,758

but I'm just happy

everyone remembers.

00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:16,767

So when she gets here,

you bow and say,

00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:18,904

"Welcome, Your Majesty."

00:05:20,473 --> 00:05:23,412

Are those cut flowers

on the table?

00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,518

She's from nature.

It's a gesture.

00:05:25,518 --> 00:05:28,223

A gesture that

you senselessly murdered nature

00:05:28,223 --> 00:05:29,491

to decorate your house.

00:05:29,491 --> 00:05:31,530

Get rid of them.

- By your analogy,

00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,667

that's murdering someone

and then hiding the body.

00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,105

Wouldn't it be better

to display the body

00:05:36,105 --> 00:05:37,307

out of respect?

00:05:37,307 --> 00:05:39,211

Enemy at the gate!

00:05:39,211 --> 00:05:42,184

[tense music]

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♪ ♪

00:05:47,294 --> 00:05:48,397

King Tyrannis.

00:05:48,397 --> 00:05:50,400

Queen Iris, welcome.

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We'll sweep that up later.

00:05:51,637 --> 00:05:54,274

Typical human,

sweeping nature aside

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whenever you feel like it.

00:05:55,678 --> 00:05:57,380

Typical nature attitude,

00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:59,452

pooping on our nice

stone floor.

00:05:59,452 --> 00:06:01,523

Stupe, don't you have

an army to train?

00:06:01,523 --> 00:06:04,228

Yeah, we're learning

how to kill birds today.

00:06:04,228 --> 00:06:07,034

I've got a stork with a sword

with your name on it.

00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:07,969

- [growling]

- We're here

00:06:07,969 --> 00:06:09,138

to negotiate, remember?

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We'll negotiate

with the survivors.

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There won't be any survivors

once the gods get involved.

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Deliria!

00:06:16,586 --> 00:06:18,691

- Pan!

- How long has it been?

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The war that wiped out

the Felicians, I think.

00:06:20,761 --> 00:06:22,532

I never heard

of the Felicians.

00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:25,136

Exactly.

Nature won that one.

00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:26,906

Bye, Felicians.

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Good news.

This fellow enjoys beer.

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And if anyone needs us,

we'll be unreachable.

00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:34,589

Come, Bartleby.

[Bartleby lows]

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So what can we do to make

peace between our nations?

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Humans must cease

all expansion into the forest.

00:06:41,503 --> 00:06:43,607

W-wh--uh,

what my queen means is--

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I'm running a civilization.

00:06:44,842 --> 00:06:46,613

Expansion is part

of the package.

00:06:46,613 --> 00:06:48,618

So expand into the mountain.

00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:50,420

The mountain trolls

would love that.

00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:51,289

So you care about

00:06:51,289 --> 00:06:53,159

the mountain trolls more

than the nymphs?

00:06:53,159 --> 00:06:54,596

I don't care

about any of you,

00:06:54,596 --> 00:06:55,965

and I wish you were all dead!

00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:58,571

This is just how it started

with the Felicians.

00:06:58,571 --> 00:07:01,743

Honestly, I prefer their city

as a giant flaming sinkhole.

00:07:01,743 --> 00:07:03,681

Look, let's all calm down.

00:07:03,681 --> 00:07:05,250

Nature has some good points...

00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,958

- [growls]

- But is also very bad.

00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:12,565

Uh, bad where you see

where they're coming from.

00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,301

I think Daphne had

something to say.

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Why do you care?

00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,472

Is something going on

between you two?

00:07:16,472 --> 00:07:17,876

No. I don't care

00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:20,213

what the stupid tree girl

has to say.

00:07:20,213 --> 00:07:21,950

So that's

how you think of us?

00:07:21,950 --> 00:07:23,520

Stupid tree girls?

00:07:23,621 --> 00:07:25,658

I think Hippo was

trying to say--

00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:26,927

Hippo?

Since when are you

00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:29,331

on a first-name basis

with the fish freak?

00:07:29,331 --> 00:07:30,968

That freak is my brother!

00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:32,739

Yeah, only we can

call him freak.

00:07:32,739 --> 00:07:34,910

And do you think

"Campus" is a surname?

