Погодная палка

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I know dry season has been

hard on all of us.

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When is this

gonna be over?

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I'm tired

of drinking sand.

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My pee stream is like

half of what it used to be.

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I get it.

We all hate dry season.

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But there are benefits.

Dry season drives

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the tickle trolls north,

far away from here.

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What's so bad about the

tickle trolls? They sound fun.

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Trust me, they gave

themselves that name

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to lure you in.

They are ruthless!

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But we'll get through this,

and as we all know,

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surviving hardship together

is what creates a sense

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of community.

Does it?

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Yes, sometimes! So,

to help us all get through it,

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I've organized Dry Fest.

We're making it fun,

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like we did

with swarming locust season.

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No one enjoyed

Locust Fest.

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I seem to remember you

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winning

the locust-eating contest.

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They flew

into my mouth when I yawned.

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Are you gonna give

your medal back?

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Let's not go crazy.

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OK, then.

We've got a lot

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of fun dry-season

activities planned.

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Later on, we'll have

a slam poetry contest

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called "What I Hate

About Dry Season!"

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This sucks!

Yeah!

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Man 2: Window dressing at best!

I'm sorry.

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What do you want me to do?

Fix my melted house!

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Strengthen my pee stream!

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Can you just

make it less dry?

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Are you seriously

criticizing me

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for the weather now?

Hey, you signed up

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for this when you called

yourself king.

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I see this as more

of a referendum

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on his leadership in general.

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Scott, slam poetry style:

Season's too dry,

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dust in my eye!

Pee stream's light

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and I blame King Ty!

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It's more of a referendum

on his leadership in general.

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Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

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Slam poetry's canceled!

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Whoo!

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It was one thing

when they blamed me

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for the grain shortage.

That's on me

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for storing the grain

in the pig pen.

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And I'll take the hit for

the pig obesity problem, too.

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But the citizens are being

unreasonable here.

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I'd say you've got

yourself a popularity problem.

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I got a problem.

My soldiers keep deserting

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because of the heat,

and the punishment for deserters

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is I gotta club 'em.

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Which wastes my arm

for like a day and a half.

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Isn't there a place

my soldiers could cool off?

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OK, this is one

I can solve.

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Mom, your temple is

nice and cool.

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Could Stupe's soldiers use that

as their barracks?

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Absolutely not!

My temple is for my worshipers.

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Aren't you overstating

the number of worshipers

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you have by making it plural?

For your information,

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I have picked up

a small contingent

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of very dedicated worshipers,

who love

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watching me turn

into various birds.

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Bird watchers?

Yes!

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Stupe, just convert

your soldiers to Mom worshipers.

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That won't fly.

You know who soldiers worship.

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I can't say her name.

You can say it.

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I have no problem

hearing her name.

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Athena.

Never say her name!

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That was a test

and you failed.

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Ty, I'm working

on something that can cool

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everyone down.

It's called air conditioning.

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How does it work?

No idea,

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I only have the name so far.

Well,

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in the meantime, can you just

make the citizens heartier

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and not such crybabies?

Are we talking

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about... selective breeding?

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Cuz just say the word.

I'll start the program.

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I'm itching to do it

with humans.

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No!

No selective breeding.

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People should be free

to choose their life partners

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through the tried

and true system

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of arranged marriages

and brides for land.

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Mom, can we

please use your temple?

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As long

as no one says that name.

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Great.

I'll get started.

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There's gonna be plenty

of room if we rip out

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a few friezes

and parapets.

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Don't touch

my parapets!

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Son, I really hate

to see you so down.

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I think I know what

you need to do.

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Yes, just accept

that there are times

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in a king's reign when he isn't

universally beloved.

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I was going to say cheat.

Cheat?

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Let me show you

something.

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It's in here somewhere.

What is this stuff?

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I've been alive

for thousands of years.

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I've collected a few

magic items in that time.

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Oh, is this

a genie in a lamp?

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Not quite.

It's an orgy in a lamp.

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Be careful with it.

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Woman, robocall voice:

Good morning, Master.

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You have one orgy left.

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Nope, false alarm.

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I'm saving you

for a special occasion.

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Ah, here it is.

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This is a weather stick.

You can control

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the elements with it.

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Whoa!

Where did you get this?

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I got it from my friends,

the Placeans.

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It's quite flexible

if you know how to use it.

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Now, you and I both know

you have a hard time

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getting people to like you.

Of course.

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Because I'm an authority figure.

Sure,

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let's say it's that.

But in my thousands of years

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on this earth, one thing

has always been true:

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everyone loves you

if you have a pool.

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That is true.

But I'm not going to cheat

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just to get people to love me.

Dry season serves a purpose.

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It drives

the tickle trolls north.

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Also, surviving hardships

together is what creates

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a sense of community

is what I'm telling them.

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Suit yourself.

If you'll excuse me,

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it's nap time.

If Daddy doesn't nap,

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Daddy gets cranky.

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Ugh,

this heat is unbearable.

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Look at my bowl.

I've got an algae bloom!

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All right, guys,

this is your new barracks.

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Hang on, hang on.

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My worshipers expect

an entrance.

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Ooh!

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Worshiper 1: Oh, I know

that one! That's a kingfisher.

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Worshiper 2: Ooh, hooded crow!

Worshiper 1: Red-backed shrike!

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Show the plumage!

Show the plumage!

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Yeah!

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All hail Deliria!

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Thank you, thank you.

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It was hard.

I'm amazing.

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Thank you.

Mom, I'm impressed.

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Bird nerds are

highly intelligent

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and socially inept,

which makes them

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even smarter,

in my opinion.

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All right, guys, move in.

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Be respectful of the losers

if you can.

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Huh.

Big, buff soldiers.

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Nerdy bird people.

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I can't remember.

Did Ty come out as pro-

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or anti-selective

breeding experiment?

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You remember

things he says?

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If we cross-bred

their intelligence

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with their muscles,

we'd create a super-citizen

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that could fight

and think.

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And also love birds,

I guess.

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Interesting.

Soldiers with lovers

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in the city are soldiers

who don't desert the city.

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And if I had worshipers

who were smart and beefy,

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guess whose hair I'd be in?

Athena's?

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I told you

to never say it!

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Angry bird exit!

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Majestic.

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Good citizens.

I think I have something

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that will make dry season

go a lot faster.

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What I'm wearing is called

a mud suit. Very cooling.

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You think we

haven't tried that?

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It dries, and then

you're just dirty.

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Come on, King Ty!

We want action!

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Who wants a pool?

00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:32,818

Cannonball!

Ooh!

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My leg's a little

broken, I think.

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I'll be damned.

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The old Mantitaur was right.

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The whole city is in the pool.

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Even Baby Charybdis

is here.

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Baby Charybdis: Hey, Ty!

Great pool!

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Hell yeah!

I love this pool!

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Baby Charybdis: Aw!

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Hail Tyrannis!

Hero of dry season!

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Oh, you guys.

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I just want everyone

to have fun.

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Ah, Dad!

I see you're having fun

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with the weather stick.

Glad you've come around.

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Just remember: a little

does go a long way.

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Right, yeah, sure.

I do say this

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as an expert in indulgence.

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Indulgence, yes!

What's this now?

00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:11,296

Uh, your grace?

Fantastic job with the pool.

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No need

to thank me for the pool.

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Seeing my citizens refreshed

and grateful is enough.

00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:18,811

One little thing.

My cows are dying of thirst.

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They're like my family.

Who I milk.

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Oh, right. Well, I

wouldn't be "the people's king"

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if I didn't help out

your cow fam.

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What do you say

00:07:27,529 --> 00:07:30,200

to a world-class

irrigation system?

00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,371

I can't thank you enough!

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Please, take one

of my cow daughters.

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Do whatever with it!

Oh, that's OK.

00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:38,584

Go on.

I'm not having sex

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with a cow!

Huh?

00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:42,290

What? Oh!

Is that what you thought

00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:43,761

I was offering?

No, no, no,

00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:45,598

of course not.

Sex, with a cow? Who would--

00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:48,571

No, I was just mentioning,

uh, that--in fact,

00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,808

you know what?

I will take one of those cows.

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I don't think so.

Right. Fair enough.

00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:55,785

OK, company!

Time for mess!

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Seating

arrangements are mandatory!

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I don't expect them

to mate right away.

00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:02,230

As a male scientist,

I estimate 10 to 15 minutes

00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:05,203

of light conversation before

intercourse. Let's observe.

00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:07,942

Soldier 2: So you just believe

everything you see on urns?

00:08:08,042 --> 00:08:09,979

Worshiper 2: You think what,

the whole thing was faked?

00:08:10,079 --> 00:08:11,950

She didn't kill her kids?

Soldier 2: You're the one

00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,589

listening to mainstream Medea!

Yikes.

00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:16,792

Let's try another table.

Soldier 3: I saw my best friend

00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,563

slaughtered at

the Battle of Thebes.

00:08:18,663 --> 00:08:20,902

He was standing as close

to me as you are right now.

00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:23,406

We were only boys.

