Тор

00:00:04,810 --> 00:00:06,012

are really that big?

00:00:06,046 --> 00:00:07,716

Harpy:

Oh, the biggest,

00:00:07,749 --> 00:00:09,418

big as, like,

3 normal wolves.

00:00:09,451 --> 00:00:11,924

Tyrannis: And I can kill one

with this sideways bow?

00:00:11,958 --> 00:00:13,994

There! I see one!

00:00:14,028 --> 00:00:15,698

Holy moly, he's big.

[Wolf snarling]

00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,736

Will I be able to carry it?

It's very important

00:00:17,769 --> 00:00:20,474

that I carry it on my shoulders

as I enter town.

00:00:20,508 --> 00:00:22,111

[Wolf roars]

00:00:22,144 --> 00:00:23,480

Come on!

He's getting away!

00:00:23,515 --> 00:00:25,150

Harpy: We should not cross

the border

00:00:25,183 --> 00:00:26,887

into the northern world.

00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,123

Tyrannis:

I'm sure it's fine.

00:00:28,156 --> 00:00:29,626

Let's get this bastard.

00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,138

Harpy: Careful.

That tree is sacred.

00:00:44,222 --> 00:00:46,894

How sacred would you say?

00:00:46,927 --> 00:00:49,164

[Theme music playing]

00:00:57,649 --> 00:00:59,686

[Singers chanting]

00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:10,106

Singers: Whoo!

00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,982

Tyrannis: The Norse gods

are coming here?

00:01:14,015 --> 00:01:15,350

Why?

What's that about?

00:01:15,417 --> 00:01:17,388

Does anyone know

what it might be about?

00:01:17,421 --> 00:01:19,225

Deliria: Someone broke

their sacred tree

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using an arrow tipped

with Olympian steel.

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Tyrannis: Wow, I wouldn't have

even thought they have trees.

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How sacred is this one

exactly?

00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:27,675

Deliria: It connects

Valhalla and Hel.

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They have two places you go

when you die,

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depending on whether you're

"good" or "bad."

00:01:31,182 --> 00:01:33,153

It's way too confusing.

I mean, you're dead.

00:01:33,186 --> 00:01:34,756

How good can you be?

00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,960

Stupendous: But why do we

have to be here?

00:01:37,027 --> 00:01:39,165

Aw, crap! Are we food?

Deliria: No,

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the Norse gods get pissy

if there isn't a huge crowd.

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[Thunderclap]

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[Majestic music playing]

00:01:50,855 --> 00:01:52,826

Jormungandr: Ladies and

gentlemen, I introduce to you,

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coming today from Asgard, the

greatest city in the universe...

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Deliria: Wrong.

Jormungandr: the gods

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of the northern world!

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First to be introduced,

the father of all the gods,

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protector of heroes

who join him

00:02:06,119 --> 00:02:07,989

when they die.

Stupendous: If they're dead,

00:02:08,023 --> 00:02:09,559

he didn't protect them

much, did he?

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Jormungandr: Please welcome

the great Odin.

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Next to introduce,

the goddess of the dead.

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She's "hella" powerful.

This is a funny joke

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because her name is Hela!

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Also next, look out,

he's gonna trick ya.

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Please welcome

the trickster god,

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who is named Loki!

00:02:31,637 --> 00:02:33,607

Ha ha ha ha!

Tyrannis: That's his thing?

00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:35,276

He does tricks?

Stupendous: Lame.

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Do these guys even have

a war god?

00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:39,251

Jormungandr: Also next,

the god of thunder.

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Please welcome...

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[Thunderclap]

Thor!

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Stupendous: Whoa!

Tyrannis: Stupe, are you OK?

00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,138

Stupendous: I think I just got

in touch with my straight side.

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-Over here!

-Look upon our fair breasts!

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Thor: Your chests are

nearly as beautiful

00:02:54,516 --> 00:02:56,452

as my own.

Woman: Score!

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Tyrannis: So, hypothetically,

if this meeting doesn't

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go well, what happens?

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Deliria: War between Asgard

and Olympus.

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Tyrannis: And is that more

of a you problem

00:03:03,868 --> 00:03:05,838

or an us problem?

Deliria: Well, the war would

00:03:05,871 --> 00:03:09,045

go on forever, and mortals

would be the first to die.

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So if I were you,

I'd mingle my ass off.

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Tyrannis: Copy that.

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Loki: Do you see

this little flower,

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or is it a big flower?

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And where are

your sandals?

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[People murmur]

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-You're not impressed?

-Oh, no, it was good.

00:03:22,237 --> 00:03:24,208

A good little trick

you did there.

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Loki: My tricks are not little.

I represent chaos.

00:03:26,245 --> 00:03:28,216

-Got it, yeah.

-For example,

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you and I are talking

right now, yes?

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-That we are.

-And you say hello

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and expect me to say hello.