00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,780

Look, the fact is,

we can hate each other

00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:38,784

all we want,

but if we go to war,

00:07:38,784 --> 00:07:42,490

the gods will get involved,

and we'll all die.

00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:44,796

So we need to find a way

to coexist.

00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:46,099

Why would we get involved?

00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,738

Because you're the god

protector of the city,

00:07:48,738 --> 00:07:51,777

because any attack on the city

is an attack on you.

00:07:51,877 --> 00:07:53,412

I get the logic

of what you're saying,

00:07:53,412 --> 00:07:54,616

but I don't feel it.

00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:56,853

Pan, protector of nature,

00:07:56,853 --> 00:07:59,291

surely any attack on nature

would be met by you

00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:01,195

with swift

and total annihilation.

00:08:01,195 --> 00:08:03,934

Swift and total?

I mean, I'll dabble in war,

00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:05,838

but it's so much more fun

to watch.

00:08:05,838 --> 00:08:07,407

Even if the forest

is destroyed?

00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:08,578

I'll build a new forest.

00:08:08,578 --> 00:08:09,746

What's a thousand years?

00:08:09,746 --> 00:08:11,015

About a thousand years longer

00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:12,852

than it took them

to build this city.

00:08:12,852 --> 00:08:14,856

Hang on.

So the only reason we weren't

00:08:14,856 --> 00:08:17,729

destroying nature is because

that god would crush us.

00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:19,665

But now he's saying

he doesn't care?

00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,435

No, that's not

what he's saying.

00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,072

It's the gist.

00:08:23,072 --> 00:08:24,576

- [grunts]

- [groans]

00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:27,281

Look, their god

didn't do anything.

00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:28,551

But she's about to.

00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,788

She certainly is not.

00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:33,259

Well, this meeting gave us

all a lot to think about.

00:08:33,259 --> 00:08:34,461

Thank you for your time.

We'll just--

00:08:34,461 --> 00:08:36,767

Jacob? Curtis? Anthony?

00:08:36,867 --> 00:08:39,706

The time for negotiation

is over!

00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:42,277

This is why I said

"enemies at the gate."

00:08:42,277 --> 00:08:44,315

No, wait!

00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,118

Whoa!

- [yells]

00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:48,624

This is fine.

We can still save this.

00:08:48,624 --> 00:08:49,992

[grunts]

00:08:50,961 --> 00:08:53,333

[growling]

00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,169

To war!

00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:57,875

Or not.

00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:01,783

[screams]

00:09:01,783 --> 00:09:04,121

No, please don't.

Please--aah!

00:09:06,191 --> 00:09:10,735

And so passed the second war

of man versus nature.

00:09:10,735 --> 00:09:12,471

There were many battles.

00:09:12,471 --> 00:09:13,774

Man versus nymphs.

00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:15,744

Man versus bears.

00:09:15,744 --> 00:09:17,381

Boy versus tree.

00:09:17,381 --> 00:09:21,823

Man versus horse while

three dogs and a rabbit watch.

00:09:21,823 --> 00:09:24,562

Stupendous led the army of man

00:09:24,562 --> 00:09:27,836

and found an equal

in her rival, Thea.

00:09:27,836 --> 00:09:29,939

[groans and grunts]

00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,745

King Tyrannis adopted

a new persona

00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:35,083

the local vases called

War King,

00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,688

enjoying 90% approval

from the people.

00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:40,761

He also grew a beard,

which got 5% approval.

00:09:40,761 --> 00:09:42,965

And Hippo served

as a strategist,

00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:45,069

devising weapons and tactics

00:09:45,069 --> 00:09:47,642

to defeat nature

with brutal efficiency.

00:09:47,642 --> 00:09:49,144

[all gasp]

00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:53,720

Ooh, sorry.

00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,526

I've got a weapon to take care

of your mud monster rival.

00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:58,096

I call it a jar.

00:09:58,096 --> 00:10:01,068

Just scoop her into this

and close the lid.

00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,304

Problem solved.

00:10:02,304 --> 00:10:04,141

- Cool.

- None of this is cool,

00:10:04,141 --> 00:10:06,245

aside from my beard,

which is very cool.