Worshiper 1: Uhh...

00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:25,945

are you gonna ask me

anything about me?

00:08:26,078 --> 00:08:28,216

Maybe this is gonna

be harder than we thought.

00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:30,386

Ahem! Ahem!

Please note

00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,023

that persons having

active leprosy,

00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:34,729

or who have had leprosy

within the previous 14 days,

00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,867

shall not be allowed

to enter the pool.

00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,472

Aw!

My beloved king?

00:08:39,573 --> 00:08:41,242

We heard you're giving

away water

00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:42,745

and, well, we'd love some

00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:45,784

for Krapopolis' orphanage.

To bathe them and such.

00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:48,154

You had me

at "my beloved king!"

00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,031

Shine up those motherless

boys and girls!

00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:54,267

Oh, we use the girls

for kindling,

00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,372

to heat the boys' baths.

Thanks!

00:08:56,507 --> 00:08:57,876

Long live King Ty!

00:08:58,009 --> 00:09:00,615

King Ty? If you don't mind.

Thank you.

00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:02,985

I was starting to think

about what that woman just said.

00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:06,559

She wasn't saying

that they burn the girls

00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,797

for kindling, was she?

00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:10,802

I've heard you're

giving out water.

00:09:10,902 --> 00:09:12,572

Yes, thank you!

Thank you again.

00:09:12,672 --> 00:09:14,843

Ooh, please, go ahead.

I've kinda been debating

00:09:14,977 --> 00:09:16,780

adding a little pond

to my property,

00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:18,917

maybe putting some fish in it?

Say no more.

00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:21,355

Will this do?

00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,764

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I mean, yeah,

00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:27,836

but I want to reiterate

that I'm still

00:09:27,936 --> 00:09:29,938

in the "waffling" phase here.

00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,912

I guess, if I decide

against the fish pond,

00:09:33,045 --> 00:09:34,916

I'll just dump this water

into a gulch.

00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,653

Long as you're happy!

Who's next?

00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:38,691

Well, hello, How can I help?

00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:40,561

Well,

I have this cactus.

00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:42,197

The soil feels

pretty moist, but--

00:09:42,297 --> 00:09:44,936

Better safe

than succulent-less!

00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:46,873

Oh. Hmm.

00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:50,647

That's weird.

Let me just...

00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:54,321

I'm not normally

00:09:54,421 --> 00:09:56,693

into someone with

your leg shape, but would you

00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,196

ever want to "hang out"?

Absolutely.

00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:01,335

Maybe you'd like to see

the city's famous fountain show.

00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:04,742

You have a fountain show?

We're about to!

00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:07,414

Nothing like a

little game to get things going.

00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,485

Worshiper 1:

OK, this is a tough one.

00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,422

What... uh... I--hmm.

00:10:11,557 --> 00:10:13,025

I don't know.

00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:15,898

Soldier 3: Odobenus the Great?

How did we not get that?

00:10:15,998 --> 00:10:17,769

Worshiper 1: Am I supposed

to know who that is?

00:10:17,869 --> 00:10:19,740

Soldier 3: He's the jolly

walrus-man hybrid

00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,776

who forges our armor!

You could have given

00:10:21,777 --> 00:10:24,515

so many clue words!

Walrus! Man! Forge!

00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:27,688

Knowing smile! Likes to rape!

I don't get it.

00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:29,424

This icebreaker

always works with mice.

00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:31,429

I don't think

smart people and people who can

00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,834

do a one-handed pull-up

are meant to talk to each other.

00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,406

How are

my super-soldiers coming along?

00:10:36,507 --> 00:10:37,842

Not great yet.

00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:39,813

What an incredible surprise.

00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,017

Who would have guessed,

when the soldiers can see all

00:10:42,117 --> 00:10:44,021

the worshipers' veins,

and the worshipers can smell

00:10:44,155 --> 00:10:46,793

all the soldiers'...

well, all the soldiers.

00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,931

Here.

00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:50,534

Hey!

00:10:50,635 --> 00:10:54,074

We're trying to create lasting

emotional connections here!

00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,245

Worshiper 3: Hi, I'm Katie.

My friends are annoying.

00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:58,482

Can I hang with you?

Stand down, Hippo.

00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,019

But--come on!

I was just--

00:11:00,152 --> 00:11:01,923

Worshiper 4: Hey, do you want

to hear me talk about

00:11:02,023 --> 00:11:04,829

the Sardinian warbler

for a really long time?

00:11:04,929 --> 00:11:06,767

Do I!

Worshiper 4: So, starting

00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,737

with the plumage...

00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:14,649

Isn't instant

gratification

00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:16,686

just so incredibly

gratifying?

00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:18,757

I don't know why

it took me so long.

00:11:18,857 --> 00:11:20,594

Hey, Ty-bone!

Great pool.

00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:22,264

People are

giving me nicknames!

00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:23,600

You mean

new nicknames.

00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,069

What was

my previous nickname?

00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:26,807

Ha ha! We don't have

to get into that.

00:11:26,907 --> 00:11:28,510

See, before,

they felt they couldn't get

00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,179

too close to me.

They were too concerned

00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:32,851

about the decorum between

a king and his subjects.

00:11:32,951 --> 00:11:34,287

Let's say

that's it, yes.

00:11:34,387 --> 00:11:36,392

But now, look at this.

Miriam, up top.

00:11:36,492 --> 00:11:38,195

Looking good, Not-Dork.

00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:39,898

Hey, can you wet down

my sandals?

00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,505

They just look better

with a little sheen.

00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,175

Sure thing.

00:11:44,308 --> 00:11:46,212

Son, might you be

overdoing it a little?

00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:48,115

Whaaat?

Now who's the uptight one?

00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,787

Grab yourself a Ty Colada and

start your next nap right there.

00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:52,792

Hey, you guys want

to see my pee stream?

00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:55,396

Oh, Joshua, we really

don't need to see that--

00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,267

That is quite robust.

00:11:57,367 --> 00:12:00,173

OK, this is crazy.

00:12:00,273 --> 00:12:02,712

Some of the soldiers

who deserted heard about this

00:12:02,812 --> 00:12:04,481

and came back,

with more soldiers!

00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:06,886

And everyone's humping!

Something about

00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:09,324

the music and the darkness

and the alcohol.

00:12:09,325 --> 00:12:11,127

We've created an atmosphere

00:12:11,128 --> 00:12:13,266

of artificial sexual arousal!

00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:16,272

No one can hear

anything anyone is saying!

00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:18,710

And they're loving it!

00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:21,081

I'm gonna live forever!

00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:24,821

It's a feeling I'm having

right now due to the intensity

00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:27,393

of the atmosphere!

What?

00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:29,030

Oh, hey, Kolax,

there's probably gonna be

00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,035

a lot of citizens who want

to talk to me today.

00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,072

Oh, no doubt, boss.

I'll keep 'em away.

00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:35,476

No one gets close.

That's the rule, right?

00:12:35,611 --> 00:12:36,913

No, no,

that's the thing.

00:12:37,013 --> 00:12:38,416

Ordinarily I would need

protection,

00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:40,152

but I want to mingle with

the citizens now.

00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:41,824

I can't let you.

It's too risky.

00:12:41,924 --> 00:12:43,727

We're living

in a new era, Kolax.

00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,798

One where people like

their king.

00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,534

I'm parched.

Anyone want water?

00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:51,108

Yesterday I got this thing

to do both flat and bubbly.

00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,444

Ahem.

00:12:52,578 --> 00:12:54,982

Damn. What is wrong

with this thing?

00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:56,418

I've never seen it

do that before.

00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,757

You may have overused it.

Overused it?

00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,159

You can't overuse it.

00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,163

Can you overuse it?

I don't know.

00:13:02,263 --> 00:13:03,901

Well,

how do you fix it?

00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:05,604

I don't know that, either.

00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:07,073

I've never been

in this situation before.

00:13:07,173 --> 00:13:08,810

Well, we've got

to get it working.

00:13:08,811 --> 00:13:10,313

I'm in a really good place

right now.

00:13:10,447 --> 00:13:11,950

I've got citizens loving me,

cows winking at me.

00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,419

I need to keep this going.

King,

00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,791

we've got a problem.

The Placeans are here.

00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:17,226

Oh, your friends

who gave us the stick.

00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:18,763

Maybe they can fix it.

Yeah, no.

00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,332

They're attacking.

Attacking?

00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:24,473

Chief Ravdi: I am Chief Ravdi,

of the Placean people!

00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:25,844

Ravdi, old friend!

00:13:25,978 --> 00:13:27,815

Chief Ravdi:

Don't "old friend" me, Shlub!

00:13:27,948 --> 00:13:30,854

You stole our weather stick!

You stole it?!

00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:33,025

Chief Ravdi: Open your gates

or your whole city

00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:35,430

will pay the price!

Should we open the gates?

00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,267

It doesn't really seem

like that's the best course

00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:39,036

of action, Scott, now, does it?!

I don't know!

00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:40,641

I just work here!

Dad, fill me in.

00:13:40,741 --> 00:13:43,045

What have you not told me?