Tyrannis: Sure.

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But instead, I hand you a snake.

[Snake hissing]

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I am Loki!

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Tyrannis: I'm sorry.

I'm having a hard time making

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that one feel appreciated.

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What? What are we looking at

so intensely?

00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,987

Thor: So, what are you

the goddess of?

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Stupendous: Me? I'm not

the goddess of anything.

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-Could have fooled me.

-[Giggles]

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I don't know what that was.

Hee hee hee!

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I mean, grrr!

I'm a soldier.

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Tyrannis: Wow, that looks

like it went well.

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Stupendous: Oh, yeah, I'm into

this guy, and when Stupe aims

00:04:01,216 --> 00:04:03,186

to hit something,

Stupe don't miss.

00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:05,390

The Stuper the berry,

the Stuper the fruit.

00:04:05,424 --> 00:04:07,394

You feel me?

Deliria: Thor?

00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:09,398

I wouldn't if I were you.

Been there, done that.

00:04:09,431 --> 00:04:11,402

He and I had a thing

back in the day.

00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:13,808

I mean, if you're into

sloppy seconds, have at it.

00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:15,644

Tyrannis: Mother,

what the hell was that?

00:04:15,678 --> 00:04:17,782

Deliria: What? I'm offering

advice to my daughter.

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Tyrannis: No, you're

sex-blocking her.

00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,222

We need a better word

for that.

00:04:21,255 --> 00:04:22,825

Deliria:

It's for her own good.

00:04:22,892 --> 00:04:24,863

A mother looks after

her daughter in these matters.

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Tyrannis:

So you genital-preventing

00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,238

your own daughter had nothing

to do with jealousy?

00:04:29,272 --> 00:04:30,741

-Jealousy?

-You watched him flirt

00:04:30,775 --> 00:04:32,411

with her, and I watched

you watching.

00:04:32,445 --> 00:04:34,148

Deliria: So we both like

watching things.

00:04:34,181 --> 00:04:35,751

Look at us

and our kinks.

00:04:35,784 --> 00:04:37,922

If anything, he was trying

to make me jealous.

00:04:37,955 --> 00:04:41,262

That's exactly the kind of mind

game I want to protect her from.

00:04:41,295 --> 00:04:43,934

-Hello, Thor.

-Oh, hi.

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Hippocampus: I can't believe Ty

and Stupe got invited

00:04:46,973 --> 00:04:49,512

to that thing just 'cause

they're "demi-gods."

00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:51,517

I mean, they were born

with legs.

00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:53,520

Isn't that enough?

Shlub: Screw that party.

00:04:53,553 --> 00:04:56,192

We'll have fun together.

We should go and have a drink.

00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,862

Hippocampus: Eh, maybe.

00:04:57,895 --> 00:04:59,866

I might just blow up some stuff

and call it a night.

00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:02,839

Shlub: Oh, look, the Norse gods

brought trolls with them.

00:05:02,906 --> 00:05:05,277

Hippocampus: Those are trolls?

Those guys are evil.

00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:06,947

And I heard if you get one

to bleed,

00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:08,449

their blood turns to gold.

00:05:08,483 --> 00:05:10,621

We should mess him up.

We should drain him.

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Shlub: You would kill someone

for money just like that?

00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:16,399

Hippocampus: A troll? Hell yeah.

The world would thank us.

00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:18,971

Shlub: That sounds

way too self-satisfied.

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Hippocampus: Self-satisfied?

00:05:20,474 --> 00:05:22,444

Are we not talking

about trolls here?

00:05:22,512 --> 00:05:25,350

Is this how I find out

my dad loves trolls?

00:05:25,384 --> 00:05:27,855

They eat children!

Shlub: You don't get it because

00:05:27,888 --> 00:05:29,593

you don't drink with people.

Hippocampus: You're going

00:05:29,626 --> 00:05:32,264

to highroad me for not

being a drunk now?

00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:34,101

Shlub: It's a vibe,

and one you'd do well

00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,439

to spend some time in.

Hippocampus: Spend some time?

00:05:36,472 --> 00:05:38,476

Who the hell else do you

drink with?

00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,480

Shlub: I've had drinks

with ogres, with krakens.

00:05:40,515 --> 00:05:42,484

There's a monster in Africa

that's just a horse

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with a long neck, and I've had

drinks with those guys.

00:05:44,990 --> 00:05:46,760

Hippocampus: You're talking

about giraffes?

00:05:46,827 --> 00:05:48,964

Giraffes are peaceful.

-They're absolute monsters.

00:05:48,997 --> 00:05:51,335

Their master plan starts

with convincing you fellows

00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:52,972

they're just animals,

but trust me.

00:05:53,006 --> 00:05:55,344

They'll grow whatever it takes

to eat everything.

00:05:55,377 --> 00:05:58,083

-OK, fine!

-And yet, and yet!