00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:07,448

Falcon!

00:10:07,448 --> 00:10:09,986

Don't mind me,

just grabbing some snacks.

00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:12,057

Mother, can you not fly

into the castle

00:10:12,057 --> 00:10:15,030

as something from nature while

we're being killed by nature?

00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:17,568

But everything that flies

is from nature.

00:10:17,568 --> 00:10:18,971

It's a huge advantage.

00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:20,407

It was a terrible idea

to fight them.

00:10:20,407 --> 00:10:23,379

And it would be a great idea

for you to help us.

00:10:23,379 --> 00:10:26,051

If I intervened every time

there was a war in the city,

00:10:26,151 --> 00:10:28,890

you'd never learn anything

and I'd never get any me time.

00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,962

You realize we could die

in this war,

00:10:30,962 --> 00:10:34,603

and you would feel

so, so, so sad.

00:10:34,603 --> 00:10:35,804

Oh, don't be so dramatic.

00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:38,142

Human with wings.

00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:40,581

You see?

You see how stupid this looks?

00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:43,053

Eagle.

00:10:43,053 --> 00:10:45,190

I'm glad someone is having

a good time.

00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:47,896

Aren't you, like,

more popular than ever?

00:10:47,896 --> 00:10:49,532

Yes, but it's mostly

because all the people

00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:52,270

who hated me were in the army,

and they're mostly dead now.

00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,842

I've had to recruit

a lot of children.

00:10:54,842 --> 00:10:56,245

My point is,

we can't go on like this.

00:10:56,245 --> 00:10:58,483

We need to do something

bold, decisive,

00:10:58,483 --> 00:10:59,418

recklessly permanent.

00:10:59,519 --> 00:11:01,756

What, like poison

the mouth of the river

00:11:01,756 --> 00:11:03,961

that feeds the forest, killing

all the trees and plants

00:11:03,961 --> 00:11:05,898

and the wildlife that eats

the trees and plants?

00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,201

Can you do that?

00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:08,904

I can do anything.

00:11:08,904 --> 00:11:10,875

The question of whether

I should is more of a--

00:11:10,875 --> 00:11:12,912

- Do it!

- Yes, do it, please.

00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:15,416

Do we really have to go

this deep into the forest?

00:11:15,416 --> 00:11:16,351

That depends.

00:11:16,485 --> 00:11:18,288

Do you want to poison

the mouth of the river

00:11:18,288 --> 00:11:21,262

or some middle point in the

river that doesn't matter?

00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:23,667

Do you have to answer

an honest question

00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,604

in such an insulting way?

00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:28,009

Wait!

Don't step there.

00:11:28,009 --> 00:11:30,146

The smooth stones are traps.

00:11:31,883 --> 00:11:33,286

How did you know that?

00:11:33,286 --> 00:11:35,490

I just know things.

00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:37,427

[groans]

00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:39,832

[eerie music]

00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,770

[birds chirping]

00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:43,038

Sparrows.

00:11:43,038 --> 00:11:43,907

Run!

00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:47,548

[people screaming]

00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:50,654

[panting]

00:11:50,654 --> 00:11:52,090

[yells]

00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:55,296

[panting]

00:11:58,035 --> 00:11:59,305

Hippo, it's been a while.

00:11:59,305 --> 00:12:01,475

What are you doing

down here, Daphne?

00:12:01,475 --> 00:12:03,680

We said things we learned

while we were together

00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,116

were off limits.

00:12:05,116 --> 00:12:07,655

Mm, like the location

of our traps?

00:12:07,655 --> 00:12:09,357

So I know about the traps.

00:12:09,357 --> 00:12:11,896

You seriously expect me

to walk straight into one

00:12:11,896 --> 00:12:13,934

out of respect

for our relationship?

00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,439

This is a violation.

00:12:16,439 --> 00:12:18,242

My secret bunker?

00:12:18,242 --> 00:12:19,311

[scoffs] Oh, please.

00:12:19,311 --> 00:12:21,148

I know how to be an adult.

00:12:21,148 --> 00:12:23,452

I came here because you're

clearly holding grudges

00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,524

and playing dirty because

you're an emotional person.

