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Во время сухого сезона Тираннис отвечает на вопросы Брутуса, Мириам и Джошуа о том, когда закончится сухой сезон, заявляя, что им следует пережить его, устроив Сухой фестиваль с поэтическими выступлениями. Столкнувшись с требованиями прекратить сухой сезон, Тираннис рассказывает своей семье о своих требованиях. Шлуб убеждает Тиранниса схитрить, показав погодную палку, которую он получил от жителей Плейса. После того, как грязевой костюм не срабатывает, Тираннис использует погодную палку, чтобы создавать бассейн, который нравится даже детёнышу Харибде, запускать орошение для фермера, обеспечивать ванной комнату для сирот, создавать пруд для парня и поливать кактус женщины. Это продолжается до тех пор, пока погодная палка не перестаёт работать, и жители Плейса во главе с вождём Равди не осаждают Крапополис, желая вернуть погодную палку, которую Шлуб украл у них во время Фестиваля Дружбы. Тем временем Шлуб убеждает Делирию разрешить своим солдатам охладиться в её храме, поскольку Гиппокамп планирует скрестить солдат с орнитологами, чтобы создать суперграждан.

Погодная палка

The Weather Stick
Сезон: 02Серия: 15

Описание

Во время сухого сезона Тираннис отвечает на вопросы Брутуса, Мириам и Джошуа о том, когда закончится сухой сезон, заявляя, что им следует пережить его, устроив Сухой фестиваль с поэтическими выступлениями. Столкнувшись с требованиями прекратить сухой сезон, Тираннис рассказывает своей семье о своих требованиях. Шлуб убеждает Тиранниса схитрить, показав погодную палку, которую он получил от жителей Плейса. После того, как грязевой костюм не срабатывает, Тираннис использует погодную палку, чтобы создавать бассейн, который нравится даже детёнышу Харибде, запускать орошение для фермера, обеспечивать ванной комнату для сирот, создавать пруд для парня и поливать кактус женщины. Это продолжается до тех пор, пока погодная палка не перестаёт работать, и жители Плейса во главе с вождём Равди не осаждают Крапополис, желая вернуть погодную палку, которую Шлуб украл у них во время Фестиваля Дружбы. Тем временем Шлуб убеждает Делирию разрешить своим солдатам охладиться в её храме, поскольку Гиппокамп планирует скрестить солдат с орнитологами, чтобы создать суперграждан.

Субтитры

eng__DEFAULT.srt

eng__DEFAULT.srt

00:00:06,346 --> 00:00:08,718

I know dry season has been

hard on all of us.

00:00:08,851 --> 00:00:09,953

When is this

gonna be over?

00:00:10,087 --> 00:00:11,657

I'm tired

of drinking sand.

00:00:11,824 --> 00:00:15,030

My pee stream is like

half of what it used to be.

00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:17,034

I get it.

We all hate dry season.

00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:19,038

But there are benefits.

Dry season drives

00:00:19,138 --> 00:00:21,241

the tickle trolls north,

far away from here.

00:00:21,242 --> 00:00:23,515

What's so bad about the

tickle trolls? They sound fun.

00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,284

Trust me, they gave

themselves that name

00:00:25,384 --> 00:00:27,221

to lure you in.

They are ruthless!

00:00:27,321 --> 00:00:29,225

But we'll get through this,

and as we all know,

00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:31,295

surviving hardship together

is what creates a sense

00:00:31,462 --> 00:00:32,933

of community.

Does it?

00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,639

Yes, sometimes! So,

to help us all get through it,

00:00:35,739 --> 00:00:38,243

I've organized Dry Fest.

We're making it fun,

00:00:38,376 --> 00:00:40,314

like we did

with swarming locust season.

00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:42,318

No one enjoyed

Locust Fest.

00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:43,788

I seem to remember you

00:00:43,888 --> 00:00:45,191

winning

the locust-eating contest.

00:00:45,324 --> 00:00:48,029

They flew

into my mouth when I yawned.

00:00:48,163 --> 00:00:49,298

Are you gonna give

your medal back?

00:00:49,398 --> 00:00:50,935

Let's not go crazy.

00:00:51,036 --> 00:00:52,438

OK, then.

We've got a lot

00:00:52,573 --> 00:00:54,341

of fun dry-season

activities planned.

00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:56,212

Later on, we'll have

a slam poetry contest

00:00:56,346 --> 00:00:58,116

called "What I Hate

About Dry Season!"

00:00:58,216 --> 00:00:59,586

This sucks!

Yeah!

00:00:59,753 --> 00:01:01,455

Man 2: Window dressing at best!

I'm sorry.

00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,260

What do you want me to do?

Fix my melted house!

00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,963

Strengthen my pee stream!

00:01:05,097 --> 00:01:07,167

Can you just

make it less dry?

00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:08,637

Are you seriously

criticizing me

00:01:08,737 --> 00:01:11,075

for the weather now?

Hey, you signed up

00:01:11,076 --> 00:01:13,045

for this when you called

yourself king.

00:01:13,046 --> 00:01:14,549

I see this as more

of a referendum

00:01:14,649 --> 00:01:16,252

on his leadership in general.

00:01:16,352 --> 00:01:18,156

Scott, slam poetry style:

Season's too dry,

00:01:18,256 --> 00:01:20,193

dust in my eye!

Pee stream's light

00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,697

and I blame King Ty!

00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:25,036

It's more of a referendum

on his leadership in general.

00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:27,976

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:29,980

Slam poetry's canceled!

00:01:51,089 --> 00:01:53,393

Whoo!

00:01:55,531 --> 00:01:57,468

It was one thing

when they blamed me

00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:59,138

for the grain shortage.

That's on me

00:01:59,239 --> 00:02:00,740

for storing the grain

in the pig pen.

00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:02,746

And I'll take the hit for

the pig obesity problem, too.

00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:04,648

But the citizens are being

unreasonable here.

00:02:04,649 --> 00:02:07,922

I'd say you've got

yourself a popularity problem.

00:02:08,056 --> 00:02:10,492

I got a problem.

My soldiers keep deserting

00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:13,166

because of the heat,

and the punishment for deserters

00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:14,536

is I gotta club 'em.

00:02:14,636 --> 00:02:16,473

Which wastes my arm

for like a day and a half.

00:02:16,574 --> 00:02:19,144

Isn't there a place

my soldiers could cool off?

00:02:19,278 --> 00:02:20,849

OK, this is one

I can solve.

00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:22,351

Mom, your temple is

nice and cool.

00:02:22,451 --> 00:02:24,154

Could Stupe's soldiers use that

as their barracks?

00:02:24,288 --> 00:02:27,193

Absolutely not!

My temple is for my worshipers.

00:02:27,194 --> 00:02:28,963

Aren't you overstating

the number of worshipers

00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:31,236

you have by making it plural?

For your information,

00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:33,240

I have picked up

a small contingent

00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:35,243

of very dedicated worshipers,

who love

00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:37,114

watching me turn

into various birds.

00:02:37,214 --> 00:02:38,783

Bird watchers?

Yes!

00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,688

Stupe, just convert

your soldiers to Mom worshipers.

00:02:40,789 --> 00:02:43,460

That won't fly.

You know who soldiers worship.

00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,998

I can't say her name.

You can say it.

00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,436

I have no problem

hearing her name.

00:02:48,571 --> 00:02:51,309

Athena.

Never say her name!

00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:53,179

That was a test

and you failed.

00:02:53,313 --> 00:02:55,217

Ty, I'm working

on something that can cool

00:02:55,317 --> 00:02:57,689

everyone down.

It's called air conditioning.

00:02:57,789 --> 00:02:59,425

How does it work?

No idea,

00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,262

I only have the name so far.

Well,

00:03:01,362 --> 00:03:03,298

in the meantime, can you just

make the citizens heartier

00:03:03,299 --> 00:03:05,370

and not such crybabies?

Are we talking

00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:07,809

about... selective breeding?

00:03:07,909 --> 00:03:10,080

Cuz just say the word.

I'll start the program.

00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,517

I'm itching to do it

with humans.

00:03:11,651 --> 00:03:13,286

No!

No selective breeding.

00:03:13,386 --> 00:03:15,357

People should be free

to choose their life partners

00:03:15,457 --> 00:03:17,328

through the tried

and true system

00:03:17,428 --> 00:03:19,165

of arranged marriages

and brides for land.

00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,767

Mom, can we

please use your temple?

00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,605

As long

as no one says that name.

00:03:22,705 --> 00:03:24,208

Great.

I'll get started.

00:03:24,308 --> 00:03:25,978

There's gonna be plenty

of room if we rip out

00:03:26,078 --> 00:03:27,247

a few friezes

and parapets.

00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,651

Don't touch

my parapets!

00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,654

Son, I really hate

to see you so down.

00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:33,226

I think I know what

you need to do.

00:03:33,326 --> 00:03:35,197

Yes, just accept

that there are times

00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,234

in a king's reign when he isn't

universally beloved.

00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:39,238

I was going to say cheat.

Cheat?

00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:41,610

Let me show you

something.

00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:44,182

It's in here somewhere.

What is this stuff?

00:03:44,282 --> 00:03:46,218

I've been alive

for thousands of years.

00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:48,255

I've collected a few

magic items in that time.

00:03:48,256 --> 00:03:50,728

Oh, is this

a genie in a lamp?

00:03:50,828 --> 00:03:53,198

Not quite.

It's an orgy in a lamp.

00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:54,902

Be careful with it.

00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:56,840

Woman, robocall voice:

Good morning, Master.

00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,478

You have one orgy left.

00:03:59,579 --> 00:04:00,948

Nope, false alarm.

00:04:01,048 --> 00:04:02,753

I'm saving you

for a special occasion.

00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,363

Ah, here it is.

00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:10,367

This is a weather stick.

You can control

00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,337

the elements with it.

00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:14,508

Whoa!

Where did you get this?

00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:17,180

I got it from my friends,

the Placeans.

00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:20,020

It's quite flexible

if you know how to use it.

00:04:22,224 --> 00:04:24,261

Now, you and I both know

you have a hard time

00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:26,298

getting people to like you.

Of course.

00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,236

Because I'm an authority figure.

Sure,

00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,240

let's say it's that.

But in my thousands of years

00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:32,645

on this earth, one thing

has always been true:

00:04:32,779 --> 00:04:34,783

everyone loves you

if you have a pool.