00:05:58,116 --> 00:05:59,553

I've sat down

and had a drink

00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,590

with one, and we found

common ground.

00:06:01,623 --> 00:06:03,895

Hippocampus: So you're telling

me if I sit down and drink

00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:06,901

with a fricking troll,

I'll come away from that

00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,038

not thinking he's

a complete piece of crap?

00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,641

Shlub: Why don't we

find out?

00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,779

Excuse me,

my friend and I were

00:06:12,812 --> 00:06:16,620

just talking about how much we

hate bridge trespassers.

00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:19,592

Troll: Oh, don't get me started!

I mean, hello!

00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:22,464

A bridge is not just

some friggin' pile of rocks

00:06:22,498 --> 00:06:26,171

for you to walk over.

It's someone's home!

00:06:26,205 --> 00:06:27,541

Deliria:

Thor, old friend.

00:06:27,575 --> 00:06:29,111

Thor: Oh, hello.

00:06:29,144 --> 00:06:31,315

Would you like me to look

upon your breasts now?

00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,320

-Darling, it's me.

-Have we met?

00:06:33,353 --> 00:06:34,956

Deliria: You can stop

the charade now.

00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:37,461

I dumped you, and I'm sorry

if you can't get over it.

00:06:37,494 --> 00:06:40,199

Thor: I'm so sorry.

I really have no recollection.

00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:43,741

You are saying you

and me, we...

00:06:43,775 --> 00:06:45,878

-You are joking.

-I'm very bad at joking.

00:06:45,912 --> 00:06:49,085

I do know one joke, though.

A man has accidentally

00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,889

eaten the feces

of his teacher.

00:06:50,922 --> 00:06:53,627

It's funny because

in our language, the word

00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:55,765

for teacher, man, feces,

eaten, and accidentally

00:06:55,798 --> 00:06:58,002

all sound

almost identical!

00:06:58,036 --> 00:07:00,040

Deliria: We had sex

for hundreds of years!

00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:03,547

You called me Spanky Tush!

I called you Mr. Lollipop!

00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:06,285

Thor: This does not ring

a bell, or as we say,

00:07:06,319 --> 00:07:07,955

"gut a fish."

00:07:07,989 --> 00:07:10,327

Deliria: Pretending he

doesn't remember me?

00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,632

Can you believe the lies

this guy tells?

00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,636

Tyrannis: Well, maybe he

actually doesn't remember you.

00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:16,607

Deliria: Oh, he remembers me,

and he'll do the same thing

00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,844

to her, and she won't

be able to handle it.

00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:20,848

Tyrannis: Oh, right, this is

something you can handle,

00:07:20,881 --> 00:07:23,721

which is why you're so angry.

-Don't change the subject!

00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:25,925

This is about Stupendous,

and he does not get

00:07:25,958 --> 00:07:27,762

to do this to me--

I mean, her.

00:07:27,796 --> 00:07:29,632

That meant nothing.

I mix up my words sometimes,

00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:32,137

like "horse" and "fish."

I did that once.

00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:34,141

Tyrannis: Mother,

you are flailing right now,

00:07:34,208 --> 00:07:36,547

and I'm not judging. I know

exactly what you're feeling.

00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:39,418

You're feeling weak, irrelevant,

like everyone knows

00:07:39,452 --> 00:07:41,222

you wet the bed,

as a random hypothetical,

00:07:41,256 --> 00:07:43,727

and the minute you demand they

stop thinking you wet beds--

00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,599

again hypothetically,

you've put yourself in a spiral

00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,737

that ends with you walking

around with your sheets,

00:07:48,771 --> 00:07:51,408

making everyone smell them

to confirm there's no urine.

00:07:51,442 --> 00:07:54,949

Which is pathetic, or would be

if anyone had ever done it.

00:07:54,982 --> 00:07:57,622

Deliria: What are you saying,

besides you wet beds?

00:07:57,655 --> 00:07:59,626

Tyrannis: The minute you start

penis-deflecting

00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:01,630

your own daughter,

you're headed into trouble.

00:08:01,696 --> 00:08:03,867

Deliria: Not if I'm headed

into awesome.

00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,337

Horse exit!

00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:07,675

See?

00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:11,917

Athena: Hela, fair warning.

00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:13,754

I will have your brother

tonight.

00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,860

-Not if I get there first.

-Uh, I have wings on my feet.

00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:19,264

I get everywhere first.

Hela: It looks like you may be

00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:22,638

too late, as my brother has

already chosen a bed partner.

00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:24,643

Thor: I'm so curious

about you,

00:08:24,676 --> 00:08:26,445

like, what's your deepest fear?

Tell me.

00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:28,818

Stupendous: Pretty much a tie

between nothing and nobody.

00:08:28,851 --> 00:08:30,822

What's yours?

Thor: Mine is that I will fall

00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:34,529

onto an upturned chair and be

penetrated by one of its legs.