00:12:25,524 --> 00:12:27,829

What were you doing

this deep in the woods, Hippo?

00:12:27,829 --> 00:12:28,831

Nothing.

I--

00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,835

[grunts]

00:12:30,835 --> 00:12:32,905

Careful with that.

00:12:32,905 --> 00:12:34,609

It's plant poison.

00:12:34,609 --> 00:12:35,678

It's what?

00:12:35,678 --> 00:12:36,713

What were you gonna do?

00:12:36,813 --> 00:12:39,719

Okay, okay, I know it looks

potentially bad, but--

00:12:39,719 --> 00:12:41,055

[both grunting]

00:12:41,055 --> 00:12:42,023

[yells]

00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:44,261

Not seeing

a lot of poisoning.

00:12:44,261 --> 00:12:46,599

[swords clashing]

- We got ambushed by sparrows.

00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,037

- Aah!

- Don't worry, I got even.

00:12:49,037 --> 00:12:51,008

The mission failed?

Where's Hippo?

00:12:51,008 --> 00:12:53,112

Not sure.

Probably in one of his tunnels

00:12:53,112 --> 00:12:54,549

we're not supposed

to know about.

00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:56,018

This war is never

going to end.

00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:57,387

Not without an act of god

00:12:57,387 --> 00:13:00,126

that the gods don't seem

to care about doing.

00:13:00,126 --> 00:13:01,763

[both laughing]

- I forgot we had elephants

00:13:01,763 --> 00:13:02,799

in this forest.

00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:04,367

[elephants trumpeting]

00:13:05,838 --> 00:13:07,842

[grunts]

00:13:07,842 --> 00:13:10,313

[elephant trumpets]

00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:12,719

Mother, are you really

just going to sit there

00:13:12,719 --> 00:13:15,023

while a war with nature

ravages our city

00:13:15,023 --> 00:13:16,526

and my approval ratings?

00:13:16,526 --> 00:13:18,597

I hadn't realized you cared.

00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:20,734

Yes, I am.

- Unless she has to go

00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:22,170

and get more milk and honey.

00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:24,040

Someone here has a sweet tooth.

00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,046

You had just as much

milk and honey as I did.

00:13:27,046 --> 00:13:28,817

Haven't you heard

of divine intervention?

00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:30,186

Why would that even be a term

00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:31,957

if the divine

don't ever intervene?

00:13:31,957 --> 00:13:33,694

We intervene when it matters.

00:13:33,794 --> 00:13:34,495

And when is that?

00:13:34,662 --> 00:13:36,231

When something

personally offends us.

00:13:36,231 --> 00:13:37,100

Or on a dare--

00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,469

From a god we respect.

00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,607

Right, a respected god dare.

00:13:40,607 --> 00:13:43,681

Even then, you run the risk

of making Zeus mad,

00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:44,949

and nobody wants that.

00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,351

It's safer just

to stay out of it.

00:13:46,351 --> 00:13:48,423

I dare you

to tell him about Zeus.

00:13:48,524 --> 00:13:51,830

We said "respected god dare."

00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,499

But what about Zeus?

00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:57,006

Why don't we see what's going

on the other side of the war?

00:13:57,006 --> 00:13:59,144

Are you trying

to change the subject?

00:13:59,144 --> 00:14:02,785

What don't you want me

to know about Zeus?

00:14:02,785 --> 00:14:03,821

Tell him, Mom.

00:14:03,821 --> 00:14:06,024

Yeah, tell him, Mom.

00:14:06,024 --> 00:14:10,400

How dare you trivialize

motherhood?

00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,705

And that's how you--

00:14:12,705 --> 00:14:15,143

[grunts]

00:14:15,143 --> 00:14:19,218

How you what?

Send Mom on a rampage?

00:14:19,218 --> 00:14:20,521

[panting]

00:14:20,521 --> 00:14:21,989

[grunts]

00:14:21,989 --> 00:14:24,461

This is for the deer

and the pelicans

00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:25,764

and the blackberry bushes.

00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:27,735

I didn't touch

the blackberry bushes.