00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,753

That is true.

But I'm not going to cheat

00:04:36,854 --> 00:04:40,059

just to get people to love me.

Dry season serves a purpose.

00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:41,530

It drives

the tickle trolls north.

00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,667

Also, surviving hardships

together is what creates

00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,206

a sense of community

is what I'm telling them.

00:04:46,306 --> 00:04:48,243

Suit yourself.

If you'll excuse me,

00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:50,346

it's nap time.

If Daddy doesn't nap,

00:04:50,447 --> 00:04:53,419

Daddy gets cranky.

00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:55,490

Ugh,

this heat is unbearable.

00:04:55,592 --> 00:04:57,427

Look at my bowl.

I've got an algae bloom!

00:04:57,562 --> 00:04:59,532

All right, guys,

this is your new barracks.

00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:00,768

Hang on, hang on.

00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,139

My worshipers expect

an entrance.

00:05:04,943 --> 00:05:06,680

Ooh!

00:05:06,814 --> 00:05:09,653

Worshiper 1: Oh, I know

that one! That's a kingfisher.

00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:12,190

Worshiper 2: Ooh, hooded crow!

Worshiper 1: Red-backed shrike!

00:05:12,191 --> 00:05:14,261

Show the plumage!

Show the plumage!

00:05:14,362 --> 00:05:16,265

Yeah!

00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,168

All hail Deliria!

00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:19,873

Thank you, thank you.

00:05:19,973 --> 00:05:21,275

It was hard.

I'm amazing.

00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,146

Thank you.

Mom, I'm impressed.

00:05:23,246 --> 00:05:24,683

Bird nerds are

highly intelligent

00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:27,021

and socially inept,

which makes them

00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:28,591

even smarter,

in my opinion.

00:05:28,691 --> 00:05:30,227

All right, guys, move in.

00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,464

Be respectful of the losers

if you can.

00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,702

Huh.

Big, buff soldiers.

00:05:34,803 --> 00:05:36,272

Nerdy bird people.

00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:38,309

I can't remember.

Did Ty come out as pro-

00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:39,746

or anti-selective

breeding experiment?

00:05:39,847 --> 00:05:41,750

You remember

things he says?

00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:43,955

If we cross-bred

their intelligence

00:05:44,055 --> 00:05:46,425

with their muscles,

we'd create a super-citizen

00:05:46,426 --> 00:05:48,096

that could fight

and think.

00:05:48,196 --> 00:05:49,867

And also love birds,

I guess.

00:05:49,967 --> 00:05:51,871

Interesting.

Soldiers with lovers

00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:55,009

in the city are soldiers

who don't desert the city.

00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:57,715

And if I had worshipers

who were smart and beefy,

00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,622

guess whose hair I'd be in?

Athena's?

00:06:00,755 --> 00:06:02,324

I told you

to never say it!

00:06:02,457 --> 00:06:04,328

Angry bird exit!

00:06:04,461 --> 00:06:07,000

Majestic.

00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,171

Good citizens.

I think I have something

00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:11,042

that will make dry season

go a lot faster.

00:06:11,175 --> 00:06:13,680

What I'm wearing is called

a mud suit. Very cooling.

00:06:13,681 --> 00:06:15,383

You think we

haven't tried that?

00:06:15,484 --> 00:06:17,488

It dries, and then

you're just dirty.

00:06:17,622 --> 00:06:20,060

Come on, King Ty!

We want action!

00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:26,205

Who wants a pool?

00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:32,818

Cannonball!

Ooh!

00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:36,492

My leg's a little

broken, I think.

00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:39,999

I'll be damned.

00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,736

The old Mantitaur was right.

00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:43,639

The whole city is in the pool.

00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,176

Even Baby Charybdis

is here.

00:06:45,276 --> 00:06:47,180

Baby Charybdis: Hey, Ty!

Great pool!

00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,151

Hell yeah!

I love this pool!

00:06:49,251 --> 00:06:50,588

Baby Charybdis: Aw!

00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:52,592

Hail Tyrannis!

Hero of dry season!

00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,630

Oh, you guys.

00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:56,399

I just want everyone

to have fun.

00:06:56,534 --> 00:06:58,402

Ah, Dad!

I see you're having fun

00:06:58,503 --> 00:07:00,407

with the weather stick.

Glad you've come around.

00:07:00,508 --> 00:07:02,746

Just remember: a little

does go a long way.

00:07:02,846 --> 00:07:05,050

Right, yeah, sure.

I do say this

00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,786

as an expert in indulgence.

00:07:06,953 --> 00:07:08,757

Indulgence, yes!

What's this now?

00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:11,296

Uh, your grace?

Fantastic job with the pool.

00:07:11,429 --> 00:07:13,065

No need

to thank me for the pool.

00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,738

Seeing my citizens refreshed

and grateful is enough.

00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:18,811

One little thing.

My cows are dying of thirst.

00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:21,115

They're like my family.

Who I milk.

00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,688

Oh, right. Well, I

wouldn't be "the people's king"

00:07:23,821 --> 00:07:25,992

if I didn't help out

your cow fam.

00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:27,394

What do you say

00:07:27,529 --> 00:07:30,200

to a world-class

irrigation system?

00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,371

I can't thank you enough!

00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:34,341

Please, take one

of my cow daughters.

00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:36,379

Do whatever with it!

Oh, that's OK.

00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:38,584

Go on.

I'm not having sex

00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,020

with a cow!

Huh?

00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:42,290

What? Oh!

Is that what you thought

00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:43,761

I was offering?

No, no, no,

00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:45,598

of course not.

Sex, with a cow? Who would--

00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:48,571

No, I was just mentioning,

uh, that--in fact,

00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,808

you know what?

I will take one of those cows.

00:07:50,941 --> 00:07:53,312

I don't think so.

Right. Fair enough.

00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:55,785

OK, company!

Time for mess!

00:07:55,885 --> 00:07:57,955

Seating

arrangements are mandatory!

00:07:58,055 --> 00:07:59,760

I don't expect them

to mate right away.

00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:02,230

As a male scientist,

I estimate 10 to 15 minutes

00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:05,203

of light conversation before

intercourse. Let's observe.

00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:07,942

Soldier 2: So you just believe

everything you see on urns?

00:08:08,042 --> 00:08:09,979

Worshiper 2: You think what,

the whole thing was faked?

00:08:10,079 --> 00:08:11,950

She didn't kill her kids?

Soldier 2: You're the one

00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,589

listening to mainstream Medea!

Yikes.

00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:16,792

Let's try another table.

Soldier 3: I saw my best friend

00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,563

slaughtered at

the Battle of Thebes.

00:08:18,663 --> 00:08:20,902

He was standing as close

to me as you are right now.

00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:23,406

We were only boys.

Worshiper 1: Uhh...

00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:25,945

are you gonna ask me

anything about me?

00:08:26,078 --> 00:08:28,216

Maybe this is gonna

be harder than we thought.

00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:30,386

Ahem! Ahem!

Please note

00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,023

that persons having

active leprosy,

00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:34,729

or who have had leprosy

within the previous 14 days,

00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,867

shall not be allowed

to enter the pool.

00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,472

Aw!

My beloved king?

00:08:39,573 --> 00:08:41,242

We heard you're giving

away water

00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:42,745

and, well, we'd love some

00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:45,784

for Krapopolis' orphanage.

To bathe them and such.

00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:48,154

You had me

at "my beloved king!"

00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,031

Shine up those motherless

boys and girls!

00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:54,267

Oh, we use the girls

for kindling,

00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,372

to heat the boys' baths.

Thanks!

00:08:56,507 --> 00:08:57,876

Long live King Ty!

00:08:58,009 --> 00:09:00,615

King Ty? If you don't mind.

Thank you.

00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:02,985

I was starting to think

about what that woman just said.

00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:06,559

She wasn't saying

that they burn the girls

00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,797

for kindling, was she?

00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:10,802

I've heard you're

giving out water.

00:09:10,902 --> 00:09:12,572

Yes, thank you!

Thank you again.

00:09:12,672 --> 00:09:14,843

Ooh, please, go ahead.

I've kinda been debating

00:09:14,977 --> 00:09:16,780

adding a little pond

to my property,

00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:18,917

maybe putting some fish in it?

Say no more.

00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:21,355

Will this do?

00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,764

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I mean, yeah,

00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:27,836

but I want to reiterate

that I'm still

00:09:27,936 --> 00:09:29,938

in the "waffling" phase here.

00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,912

I guess, if I decide

against the fish pond,

00:09:33,045 --> 00:09:34,916

I'll just dump this water

into a gulch.

00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,653

Long as you're happy!

Who's next?

00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:38,691

Well, hello, How can I help?

00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:40,561

Well,

I have this cactus.

00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:42,197

The soil feels

pretty moist, but--

00:09:42,297 --> 00:09:44,936

Better safe

than succulent-less!

00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:46,873

Oh. Hmm.

00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:50,647

That's weird.

Let me just...

00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:54,321

I'm not normally

00:09:54,421 --> 00:09:56,693

into someone with

your leg shape, but would you

00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,196

ever want to "hang out"?

Absolutely.

00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:01,335

Maybe you'd like to see

the city's famous fountain show.

00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:04,742

You have a fountain show?

We're about to!

00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:07,414

Nothing like a

little game to get things going.

00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,485

Worshiper 1:

OK, this is a tough one.

00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,422

What... uh... I--hmm.

00:10:11,557 --> 00:10:13,025

I don't know.

00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:15,898

Soldier 3: Odobenus the Great?

How did we not get that?

00:10:15,998 --> 00:10:17,769

Worshiper 1: Am I supposed

to know who that is?

00:10:17,869 --> 00:10:19,740

Soldier 3: He's the jolly

walrus-man hybrid

00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,776

who forges our armor!

You could have given

00:10:21,777 --> 00:10:24,515

so many clue words!

Walrus! Man! Forge!

00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:27,688

Knowing smile! Likes to rape!

I don't get it.

00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:29,424

This icebreaker

always works with mice.

00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:31,429

I don't think

smart people and people who can

00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,834

do a one-handed pull-up

are meant to talk to each other.

00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,406

How are

my super-soldiers coming along?

00:10:36,507 --> 00:10:37,842

Not great yet.