00:08:34,563 --> 00:08:37,267

-Yeah, that would haunt me.

-But my biggest fear

00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:40,574

is I'm afraid of not

kissing you.

00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:42,443

Deliria:

Oh, hello there.

00:08:42,477 --> 00:08:44,481

I brought drinks

for the lovebirds.

00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:46,151

-Mom.

-There are some who say gods

00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:48,524

should only be with gods,

but you're not afraid

00:08:48,557 --> 00:08:51,061

to date beneath you.

Love wins.

00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,066

-Mom.

-I'm excited by how strong

00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,605

your daughter is.

Deliria: For a mortal, sure.

00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:57,609

She was strong even as a baby.

You would have been

00:08:57,642 --> 00:08:59,613

several million years old

by then.

00:08:59,646 --> 00:09:01,082

Does that trouble you,

00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:03,687

the almost incalculable

age difference?

00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,692

Tyrannis: Mom, isn't there

a city you could be blowing up?

00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:08,429

Or look, this servant spilled

a drink on you.

00:09:08,462 --> 00:09:10,233

-No, I didn't.

-Seems like a problem

00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,739

that demands all

of your attention right now.

00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:14,575

Doesn't she deserve

to be a goat?

00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:16,746

I know I'd love to see it.

Deliria: I'm fine, Ty.

00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:18,750

-You're not, Mother.

-I hear you're looking

00:09:18,817 --> 00:09:21,623

to couple up.

I have every set of genitals,

00:09:21,656 --> 00:09:24,762

and they are fresh.

Deliria: Get off me, worm.

00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,469

[Goat bleats]

00:09:28,504 --> 00:09:30,741

Troll: So then

this mermaid goes,

00:09:30,774 --> 00:09:32,611

"Well, you're

my first troll,

00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:34,983

so I guess we're

both new at this."

00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:37,087

[All laugh]

00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,291

Troll: But I didn't love her,

which is why I had to

00:09:39,325 --> 00:09:42,665

toss her back. I knew I couldn't

give her what she needed.

00:09:42,698 --> 00:09:44,970

Shlub: Sounds like you did

the honorable thing.

00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:47,473

Hippocampus: Yup, yup, so lemme

ask you something, Grarg,

00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:50,480

speaking of love, and I see

you're a real romantic...

00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:52,317

Grarg: That I am.

That I am.

00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,522

Hippocampus: Would you say

that maybe not all people

00:09:54,522 --> 00:09:56,560

should be loved the same amount

automatically?

00:09:56,593 --> 00:09:58,898

Grarg: Now you're talking

my language.

00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,368

Hippocampus: Interesting.

So what do you think about

00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:05,545

this concept of some people

being better than others?

00:10:05,578 --> 00:10:07,380

-Are we cool?

-Well, I mean,

00:10:07,414 --> 00:10:10,453

don't say anything you

wouldn't say among friends.

00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:13,527

Grarg: Well, it sounds like you

guys are talking about...

00:10:13,594 --> 00:10:14,863

mothers.

00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:16,866

-Wait. Mothers?

-Mothers deserve

00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,837

to be lifted

above everyone.

00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:20,841

They give us life,

they nourish us,

00:10:20,874 --> 00:10:23,379

and what do we do in return?

We take 'em for granted.

00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:26,587

They should be cherished,

every last one of them.

00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,091

Shlub: Absolutely.

And I'm not even winking.

00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:31,462

Grarg: If I could have

my mom back for one day,

00:10:31,495 --> 00:10:33,133

you know what I would do?

00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,936

Anything she wanted.

00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:37,942

Hippocampus: To mothers!

Odin: To Olympus!

00:10:37,975 --> 00:10:40,948

I see friendships forming.

Love blossoming.

00:10:40,981 --> 00:10:43,654

My boy Thor's made

a new friend, looks like.

00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:47,260

And mutual respect

between our two god-doms!

00:10:47,294 --> 00:10:49,999

-Hear, hear!

-And even though you guys really

00:10:50,032 --> 00:10:52,304

borked our Yggdrasil Tree,

which is, like, the single

00:10:52,337 --> 00:10:55,176

most sacred--but whatever.

I'm past it, I'm past it.

00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,582

You guys are cool,

we're cool, I'm cool.

00:10:57,615 --> 00:11:00,153

Anyway, Skol!

All: Skol!

00:11:00,187 --> 00:11:02,559

Tyrannis: Hey, come on, Mom.

Let this one go.

00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:04,361

War's been averted,

they're letting go

00:11:04,395 --> 00:11:06,867

of all the tree silliness,

and look how happy Stupe is.

00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,204

They're clearly hitting it off.

Stupe: Ha ha ha ha!

00:11:09,238 --> 00:11:12,143

Wait, the feces came

from his teacher?

00:11:12,177 --> 00:11:13,781

That is hilarious!