00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,170

I love blackberries.

00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:31,843

[grunts]

[glass shatters]

00:14:31,843 --> 00:14:33,580

You're lucky

I don't kill you.

00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:34,481

Go ahead.

00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:35,951

God, don't be such a baby.

00:14:35,951 --> 00:14:37,421

I'll get your spare helmet.

00:14:37,421 --> 00:14:39,290

This is my spare.

00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,662

Well, it would serve you

right if I just left you here.

00:14:41,662 --> 00:14:42,665

I don't care.

00:14:42,665 --> 00:14:43,767

I don't need anybody.

00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:45,403

That's why this place exists.

00:14:45,403 --> 00:14:47,742

Great, bye.

00:14:47,742 --> 00:14:50,748

[dramatic music]

00:14:50,748 --> 00:14:53,753

♪ ♪

00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:55,422

[groans]

Just tell me how to help you.

00:14:55,422 --> 00:14:57,594

There's an emergency

backup spare

00:14:57,594 --> 00:15:00,332

in my emergency backup bunker.

00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,138

You have a bunker

in your bunker?

00:15:03,138 --> 00:15:05,143

Does that seem like

it was overkill,

00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:08,215

Miss Comes Over

Whenever She Wants?

00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:13,894

Thanks.

The spare is over by the tree.

00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:14,929

Then you can go.

00:15:14,929 --> 00:15:16,700

Why is this here?

00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,604

Uh, aesthetics?

00:15:18,604 --> 00:15:22,845

The exact species of tree

I need to survive?

00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:24,549

Damn it, I like you.

00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,384

Well, I like you too.

00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,089

Oh, man.

00:15:28,089 --> 00:15:29,625

[pleasant harp music]

00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:30,661

[water splashes]

00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:31,896

[both moaning]

00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:33,499

Ah! Ah!

[elephant trumpets]

00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:38,610

Well, crap.

00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,113

- Yeah.

- How did this happen?

00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,482

We were the smart ones!

00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,852

It was meaningless sex.

00:15:42,852 --> 00:15:45,056

At some point,

I guess it changed.

00:15:45,056 --> 00:15:47,227

Probably when we started

making eye contact.

00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:49,030

That was an amazing day.

00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,734

[gasps]

Crap, that was the day.

00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:52,003

What do we do?

- I don't know,

00:15:52,003 --> 00:15:54,140

but I know I don't want

to stop doing this.

00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:56,077

Well, hold on.

We're practical people.

00:15:56,077 --> 00:15:59,051

What's the thing that we really

don't like about being--

00:15:59,051 --> 00:16:01,122

ugh--emotionally entangled?

00:16:01,122 --> 00:16:02,323

We can't control it.

00:16:02,323 --> 00:16:03,726

Exactly.

So if we're smart,

00:16:03,726 --> 00:16:06,666

we accept it because

what other option do we have?

00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,737

You're right.

That's the scientific way.

00:16:08,737 --> 00:16:11,609

We say, here's what we know,

and we move forward.

00:16:11,609 --> 00:16:13,012

That's nature's way too.

00:16:13,012 --> 00:16:14,214

We don't sit around whining

00:16:14,214 --> 00:16:15,684

about soil content

of our biome.

00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:18,189

We take the information

and grow accordingly.

00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:19,825

This is kind of a relief.

00:16:19,825 --> 00:16:22,497

I mean, I guess we were just

putting a lot of energy

00:16:22,497 --> 00:16:24,869

into avoiding this,

and now we can just

00:16:24,869 --> 00:16:26,840

convert that energy

into something else.

00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,010

There's certainly plenty of

other stuff we can worry about,

00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,181

like the fact that there's

a war going on.

00:16:31,181 --> 00:16:32,852

I don't want you going

back up there.

00:16:32,852 --> 00:16:35,490

I don't want you

going back up there.

00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:38,362

Unless--

- We go back up there together

00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:41,803

and stop the war

because you're my girlfriend.

00:16:41,803 --> 00:16:43,205

[loud crashing]

[both scream]

00:16:46,879 --> 00:16:48,316

Oh, god!