00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:39,813

What an incredible surprise.

00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,017

Who would have guessed,

when the soldiers can see all

00:10:42,117 --> 00:10:44,021

the worshipers' veins,

and the worshipers can smell

00:10:44,155 --> 00:10:46,793

all the soldiers'...

well, all the soldiers.

00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,931

Here.

00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:50,534

Hey!

00:10:50,635 --> 00:10:54,074

We're trying to create lasting

emotional connections here!

00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,245

Worshiper 3: Hi, I'm Katie.

My friends are annoying.

00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:58,482

Can I hang with you?

Stand down, Hippo.

00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,019

But--come on!

I was just--

00:11:00,152 --> 00:11:01,923

Worshiper 4: Hey, do you want

to hear me talk about

00:11:02,023 --> 00:11:04,829

the Sardinian warbler

for a really long time?

00:11:04,929 --> 00:11:06,767

Do I!

Worshiper 4: So, starting

00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,737

with the plumage...

00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:14,649

Isn't instant

gratification

00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:16,686

just so incredibly

gratifying?

00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:18,757

I don't know why

it took me so long.

00:11:18,857 --> 00:11:20,594

Hey, Ty-bone!

Great pool.

00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:22,264

People are

giving me nicknames!

00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:23,600

You mean

new nicknames.

00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,069

What was

my previous nickname?

00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:26,807

Ha ha! We don't have

to get into that.

00:11:26,907 --> 00:11:28,510

See, before,

they felt they couldn't get

00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,179

too close to me.

They were too concerned

00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:32,851

about the decorum between

a king and his subjects.

00:11:32,951 --> 00:11:34,287

Let's say

that's it, yes.

00:11:34,387 --> 00:11:36,392

But now, look at this.

Miriam, up top.

00:11:36,492 --> 00:11:38,195

Looking good, Not-Dork.

00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:39,898

Hey, can you wet down

my sandals?

00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,505

They just look better

with a little sheen.

00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,175

Sure thing.

00:11:44,308 --> 00:11:46,212

Son, might you be

overdoing it a little?

00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:48,115

Whaaat?

Now who's the uptight one?

00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,787

Grab yourself a Ty Colada and

start your next nap right there.

00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:52,792

Hey, you guys want

to see my pee stream?

00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:55,396

Oh, Joshua, we really

don't need to see that--

00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,267

That is quite robust.

00:11:57,367 --> 00:12:00,173

OK, this is crazy.

00:12:00,273 --> 00:12:02,712

Some of the soldiers

who deserted heard about this

00:12:02,812 --> 00:12:04,481

and came back,

with more soldiers!

00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:06,886

And everyone's humping!

Something about

00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:09,324

the music and the darkness

and the alcohol.

00:12:09,325 --> 00:12:11,127

We've created an atmosphere

00:12:11,128 --> 00:12:13,266

of artificial sexual arousal!

00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:16,272

No one can hear

anything anyone is saying!

00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:18,710

And they're loving it!

00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:21,081

I'm gonna live forever!

00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:24,821

It's a feeling I'm having

right now due to the intensity

00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:27,393

of the atmosphere!

What?

00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:29,030

Oh, hey, Kolax,

there's probably gonna be

00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,035

a lot of citizens who want

to talk to me today.

00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,072

Oh, no doubt, boss.

I'll keep 'em away.

00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:35,476

No one gets close.

That's the rule, right?

00:12:35,611 --> 00:12:36,913

No, no,

that's the thing.

00:12:37,013 --> 00:12:38,416

Ordinarily I would need

protection,

00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:40,152

but I want to mingle with

the citizens now.

00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:41,824

I can't let you.

It's too risky.

00:12:41,924 --> 00:12:43,727

We're living

in a new era, Kolax.

00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,798

One where people like

their king.

00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,534

I'm parched.

Anyone want water?

00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:51,108

Yesterday I got this thing

to do both flat and bubbly.

00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,444

Ahem.

00:12:52,578 --> 00:12:54,982

Damn. What is wrong

with this thing?

00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:56,418

I've never seen it

do that before.

00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,757

You may have overused it.

Overused it?

00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,159

You can't overuse it.

00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,163

Can you overuse it?

I don't know.

00:13:02,263 --> 00:13:03,901

Well,

how do you fix it?

00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:05,604

I don't know that, either.

00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:07,073

I've never been

in this situation before.

00:13:07,173 --> 00:13:08,810

Well, we've got

to get it working.

00:13:08,811 --> 00:13:10,313

I'm in a really good place

right now.

00:13:10,447 --> 00:13:11,950

I've got citizens loving me,

cows winking at me.

00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,419

I need to keep this going.

King,

00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,791

we've got a problem.

The Placeans are here.

00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:17,226

Oh, your friends

who gave us the stick.

00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:18,763

Maybe they can fix it.

Yeah, no.

00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,332

They're attacking.

Attacking?

00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:24,473

Chief Ravdi: I am Chief Ravdi,

of the Placean people!

00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:25,844

Ravdi, old friend!

00:13:25,978 --> 00:13:27,815

Chief Ravdi:

Don't "old friend" me, Shlub!

00:13:27,948 --> 00:13:30,854

You stole our weather stick!

You stole it?!

00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:33,025

Chief Ravdi: Open your gates

or your whole city

00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:35,430

will pay the price!

Should we open the gates?

00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,267

It doesn't really seem

like that's the best course

00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:39,036

of action, Scott, now, does it?!

I don't know!

00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:40,641

I just work here!

Dad, fill me in.

00:13:40,741 --> 00:13:43,045

What have you not told me?

Ravdi's a good fellow.

00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:45,884

This has to be

a simple misunderstanding.

00:13:45,885 --> 00:13:48,055

Chief Ravdi: Fire!

00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:52,965

Maybe a misunderstanding

on my part. Ha ha!

00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:56,137

There's no need

for violence!

00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,307

I'm sure this is all

just a silly mix-up.

00:13:58,308 --> 00:14:00,213

Can we say that? Can we pretend

that's what it is?

00:14:00,313 --> 00:14:02,919

Chief Ravdi: The silly mix-up

was me allowing this thief

00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:05,357

to participate

in our Friendship Festival!

00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:08,295

Did those trust falls

mean nothing to you?

00:14:08,296 --> 00:14:09,999

Dad, you told me

you got the weather stick

00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,535

from your friends.

They are my friends,

00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:13,238

and I did get it.

But he's saying

00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:15,443

you stole it!

Stealing is a--hmm,

00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,882

it's a kind of getting,

but I didn't steal anything.

00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,353

I simply abided by the rules

of finders keepers.

00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:22,223

Finders keepers?

Yes, if you find

00:14:22,323 --> 00:14:24,963

something--here's the best bit--

you get to keep it.

00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:26,967

I guess when I said they

gave it to me, I meant

00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,071

they gave it to me

in a holistic sense,

00:14:29,171 --> 00:14:31,175

by leaving it somewhere

where I could find it.

00:14:31,341 --> 00:14:33,613

Mm! Look, my dad

is a silly old man,

00:14:33,714 --> 00:14:35,617

and I promise

we can make this right.

00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:37,387

Chief Ravdi: Lightning!

Ow!

00:14:37,487 --> 00:14:38,890

You have

other sticks?

00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:40,460

Chief Ravdi: You better believe

we have other sticks!

00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:42,430

They're a stick-based

culture, which is why

00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:45,103

they shouldn't mind losing one.

Chief Ravdi: Biting flies!

00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,073

Ow! Ow! Damn you!

00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:48,544

Please, I see

that we made a mistake,

00:14:48,644 --> 00:14:50,781

and I'd love to make this right.

Why don't you stay

00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:53,018

and enjoy our many waterfalls

and lazy rivers?

00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:54,454

Chief Ravdi:

You don't get it!

00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,225

Or perhaps you'd

like to experience

00:14:56,325 --> 00:14:57,895

our world-famous

slip-then-slide?

00:14:57,996 --> 00:14:59,364

It turns accidents

into fun-ccidents.

00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,100

If we just get this thing

working again,

00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,540

I promise there's

enough water for everyone.

00:15:03,706 --> 00:15:05,042

Chief Ravdi:

Only there isn't!

00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:06,746

The weather stick

doesn't make water.

00:15:06,846 --> 00:15:08,783

It simply moves it

from place to place.

00:15:08,883 --> 00:15:11,556

So not only did you

steal our stick,

00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:13,292

you stole our lifeblood.

00:15:13,392 --> 00:15:16,499

Our livestock.

Our live... crops.

00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,005

Our vegetables!

Everything!

00:15:20,841 --> 00:15:22,177

Hello.

00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:24,214

Did you know about this?

Who's to say?

00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,151

I've heard a lot of things

over the years.

00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:29,158

They don't always stay with me.

Besides, I just gave you access

00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:31,162

to the stick, I didn't tell you

to drain the world!

00:15:31,295 --> 00:15:34,400

Chief Ravdi: Dust in your eyes!

Ow! Stop it!

00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:36,304

Chief Ravdi,

we needed water.

00:15:36,404 --> 00:15:38,476

My father saw that I was

in need, and while he should not

00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,747

have taken your weather stick

in the first place,

00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:42,752

surely you see

that he was simply trying

00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:44,755

to help out his son

in an emergency.

00:15:44,889 --> 00:15:46,458

Chief Ravdi:

It was no emergency!

00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,362

You're running a sexy

chariot wash!

00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:50,232

OK,

00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:52,237

it did get a little out of hand.

Chief Ravdi: Sunburn!

00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,107

Ow! If using

the water stick meant we were

00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:56,145

taking water from someplace

else, aren't you giving me

00:15:56,278 --> 00:15:58,115

somebody else's sunburn?

Chief Ravdi: Somehow,

00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,319

I don't think they're going

to complain! Sleet!

00:16:00,453 --> 00:16:02,858

Ah! How many sticks

do you guys have?

00:16:02,958 --> 00:16:04,662

Chief Ravdi: Lots!

What do I have

00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:06,098

to do to make it right?

00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,568

Chief Ravdi:

Give us the water back.

00:16:07,702 --> 00:16:09,437

All of it?

Chief Ravdi: Yes, all of it!

00:16:09,538 --> 00:16:11,743

OK, just let me think.

Ahem. Dad, you know these guys.

00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:13,244

What kind of damage

can they do?