Ravdi's a good fellow.

00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:45,884

This has to be

a simple misunderstanding.

00:13:45,885 --> 00:13:48,055

Chief Ravdi: Fire!

00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:52,965

Maybe a misunderstanding

on my part. Ha ha!

00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:56,137

There's no need

for violence!

00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,307

I'm sure this is all

just a silly mix-up.

00:13:58,308 --> 00:14:00,213

Can we say that? Can we pretend

that's what it is?

00:14:00,313 --> 00:14:02,919

Chief Ravdi: The silly mix-up

was me allowing this thief

00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:05,357

to participate

in our Friendship Festival!

00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:08,295

Did those trust falls

mean nothing to you?

00:14:08,296 --> 00:14:09,999

Dad, you told me

you got the weather stick

00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,535

from your friends.

They are my friends,

00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:13,238

and I did get it.

But he's saying

00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:15,443

you stole it!

Stealing is a--hmm,

00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,882

it's a kind of getting,

but I didn't steal anything.

00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,353

I simply abided by the rules

of finders keepers.

00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:22,223

Finders keepers?

Yes, if you find

00:14:22,323 --> 00:14:24,963

something--here's the best bit--

you get to keep it.

00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:26,967

I guess when I said they

gave it to me, I meant

00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,071

they gave it to me

in a holistic sense,

00:14:29,171 --> 00:14:31,175

by leaving it somewhere

where I could find it.

00:14:31,341 --> 00:14:33,613

Mm! Look, my dad

is a silly old man,

00:14:33,714 --> 00:14:35,617

and I promise

we can make this right.

00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:37,387

Chief Ravdi: Lightning!

Ow!

00:14:37,487 --> 00:14:38,890

You have

other sticks?

00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:40,460

Chief Ravdi: You better believe

we have other sticks!

00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:42,430

They're a stick-based

culture, which is why

00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:45,103

they shouldn't mind losing one.

Chief Ravdi: Biting flies!

00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,073

Ow! Ow! Damn you!

00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:48,544

Please, I see

that we made a mistake,

00:14:48,644 --> 00:14:50,781

and I'd love to make this right.

Why don't you stay

00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:53,018

and enjoy our many waterfalls

and lazy rivers?

00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:54,454

Chief Ravdi:

You don't get it!

00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,225

Or perhaps you'd

like to experience

00:14:56,325 --> 00:14:57,895

our world-famous

slip-then-slide?

00:14:57,996 --> 00:14:59,364

It turns accidents

into fun-ccidents.

00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,100

If we just get this thing

working again,

00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,540

I promise there's

enough water for everyone.

00:15:03,706 --> 00:15:05,042

Chief Ravdi:

Only there isn't!

00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:06,746

The weather stick

doesn't make water.

00:15:06,846 --> 00:15:08,783

It simply moves it

from place to place.

00:15:08,883 --> 00:15:11,556

So not only did you

steal our stick,

00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:13,292

you stole our lifeblood.

00:15:13,392 --> 00:15:16,499

Our livestock.

Our live... crops.

00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,005

Our vegetables!

Everything!

00:15:20,841 --> 00:15:22,177

Hello.

00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:24,214

Did you know about this?

Who's to say?

00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,151

I've heard a lot of things

over the years.

00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:29,158

They don't always stay with me.

Besides, I just gave you access

00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:31,162

to the stick, I didn't tell you

to drain the world!

00:15:31,295 --> 00:15:34,400

Chief Ravdi: Dust in your eyes!

Ow! Stop it!

00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:36,304

Chief Ravdi,

we needed water.

00:15:36,404 --> 00:15:38,476

My father saw that I was

in need, and while he should not

00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,747

have taken your weather stick

in the first place,

00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:42,752

surely you see

that he was simply trying

00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:44,755

to help out his son

in an emergency.

00:15:44,889 --> 00:15:46,458

Chief Ravdi:

It was no emergency!

00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,362

You're running a sexy

chariot wash!

00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:50,232

OK,

00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:52,237

it did get a little out of hand.

Chief Ravdi: Sunburn!

00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,107

Ow! If using

the water stick meant we were

00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:56,145

taking water from someplace

else, aren't you giving me

00:15:56,278 --> 00:15:58,115

somebody else's sunburn?

Chief Ravdi: Somehow,

00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,319

I don't think they're going

to complain! Sleet!

00:16:00,453 --> 00:16:02,858

Ah! How many sticks

do you guys have?

00:16:02,958 --> 00:16:04,662

Chief Ravdi: Lots!

What do I have

00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:06,098

to do to make it right?

00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,568

Chief Ravdi:

Give us the water back.

00:16:07,702 --> 00:16:09,437

All of it?

Chief Ravdi: Yes, all of it!

00:16:09,538 --> 00:16:11,743

OK, just let me think.

Ahem. Dad, you know these guys.

00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:13,244

What kind of damage

can they do?

00:16:13,245 --> 00:16:14,949

Just kind of this

relatively topical stuff?

00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:16,418

I don't know.

I'm not a stick man.

00:16:16,552 --> 00:16:18,188

I'm more of

a finders-keepers man.

00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:19,792

Of course

you don't know.

00:16:19,892 --> 00:16:22,497

It seems like the worst they can

do right now is biting flies.

00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:25,538

I'll just take my chances.

00:16:27,006 --> 00:16:29,177

Ravdi, you old bastard,

00:16:29,277 --> 00:16:32,183

you've built a bigger stick,

haven't you?

00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,187

This is probably

a stupid question,

00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,224

but where the hell are

Mom and the army?!

00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:38,563

It's still so hot.

And there's no moisture

00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:41,435

left in my body.

Gimme some of your helmet water.

00:16:41,536 --> 00:16:43,338

Get off!

I'm already flaking!

00:16:43,472 --> 00:16:45,511

Soldier 4: That was great.

Soldier 2: Yeah, last night,

00:16:45,611 --> 00:16:48,315

I drank wine till I was

disoriented and unable

00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,554

to perform sexually.

I feel ill today.

00:16:50,654 --> 00:16:52,592

Let's do it again tonight!

Weren't you one

00:16:52,692 --> 00:16:54,895

of the deserters trying

to leave Krapopolis?

00:16:55,029 --> 00:16:56,464

Soldier 4: Yeah.

Changed my mind, I guess.

00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,238

Turns out if I drink enough

and dance around at night,

00:16:59,338 --> 00:17:02,175

I forget my life

during the day is miserable.

00:17:02,176 --> 00:17:04,481

So people will stay

in the most disgusting,

00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,220

awful city if it has some kind

of "night life."

00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:09,224

We need a name

for this principle.

00:17:09,358 --> 00:17:11,228

Oh! What'd you say

your name was?

00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:13,065

Soldier 4: Miami.

Ehh...

00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:14,836

Technically I should

beat these deserters.

00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:18,042

But maybe letting them have fun

is better than clubbing them?

00:17:18,142 --> 00:17:20,514

That's what we

call it: "deserting"!

00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:23,485

No! "Clubbing."

Hey, Mom. You're up.

00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,624

Anybody pregnant in there?

I don't think so.

00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:28,630

Most of your troops had

too much wine to raise the flag,

00:17:28,763 --> 00:17:31,367

if you know what I mean.

Ohh, right.

00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:34,339

I think I know what you mean.

Well, it didn't help that

00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:37,380

your worshipers spent half the

night in the bathroom crying.

00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,384

Katie was going

through some stuff.

00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:41,154

You know, I think

we should do this again.

00:17:41,255 --> 00:17:42,992

Or at least, roughly

every seven days.

00:17:43,092 --> 00:17:45,430

We can call it

"Septimal Night Veneration."

00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,167

We're already

calling it "clubbing."

00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,937

Well, we'll see

what catches on first.

00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:51,174

So that's probably

some sort of doomsday stick,

00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:53,145

right?

I had no idea they have

00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,682

this kind of power.

I should have known

00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,552

there would be

crazy consequences if I used

00:17:56,686 --> 00:17:58,590

something from your magic box.

Yes, you should have,

00:17:58,690 --> 00:18:00,728

and I did warn you.

We have two options.

00:18:00,828 --> 00:18:03,332

Option one is we all die.

Option two is I give them back

00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:05,302

their water,

and people don't like me.

00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:07,007

I think it should be

fairly obvious, son.

00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:08,677

Yeah, easy for you to say.

00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,613

People have always liked you.

But now the Placeans are going

00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:13,218

to do whatever that stick does,

and the tickle trolls aren't

00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:15,256

even here, so I'm starting

to think they were just

00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:17,260

something you and Mom made up

to mess with me!

00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,930

Well, that's on you

for being thirty

00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,801

and still believing

in tickle trolls.

00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,773

But I believe I owe you

an apology.

00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:26,278

Any more to that?

00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:28,015

Oh, I haven't

done this in a while.

00:18:28,115 --> 00:18:30,887

I thought that would be enough.

What's called for, specifics?

00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:32,958

You're actually asking? Yes!

00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:34,528

All right, all right.

Um...