00:16:48,316 --> 00:16:49,719

I always wondered

if gods had--

00:16:49,719 --> 00:16:52,090

They do, they really do.

00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,459

Anyway, you were saying--

00:16:53,459 --> 00:16:55,363

Too much.

00:16:55,363 --> 00:16:56,198

I love you.

00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:59,037

Let's stop a war.

00:16:59,037 --> 00:17:01,074

Deliria, what are you doing?

00:17:01,074 --> 00:17:03,981

That's my flora and my fauna!

00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,750

I have been insulted,

00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,256

and that outweighs anything

and everything else,

00:17:08,256 --> 00:17:09,959

including anything

we happen to have been

00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:11,529

talking about

when the offense occurred.

00:17:11,529 --> 00:17:13,634

At least stomp

another part of the forest.

00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:15,938

That grove is home

to the last of the dodos.

00:17:15,938 --> 00:17:18,209

How dare you tell me

where to stop?

00:17:18,309 --> 00:17:20,714

Pulling Mother in

may have been a mistake.

00:17:20,714 --> 00:17:23,085

Are you kidding?

We finally got 'em on the run.

00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,789

Stomp those birds!

00:17:24,789 --> 00:17:26,057

Go, wife!

00:17:27,059 --> 00:17:28,563

[birds chirping]

00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:30,266

You're just gonna

let her drive

00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,403

a precious bird to extinction?

00:17:32,403 --> 00:17:35,009

No one wants to live

in a world without the dodo.

00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:36,378

Do something.

00:17:36,378 --> 00:17:39,284

That's it,

no more Mr. Nice God.

00:17:39,284 --> 00:17:40,787

Oh, is that

what you're known for?

00:17:40,787 --> 00:17:44,495

I thought it was rodents

and lazy, improvised music.

00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:46,031

Lazy?

00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:48,503

[grunts]

00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:51,275

Mom, grow taller than him,

then fight back!

00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:53,746

That's actually

a really good idea.

00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:59,559

Kill everything

with feathers or fur!

00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:02,731

[grunting]

00:18:08,977 --> 00:18:12,116

[grunting]

00:18:15,222 --> 00:18:16,158

[flies buzzing]

00:18:16,158 --> 00:18:17,160

[whimpers]

00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:22,136

[crowd scuffling]

00:18:24,508 --> 00:18:26,947

We're gonna need

a bigger negotiation table.

00:18:26,947 --> 00:18:28,717

Mom, stop!

00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:30,887

We can resolve this amicably!

00:18:30,887 --> 00:18:34,996

How would you like it

if I insulted your horns?

00:18:34,996 --> 00:18:37,333

The idea that there's

anything to insult

00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:39,037

is incredibly insulting.

00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:40,641

Well, good.

00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:41,543

She can't hear me.

00:18:41,543 --> 00:18:44,181

They're all past

hearing reason.

00:18:44,281 --> 00:18:46,451

Maybe shocking them

will get their attention.

00:18:46,451 --> 00:18:48,388

- What do you have in mind?

- Kiss me.

00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:49,859

But you can't

take your bowl off here.

00:18:49,859 --> 00:18:51,228

Kiss me through the glass.

00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:52,665

Really? Won't that be weird?

00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,499

Exactly.

00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,302

Just think about river sex.

00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,374

[both moaning]

00:18:57,374 --> 00:18:59,344

[creature chirring]

00:18:59,344 --> 00:19:01,115

It's working.

Keep going.

00:19:01,115 --> 00:19:03,920

My and your pleasure.

00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:04,922

[moaning]

00:19:04,922 --> 00:19:05,991

Daphne?

00:19:05,991 --> 00:19:07,628

Hippo?

00:19:07,628 --> 00:19:08,629

Hang on.

00:19:08,629 --> 00:19:10,132

Are they not fighting

down there?

00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:11,435

You have to do some work

00:19:11,435 --> 00:19:13,105

or I'll just step

on all of you.

00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:16,946

Is that your son

and my forest daughter?

00:19:16,946 --> 00:19:19,450

Hippo?

You better be hurting her.

00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,286

I'm not.

00:19:20,286 --> 00:19:21,321

I don't think I am.