00:16:13,245 --> 00:16:14,949

Just kind of this

relatively topical stuff?

00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:16,418

I don't know.

I'm not a stick man.

00:16:16,552 --> 00:16:18,188

I'm more of

a finders-keepers man.

00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:19,792

Of course

you don't know.

00:16:19,892 --> 00:16:22,497

It seems like the worst they can

do right now is biting flies.

00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:25,538

I'll just take my chances.

00:16:27,006 --> 00:16:29,177

Ravdi, you old bastard,

00:16:29,277 --> 00:16:32,183

you've built a bigger stick,

haven't you?

00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,187

This is probably

a stupid question,

00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,224

but where the hell are

Mom and the army?!

00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:38,563

It's still so hot.

And there's no moisture

00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:41,435

left in my body.

Gimme some of your helmet water.

00:16:41,536 --> 00:16:43,338

Get off!

I'm already flaking!

00:16:43,472 --> 00:16:45,511

Soldier 4: That was great.

Soldier 2: Yeah, last night,

00:16:45,611 --> 00:16:48,315

I drank wine till I was

disoriented and unable

00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,554

to perform sexually.

I feel ill today.

00:16:50,654 --> 00:16:52,592

Let's do it again tonight!

Weren't you one

00:16:52,692 --> 00:16:54,895

of the deserters trying

to leave Krapopolis?

00:16:55,029 --> 00:16:56,464

Soldier 4: Yeah.

Changed my mind, I guess.

00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,238

Turns out if I drink enough

and dance around at night,

00:16:59,338 --> 00:17:02,175

I forget my life

during the day is miserable.

00:17:02,176 --> 00:17:04,481

So people will stay

in the most disgusting,

00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,220

awful city if it has some kind

of "night life."

00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:09,224

We need a name

for this principle.

00:17:09,358 --> 00:17:11,228

Oh! What'd you say

your name was?

00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:13,065

Soldier 4: Miami.

Ehh...

00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:14,836

Technically I should

beat these deserters.

00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:18,042

But maybe letting them have fun

is better than clubbing them?

00:17:18,142 --> 00:17:20,514

That's what we

call it: "deserting"!

00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:23,485

No! "Clubbing."

Hey, Mom. You're up.

00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,624

Anybody pregnant in there?

I don't think so.

00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:28,630

Most of your troops had

too much wine to raise the flag,

00:17:28,763 --> 00:17:31,367

if you know what I mean.

Ohh, right.

00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:34,339

I think I know what you mean.

Well, it didn't help that

00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:37,380

your worshipers spent half the

night in the bathroom crying.

00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,384

Katie was going

through some stuff.

00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:41,154

You know, I think

we should do this again.

00:17:41,255 --> 00:17:42,992

Or at least, roughly

every seven days.

00:17:43,092 --> 00:17:45,430

We can call it

"Septimal Night Veneration."

00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,167

We're already

calling it "clubbing."

00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,937

Well, we'll see

what catches on first.

00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:51,174

So that's probably

some sort of doomsday stick,

00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:53,145

right?

I had no idea they have

00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,682

this kind of power.

I should have known

00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,552

there would be

crazy consequences if I used

00:17:56,686 --> 00:17:58,590

something from your magic box.

Yes, you should have,

00:17:58,690 --> 00:18:00,728

and I did warn you.

We have two options.

00:18:00,828 --> 00:18:03,332

Option one is we all die.

Option two is I give them back

00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:05,302

their water,

and people don't like me.

00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:07,007

I think it should be

fairly obvious, son.

00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:08,677

Yeah, easy for you to say.

00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,613

People have always liked you.

But now the Placeans are going

00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:13,218

to do whatever that stick does,

and the tickle trolls aren't

00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:15,256

even here, so I'm starting

to think they were just

00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:17,260

something you and Mom made up

to mess with me!

00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,930

Well, that's on you

for being thirty

00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,801

and still believing

in tickle trolls.

00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,773

But I believe I owe you

an apology.

00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:26,278

Any more to that?

00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:28,015

Oh, I haven't

done this in a while.

00:18:28,115 --> 00:18:30,887

I thought that would be enough.

What's called for, specifics?

00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:32,958

You're actually asking? Yes!

00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:34,528

All right, all right.

Um...

00:18:34,628 --> 00:18:37,568

I just hated seeing you being

unhappy and unliked, son.

00:18:37,668 --> 00:18:40,574

But as your dad,

I should get used to that.

00:18:40,674 --> 00:18:43,345

No? More? Is that enough?

It'll do.

00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:45,651

And, as a leader,

in the future, I should resist

00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:47,654

overpromising

and immediate gratification.

00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:49,892

True leadership lies

in under-promising,

00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:51,663

overdelivering,

and slow progress.

00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,699

Ha!

It's a whole back and forth!

00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,102

We're both apologizing!

00:18:55,236 --> 00:18:57,207

What fun we're having!

Ah, ha ha ha ha!

00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,213

Yes. You know,

we have done this before.

00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:03,251

Well, son, even if

this whole town turns on you--

00:19:03,252 --> 00:19:05,223

and they will--

I'll still love you.

00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:07,225

Thanks, Dad.

I guess no matter what,

00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:08,997

they will never be satisfied,

and that's something

00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:10,466

I have to be OK with

as king.

00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,772

I think I know what I

have to do.

00:19:12,905 --> 00:19:15,243

Everybody out of the pool.

Swim time is over.

00:19:15,343 --> 00:19:16,879

Boo!

00:19:17,013 --> 00:19:19,685

I'm not getting out

till my toes are all wrinkly!

00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,656

This water

you're all enjoying,

00:19:21,756 --> 00:19:23,425

and that's making you all

love me, was stolen.

00:19:23,526 --> 00:19:25,096

So I'm afraid it

must be returned.

00:19:25,229 --> 00:19:27,166

Boo!

Yes,

00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,537

you can hate me if you want.

We do!

00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:32,544

And I accept that.

00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:35,550

Or I will someday.

00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,100

Oof. Oww!

00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,771

Huh?

00:19:45,871 --> 00:19:47,575

Oh!

00:19:47,675 --> 00:19:49,645

Man 2: Oh--oof!

00:19:51,749 --> 00:19:53,653

There you go.

Chief Ravdi: And the stick?

00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:56,224

What? I can't sneak

anything past you guys.

00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,195

Are we good now?

Chief Ravdi: We're good.

00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:02,538

Now you know never to mess

with the Placeans.

00:20:02,705 --> 00:20:04,241

Ha ha ha ha! Man!

00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:07,648

That huge decoy stick

works every time.

00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,652

Well,

now that everyone hates me,

00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:12,356

I might as well drown

my sorrows in an orgy.

00:20:12,456 --> 00:20:14,059

No, no.

I have something else

00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:16,498

in my magic box for you.

It's a hug.

00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,134

But what about

the orgy lamp?

00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:21,407

Haven't you learned

anything? That's just for me.

00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:26,986

Tickle troll leader: Ah,

another delicious meal

00:20:27,086 --> 00:20:28,355

under another perfect moon.

00:20:28,455 --> 00:20:31,562

A tickle troll giggle

for this beautiful day!

00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,771

What's this?

What's happening?

00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:38,040

Tickle troll shaman:

I knew this day would come.

00:20:38,041 --> 00:20:39,745

It is prophesied.

00:20:39,845 --> 00:20:43,018

For millennia, we tickle trolls

lived in harmony with humans.

00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:44,755

We visited them

in their sleep,

00:20:44,855 --> 00:20:47,493

and they rewarded us

with their delicious laughter.

00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,701

Heh! But then, parents started

using us as a threat.

00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,704

"Beware the tickle trolls,"

they said.

00:20:52,804 --> 00:20:55,242

"Their name is

a fake-out," they said.

00:20:55,342 --> 00:20:58,082

"Brush your teeth or

the tickle trolls will get you!"

00:20:58,182 --> 00:21:01,087

"Don't wet your bed or the

tickle trolls will get you."

00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:03,660

Heh! No longer did the children

bless us with their laughter.

00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,264

They screamed

at the sight of us!

00:21:06,364 --> 00:21:08,035

So we stopped tickling them.

00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:09,738

Generations of kids grew up

00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:11,207

never even seeing us!

00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:13,010

They believed

they had been tricked.

00:21:13,011 --> 00:21:16,385

And just as foretold

by our sacred oral tradition,

00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:19,123

when the last little boy

stopped believing in us,

00:21:19,223 --> 00:21:21,563

we would disappear.

00:21:21,663 --> 00:21:23,567

Tickle troll leader: Wait.

You knew this day

00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,736

would come,

but you never told us?

00:21:25,737 --> 00:21:27,440

Tickle troll shaman:

It never came up.

00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:30,781

Tickle troll:

We have an oral tradition?

00:21:30,981 --> 00:21:32,684

Did you get any

of that?

00:21:34,722 --> 00:21:36,424

Bento.

eng__SDH.srt

eng__SDH.srt

00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:06,246

Tyrannis: Thank you all

for coming out.

00:00:06,346 --> 00:00:08,718

I know dry season has been

hard on all of us.

00:00:08,851 --> 00:00:09,953

Brutus: When is this

gonna be over?

00:00:10,087 --> 00:00:11,657

Miriam: I'm tired

of drinking sand.

00:00:11,824 --> 00:00:15,030

Joshua: My pee stream is like

half of what it used to be.

00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:17,034

Tyrannis: I get it.

We all hate dry season.

00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:19,038

But there are benefits.

Dry season drives

00:00:19,138 --> 00:00:21,241

the tickle trolls north,

far away from here.

00:00:21,242 --> 00:00:23,515

Brutus: What's so bad about the

tickle trolls? They sound fun.

00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,284

Tyrannis: Trust me, they gave

themselves that name

00:00:25,384 --> 00:00:27,221

to lure you in.

They are ruthless!

00:00:27,321 --> 00:00:29,225

But we'll get through this,

and as we all know,

00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:31,295

surviving hardship together

is what creates a sense

00:00:31,462 --> 00:00:32,933

of community.

Brutus: Does it?

00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,639

Tyrannis: Yes, sometimes! So,

to help us all get through it,

00:00:35,739 --> 00:00:38,243

I've organized Dry Fest.

We're making it fun,

00:00:38,376 --> 00:00:40,314

like we did

with swarming locust season.