00:11:13,814 --> 00:11:16,151

-She's making a huge mistake.

-What if she's not?

00:11:16,184 --> 00:11:17,822

For that matter,

what if she is?

00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:19,324

It doesn't take away

from you at all.

00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:21,229

You're still hot,

and I don't need anyone

00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:23,233

unpacking that.

It's an objective compliment.

00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:25,103

Deliria: This isn't about me.

I need to prove

00:11:25,136 --> 00:11:26,974

he remembers having sex

with me.

00:11:27,007 --> 00:11:28,978

Tyrannis: That sounds like it's

very much about you.

00:11:29,011 --> 00:11:30,981

Loki: There you are.

Tell me, Mr. King,

00:11:31,014 --> 00:11:32,685

do you like snakes?

Tyrannis: No,

00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:34,154

we already established

I don't.

00:11:34,188 --> 00:11:35,891

Loki: Then why are you

drinking one?

00:11:35,924 --> 00:11:37,562

Tyrannis: Aah!

[Chuckles]

00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:40,868

That's very clever, but we're

having a discussion here.

00:11:40,902 --> 00:11:42,838

Loki: What discussion can be

more important

00:11:42,838 --> 00:11:45,811

than your missing sandals?

Where could they be?

00:11:45,844 --> 00:11:47,815

Inside of this snake?

00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:49,819

Tyrannis: It's fun.

It's very fun stuff.

00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:51,823

You do a lot with snakes

and sandals, I see,

00:11:51,856 --> 00:11:54,829

but my mother and I are talking

about a family matter.

00:11:54,862 --> 00:11:56,833

Loki: Yes, I've heard.

You have been spurned

00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:58,837

by a lover.

Tyrannis: It's fine. She's fine.

00:11:58,871 --> 00:12:01,041

Loki: One time,

my lover chose another man.

00:12:01,075 --> 00:12:03,513

Then do you know what I did?

I made myself look exactly

00:12:03,547 --> 00:12:06,419

like this other man

and made love to her as him.

00:12:06,452 --> 00:12:08,222

[Chuckles]

00:12:08,256 --> 00:12:10,595

The look on her face

when I revealed myself.

00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:13,032

It was delicious revenge!

00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,169

Tyrannis: To get your girlfriend

to have sex with you, thinking

00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,709

you were someone better?

Am I missing something cultural?

00:12:17,742 --> 00:12:19,377

Loki:

It was chaotic power!

00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:21,749

She will never forget what I

did to her that day!

00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,220

Tyrannis: And this was

a burn on her, not you?

00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:26,258

-I'm going to get more snakes.

-There is something

00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:28,262

to what he's saying.

Tyrannis: Are you kidding?

00:12:28,295 --> 00:12:30,267

You want to turn yourself

into Stupendous

00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,270

and have sex with Thor?

Deliria: Of course not,

00:12:32,303 --> 00:12:34,274

but if Thor thinks I'm

Stupendous,

00:12:34,308 --> 00:12:36,479

he'll tell her things he

refuses to tell me.

00:12:36,513 --> 00:12:38,416

Namely that he remembers.

00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:40,353

Tyrannis: I will not let you

do this. It is petty,

00:12:40,386 --> 00:12:42,725

embarrassing, and messed-up.

And there's consent issues.

00:12:42,758 --> 00:12:44,729

Deliria: As petty, embarrassing,

and messed-up

00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:47,400

as breaking a tree

and pretending you didn't?

00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,139

Tyrannis: Wait. You knew?

Why haven't you told anyone?

00:12:50,173 --> 00:12:52,110

Deliria: Because we are

a family, and families

00:12:52,144 --> 00:12:54,114

let each other do petty,

embarrassing,

00:12:54,147 --> 00:12:56,284

and messed-up things

if they want.

00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,022

Tyrannis: Aren't families

supposed to save each other

00:12:58,022 --> 00:12:59,324

from themselves?

Deliria: I don't have

00:12:59,357 --> 00:13:01,028

the slightest idea

what families do.

00:13:01,061 --> 00:13:02,965

-But you just said that--

-Let me put it this way:

00:13:02,998 --> 00:13:05,302

You out me, I out you.

00:13:06,471 --> 00:13:08,810

So, unless you have

more integrity than me,

00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:11,549

I have a trick to play.

00:13:13,821 --> 00:13:15,791

All: ♪ Well, he reached

for the door ♪

00:13:15,825 --> 00:13:17,795

♪ And his willy hit

the floor ♪

00:13:17,829 --> 00:13:21,335

♪ And that's why they

call him Johnson! ♪

00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:23,507

Grarg: You know what I

never thought about?

00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:26,011

So that song presupposes

a world

00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:30,019

where the nickname Johnson

exists before the guy with the--

00:13:30,053 --> 00:13:32,157

Hippocampus: Oh, my God!

I'm a super-genius,

00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:34,662

and I never even thought

of that!