00:18:34,628 --> 00:18:37,568

I just hated seeing you being

unhappy and unliked, son.

00:18:37,668 --> 00:18:40,574

But as your dad,

I should get used to that.

00:18:40,674 --> 00:18:43,345

No? More? Is that enough?

It'll do.

00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:45,651

And, as a leader,

in the future, I should resist

00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:47,654

overpromising

and immediate gratification.

00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:49,892

True leadership lies

in under-promising,

00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:51,663

overdelivering,

and slow progress.

00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,699

Ha!

It's a whole back and forth!

00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,102

We're both apologizing!

00:18:55,236 --> 00:18:57,207

What fun we're having!

Ah, ha ha ha ha!

00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,213

Yes. You know,

we have done this before.

00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:03,251

Well, son, even if

this whole town turns on you--

00:19:03,252 --> 00:19:05,223

and they will--

I'll still love you.

00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:07,225

Thanks, Dad.

I guess no matter what,

00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:08,997

they will never be satisfied,

and that's something

00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:10,466

I have to be OK with

as king.

00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,772

I think I know what I

have to do.

00:19:12,905 --> 00:19:15,243

Everybody out of the pool.

Swim time is over.

00:19:15,343 --> 00:19:16,879

Boo!

00:19:17,013 --> 00:19:19,685

I'm not getting out

till my toes are all wrinkly!

00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,656

This water

you're all enjoying,

00:19:21,756 --> 00:19:23,425

and that's making you all

love me, was stolen.

00:19:23,526 --> 00:19:25,096

So I'm afraid it

must be returned.

00:19:25,229 --> 00:19:27,166

Boo!

Yes,

00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,537

you can hate me if you want.

We do!

00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:32,544

And I accept that.

00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:35,550

Or I will someday.

00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,100

Oof. Oww!

00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,771

Huh?

00:19:45,871 --> 00:19:47,575

Oh!

00:19:47,675 --> 00:19:49,645

Man 2: Oh--oof!

00:19:51,749 --> 00:19:53,653

There you go.

Chief Ravdi: And the stick?

00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:56,224

What? I can't sneak

anything past you guys.

00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,195

Are we good now?

Chief Ravdi: We're good.

00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:02,538

Now you know never to mess

with the Placeans.

00:20:02,705 --> 00:20:04,241

Ha ha ha ha! Man!

00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:07,648

That huge decoy stick

works every time.

00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,652

Well,

now that everyone hates me,

00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:12,356

I might as well drown

my sorrows in an orgy.

00:20:12,456 --> 00:20:14,059

No, no.

I have something else

00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:16,498

in my magic box for you.

It's a hug.

00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,134

But what about

the orgy lamp?

00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:21,407

Haven't you learned

anything? That's just for me.

00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:26,986

Tickle troll leader: Ah,

another delicious meal

00:20:27,086 --> 00:20:28,355

under another perfect moon.

00:20:28,455 --> 00:20:31,562

A tickle troll giggle

for this beautiful day!

00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,771

What's this?

What's happening?

00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:38,040

Tickle troll shaman:

I knew this day would come.

00:20:38,041 --> 00:20:39,745

It is prophesied.

00:20:39,845 --> 00:20:43,018

For millennia, we tickle trolls

lived in harmony with humans.

00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:44,755

We visited them

in their sleep,

00:20:44,855 --> 00:20:47,493

and they rewarded us

with their delicious laughter.

00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,701

Heh! But then, parents started

using us as a threat.

00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,704

"Beware the tickle trolls,"

they said.

00:20:52,804 --> 00:20:55,242

"Their name is

a fake-out," they said.

00:20:55,342 --> 00:20:58,082

"Brush your teeth or

the tickle trolls will get you!"

00:20:58,182 --> 00:21:01,087

"Don't wet your bed or the

tickle trolls will get you."

00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:03,660

Heh! No longer did the children

bless us with their laughter.

00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,264

They screamed

at the sight of us!

00:21:06,364 --> 00:21:08,035

So we stopped tickling them.

00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:09,738

Generations of kids grew up

00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:11,207

never even seeing us!

00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:13,010

They believed

they had been tricked.

00:21:13,011 --> 00:21:16,385

And just as foretold

by our sacred oral tradition,

00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:19,123

when the last little boy

stopped believing in us,

00:21:19,223 --> 00:21:21,563

we would disappear.

00:21:21,663 --> 00:21:23,567

Tickle troll leader: Wait.

You knew this day

00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,736

would come,

but you never told us?

00:21:25,737 --> 00:21:27,440

Tickle troll shaman:

It never came up.

00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:30,781

Tickle troll:

We have an oral tradition?

00:21:30,981 --> 00:21:32,684

Did you get any

of that?

00:21:34,722 --> 00:21:36,424

Bento.

00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:06,246

Tyrannis: Thank you all

for coming out.

00:00:06,346 --> 00:00:08,718

I know dry season has been

hard on all of us.

00:00:08,851 --> 00:00:09,953

Brutus: When is this

gonna be over?

00:00:10,087 --> 00:00:11,657

Miriam: I'm tired

of drinking sand.

00:00:11,824 --> 00:00:15,030

Joshua: My pee stream is like

half of what it used to be.

00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:17,034

Tyrannis: I get it.

We all hate dry season.

00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:19,038

But there are benefits.

Dry season drives

00:00:19,138 --> 00:00:21,241

the tickle trolls north,

far away from here.

00:00:21,242 --> 00:00:23,515

Brutus: What's so bad about the

tickle trolls? They sound fun.

00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,284

Tyrannis: Trust me, they gave

themselves that name

00:00:25,384 --> 00:00:27,221

to lure you in.

They are ruthless!

00:00:27,321 --> 00:00:29,225

But we'll get through this,

and as we all know,

00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:31,295

surviving hardship together

is what creates a sense

00:00:31,462 --> 00:00:32,933

of community.

Brutus: Does it?

00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,639

Tyrannis: Yes, sometimes! So,

to help us all get through it,

00:00:35,739 --> 00:00:38,243

I've organized Dry Fest.

We're making it fun,

00:00:38,376 --> 00:00:40,314

like we did

with swarming locust season.

00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:42,318

Joshua: No one enjoyed

Locust Fest.

00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:43,788

Tyrannis:

I seem to remember you

00:00:43,888 --> 00:00:45,191

winning

the locust-eating contest.

00:00:45,324 --> 00:00:48,029

Joshua: They flew

into my mouth when I yawned.

00:00:48,163 --> 00:00:49,298

Tyrannis: Are you gonna give

your medal back?

00:00:49,398 --> 00:00:50,935

Joshua:

Let's not go crazy.

00:00:51,036 --> 00:00:52,438

Tyrannis: OK, then.

We've got a lot

00:00:52,573 --> 00:00:54,341

of fun dry-season

activities planned.

00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:56,212

Later on, we'll have

a slam poetry contest

00:00:56,346 --> 00:00:58,116

called "What I Hate

About Dry Season!"

00:00:58,216 --> 00:00:59,586

Woman: This sucks!

Man: Yeah!

00:00:59,753 --> 00:01:01,455

Man 2: Window dressing at best!

Tyrannis: I'm sorry.

00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,260

What do you want me to do?

Brutus: Fix my melted house!

00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,963

Joshua:

Strengthen my pee stream!

00:01:05,097 --> 00:01:07,167

Miriam: Can you just

make it less dry?

00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:08,637

Tyrannis: Are you seriously

criticizing me

00:01:08,737 --> 00:01:11,075

for the weather now?

Miriam: Hey, you signed up

00:01:11,076 --> 00:01:13,045

for this when you called

yourself king.

00:01:13,046 --> 00:01:14,549

Brutus: I see this as more

of a referendum

00:01:14,649 --> 00:01:16,252

on his leadership in general.

[Citizens shout]

00:01:16,352 --> 00:01:18,156

Scott, slam poetry style:

Season's too dry,

00:01:18,256 --> 00:01:20,193

dust in my eye!

Pee stream's light

00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,697

and I blame King Ty!

00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:25,036

It's more of a referendum

on his leadership in general.

00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:27,976

Woman: Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:29,980

Tyrannis:

Slam poetry's canceled!

00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,317

[Theme music playing]

00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:41,035

♪

00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,306

[Male singers chanting]

00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:50,989

♪

00:01:51,089 --> 00:01:53,393

Singers: Whoo!

00:01:55,531 --> 00:01:57,468

Tyrannis: It was one thing

when they blamed me

00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:59,138

for the grain shortage.

That's on me

00:01:59,239 --> 00:02:00,740

for storing the grain

in the pig pen.

00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:02,746

And I'll take the hit for

the pig obesity problem, too.

00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:04,648

But the citizens are being

unreasonable here.

00:02:04,649 --> 00:02:07,922

Shlub: I'd say you've got

yourself a popularity problem.

00:02:08,056 --> 00:02:10,492

Stupendous: I got a problem.

My soldiers keep deserting

00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:13,166

because of the heat,

and the punishment for deserters

00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:14,536

is I gotta club 'em.