00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:42,318

Joshua: No one enjoyed

Locust Fest.

00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:43,788

Tyrannis:

I seem to remember you

00:00:43,888 --> 00:00:45,191

winning

the locust-eating contest.

00:00:45,324 --> 00:00:48,029

Joshua: They flew

into my mouth when I yawned.

00:00:48,163 --> 00:00:49,298

Tyrannis: Are you gonna give

your medal back?

00:00:49,398 --> 00:00:50,935

Joshua:

Let's not go crazy.

00:00:51,036 --> 00:00:52,438

Tyrannis: OK, then.

We've got a lot

00:00:52,573 --> 00:00:54,341

of fun dry-season

activities planned.

00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:56,212

Later on, we'll have

a slam poetry contest

00:00:56,346 --> 00:00:58,116

called "What I Hate

About Dry Season!"

00:00:58,216 --> 00:00:59,586

Woman: This sucks!

Man: Yeah!

00:00:59,753 --> 00:01:01,455

Man 2: Window dressing at best!

Tyrannis: I'm sorry.

00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,260

What do you want me to do?

Brutus: Fix my melted house!

00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,963

Joshua:

Strengthen my pee stream!

00:01:05,097 --> 00:01:07,167

Miriam: Can you just

make it less dry?

00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:08,637

Tyrannis: Are you seriously

criticizing me

00:01:08,737 --> 00:01:11,075

for the weather now?

Miriam: Hey, you signed up

00:01:11,076 --> 00:01:13,045

for this when you called

yourself king.

00:01:13,046 --> 00:01:14,549

Brutus: I see this as more

of a referendum

00:01:14,649 --> 00:01:16,252

on his leadership in general.

[Citizens shout]

00:01:16,352 --> 00:01:18,156

Scott, slam poetry style:

Season's too dry,

00:01:18,256 --> 00:01:20,193

dust in my eye!

Pee stream's light

00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,697

and I blame King Ty!

00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:25,036

It's more of a referendum

on his leadership in general.

00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:27,976

Woman: Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:29,980

Tyrannis:

Slam poetry's canceled!

00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,317

[Theme music playing]

00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:41,035

00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,306

[Male singers chanting]

00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:50,989

00:01:51,089 --> 00:01:53,393

Singers: Whoo!

00:01:55,531 --> 00:01:57,468

Tyrannis: It was one thing

when they blamed me

00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:59,138

for the grain shortage.

That's on me

00:01:59,239 --> 00:02:00,740

for storing the grain

in the pig pen.

00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:02,746

And I'll take the hit for

the pig obesity problem, too.

00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:04,648

But the citizens are being

unreasonable here.

00:02:04,649 --> 00:02:07,922

Shlub: I'd say you've got

yourself a popularity problem.

00:02:08,056 --> 00:02:10,492

Stupendous: I got a problem.

My soldiers keep deserting

00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:13,166

because of the heat,

and the punishment for deserters

00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:14,536

is I gotta club 'em.

00:02:14,636 --> 00:02:16,473

Which wastes my arm

for like a day and a half.

00:02:16,574 --> 00:02:19,144

Isn't there a place

my soldiers could cool off?

00:02:19,278 --> 00:02:20,849

Tyrannis: OK, this is one

I can solve.

00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:22,351

Mom, your temple is

nice and cool.

00:02:22,451 --> 00:02:24,154

Could Stupe's soldiers use that

as their barracks?

00:02:24,288 --> 00:02:27,193

Deliria: Absolutely not!

My temple is for my worshipers.

00:02:27,194 --> 00:02:28,963

Tyrannis: Aren't you overstating

the number of worshipers

00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:31,236

you have by making it plural?

Deliria: For your information,

00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:33,240

I have picked up

a small contingent

00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:35,243

of very dedicated worshipers,

who love

00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:37,114

watching me turn

into various birds.

00:02:37,214 --> 00:02:38,783

Hippocampus: Bird watchers?

Deliria: Yes!

00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,688

Tyrannis: Stupe, just convert

your soldiers to Mom worshipers.

00:02:40,789 --> 00:02:43,460

Stupendous: That won't fly.

You know who soldiers worship.

00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,998

I can't say her name.

Deliria: You can say it.

00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,436

I have no problem

hearing her name.

00:02:48,571 --> 00:02:51,309

Stupendous: Athena.

Deliria: Never say her name!

00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:53,179

That was a test

and you failed.

00:02:53,313 --> 00:02:55,217

Hippocampus: Ty, I'm working

on something that can cool

00:02:55,317 --> 00:02:57,689

everyone down.

It's called air conditioning.

00:02:57,789 --> 00:02:59,425

Tyrannis: How does it work?

Hippocampus: No idea,

00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,262

I only have the name so far.

Tyrannis: Well,

00:03:01,362 --> 00:03:03,298

in the meantime, can you just

make the citizens heartier

00:03:03,299 --> 00:03:05,370

and not such crybabies?

Hippocampus: Are we talking

00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:07,809

about... selective breeding?

00:03:07,909 --> 00:03:10,080

Cuz just say the word.

I'll start the program.

00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,517

I'm itching to do it

with humans.

00:03:11,651 --> 00:03:13,286

Tyrannis: No!

No selective breeding.

00:03:13,386 --> 00:03:15,357

People should be free

to choose their life partners

00:03:15,457 --> 00:03:17,328

through the tried

and true system

00:03:17,428 --> 00:03:19,165

of arranged marriages

and brides for land.

00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,767

Stupendous: Mom, can we

please use your temple?

00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,605

Deliria: As long

as no one says that name.

00:03:22,705 --> 00:03:24,208

Stupendous: Great.

I'll get started.

00:03:24,308 --> 00:03:25,978

There's gonna be plenty

of room if we rip out

00:03:26,078 --> 00:03:27,247

a few friezes

and parapets.

00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,651

Deliria: Don't touch

my parapets!

00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,654

Shlub: Son, I really hate

to see you so down.

00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:33,226

I think I know what

you need to do.

00:03:33,326 --> 00:03:35,197

Tyrannis: Yes, just accept

that there are times

00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,234

in a king's reign when he isn't

universally beloved.

00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:39,238

Shlub: I was going to say cheat.

Tyrannis: Cheat?

00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:41,610

Shlub: Let me show you

something.

00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:44,182

It's in here somewhere.

Tyrannis: What is this stuff?

00:03:44,282 --> 00:03:46,218

Shlub: I've been alive

for thousands of years.

00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:48,255

I've collected a few

magic items in that time.

00:03:48,256 --> 00:03:50,728

Tyrannis: Oh, is this

a genie in a lamp?

00:03:50,828 --> 00:03:53,198

Shlub: Not quite.

It's an orgy in a lamp.

00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:54,902

Be careful with it.

00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:56,840

Woman, robocall voice:

Good morning, Master.

00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,478

You have one orgy left.

00:03:59,579 --> 00:04:00,948

Shlub: Nope, false alarm.

00:04:01,048 --> 00:04:02,753

I'm saving you

for a special occasion.

00:04:02,853 --> 00:04:04,989

[Lamp squeaks]

00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,363

Ah, here it is.

00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:10,367

This is a weather stick.

You can control

00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,337

the elements with it.

[Whooshing]

00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:14,508

Tyrannis: Whoa!

Where did you get this?

00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:17,180

Shlub: I got it from my friends,

the Placeans.

00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:20,020

It's quite flexible

if you know how to use it.

00:04:20,153 --> 00:04:22,124

[Thunder]

00:04:22,224 --> 00:04:24,261

Now, you and I both know

you have a hard time

00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:26,298

getting people to like you.

Tyrannis: Of course.

00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,236

Because I'm an authority figure.

Shlub: Sure,

00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,240

let's say it's that.

But in my thousands of years

00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:32,645

on this earth, one thing

has always been true:

00:04:32,779 --> 00:04:34,783

everyone loves you

if you have a pool.

00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,753

Tyrannis: That is true.

But I'm not going to cheat

00:04:36,854 --> 00:04:40,059

just to get people to love me.

Dry season serves a purpose.

00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:41,530

It drives

the tickle trolls north.

00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,667

Also, surviving hardships

together is what creates

00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,206

a sense of community

is what I'm telling them.

00:04:46,306 --> 00:04:48,243

Shlub: Suit yourself.

If you'll excuse me,

00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:50,346

it's nap time.

If Daddy doesn't nap,

00:04:50,447 --> 00:04:53,419

Daddy gets cranky.

00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:55,490

Hippocampus: Ugh,

this heat is unbearable.

00:04:55,592 --> 00:04:57,427

Look at my bowl.

I've got an algae bloom!

00:04:57,562 --> 00:04:59,532

Stupendous: All right, guys,

this is your new barracks.

00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:00,768

Deliria:

Hang on, hang on.

00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,139

My worshipers expect

an entrance.

00:05:03,273 --> 00:05:04,843

[Bird shrieks]

00:05:04,943 --> 00:05:06,680

Worshipers: Ooh!

00:05:06,814 --> 00:05:09,653

Worshiper 1: Oh, I know

that one! That's a kingfisher.

00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:12,190

Worshiper 2: Ooh, hooded crow!

Worshiper 1: Red-backed shrike!

00:05:12,191 --> 00:05:14,261

Show the plumage!

Show the plumage!

00:05:14,362 --> 00:05:16,265

Worshipers: Yeah!

00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,168

All hail Deliria!

00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:19,873

Deliria:

Thank you, thank you.

00:05:19,973 --> 00:05:21,275

It was hard.

I'm amazing.

00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,146

Thank you.

Hippocampus: Mom, I'm impressed.

00:05:23,246 --> 00:05:24,683

Bird nerds are

highly intelligent

00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:27,021

and socially inept,

which makes them

00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:28,591

even smarter,

in my opinion.

00:05:28,691 --> 00:05:30,227

Stupendous:

All right, guys, move in.

00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,464

Be respectful of the losers

if you can.

00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,702

Hippocampus: Huh.

Big, buff soldiers.

00:05:34,803 --> 00:05:36,272

Nerdy bird people.

00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:38,309

I can't remember.

Did Ty come out as pro-

00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:39,746

or anti-selective

breeding experiment?

00:05:39,847 --> 00:05:41,750

Deliria: You remember

things he says?