00:13:34,696 --> 00:13:38,235

Grarg: That's why you can only

sing it when you're wasted.

00:13:38,269 --> 00:13:39,973

Shlub: He's funny!

You see that?

00:13:40,006 --> 00:13:42,979

Funny, thoughtful,

a man full of surprises.

00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:46,886

Hippocampus: That he is.

[All laugh]

00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,890

Grarg: I know I'm just

drinking to escape.

00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:50,861

You wanna know

my darkest secret?

00:13:50,895 --> 00:13:52,865

Shlub:

Sounds very vulnerable.

00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,869

Hippocampus: And yet dark.

Grarg: I'm in love

00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,006

with my best friend's

girlfriend.

00:13:57,039 --> 00:13:59,011

Shlub: The mermaid?

Grarg: No!

00:13:59,078 --> 00:14:01,047

Connie was just

a distraction.

00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:04,722

Her name is Grelda, but she's

never gonna leave Grunk.

00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:07,561

Is this gonna be

enough food?

00:14:07,594 --> 00:14:11,636

All: ♪ Malog mog mog,

den malog grog grog ♪

00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:15,845

♪ Den malog mog grog

grog penis!

00:14:15,878 --> 00:14:17,313

Shlub: And when all is

said and done, we are

00:14:17,347 --> 00:14:19,519

just guys,

singing about our parts.

00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:21,523

Hippocampus:

You know what, Grarg? Grarg.

00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:24,194

Grarg, come in close.

I'm glad I got to know you.

00:14:24,227 --> 00:14:27,400

Grarg: Same, but now

I gotta drain you.

00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,605

Hippocampus: What?

00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:36,084

Deliria as Stupe: Hey, I got

some of this yeasty swill,

00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:39,324

which I love,

because I'm Stupe!

00:14:39,358 --> 00:14:40,961

[Gulps, belches]

00:14:40,994 --> 00:14:43,399

I love how much gas

is in it.

00:14:43,432 --> 00:14:45,102

Thor: This reminds me

of another joke.

00:14:45,136 --> 00:14:47,106

A milkmaid goes

to fetch some water,

00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:50,113

and her cow lifts her skirt

with its flatulence.

00:14:50,146 --> 00:14:52,117

This is funny because

once again--

00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:54,121

Deliria as Stupe: Hilarious.

I'm Stupe.

00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:57,260

I talk plain.

Ha ha! Butts.

00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:59,999

So I have a question.

You and my mom, you were

00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:02,671

just messing with her, right?

You and her had a thing

00:15:02,705 --> 00:15:04,942

that you remember, right?

Tyrannis: Mother, I thought

00:15:04,976 --> 00:15:06,646

about it, and I cannot

let you do this.

00:15:06,679 --> 00:15:09,350

Thor: You are mistaking

your sister for your mother,

00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:11,890

which is very amusing

because--

00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:13,860

Deliria as Stupe:

Ty, don't get in the way here.

00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:16,031

I'm Stupe,

and Thor was just about

00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,570

to tell me something

about our mother.

00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:20,273

Tyrannis: Don't listen to her.

She's my dumb mother,

00:15:20,306 --> 00:15:22,276

about to do

a very dumb thing.

00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,280

Deliria: What did we say

about keeping quiet?

00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,485

Thor: Stop! Stop this!

Both: Stay out of this!

00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:28,924

Thor: Oof! Aah!

[Deliria and Tyrannis groan]

00:15:28,957 --> 00:15:30,426

Stupendous:

Hey, I got us some

00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:34,602

of that swill I like--

What the hell!

00:15:37,308 --> 00:15:39,111

Tyrannis: Wait, so Norse gods

can die?

00:15:39,111 --> 00:15:40,814

You're telling me that

the canonical real story

00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,620

of the beloved god Thor

is now that he died at a party

00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:46,358

on Mt. Olympus when the goddess

Deliria shoved him and he got

00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:48,930

fatally penetrated by a chair?

Deliria: Yes.

00:15:48,963 --> 00:15:50,634

Stupendous: What the hell

were you thinking?!

00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:53,339

Deliria: I wasn't thinking.

Aah! What is this feeling?

00:15:53,372 --> 00:15:55,176

There's a feeling

in my stomach.

00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:56,880

-Is it like a pit?

-Yes,

00:15:56,913 --> 00:15:59,251

like a pit of bad.

A badness in my stomach.

00:15:59,284 --> 00:16:02,190

-Yes, that's called shame.

-Which you should be feeling!

00:16:02,223 --> 00:16:04,695

Tyrannis: I warned you about it,

but the more pressing issue is

00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:06,498

the probable end

of humanity.

00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,269

Oh, let me see if I

can fix this.

00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:11,175

Is--is there a way we can

make this look heroic?

00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,314

Ah, OK, OK.

He's not impaled on a chair.

00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:17,220

He was stabbed.