00:02:14,636 --> 00:02:16,473

Which wastes my arm

for like a day and a half.

00:02:16,574 --> 00:02:19,144

Isn't there a place

my soldiers could cool off?

00:02:19,278 --> 00:02:20,849

Tyrannis: OK, this is one

I can solve.

00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:22,351

Mom, your temple is

nice and cool.

00:02:22,451 --> 00:02:24,154

Could Stupe's soldiers use that

as their barracks?

00:02:24,288 --> 00:02:27,193

Deliria: Absolutely not!

My temple is for my worshipers.

00:02:27,194 --> 00:02:28,963

Tyrannis: Aren't you overstating

the number of worshipers

00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:31,236

you have by making it plural?

Deliria: For your information,

00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:33,240

I have picked up

a small contingent

00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:35,243

of very dedicated worshipers,

who love

00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:37,114

watching me turn

into various birds.

00:02:37,214 --> 00:02:38,783

Hippocampus: Bird watchers?

Deliria: Yes!

00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,688

Tyrannis: Stupe, just convert

your soldiers to Mom worshipers.

00:02:40,789 --> 00:02:43,460

Stupendous: That won't fly.

You know who soldiers worship.

00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,998

I can't say her name.

Deliria: You can say it.

00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,436

I have no problem

hearing her name.

00:02:48,571 --> 00:02:51,309

Stupendous: Athena.

Deliria: Never say her name!

00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:53,179

That was a test

and you failed.

00:02:53,313 --> 00:02:55,217

Hippocampus: Ty, I'm working

on something that can cool

00:02:55,317 --> 00:02:57,689

everyone down.

It's called air conditioning.

00:02:57,789 --> 00:02:59,425

Tyrannis: How does it work?

Hippocampus: No idea,

00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,262

I only have the name so far.

Tyrannis: Well,

00:03:01,362 --> 00:03:03,298

in the meantime, can you just

make the citizens heartier

00:03:03,299 --> 00:03:05,370

and not such crybabies?

Hippocampus: Are we talking

00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:07,809

about... selective breeding?

00:03:07,909 --> 00:03:10,080

Cuz just say the word.

I'll start the program.

00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,517

I'm itching to do it

with humans.

00:03:11,651 --> 00:03:13,286

Tyrannis: No!

No selective breeding.

00:03:13,386 --> 00:03:15,357

People should be free

to choose their life partners

00:03:15,457 --> 00:03:17,328

through the tried

and true system

00:03:17,428 --> 00:03:19,165

of arranged marriages

and brides for land.

00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,767

Stupendous: Mom, can we

please use your temple?

00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,605

Deliria: As long

as no one says that name.

00:03:22,705 --> 00:03:24,208

Stupendous: Great.

I'll get started.

00:03:24,308 --> 00:03:25,978

There's gonna be plenty

of room if we rip out

00:03:26,078 --> 00:03:27,247

a few friezes

and parapets.

00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,651

Deliria: Don't touch

my parapets!

00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,654

Shlub: Son, I really hate

to see you so down.

00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:33,226

I think I know what

you need to do.

00:03:33,326 --> 00:03:35,197

Tyrannis: Yes, just accept

that there are times

00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,234

in a king's reign when he isn't

universally beloved.

00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:39,238

Shlub: I was going to say cheat.

Tyrannis: Cheat?

00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:41,610

Shlub: Let me show you

something.

00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:44,182

It's in here somewhere.

Tyrannis: What is this stuff?

00:03:44,282 --> 00:03:46,218

Shlub: I've been alive

for thousands of years.

00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:48,255

I've collected a few

magic items in that time.

00:03:48,256 --> 00:03:50,728

Tyrannis: Oh, is this

a genie in a lamp?

00:03:50,828 --> 00:03:53,198

Shlub: Not quite.

It's an orgy in a lamp.

00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:54,902

Be careful with it.

00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:56,840

Woman, robocall voice:

Good morning, Master.

00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,478

You have one orgy left.

00:03:59,579 --> 00:04:00,948

Shlub: Nope, false alarm.

00:04:01,048 --> 00:04:02,753

I'm saving you

for a special occasion.

00:04:02,853 --> 00:04:04,989

[Lamp squeaks]

00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,363

Ah, here it is.

00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:10,367

This is a weather stick.

You can control

00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,337

the elements with it.

[Whooshing]

00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:14,508

Tyrannis: Whoa!

Where did you get this?

00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:17,180

Shlub: I got it from my friends,

the Placeans.

00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:20,020

It's quite flexible

if you know how to use it.

00:04:20,153 --> 00:04:22,124

[Thunder]

00:04:22,224 --> 00:04:24,261

Now, you and I both know

you have a hard time

00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:26,298

getting people to like you.

Tyrannis: Of course.

00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,236

Because I'm an authority figure.

Shlub: Sure,

00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,240

let's say it's that.

But in my thousands of years

00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:32,645

on this earth, one thing

has always been true:

00:04:32,779 --> 00:04:34,783

everyone loves you

if you have a pool.

00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,753

Tyrannis: That is true.

But I'm not going to cheat

00:04:36,854 --> 00:04:40,059

just to get people to love me.

Dry season serves a purpose.

00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:41,530

It drives

the tickle trolls north.

00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,667

Also, surviving hardships

together is what creates

00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,206

a sense of community

is what I'm telling them.

00:04:46,306 --> 00:04:48,243

Shlub: Suit yourself.

If you'll excuse me,

00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:50,346

it's nap time.

If Daddy doesn't nap,

00:04:50,447 --> 00:04:53,419

Daddy gets cranky.

00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:55,490

Hippocampus: Ugh,

this heat is unbearable.

00:04:55,592 --> 00:04:57,427

Look at my bowl.

I've got an algae bloom!

00:04:57,562 --> 00:04:59,532

Stupendous: All right, guys,

this is your new barracks.

00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:00,768

Deliria:

Hang on, hang on.

00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,139

My worshipers expect

an entrance.

00:05:03,273 --> 00:05:04,843

[Bird shrieks]

00:05:04,943 --> 00:05:06,680

Worshipers: Ooh!

00:05:06,814 --> 00:05:09,653

Worshiper 1: Oh, I know

that one! That's a kingfisher.

00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:12,190

Worshiper 2: Ooh, hooded crow!

Worshiper 1: Red-backed shrike!

00:05:12,191 --> 00:05:14,261

Show the plumage!

Show the plumage!

00:05:14,362 --> 00:05:16,265

Worshipers: Yeah!

00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,168

All hail Deliria!

00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:19,873

Deliria:

Thank you, thank you.

00:05:19,973 --> 00:05:21,275

It was hard.

I'm amazing.

00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,146

Thank you.

Hippocampus: Mom, I'm impressed.

00:05:23,246 --> 00:05:24,683

Bird nerds are

highly intelligent

00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:27,021

and socially inept,

which makes them

00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:28,591

even smarter,

in my opinion.

00:05:28,691 --> 00:05:30,227

Stupendous:

All right, guys, move in.

00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,464

Be respectful of the losers

if you can.

00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,702

Hippocampus: Huh.

Big, buff soldiers.

00:05:34,803 --> 00:05:36,272

Nerdy bird people.

00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:38,309

I can't remember.

Did Ty come out as pro-

00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:39,746

or anti-selective

breeding experiment?

00:05:39,847 --> 00:05:41,750

Deliria: You remember

things he says?

00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:43,955

Hippocampus: If we cross-bred

their intelligence

00:05:44,055 --> 00:05:46,425

with their muscles,

we'd create a super-citizen

00:05:46,426 --> 00:05:48,096

that could fight

and think.

00:05:48,196 --> 00:05:49,867

And also love birds,

I guess.

00:05:49,967 --> 00:05:51,871

Stupendous: Interesting.

Soldiers with lovers

00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:55,009

in the city are soldiers

who don't desert the city.

00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:57,715

Deliria: And if I had worshipers

who were smart and beefy,

00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,622

guess whose hair I'd be in?

Stupendous: Athena's?

00:06:00,755 --> 00:06:02,324

Deliria: I told you

to never say it!

00:06:02,457 --> 00:06:04,328

Angry bird exit!

[Crowd gasps]

00:06:04,461 --> 00:06:07,000

[Bird shrieks]

Man: Majestic.

00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,171

Tyrannis: Good citizens.

I think I have something

00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:11,042

that will make dry season

go a lot faster.

00:06:11,175 --> 00:06:13,680

What I'm wearing is called

a mud suit. Very cooling.

00:06:13,681 --> 00:06:15,383

Joshua: You think we

haven't tried that?

00:06:15,484 --> 00:06:17,488

It dries, and then

you're just dirty.

00:06:17,622 --> 00:06:20,060

Brutus: Come on, King Ty!

We want action!

00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:22,431

[Citizens murmur angrily]

00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:26,205

Tyrannis:

Who wants a pool?

00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:27,808

[Thunder]

00:06:27,942 --> 00:06:30,312

[Citizens cheering]

00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:32,818

Scott: Cannonball!

Citizens: Ooh!