00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:43,955

Hippocampus: If we cross-bred

their intelligence

00:05:44,055 --> 00:05:46,425

with their muscles,

we'd create a super-citizen

00:05:46,426 --> 00:05:48,096

that could fight

and think.

00:05:48,196 --> 00:05:49,867

And also love birds,

I guess.

00:05:49,967 --> 00:05:51,871

Stupendous: Interesting.

Soldiers with lovers

00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:55,009

in the city are soldiers

who don't desert the city.

00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:57,715

Deliria: And if I had worshipers

who were smart and beefy,

00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,622

guess whose hair I'd be in?

Stupendous: Athena's?

00:06:00,755 --> 00:06:02,324

Deliria: I told you

to never say it!

00:06:02,457 --> 00:06:04,328

Angry bird exit!

[Crowd gasps]

00:06:04,461 --> 00:06:07,000

[Bird shrieks]

Man: Majestic.

00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,171

Tyrannis: Good citizens.

I think I have something

00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:11,042

that will make dry season

go a lot faster.

00:06:11,175 --> 00:06:13,680

What I'm wearing is called

a mud suit. Very cooling.

00:06:13,681 --> 00:06:15,383

Joshua: You think we

haven't tried that?

00:06:15,484 --> 00:06:17,488

It dries, and then

you're just dirty.

00:06:17,622 --> 00:06:20,060

Brutus: Come on, King Ty!

We want action!

00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:22,431

[Citizens murmur angrily]

00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:26,205

Tyrannis:

Who wants a pool?

00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:27,808

[Thunder]

00:06:27,942 --> 00:06:30,312

[Citizens cheering]

00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:32,818

Scott: Cannonball!

Citizens: Ooh!

00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:36,492

Scott: My leg's a little

broken, I think.

00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:39,999

Tyrannis: I'll be damned.

00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,736

The old Mantitaur was right.

00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:43,639

The whole city is in the pool.

00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,176

Even Baby Charybdis

is here.

00:06:45,276 --> 00:06:47,180

Baby Charybdis: Hey, Ty!

Great pool!

00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,151

Brutus: Hell yeah!

I love this pool!

00:06:49,251 --> 00:06:50,588

[Ball pops]

Baby Charybdis: Aw!

00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:52,592

Scott: Hail Tyrannis!

Hero of dry season!

00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,630

[Citizens cheer]

Tyrannis: Oh, you guys.

00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:56,399

I just want everyone

to have fun.

00:06:56,534 --> 00:06:58,402

Ah, Dad!

Shlub: I see you're having fun

00:06:58,503 --> 00:07:00,407

with the weather stick.

Glad you've come around.

00:07:00,508 --> 00:07:02,746

Just remember: a little

does go a long way.

00:07:02,846 --> 00:07:05,050

Tyrannis: Right, yeah, sure.

Shlub: I do say this

00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,786

as an expert in indulgence.

00:07:06,953 --> 00:07:08,757

Tyrannis: Indulgence, yes!

What's this now?

00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:11,296

Farmer: Uh, your grace?

Fantastic job with the pool.

00:07:11,429 --> 00:07:13,065

Tyrannis: No need

to thank me for the pool.

00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,738

Seeing my citizens refreshed

and grateful is enough.

00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:18,811

Farmer: One little thing.

My cows are dying of thirst.

00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:21,115

They're like my family.

Who I milk.

00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,688

Tyrannis: Oh, right. Well, I

wouldn't be "the people's king"

00:07:23,821 --> 00:07:25,992

if I didn't help out

your cow fam.

00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:27,394

What do you say

00:07:27,529 --> 00:07:30,200

to a world-class

irrigation system?

00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,371

Farmer:

I can't thank you enough!

00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:34,341

Please, take one

of my cow daughters.

00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:36,379

Do whatever with it!

Tyrannis: Oh, that's OK.

00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:38,584

Farmer: Go on.

Tyrannis: I'm not having sex

00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,020

with a cow!

Farmer: Huh?

00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:42,290

Tyrannis: What? Oh!

Farmer: Is that what you thought

00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:43,761

I was offering?

Tyrannis: No, no, no,

00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:45,598

of course not.

Sex, with a cow? Who would--

00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:48,571

No, I was just mentioning,

uh, that--in fact,

00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,808

you know what?

I will take one of those cows.

00:07:50,941 --> 00:07:53,312

Farmer: I don't think so.

Tyrannis: Right. Fair enough.

00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:55,785

Stupendous: OK, company!

Time for mess!

00:07:55,885 --> 00:07:57,955

Hippocampus: Seating

arrangements are mandatory!

00:07:58,055 --> 00:07:59,760

I don't expect them

to mate right away.

00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:02,230

As a male scientist,

I estimate 10 to 15 minutes

00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:05,203

of light conversation before

intercourse. Let's observe.

00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:07,942

Soldier 2: So you just believe

everything you see on urns?

00:08:08,042 --> 00:08:09,979

Worshiper 2: You think what,

the whole thing was faked?

00:08:10,079 --> 00:08:11,950

She didn't kill her kids?

Soldier 2: You're the one

00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,589

listening to mainstream Medea!

Hippocampus: Yikes.

00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:16,792

Let's try another table.

Soldier 3: I saw my best friend

00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,563

slaughtered at

the Battle of Thebes.

00:08:18,663 --> 00:08:20,902

He was standing as close

to me as you are right now.

00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:23,406

We were only boys.

Worshiper 1: Uhh...

00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:25,945

are you gonna ask me

anything about me?

00:08:26,078 --> 00:08:28,216

Hippocampus: Maybe this is gonna

be harder than we thought.

00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:30,386

Tyrannis: Ahem! Ahem!

Please note

00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,023

that persons having

active leprosy,

00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:34,729

or who have had leprosy

within the previous 14 days,

00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,867

shall not be allowed

to enter the pool.

00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,472

Leper: Aw!

Woman: My beloved king?

00:08:39,573 --> 00:08:41,242

We heard you're giving

away water

00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:42,745

and, well, we'd love some

00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:45,784

for Krapopolis' orphanage.

To bathe them and such.

00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:48,154

Tyrannis: You had me

at "my beloved king!"

00:08:48,155 --> 00:08:49,692

[Thunder]

00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,031

Shine up those motherless

boys and girls!

00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:54,267

Woman: Oh, we use the girls

for kindling,

00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,372

to heat the boys' baths.

Thanks!

00:08:56,507 --> 00:08:57,876

Long live King Ty!

00:08:58,009 --> 00:09:00,615

Man: King Ty? If you don't mind.

Tyrannis: Thank you.

00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:02,985

I was starting to think

about what that woman just said.

00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:06,559

She wasn't saying

that they burn the girls

00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,797

for kindling, was she?

00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:10,802

Man: I've heard you're

giving out water.

00:09:10,902 --> 00:09:12,572

Tyrannis: Yes, thank you!

Thank you again.

00:09:12,672 --> 00:09:14,843

Ooh, please, go ahead.

Man: I've kinda been debating

00:09:14,977 --> 00:09:16,780

adding a little pond

to my property,

00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:18,917

maybe putting some fish in it?

Tyrannis: Say no more.

00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:21,355

Will this do?

[Weather stick whooshes]

00:09:21,455 --> 00:09:23,025

[Thunder]

00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,764

Man: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[Chuckling] I mean, yeah,

00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:27,836

but I want to reiterate

that I'm still

00:09:27,936 --> 00:09:29,938

in the "waffling" phase here.

00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,912

I guess, if I decide

against the fish pond,

00:09:33,045 --> 00:09:34,916

I'll just dump this water

into a gulch.

00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,653

Tyrannis: Long as you're happy!

Who's next?

00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:38,691

[Horse nickers]

Well, hello, How can I help?

00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:40,561

Woman: Well,

I have this cactus.

00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:42,197

The soil feels

pretty moist, but--

00:09:42,297 --> 00:09:44,936

Tyrannis: Better safe

than succulent-less!

00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:46,873

[Weather stick sputters]

Oh. Hmm.

00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:50,647

That's weird.

Let me just...

00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:54,321

[Citizens cheer]

Woman: I'm not normally

00:09:54,421 --> 00:09:56,693

into someone with

your leg shape, but would you

00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,196

ever want to "hang out"?

Tyrannis: Absolutely.

00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:01,335

Maybe you'd like to see

the city's famous fountain show.

00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:04,742

Woman: You have a fountain show?

Tyrannis: We're about to!

00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:07,414

Hippocampus: Nothing like a

little game to get things going.

00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,485

Worshiper 1:

OK, this is a tough one.

00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,422

What... uh... I--hmm.

00:10:11,557 --> 00:10:13,025

I don't know.

[Bell rings]

00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:15,898

Soldier 3: Odobenus the Great?

How did we not get that?

00:10:15,998 --> 00:10:17,769

Worshiper 1: Am I supposed

to know who that is?

00:10:17,869 --> 00:10:19,740

Soldier 3: He's the jolly

walrus-man hybrid

00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,776

who forges our armor!

You could have given

00:10:21,777 --> 00:10:24,515

so many clue words!

Walrus! Man! Forge!

00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:27,688

Knowing smile! Likes to rape!

Hippocampus: I don't get it.

00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:29,424

This icebreaker

always works with mice.

00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:31,429

Stupendous: I don't think

smart people and people who can

00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,834

do a one-handed pull-up

are meant to talk to each other.

00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,406

Deliria: How are

my super-soldiers coming along?

00:10:36,507 --> 00:10:37,842

Hippocampus:

Not great yet.

00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:39,813

Deliria:

What an incredible surprise.

00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,017

Who would have guessed,

when the soldiers can see all

00:10:42,117 --> 00:10:44,021

the worshipers' veins,

and the worshipers can smell

00:10:44,155 --> 00:10:46,793

all the soldiers'...

well, all the soldiers.

00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,931

Here.

[Lightning sparks]

00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:50,534

[Crowd gasps]

Hippocampus: Hey!

00:10:50,635 --> 00:10:54,074

We're trying to create lasting

emotional connections here!

00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,245

Worshiper 3: Hi, I'm Katie.

My friends are annoying.

00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:58,482

Can I hang with you?

Stupendous: Stand down, Hippo.

00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,019

Hippocampus: But--come on!

I was just--

00:11:00,152 --> 00:11:01,923

Worshiper 4: Hey, do you want

to hear me talk about

00:11:02,023 --> 00:11:04,829

the Sardinian warbler

for a really long time?