That's a little better.

00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:20,293

Hey, he--he fought valiantly...

[Grunting]

00:16:20,326 --> 00:16:22,296

against...

00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:24,101

a mouse.

00:16:24,101 --> 00:16:26,405

No, a giant mouse, who,

00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:31,381

after killing Thor, was cursed

forever to be small.

00:16:32,651 --> 00:16:35,624

They're never gonna

buy this, are they?

00:16:35,658 --> 00:16:38,329

Odin: My brave son did

everything he could,

00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:41,001

but the giant mouse proved

too powerful.

00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,707

We're told he fought

bravely, but alas,

00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:45,644

this was

the giant mouse's day.

00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:48,015

Tyrannis: I knew we'd pull

this off. The peace holds,

00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:50,219

and they've got themselves

a great little story.

00:16:50,252 --> 00:16:53,025

Maybe sometimes a price

doesn't have to be paid.

00:16:53,059 --> 00:16:55,496

Deliria: Aah!

00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:57,901

Odin: Such is

the legacy of Thor,

00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,906

God of Thunder,

00:16:59,939 --> 00:17:01,776

killed by a giant mouse.

00:17:01,843 --> 00:17:04,080

Deliria: Aah!

00:17:04,113 --> 00:17:06,318

Very sorry.

00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:09,692

Odin: That's actually

kind of cool.

00:17:09,726 --> 00:17:11,696

Deliria: Aah!

00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,332

It's this thing

in my stomach.

00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,336

I get a little relief

when I scream fire,

00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,007

but it just comes

right back.

00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,177

Wah!

Tyrannis: God, I'm telling you,

00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,983

that is shame.

You did something shameful.

00:17:22,016 --> 00:17:23,553

Deliria: Fine,

let's call it shame.

00:17:23,587 --> 00:17:25,256

I just need to get rid of it.

Should I set fire

00:17:25,289 --> 00:17:27,427

to more things? Whoa!

Tyrannis: It won't work,

00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:29,297

Trust me.

I'm no stranger to it.

00:17:29,331 --> 00:17:31,570

I'm carrying a fair amount

of shame at all times.

00:17:31,603 --> 00:17:33,573

-So help me get rid of it.

-As far as I know,

00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:36,144

there's only one way that's

even halfway reliable.

00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:38,617

Face your daughter.

-Am I spitting fire on her?

00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:40,319

Stupendous:

I'll just deflect it.

00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:42,224

We can do this all day.

00:17:42,257 --> 00:17:44,194

Tyrannis: No, you're not

spitting fire on her.

00:17:44,227 --> 00:17:46,198

Just say the words

"I'm sorry."

00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,737

-Do I have to mean them?

-Start by saying them.

00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,072

Deliria: I'm sorry.

00:17:50,072 --> 00:17:51,576

Oh, that does feel

slightly better.

00:17:51,609 --> 00:17:53,245

Stupendous:

Maybe try meaning it.

00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:55,249

Deliria: I'm sorry...

00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,622

that I can't mean it

any more than this,

00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,926

but I am willing to say it.

I'm sorry.

00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:02,130

Stupendous: It's a start.

Tyrannis: And now, I'm afraid

00:18:02,163 --> 00:18:04,735

both of us have to come clean

with those guys.

00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:08,977

Deliria: My son and I have

an announcement.

00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,981

Grunk: Let's drain

the fish first.

00:18:11,015 --> 00:18:12,751

Hippocampus:

Drain me? Why?

00:18:12,785 --> 00:18:15,623

Grunk: The word under the bridge

is your blood gets us high.

00:18:15,657 --> 00:18:17,360

Hippocampus:

You don't even know?

00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:18,897

You're draining me

on spec?!

00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,399

Shlub:

You people are terrible.

00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,236

Grarg: Yeah.

We're trolls.

00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:24,074

Hippocampus: Dad, now you're

saying they're bad?

00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:25,878

Shlub: Yes, because he

didn't play fair.

00:18:25,911 --> 00:18:28,215

Hippocampus: Oh, hilarious!

You hear that, Grarg?

00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:31,088

You didn't play by the rules

of getting wasted!

00:18:31,121 --> 00:18:33,627

Shlub: Grarg, friend,

come on, please.

00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:36,298

You felt something.

We sang fun songs.

00:18:36,331 --> 00:18:38,937

Hippocampus: Grarg, Grarg,

come on, find it, find it, man!

00:18:38,971 --> 00:18:40,439

Shlub: I said giraffes

are the worst.

00:18:40,473 --> 00:18:42,410

You agreed.

Grarg: They are.

00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:43,880

Hippocampus: You cried

on my shoulder.

00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:46,418

The thing with that girl,

your best friend's wife.

00:18:46,452 --> 00:18:48,422

What's her name? Grelda!

Grunk: Grelda?

00:18:48,455 --> 00:18:50,426

You slept with Grarg?