00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:36,492

Scott: My leg's a little

broken, I think.

00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:39,999

Tyrannis: I'll be damned.

00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,736

The old Mantitaur was right.

00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:43,639

The whole city is in the pool.

00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,176

Even Baby Charybdis

is here.

00:06:45,276 --> 00:06:47,180

Baby Charybdis: Hey, Ty!

Great pool!

00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,151

Brutus: Hell yeah!

I love this pool!

00:06:49,251 --> 00:06:50,588

[Ball pops]

Baby Charybdis: Aw!

00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:52,592

Scott: Hail Tyrannis!

Hero of dry season!

00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,630

[Citizens cheer]

Tyrannis: Oh, you guys.

00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:56,399

I just want everyone

to have fun.

00:06:56,534 --> 00:06:58,402

Ah, Dad!

Shlub: I see you're having fun

00:06:58,503 --> 00:07:00,407

with the weather stick.

Glad you've come around.

00:07:00,508 --> 00:07:02,746

Just remember: a little

does go a long way.

00:07:02,846 --> 00:07:05,050

Tyrannis: Right, yeah, sure.

Shlub: I do say this

00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,786

as an expert in indulgence.

00:07:06,953 --> 00:07:08,757

Tyrannis: Indulgence, yes!

What's this now?

00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:11,296

Farmer: Uh, your grace?

Fantastic job with the pool.

00:07:11,429 --> 00:07:13,065

Tyrannis: No need

to thank me for the pool.

00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,738

Seeing my citizens refreshed

and grateful is enough.

00:07:15,838 --> 00:07:18,811

Farmer: One little thing.

My cows are dying of thirst.

00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:21,115

They're like my family.

Who I milk.

00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,688

Tyrannis: Oh, right. Well, I

wouldn't be "the people's king"

00:07:23,821 --> 00:07:25,992

if I didn't help out

your cow fam.

00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:27,394

What do you say

00:07:27,529 --> 00:07:30,200

to a world-class

irrigation system?

00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,371

Farmer:

I can't thank you enough!

00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:34,341

Please, take one

of my cow daughters.

00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:36,379

Do whatever with it!

Tyrannis: Oh, that's OK.

00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:38,584

Farmer: Go on.

Tyrannis: I'm not having sex

00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,020

with a cow!

Farmer: Huh?

00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:42,290

Tyrannis: What? Oh!

Farmer: Is that what you thought

00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:43,761

I was offering?

Tyrannis: No, no, no,

00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:45,598

of course not.

Sex, with a cow? Who would--

00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:48,571

No, I was just mentioning,

uh, that--in fact,

00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,808

you know what?

I will take one of those cows.

00:07:50,941 --> 00:07:53,312

Farmer: I don't think so.

Tyrannis: Right. Fair enough.

00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:55,785

Stupendous: OK, company!

Time for mess!

00:07:55,885 --> 00:07:57,955

Hippocampus: Seating

arrangements are mandatory!

00:07:58,055 --> 00:07:59,760

I don't expect them

to mate right away.

00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:02,230

As a male scientist,

I estimate 10 to 15 minutes

00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:05,203

of light conversation before

intercourse. Let's observe.

00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:07,942

Soldier 2: So you just believe

everything you see on urns?

00:08:08,042 --> 00:08:09,979

Worshiper 2: You think what,

the whole thing was faked?

00:08:10,079 --> 00:08:11,950

She didn't kill her kids?

Soldier 2: You're the one

00:08:12,050 --> 00:08:14,589

listening to mainstream Medea!

Hippocampus: Yikes.

00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:16,792

Let's try another table.

Soldier 3: I saw my best friend

00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,563

slaughtered at

the Battle of Thebes.

00:08:18,663 --> 00:08:20,902

He was standing as close

to me as you are right now.

00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:23,406

We were only boys.

Worshiper 1: Uhh...

00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:25,945

are you gonna ask me

anything about me?

00:08:26,078 --> 00:08:28,216

Hippocampus: Maybe this is gonna

be harder than we thought.

00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:30,386

Tyrannis: Ahem! Ahem!

Please note

00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,023

that persons having

active leprosy,

00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:34,729

or who have had leprosy

within the previous 14 days,

00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,867

shall not be allowed

to enter the pool.

00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,472

Leper: Aw!

Woman: My beloved king?

00:08:39,573 --> 00:08:41,242

We heard you're giving

away water

00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:42,745

and, well, we'd love some

00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:45,784

for Krapopolis' orphanage.

To bathe them and such.

00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:48,154

Tyrannis: You had me

at "my beloved king!"

00:08:48,155 --> 00:08:49,692

[Thunder]

00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,031

Shine up those motherless

boys and girls!

00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:54,267

Woman: Oh, we use the girls

for kindling,

00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,372

to heat the boys' baths.

Thanks!

00:08:56,507 --> 00:08:57,876

Long live King Ty!

00:08:58,009 --> 00:09:00,615

Man: King Ty? If you don't mind.

Tyrannis: Thank you.

00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:02,985

I was starting to think

about what that woman just said.

00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:06,559

She wasn't saying

that they burn the girls

00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,797

for kindling, was she?

00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:10,802

Man: I've heard you're

giving out water.

00:09:10,902 --> 00:09:12,572

Tyrannis: Yes, thank you!

Thank you again.

00:09:12,672 --> 00:09:14,843

Ooh, please, go ahead.

Man: I've kinda been debating

00:09:14,977 --> 00:09:16,780

adding a little pond

to my property,

00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:18,917

maybe putting some fish in it?

Tyrannis: Say no more.

00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:21,355

Will this do?

[Weather stick whooshes]

00:09:21,455 --> 00:09:23,025

[Thunder]

00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,764

Man: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[Chuckling] I mean, yeah,

00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:27,836

but I want to reiterate

that I'm still

00:09:27,936 --> 00:09:29,938

in the "waffling" phase here.

00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,912

I guess, if I decide

against the fish pond,

00:09:33,045 --> 00:09:34,916

I'll just dump this water

into a gulch.

00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,653

Tyrannis: Long as you're happy!

Who's next?

00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:38,691

[Horse nickers]

Well, hello, How can I help?

00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:40,561

Woman: Well,

I have this cactus.

00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:42,197

The soil feels

pretty moist, but--

00:09:42,297 --> 00:09:44,936

Tyrannis: Better safe

than succulent-less!

00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:46,873

[Weather stick sputters]

Oh. Hmm.

00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:50,647

That's weird.

Let me just...

00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:54,321

[Citizens cheer]

Woman: I'm not normally

00:09:54,421 --> 00:09:56,693

into someone with

your leg shape, but would you

00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,196

ever want to "hang out"?

Tyrannis: Absolutely.

00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:01,335

Maybe you'd like to see

the city's famous fountain show.

00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:04,742

Woman: You have a fountain show?

Tyrannis: We're about to!

00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:07,414

Hippocampus: Nothing like a

little game to get things going.

00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,485

Worshiper 1:

OK, this is a tough one.

00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,422

What... uh... I--hmm.

00:10:11,557 --> 00:10:13,025

I don't know.

[Bell rings]

00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:15,898

Soldier 3: Odobenus the Great?

How did we not get that?

00:10:15,998 --> 00:10:17,769

Worshiper 1: Am I supposed

to know who that is?

00:10:17,869 --> 00:10:19,740

Soldier 3: He's the jolly

walrus-man hybrid

00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,776

who forges our armor!

You could have given

00:10:21,777 --> 00:10:24,515

so many clue words!

Walrus! Man! Forge!

00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:27,688

Knowing smile! Likes to rape!

Hippocampus: I don't get it.

00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:29,424

This icebreaker

always works with mice.

00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:31,429

Stupendous: I don't think

smart people and people who can

00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,834

do a one-handed pull-up

are meant to talk to each other.

00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,406

Deliria: How are

my super-soldiers coming along?

00:10:36,507 --> 00:10:37,842

Hippocampus:

Not great yet.

00:10:38,009 --> 00:10:39,813

Deliria:

What an incredible surprise.

00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,017

Who would have guessed,

when the soldiers can see all

00:10:42,117 --> 00:10:44,021

the worshipers' veins,

and the worshipers can smell

00:10:44,155 --> 00:10:46,793

all the soldiers'...

well, all the soldiers.

00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,931

Here.

[Lightning sparks]

00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:50,534

[Crowd gasps]

Hippocampus: Hey!

00:10:50,635 --> 00:10:54,074

We're trying to create lasting

emotional connections here!

00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,245

Worshiper 3: Hi, I'm Katie.

My friends are annoying.

00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:58,482

Can I hang with you?

Stupendous: Stand down, Hippo.

00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,019

Hippocampus: But--come on!

I was just--

00:11:00,152 --> 00:11:01,923

Worshiper 4: Hey, do you want

to hear me talk about

00:11:02,023 --> 00:11:04,829

the Sardinian warbler

for a really long time?

00:11:04,929 --> 00:11:06,767

Hippocampus: Do I!

Worshiper 4: So, starting

00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,737

with the plumage...