00:11:04,929 --> 00:11:06,767

Hippocampus: Do I!

Worshiper 4: So, starting

00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,737

with the plumage...

00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:11,208

[Dance music playing]

00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:14,649

Shlub: Isn't instant

gratification

00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:16,686

just so incredibly

gratifying?

00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:18,757

Tyrannis: I don't know why

it took me so long.

00:11:18,857 --> 00:11:20,594

Joshua: Hey, Ty-bone!

Great pool.

00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:22,264

Tyrannis: People are

giving me nicknames!

00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:23,600

Joshua: You mean

new nicknames.

00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,069

Tyrannis: What was

my previous nickname?

00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:26,807

Joshua: Ha ha! We don't have

to get into that.

00:11:26,907 --> 00:11:28,510

Tyrannis: See, before,

they felt they couldn't get

00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,179

too close to me.

They were too concerned

00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:32,851

about the decorum between

a king and his subjects.

00:11:32,951 --> 00:11:34,287

Shlub: Let's say

that's it, yes.

00:11:34,387 --> 00:11:36,392

Tyrannis: But now, look at this.

Miriam, up top.

00:11:36,492 --> 00:11:38,195

Miriam:

Looking good, Not-Dork.

00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:39,898

Hey, can you wet down

my sandals?

00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,505

They just look better

with a little sheen.

00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,175

Tyrannis: Sure thing.

00:11:44,308 --> 00:11:46,212

Shlub: Son, might you be

overdoing it a little?

00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:48,115

Tyrannis: Whaaat?

Now who's the uptight one?

00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,787

Grab yourself a Ty Colada and

start your next nap right there.

00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:52,792

Joshua: Hey, you guys want

to see my pee stream?

00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:55,396

Tyrannis: Oh, Joshua, we really

don't need to see that--

00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,267

That is quite robust.

00:11:57,367 --> 00:12:00,173

[Loud dance music playing]

Stupendous: OK, this is crazy.

00:12:00,273 --> 00:12:02,712

Some of the soldiers

who deserted heard about this

00:12:02,812 --> 00:12:04,481

and came back,

with more soldiers!

00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:06,886

And everyone's humping!

Hippocampus: Something about

00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:09,324

the music and the darkness

and the alcohol.

00:12:09,325 --> 00:12:11,127

We've created an atmosphere

00:12:11,128 --> 00:12:13,266

of artificial sexual arousal!

00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:16,272

Stupendous: No one can hear

anything anyone is saying!

00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:18,710

And they're loving it!

00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:21,081

Hippocampus:

I'm gonna live forever!

00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:24,821

It's a feeling I'm having

right now due to the intensity

00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:27,393

of the atmosphere!

Deliria: What?

00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:29,030

Tyrannis: Oh, hey, Kolax,

there's probably gonna be

00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,035

a lot of citizens who want

to talk to me today.

00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,072

Kolax: Oh, no doubt, boss.

I'll keep 'em away.

00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:35,476

No one gets close.

That's the rule, right?

00:12:35,611 --> 00:12:36,913

Tyrannis: No, no,

that's the thing.

00:12:37,013 --> 00:12:38,416

Ordinarily I would need

protection,

00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:40,152

but I want to mingle with

the citizens now.

00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:41,824

Kolax: I can't let you.

It's too risky.

00:12:41,924 --> 00:12:43,727

Tyrannis: We're living

in a new era, Kolax.

00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,798

One where people like

their king.

00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,534

I'm parched.

Anyone want water?

00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:51,108

Yesterday I got this thing

to do both flat and bubbly.

00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,444

Ahem.

00:12:52,578 --> 00:12:54,982

Damn. What is wrong

with this thing?

00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:56,418

Shlub: I've never seen it

do that before.

00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,757

You may have overused it.

Tyrannis: Overused it?

00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,159

You can't overuse it.

00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,163

Can you overuse it?

Shlub: I don't know.

00:13:02,263 --> 00:13:03,901

Tyrannis: Well,

how do you fix it?

00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:05,604

Shlub: I don't know that, either.

00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:07,073

I've never been

in this situation before.

00:13:07,173 --> 00:13:08,810

Tyrannis: Well, we've got

to get it working.

00:13:08,811 --> 00:13:10,313

I'm in a really good place

right now.

00:13:10,447 --> 00:13:11,950

I've got citizens loving me,

cows winking at me.

00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,419

I need to keep this going.

Scott: King,

00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,791

we've got a problem.

The Placeans are here.

00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:17,226

Tyrannis: Oh, your friends

who gave us the stick.

00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:18,763

Maybe they can fix it.

Scott: Yeah, no.

00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,332

They're attacking.

Tyrannis: Attacking?

00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:24,473

Chief Ravdi: I am Chief Ravdi,

of the Placean people!

00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:25,844

Shlub: Ravdi, old friend!

00:13:25,978 --> 00:13:27,815

Chief Ravdi:

Don't "old friend" me, Shlub!

00:13:27,948 --> 00:13:30,854

You stole our weather stick!

Tyrannis: You stole it?!

00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:33,025

Chief Ravdi: Open your gates

or your whole city

00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:35,430

will pay the price!

Scott: Should we open the gates?

00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,267

Tyrannis: It doesn't really seem

like that's the best course

00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:39,036

of action, Scott, now, does it?!

Scott: I don't know!

00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:40,641

I just work here!

Tyrannis: Dad, fill me in.

00:13:40,741 --> 00:13:43,045

What have you not told me?

Shlub: Ravdi's a good fellow.

00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:45,884

This has to be

a simple misunderstanding.

00:13:45,885 --> 00:13:48,055

Chief Ravdi: Fire!

00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:52,965

Shlub: Maybe a misunderstanding

on my part. Ha ha!

00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:56,137

Ty: There's no need

for violence!

00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,307

I'm sure this is all

just a silly mix-up.

00:13:58,308 --> 00:14:00,213

Can we say that? Can we pretend

that's what it is?

00:14:00,313 --> 00:14:02,919

Chief Ravdi: The silly mix-up

was me allowing this thief

00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:05,357

to participate

in our Friendship Festival!

00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:08,295

Did those trust falls

mean nothing to you?

00:14:08,296 --> 00:14:09,999

Tyrannis: Dad, you told me

you got the weather stick

00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,535

from your friends.

Shlub: They are my friends,

00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:13,238

and I did get it.

Tyrannis: But he's saying

00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:15,443

you stole it!

Shlub: Stealing is a--hmm,

00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,882

it's a kind of getting,

but I didn't steal anything.

00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,353

I simply abided by the rules

of finders keepers.

00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:22,223

Tyrannis: Finders keepers?

Shlub: Yes, if you find

00:14:22,323 --> 00:14:24,963

something--here's the best bit--

you get to keep it.

00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:26,967

I guess when I said they

gave it to me, I meant

00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,071

they gave it to me

in a holistic sense,

00:14:29,171 --> 00:14:31,175

by leaving it somewhere

where I could find it.

00:14:31,341 --> 00:14:33,613

Tyrannis: Mm! Look, my dad

is a silly old man,

00:14:33,714 --> 00:14:35,617

and I promise

we can make this right.

00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:37,387

Chief Ravdi: Lightning!

Tyrannis: Ow!

00:14:37,487 --> 00:14:38,890

You have

other sticks?

00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:40,460

Chief Ravdi: You better believe

we have other sticks!

00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:42,430

Shlub: They're a stick-based

culture, which is why

00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:45,103

they shouldn't mind losing one.

Chief Ravdi: Biting flies!

00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,073

[Flies buzzing]

Shlub: Ow! Ow! Damn you!

00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:48,544

Tyrannis: Please, I see

that we made a mistake,

00:14:48,644 --> 00:14:50,781

and I'd love to make this right.

Why don't you stay

00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:53,018

and enjoy our many waterfalls

and lazy rivers?

00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:54,454

Chief Ravdi:

You don't get it!

00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,225

Tyrannis: Or perhaps you'd

like to experience

00:14:56,325 --> 00:14:57,895

our world-famous

slip-then-slide?

00:14:57,996 --> 00:14:59,364

It turns accidents

into fun-ccidents.

00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,100

If we just get this thing

working again,

00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,540

I promise there's

enough water for everyone.

00:15:03,706 --> 00:15:05,042

Chief Ravdi:

Only there isn't!

00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:06,746

The weather stick

doesn't make water.

00:15:06,846 --> 00:15:08,783

It simply moves it

from place to place.

00:15:08,883 --> 00:15:11,556

So not only did you

steal our stick,

00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:13,292

you stole our lifeblood.

00:15:13,392 --> 00:15:16,499

Our livestock.

Our live... crops.

00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,005

Our vegetables!

Everything!

00:15:20,841 --> 00:15:22,177

Shlub: Hello.

00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:24,214

Ty: Did you know about this?

Shlub: Who's to say?

00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,151

I've heard a lot of things

over the years.

00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:29,158

They don't always stay with me.

Besides, I just gave you access

00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:31,162

to the stick, I didn't tell you

to drain the world!

00:15:31,295 --> 00:15:34,400

Chief Ravdi: Dust in your eyes!

Shlub: Ow! Stop it!

00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:36,304

Tyrannis: Chief Ravdi,

we needed water.

00:15:36,404 --> 00:15:38,476

My father saw that I was

in need, and while he should not

00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,747

have taken your weather stick

in the first place,

00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:42,752

surely you see

that he was simply trying

00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:44,755

to help out his son

in an emergency.

00:15:44,889 --> 00:15:46,458

Chief Ravdi:

It was no emergency!

00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,362

You're running a sexy

chariot wash!

00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:50,232

[Chariot washers cheer]

Tyrannis: OK,

00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:52,237

it did get a little out of hand.

Chief Ravdi: Sunburn!

00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,107

Tyrannis: Ow! If using

the water stick meant we were

00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:56,145

taking water from someplace

else, aren't you giving me

00:15:56,278 --> 00:15:58,115

somebody else's sunburn?

Chief Ravdi: Somehow,

00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,319

I don't think they're going

to complain! Sleet!

00:16:00,453 --> 00:16:02,858

Tyrannis: Ah! How many sticks

do you guys have?

00:16:02,958 --> 00:16:04,662

Chief Ravdi: Lots!