00:19:21,321 --> 00:19:23,058

Am I?

- Nope.

00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:24,595

[crowd grumbling]

00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:26,699

Hippo, why are you kissing

Daphne through glass?

00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,636

We're proving

that life is messy.

00:19:28,636 --> 00:19:30,974

You're all choosing fighting

over coexisting

00:19:30,974 --> 00:19:32,277

because it's safer.

00:19:32,277 --> 00:19:33,846

But look where it leads.

00:19:33,846 --> 00:19:36,484

But why are you kissing her

through glass?

00:19:36,484 --> 00:19:38,857

Real bravery comes

from doing something imperfect

00:19:38,857 --> 00:19:41,729

and fixing it as you go,

because it's worth it.

00:19:41,829 --> 00:19:44,033

And that's what

humans and nature have to do,

00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:47,273

build a world together with

all the messiness that entails

00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,144

because we need each other.

00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,214

This is gross

00:19:51,214 --> 00:19:53,586

but also inspiring?

00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:56,124

Daphne, does this mean

you're not interested

00:19:56,124 --> 00:19:57,226

in going on a date later?

00:19:57,226 --> 00:19:58,697

Oh, no, I'm not.

00:19:58,697 --> 00:19:59,632

Okay.

00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:01,367

Honestly, it's just nice

to have closure.

00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,038

You can have

your sister back.

00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:05,511

I think the mouth jar

has a red lid.

00:20:05,511 --> 00:20:07,848

The war is over.

From this day forward,

00:20:07,848 --> 00:20:09,484

nature and man will coexist,

00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:11,522

seeking an ever

more perfect union

00:20:11,522 --> 00:20:14,662

which we will likely achieve

in 10 to 20 years.

00:20:14,662 --> 00:20:16,164

[crowd cheers]

00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:18,603

You know, we didn't

actually solve anything.

00:20:18,603 --> 00:20:19,505

We solved us.

00:20:19,505 --> 00:20:20,974

We'll figure out the rest

as we go.

00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:23,011

And in the meantime,

how about we say,

00:20:23,011 --> 00:20:24,548

uh, humans can camp

in the woods

00:20:24,548 --> 00:20:26,285

to make sure

nature isn't overstepping

00:20:26,285 --> 00:20:29,024

and dogs will live

with humans to spy on 'em.

00:20:29,024 --> 00:20:30,927

- They already do that.

- All right.

00:20:30,927 --> 00:20:32,898

Cats?

- Deal.

00:20:36,005 --> 00:20:37,406

[soft futuristic music]

00:20:37,406 --> 00:20:38,576

Are you depressed?

00:20:38,576 --> 00:20:40,212

Is making your way in the world

00:20:40,212 --> 00:20:42,651

in the present taking

everything you have?

00:20:42,651 --> 00:20:46,058

Then you need to come down

to the Yak Shack.

00:20:46,058 --> 00:20:47,260

[lows]

00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:50,032

That's right,

Krapopolis' newest bar

00:20:50,032 --> 00:20:52,671

is co-owned by man and nature

00:20:52,671 --> 00:20:55,310

and the perfect place

to forget your sorrows

00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:56,712

and also your joys,

00:20:56,712 --> 00:21:00,053

whether you're a human man

or a bearish bear.

00:21:00,153 --> 00:21:02,390

[lows]

00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:03,593

That's right, Bartleby.

00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:05,697

And don't forget,

here at the Yak Shack,

00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:08,102

your first and tenth beer

are free.

00:21:08,102 --> 00:21:10,272

I should know.

I'm not just the owner,

00:21:10,272 --> 00:21:12,511

I'm also the customer.

00:21:12,511 --> 00:21:15,884

♪ ♪

00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:25,503

What was that?

And why did we have

00:21:25,503 --> 00:21:27,072

to stand here

for the whole thing?

00:21:27,072 --> 00:21:29,645

Who cares?

The tenth beer is free!

00:21:29,845 --> 00:21:30,947

[crowd cheers]

00:21:31,147 --> 00:21:32,784

Did you get any of that?

00:21:35,089 --> 00:21:36,759

Bento.

[all cheer]