00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:11,208

[Dance music playing]

00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:14,649

Shlub: Isn't instant

gratification

00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:16,686

just so incredibly

gratifying?

00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:18,757

Tyrannis: I don't know why

it took me so long.

00:11:18,857 --> 00:11:20,594

Joshua: Hey, Ty-bone!

Great pool.

00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:22,264

Tyrannis: People are

giving me nicknames!

00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:23,600

Joshua: You mean

new nicknames.

00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,069

Tyrannis: What was

my previous nickname?

00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:26,807

Joshua: Ha ha! We don't have

to get into that.

00:11:26,907 --> 00:11:28,510

Tyrannis: See, before,

they felt they couldn't get

00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,179

too close to me.

They were too concerned

00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:32,851

about the decorum between

a king and his subjects.

00:11:32,951 --> 00:11:34,287

Shlub: Let's say

that's it, yes.

00:11:34,387 --> 00:11:36,392

Tyrannis: But now, look at this.

Miriam, up top.

00:11:36,492 --> 00:11:38,195

Miriam:

Looking good, Not-Dork.

00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:39,898

Hey, can you wet down

my sandals?

00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,505

They just look better

with a little sheen.

00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,175

Tyrannis: Sure thing.

00:11:44,308 --> 00:11:46,212

Shlub: Son, might you be

overdoing it a little?

00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:48,115

Tyrannis: Whaaat?

Now who's the uptight one?

00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,787

Grab yourself a Ty Colada and

start your next nap right there.

00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:52,792

Joshua: Hey, you guys want

to see my pee stream?

00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:55,396

Tyrannis: Oh, Joshua, we really

don't need to see that--

00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,267

That is quite robust.

00:11:57,367 --> 00:12:00,173

[Loud dance music playing]

Stupendous: OK, this is crazy.

00:12:00,273 --> 00:12:02,712

Some of the soldiers

who deserted heard about this

00:12:02,812 --> 00:12:04,481

and came back,

with more soldiers!

00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:06,886

And everyone's humping!

Hippocampus: Something about

00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:09,324

the music and the darkness

and the alcohol.

00:12:09,325 --> 00:12:11,127

We've created an atmosphere

00:12:11,128 --> 00:12:13,266

of artificial sexual arousal!

00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:16,272

Stupendous: No one can hear

anything anyone is saying!

00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:18,710

And they're loving it!

00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:21,081

Hippocampus:

I'm gonna live forever!

00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:24,821

It's a feeling I'm having

right now due to the intensity

00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:27,393

of the atmosphere!

Deliria: What?

00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:29,030

Tyrannis: Oh, hey, Kolax,

there's probably gonna be

00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:31,035

a lot of citizens who want

to talk to me today.

00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,072

Kolax: Oh, no doubt, boss.

I'll keep 'em away.

00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:35,476

No one gets close.

That's the rule, right?

00:12:35,611 --> 00:12:36,913

Tyrannis: No, no,

that's the thing.

00:12:37,013 --> 00:12:38,416

Ordinarily I would need

protection,

00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:40,152

but I want to mingle with

the citizens now.

00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:41,824

Kolax: I can't let you.

It's too risky.

00:12:41,924 --> 00:12:43,727

Tyrannis: We're living

in a new era, Kolax.

00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,798

One where people like

their king.

00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,534

I'm parched.

Anyone want water?

00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:51,108

Yesterday I got this thing

to do both flat and bubbly.

00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,444

Ahem.

00:12:52,578 --> 00:12:54,982

Damn. What is wrong

with this thing?

00:12:55,082 --> 00:12:56,418

Shlub: I've never seen it

do that before.

00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,757

You may have overused it.

Tyrannis: Overused it?

00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,159

You can't overuse it.

00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,163

Can you overuse it?

Shlub: I don't know.

00:13:02,263 --> 00:13:03,901

Tyrannis: Well,

how do you fix it?

00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:05,604

Shlub: I don't know that, either.

00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:07,073

I've never been

in this situation before.

00:13:07,173 --> 00:13:08,810

Tyrannis: Well, we've got

to get it working.

00:13:08,811 --> 00:13:10,313

I'm in a really good place

right now.

00:13:10,447 --> 00:13:11,950

I've got citizens loving me,

cows winking at me.

00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,419

I need to keep this going.

Scott: King,

00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,791

we've got a problem.

The Placeans are here.

00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:17,226

Tyrannis: Oh, your friends

who gave us the stick.

00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:18,763

Maybe they can fix it.

Scott: Yeah, no.

00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,332

They're attacking.

Tyrannis: Attacking?

00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:24,473

Chief Ravdi: I am Chief Ravdi,

of the Placean people!

00:13:24,474 --> 00:13:25,844

Shlub: Ravdi, old friend!

00:13:25,978 --> 00:13:27,815

Chief Ravdi:

Don't "old friend" me, Shlub!

00:13:27,948 --> 00:13:30,854

You stole our weather stick!

Tyrannis: You stole it?!

00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:33,025

Chief Ravdi: Open your gates

or your whole city

00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:35,430

will pay the price!

Scott: Should we open the gates?

00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,267

Tyrannis: It doesn't really seem

like that's the best course

00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:39,036

of action, Scott, now, does it?!

Scott: I don't know!

00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:40,641

I just work here!

Tyrannis: Dad, fill me in.

00:13:40,741 --> 00:13:43,045

What have you not told me?

Shlub: Ravdi's a good fellow.

00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:45,884

This has to be

a simple misunderstanding.

00:13:45,885 --> 00:13:48,055

Chief Ravdi: Fire!

00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:52,965

Shlub: Maybe a misunderstanding

on my part. Ha ha!

00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:56,137

Ty: There's no need

for violence!

00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,307

I'm sure this is all

just a silly mix-up.

00:13:58,308 --> 00:14:00,213

Can we say that? Can we pretend

that's what it is?

00:14:00,313 --> 00:14:02,919

Chief Ravdi: The silly mix-up

was me allowing this thief

00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:05,357

to participate

in our Friendship Festival!

00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:08,295

Did those trust falls

mean nothing to you?

00:14:08,296 --> 00:14:09,999

Tyrannis: Dad, you told me

you got the weather stick

00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,535

from your friends.

Shlub: They are my friends,

00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:13,238

and I did get it.

Tyrannis: But he's saying

00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:15,443

you stole it!

Shlub: Stealing is a--hmm,

00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,882

it's a kind of getting,

but I didn't steal anything.

00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,353

I simply abided by the rules

of finders keepers.

00:14:20,486 --> 00:14:22,223

Tyrannis: Finders keepers?

Shlub: Yes, if you find

00:14:22,323 --> 00:14:24,963

something--here's the best bit--

you get to keep it.

00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:26,967

I guess when I said they

gave it to me, I meant

00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,071

they gave it to me

in a holistic sense,

00:14:29,171 --> 00:14:31,175

by leaving it somewhere

where I could find it.

00:14:31,341 --> 00:14:33,613

Tyrannis: Mm! Look, my dad

is a silly old man,

00:14:33,714 --> 00:14:35,617

and I promise

we can make this right.

00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:37,387

Chief Ravdi: Lightning!

Tyrannis: Ow!

00:14:37,487 --> 00:14:38,890

You have

other sticks?

00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:40,460

Chief Ravdi: You better believe

we have other sticks!

00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:42,430

Shlub: They're a stick-based

culture, which is why

00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:45,103

they shouldn't mind losing one.

Chief Ravdi: Biting flies!

00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,073

[Flies buzzing]

Shlub: Ow! Ow! Damn you!

00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:48,544

Tyrannis: Please, I see

that we made a mistake,

00:14:48,644 --> 00:14:50,781

and I'd love to make this right.

Why don't you stay

00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:53,018

and enjoy our many waterfalls

and lazy rivers?

00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:54,454

Chief Ravdi:

You don't get it!

00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,225

Tyrannis: Or perhaps you'd

like to experience

00:14:56,325 --> 00:14:57,895

our world-famous

slip-then-slide?

00:14:57,996 --> 00:14:59,364

It turns accidents

into fun-ccidents.

00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,100

If we just get this thing

working again,

00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,540

I promise there's

enough water for everyone.

00:15:03,706 --> 00:15:05,042

Chief Ravdi:

Only there isn't!

00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:06,746

The weather stick

doesn't make water.

00:15:06,846 --> 00:15:08,783

It simply moves it

from place to place.

00:15:08,883 --> 00:15:11,556

So not only did you

steal our stick,

00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:13,292

you stole our lifeblood.

00:15:13,392 --> 00:15:16,499

Our livestock.

Our live... crops.

00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,005

Our vegetables!

Everything!

00:15:20,841 --> 00:15:22,177

Shlub: Hello.

00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:24,214

Ty: Did you know about this?

Shlub: Who's to say?

00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,151

I've heard a lot of things

over the years.

00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:29,158

They don't always stay with me.

Besides, I just gave you access

00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:31,162

to the stick, I didn't tell you

to drain the world!

00:15:31,295 --> 00:15:34,400

Chief Ravdi: Dust in your eyes!