Tyrannis: What do I have

00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:06,098

to do to make it right?

00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,568

Chief Ravdi:

Give us the water back.

00:16:07,702 --> 00:16:09,437

Tyrannis: All of it?

Chief Ravdi: Yes, all of it!

00:16:09,538 --> 00:16:11,743

Tyrannis: OK, just let me think.

Ahem. Dad, you know these guys.

00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:13,244

What kind of damage

can they do?

00:16:13,245 --> 00:16:14,949

Just kind of this

relatively topical stuff?

00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:16,418

Shlub: I don't know.

I'm not a stick man.

00:16:16,552 --> 00:16:18,188

I'm more of

a finders-keepers man.

00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:19,792

Tyrannis: Of course

you don't know.

00:16:19,892 --> 00:16:22,497

It seems like the worst they can

do right now is biting flies.

00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:25,538

I'll just take my chances.

[Chief Ravdi whistles]

00:16:25,638 --> 00:16:27,005

[Horses whinny]

00:16:27,006 --> 00:16:29,177

Shlub:

Ravdi, you old bastard,

00:16:29,277 --> 00:16:32,183

you've built a bigger stick,

haven't you?

00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,187

Tyrannis: This is probably

a stupid question,

00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,224

but where the hell are

Mom and the army?!

00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:38,563

Stupendous: It's still so hot.

And there's no moisture

00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:41,435

left in my body.

Gimme some of your helmet water.

00:16:41,536 --> 00:16:43,338

Hippocampus: Get off!

I'm already flaking!

00:16:43,472 --> 00:16:45,511

Soldier 4: That was great.

Soldier 2: Yeah, last night,

00:16:45,611 --> 00:16:48,315

I drank wine till I was

disoriented and unable

00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,554

to perform sexually.

I feel ill today.

00:16:50,654 --> 00:16:52,592

Let's do it again tonight!

Hippocampus: Weren't you one

00:16:52,692 --> 00:16:54,895

of the deserters trying

to leave Krapopolis?

00:16:55,029 --> 00:16:56,464

Soldier 4: Yeah.

Changed my mind, I guess.

00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,238

Turns out if I drink enough

and dance around at night,

00:16:59,338 --> 00:17:02,175

I forget my life

during the day is miserable.

00:17:02,176 --> 00:17:04,481

Hippocampus: So people will stay

in the most disgusting,

00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,220

awful city if it has some kind

of "night life."

00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:09,224

We need a name

for this principle.

00:17:09,358 --> 00:17:11,228

Oh! What'd you say

your name was?

00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:13,065

Soldier 4: Miami.

Hippocampus: Ehh...

00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:14,836

Stupendous: Technically I should

beat these deserters.

00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:18,042

But maybe letting them have fun

is better than clubbing them?

00:17:18,142 --> 00:17:20,514

Hippocampus: That's what we

call it: "deserting"!

00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:23,485

No! "Clubbing."

Stupendous: Hey, Mom. You're up.

00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,624

Anybody pregnant in there?

Deliria: I don't think so.

00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:28,630

Most of your troops had

too much wine to raise the flag,

00:17:28,763 --> 00:17:31,367

if you know what I mean.

Stupendous: Ohh, right.

00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:34,339

I think I know what you mean.

Well, it didn't help that

00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:37,380

your worshipers spent half the

night in the bathroom crying.

00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,384

Deliria: Katie was going

through some stuff.

00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:41,154

You know, I think

we should do this again.

00:17:41,255 --> 00:17:42,992

Or at least, roughly

every seven days.

00:17:43,092 --> 00:17:45,430

We can call it

"Septimal Night Veneration."

00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,167

Hippocampus: We're already

calling it "clubbing."

00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,937

Deliria: Well, we'll see

what catches on first.

00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:51,174

Tyrannis: So that's probably

some sort of doomsday stick,

00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:53,145

right?

Shlub: I had no idea they have

00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,682

this kind of power.

Tyrannis: I should have known

00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,552

there would be

crazy consequences if I used

00:17:56,686 --> 00:17:58,590

something from your magic box.

Shlub: Yes, you should have,

00:17:58,690 --> 00:18:00,728

and I did warn you.

Tyrannis: We have two options.

00:18:00,828 --> 00:18:03,332

Option one is we all die.

Option two is I give them back

00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:05,302

their water,

and people don't like me.

00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:07,007

Shlub: I think it should be

fairly obvious, son.

00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:08,677

Tyrannis:

Yeah, easy for you to say.

00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,613

People have always liked you.

But now the Placeans are going

00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:13,218

to do whatever that stick does,

and the tickle trolls aren't

00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:15,256

even here, so I'm starting

to think they were just

00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:17,260

something you and Mom made up

to mess with me!

00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,930

Shlub: Well, that's on you

for being thirty

00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,801

and still believing

in tickle trolls.

00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,773

But I believe I owe you

an apology.

00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:26,278

Tyrannis:

Any more to that?

00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:28,015

Shlub: Oh, I haven't

done this in a while.

00:18:28,115 --> 00:18:30,887

I thought that would be enough.

What's called for, specifics?

00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:32,958

Tyrannis:

You're actually asking? Yes!

00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:34,528

Shlub: All right, all right.

Um...

00:18:34,628 --> 00:18:37,568

I just hated seeing you being

unhappy and unliked, son.

00:18:37,668 --> 00:18:40,574

But as your dad,

I should get used to that.

00:18:40,674 --> 00:18:43,345

No? More? Is that enough?

Tyrannis: It'll do.

00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:45,651

And, as a leader,

in the future, I should resist

00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:47,654

overpromising

and immediate gratification.

00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:49,892

True leadership lies

in under-promising,

00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:51,663

overdelivering,

and slow progress.

00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,699

Shlub: Ha!

It's a whole back and forth!

00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,102

We're both apologizing!

00:18:55,236 --> 00:18:57,207

What fun we're having!

Ah, ha ha ha ha!

00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,213

Tyrannis: Yes. You know,

we have done this before.

00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:03,251

Shlub: Well, son, even if

this whole town turns on you--

00:19:03,252 --> 00:19:05,223

and they will--

I'll still love you.

00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:07,225

Tyrannis: Thanks, Dad.

I guess no matter what,

00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:08,997

they will never be satisfied,

and that's something

00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:10,466

I have to be OK with

as king.

00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,772

I think I know what I

have to do.

00:19:12,905 --> 00:19:15,243

Everybody out of the pool.

Swim time is over.

00:19:15,343 --> 00:19:16,879

Citizens: Boo!

00:19:17,013 --> 00:19:19,685

Joshua: I'm not getting out

till my toes are all wrinkly!

00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,656

Tyrannis: This water

you're all enjoying,

00:19:21,756 --> 00:19:23,425

and that's making you all

love me, was stolen.

00:19:23,526 --> 00:19:25,096

So I'm afraid it

must be returned.

00:19:25,229 --> 00:19:27,166

Citizens: Boo!

Tyrannis: Yes,

00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,537

you can hate me if you want.

Brutus: We do!

00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:32,544

Tyrannis:

And I accept that.

00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:35,550

Or I will someday.

00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,100

Man: Oof. Oww!

00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,771

Citizens: Huh?

00:19:45,871 --> 00:19:47,575

Woman: Oh!

00:19:47,675 --> 00:19:49,645

Man 2: Oh--oof!

00:19:51,749 --> 00:19:53,653

Tyrannis: There you go.

Chief Ravdi: And the stick?

00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:56,224

Tyrannis: What? I can't sneak

anything past you guys.

00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,195

Are we good now?

Chief Ravdi: We're good.

00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:02,538

Now you know never to mess

with the Placeans.

00:20:02,705 --> 00:20:04,241

Ha ha ha ha! Man!

00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:07,648

That huge decoy stick

works every time.

00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,652

Tyrannis: Well,

now that everyone hates me,

00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:12,356

I might as well drown

my sorrows in an orgy.

00:20:12,456 --> 00:20:14,059

Shlub: No, no.

I have something else

00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:16,498

in my magic box for you.

It's a hug.

00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,134

Tyrannis: But what about

the orgy lamp?

00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:21,407

Shlub: Haven't you learned

anything? That's just for me.

00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:26,986

Tickle troll leader: Ah,

another delicious meal

00:20:27,086 --> 00:20:28,355

under another perfect moon.

00:20:28,455 --> 00:20:31,562

A tickle troll giggle

for this beautiful day!

00:20:31,662 --> 00:20:34,033

[Laughter]

00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,771

What's this?

What's happening?

00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:38,040

Tickle troll shaman:

I knew this day would come.

00:20:38,041 --> 00:20:39,745

[Frog croaks]

It is prophesied.

00:20:39,845 --> 00:20:43,018

For millennia, we tickle trolls

lived in harmony with humans.

00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:44,755

We visited them

in their sleep,

00:20:44,855 --> 00:20:47,493

and they rewarded us

with their delicious laughter.

00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,701

Heh! But then, parents started

using us as a threat.

00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,704

"Beware the tickle trolls,"

they said.

00:20:52,804 --> 00:20:55,242

"Their name is

a fake-out," they said.

00:20:55,342 --> 00:20:58,082

"Brush your teeth or

the tickle trolls will get you!"

00:20:58,182 --> 00:21:01,087

"Don't wet your bed or the

tickle trolls will get you."

00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:03,660

Heh! No longer did the children

bless us with their laughter.

00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,264

They screamed

at the sight of us!

00:21:06,364 --> 00:21:08,035

So we stopped tickling them.

00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:09,738

Generations of kids grew up

00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:11,207

never even seeing us!

00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:13,010

They believed

they had been tricked.

00:21:13,011 --> 00:21:16,385

And just as foretold

by our sacred oral tradition,

00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:19,123

when the last little boy

stopped believing in us,

00:21:19,223 --> 00:21:21,563

we would disappear.

[Frog croaks]

00:21:21,663 --> 00:21:23,567

Tickle troll leader: Wait.

You knew this day

00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,736

would come,

but you never told us?

00:21:25,737 --> 00:21:27,440

Tickle troll shaman:

It never came up.

00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:30,781

Tickle troll:

We have an oral tradition?

00:21:30,981 --> 00:21:32,684

Man: Did you get any

of that?

00:21:34,722 --> 00:21:36,424

Woman: Bento.

[People cheer]

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