00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,163

Grarg: She loves me more!

[Grunting]

00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:55,136

Grunk: You bastard!

Grelda: Don't hurt him!

00:18:55,169 --> 00:18:57,406

Shlub: This is probably

our best chance.

00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,580

Hippocampus: Yep.

[Punches landing, trolls grunt]

00:19:00,614 --> 00:19:03,052

[Both panting]

00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:05,056

Hippocampus: Wow!

That was freaky.

00:19:05,089 --> 00:19:07,026

Shlub, chuckling:

Nice memory!

00:19:07,026 --> 00:19:09,363

Hippocampus: You know what, Dad?

We should drink more often.

00:19:09,397 --> 00:19:13,205

Shlub: Yes,

that's my fishy boy!

00:19:22,056 --> 00:19:24,227

Tyrannis: I really appreciate

you giving us the chance

00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,431

to make things right.

Deliria: And I'm sorry

00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,737

I killed your son.

Loki: It was the ultimate trick.

00:19:28,770 --> 00:19:30,908

Deliria: No, it wasn't.

It was shameful.

00:19:30,941 --> 00:19:33,378

and tricks are stupid.

00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:39,491

Odin: Thank you

for repairing our tree,

00:19:39,525 --> 00:19:42,363

and to be honest, I never

quite clicked with Thor,

00:19:42,396 --> 00:19:44,969

so, yeah,

this matter is closed.

00:19:45,002 --> 00:19:47,473

Thor should be up there now

if you want to see him.

00:19:47,507 --> 00:19:49,879

Stupendous: You don't have

to ask me twice.

00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,682

Tyrannis: So,

he is immortal?

00:19:51,716 --> 00:19:55,356

Odin: No, he's dead, but you can

go up and he can come down.

00:19:55,389 --> 00:19:57,862

Tyrannis: You've got

a very flexible ontology here.

00:19:57,895 --> 00:19:59,965

Odin: Wait. It's been

bothering me all night.

00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:02,470

You look familiar.

Spanky Tush?

00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:06,111

Deliria: Mr. Lollipop?

Odin: Yes!

00:20:06,144 --> 00:20:07,647

It was us who had sex!

00:20:07,647 --> 00:20:09,953

I disguised myself

as my son Thor

00:20:09,986 --> 00:20:13,191

because I saw you were attracted

to him, which made me jealous.

00:20:13,225 --> 00:20:15,196

Deliria: Oh, that makes

so much more sense!

00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:17,000

I told you no one

would have forgotten me.

00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:19,003

Tyrannis: Yes, Mother, no one

would have forgotten you,

00:20:19,036 --> 00:20:22,209

but somehow, I forgot

that all gods are sociopaths.

00:20:22,243 --> 00:20:24,214

Odin: This reminds me

of a joke.

00:20:24,247 --> 00:20:26,018

Deliria: We don't need

to hear it.

00:20:26,051 --> 00:20:29,357

Tyrannis: Well, love is

in the air. Anyone up for--

00:20:29,391 --> 00:20:33,498

Ladies: We're busy.

Tyrannis: OK, copy that.

00:20:36,237 --> 00:20:37,240

Odin: A toast!

00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:39,310

To my brave son Thor, who is

00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:42,717

canonically dead now.

All: Skol!

00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:44,789

Odin: All in all,

it was a good trip.

00:20:44,822 --> 00:20:47,126

Hela, I hear you hooked up

with Apollo.

00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:49,197

Hela:

He was baby soft.

00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:51,703

Odin: And, Loki,

amazing work down there.

00:20:51,736 --> 00:20:54,675

You did some of your best stuff.

Heh heh heh! Did you guys see

00:20:54,709 --> 00:20:56,679

when that one guy's drink turned

into snakes?

00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:58,683

And then his whole chair

turned into snakes!

00:20:58,717 --> 00:21:00,887

[Laughter]

Odin: So many snakes!

00:21:00,921 --> 00:21:03,058

Tyrannis: That's his thing?

He does tricks?

00:21:03,091 --> 00:21:06,264

No, it's good, a good

little trick you did there.

00:21:06,297 --> 00:21:08,269

I'm just trying to get

my head around it.

00:21:08,302 --> 00:21:10,239

[Laughter continues]

00:21:10,273 --> 00:21:13,279

Loki: My next trick

will be Ragnarok!

00:21:13,312 --> 00:21:15,617

The sky darkening,

monsters from all corners

00:21:15,651 --> 00:21:18,824

of the earth converging

on Asgard, all the gods dying,

00:21:18,857 --> 00:21:23,031

and the sun and stars

falling into the sea!

00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,537

[Silence, one man coughing]

00:21:28,141 --> 00:21:31,314

Hela: Does anyone want

more fish?

00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,686

Man: Did you get any of that?

00:21:35,957 --> 00:21:37,694

Woman: Bento.

[All cheer]