Shlub: Ow! Stop it!

00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:36,304

Tyrannis: Chief Ravdi,

we needed water.

00:15:36,404 --> 00:15:38,476

My father saw that I was

in need, and while he should not

00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,747

have taken your weather stick

in the first place,

00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:42,752

surely you see

that he was simply trying

00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:44,755

to help out his son

in an emergency.

00:15:44,889 --> 00:15:46,458

Chief Ravdi:

It was no emergency!

00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,362

You're running a sexy

chariot wash!

00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:50,232

[Chariot washers cheer]

Tyrannis: OK,

00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:52,237

it did get a little out of hand.

Chief Ravdi: Sunburn!

00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,107

Tyrannis: Ow! If using

the water stick meant we were

00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:56,145

taking water from someplace

else, aren't you giving me

00:15:56,278 --> 00:15:58,115

somebody else's sunburn?

Chief Ravdi: Somehow,

00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,319

I don't think they're going

to complain! Sleet!

00:16:00,453 --> 00:16:02,858

Tyrannis: Ah! How many sticks

do you guys have?

00:16:02,958 --> 00:16:04,662

Chief Ravdi: Lots!

Tyrannis: What do I have

00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:06,098

to do to make it right?

00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,568

Chief Ravdi:

Give us the water back.

00:16:07,702 --> 00:16:09,437

Tyrannis: All of it?

Chief Ravdi: Yes, all of it!

00:16:09,538 --> 00:16:11,743

Tyrannis: OK, just let me think.

Ahem. Dad, you know these guys.

00:16:11,843 --> 00:16:13,244

What kind of damage

can they do?

00:16:13,245 --> 00:16:14,949

Just kind of this

relatively topical stuff?

00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:16,418

Shlub: I don't know.

I'm not a stick man.

00:16:16,552 --> 00:16:18,188

I'm more of

a finders-keepers man.

00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:19,792

Tyrannis: Of course

you don't know.

00:16:19,892 --> 00:16:22,497

It seems like the worst they can

do right now is biting flies.

00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:25,538

I'll just take my chances.

[Chief Ravdi whistles]

00:16:25,638 --> 00:16:27,005

[Horses whinny]

00:16:27,006 --> 00:16:29,177

Shlub:

Ravdi, you old bastard,

00:16:29,277 --> 00:16:32,183

you've built a bigger stick,

haven't you?

00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,187

Tyrannis: This is probably

a stupid question,

00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,224

but where the hell are

Mom and the army?!

00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:38,563

Stupendous: It's still so hot.

And there's no moisture

00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:41,435

left in my body.

Gimme some of your helmet water.

00:16:41,536 --> 00:16:43,338

Hippocampus: Get off!

I'm already flaking!

00:16:43,472 --> 00:16:45,511

Soldier 4: That was great.

Soldier 2: Yeah, last night,

00:16:45,611 --> 00:16:48,315

I drank wine till I was

disoriented and unable

00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,554

to perform sexually.

I feel ill today.

00:16:50,654 --> 00:16:52,592

Let's do it again tonight!

Hippocampus: Weren't you one

00:16:52,692 --> 00:16:54,895

of the deserters trying

to leave Krapopolis?

00:16:55,029 --> 00:16:56,464

Soldier 4: Yeah.

Changed my mind, I guess.

00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,238

Turns out if I drink enough

and dance around at night,

00:16:59,338 --> 00:17:02,175

I forget my life

during the day is miserable.

00:17:02,176 --> 00:17:04,481

Hippocampus: So people will stay

in the most disgusting,

00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,220

awful city if it has some kind

of "night life."

00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:09,224

We need a name

for this principle.

00:17:09,358 --> 00:17:11,228

Oh! What'd you say

your name was?

00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:13,065

Soldier 4: Miami.

Hippocampus: Ehh...

00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:14,836

Stupendous: Technically I should

beat these deserters.

00:17:14,936 --> 00:17:18,042

But maybe letting them have fun

is better than clubbing them?

00:17:18,142 --> 00:17:20,514

Hippocampus: That's what we

call it: "deserting"!

00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:23,485

No! "Clubbing."

Stupendous: Hey, Mom. You're up.

00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,624

Anybody pregnant in there?

Deliria: I don't think so.

00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:28,630

Most of your troops had

too much wine to raise the flag,

00:17:28,763 --> 00:17:31,367

if you know what I mean.

Stupendous: Ohh, right.

00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:34,339

I think I know what you mean.

Well, it didn't help that

00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:37,380

your worshipers spent half the

night in the bathroom crying.

00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,384

Deliria: Katie was going

through some stuff.

00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:41,154

You know, I think

we should do this again.

00:17:41,255 --> 00:17:42,992

Or at least, roughly

every seven days.

00:17:43,092 --> 00:17:45,430

We can call it

"Septimal Night Veneration."

00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,167

Hippocampus: We're already

calling it "clubbing."

00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,937

Deliria: Well, we'll see

what catches on first.

00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:51,174

Tyrannis: So that's probably

some sort of doomsday stick,

00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:53,145

right?

Shlub: I had no idea they have

00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,682

this kind of power.

Tyrannis: I should have known

00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,552

there would be

crazy consequences if I used

00:17:56,686 --> 00:17:58,590

something from your magic box.

Shlub: Yes, you should have,

00:17:58,690 --> 00:18:00,728

and I did warn you.

Tyrannis: We have two options.

00:18:00,828 --> 00:18:03,332

Option one is we all die.

Option two is I give them back

00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:05,302

their water,

and people don't like me.

00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:07,007

Shlub: I think it should be

fairly obvious, son.

00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:08,677

Tyrannis:

Yeah, easy for you to say.

00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:10,613

People have always liked you.

But now the Placeans are going

00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:13,218

to do whatever that stick does,

and the tickle trolls aren't

00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:15,256

even here, so I'm starting

to think they were just

00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:17,260

something you and Mom made up

to mess with me!

00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,930

Shlub: Well, that's on you

for being thirty

00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,801

and still believing

in tickle trolls.

00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,773

But I believe I owe you

an apology.

00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:26,278

Tyrannis:

Any more to that?

00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:28,015

Shlub: Oh, I haven't

done this in a while.

00:18:28,115 --> 00:18:30,887

I thought that would be enough.

What's called for, specifics?

00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:32,958

Tyrannis:

You're actually asking? Yes!

00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:34,528

Shlub: All right, all right.

Um...

00:18:34,628 --> 00:18:37,568

I just hated seeing you being

unhappy and unliked, son.

00:18:37,668 --> 00:18:40,574

But as your dad,

I should get used to that.

00:18:40,674 --> 00:18:43,345

No? More? Is that enough?

Tyrannis: It'll do.

00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:45,651

And, as a leader,

in the future, I should resist

00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:47,654

overpromising

and immediate gratification.

00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:49,892

True leadership lies

in under-promising,

00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:51,663

overdelivering,

and slow progress.

00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,699

Shlub: Ha!

It's a whole back and forth!

00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,102

We're both apologizing!

00:18:55,236 --> 00:18:57,207

What fun we're having!

Ah, ha ha ha ha!

00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,213

Tyrannis: Yes. You know,

we have done this before.

00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:03,251

Shlub: Well, son, even if

this whole town turns on you--

00:19:03,252 --> 00:19:05,223

and they will--

I'll still love you.

00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:07,225

Tyrannis: Thanks, Dad.

I guess no matter what,

00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:08,997

they will never be satisfied,

and that's something

00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:10,466

I have to be OK with

as king.

00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,772

I think I know what I

have to do.

00:19:12,905 --> 00:19:15,243

Everybody out of the pool.

Swim time is over.

00:19:15,343 --> 00:19:16,879

Citizens: Boo!

00:19:17,013 --> 00:19:19,685

Joshua: I'm not getting out

till my toes are all wrinkly!

00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,656

Tyrannis: This water

you're all enjoying,

00:19:21,756 --> 00:19:23,425

and that's making you all

love me, was stolen.

00:19:23,526 --> 00:19:25,096

So I'm afraid it

must be returned.

00:19:25,229 --> 00:19:27,166

Citizens: Boo!

Tyrannis: Yes,

00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,537

you can hate me if you want.

Brutus: We do!

00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:32,544

Tyrannis:

And I accept that.

00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:35,550

Or I will someday.

00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,100

Man: Oof. Oww!

00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,771

Citizens: Huh?

00:19:45,871 --> 00:19:47,575

Woman: Oh!

00:19:47,675 --> 00:19:49,645

Man 2: Oh--oof!

00:19:51,749 --> 00:19:53,653

Tyrannis: There you go.

Chief Ravdi: And the stick?

00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:56,224

Tyrannis: What? I can't sneak

anything past you guys.

00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,195

Are we good now?

Chief Ravdi: We're good.

00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:02,538

Now you know never to mess

with the Placeans.

00:20:02,705 --> 00:20:04,241

Ha ha ha ha! Man!

00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:07,648

That huge decoy stick

works every time.

00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,652

Tyrannis: Well,

now that everyone hates me,

00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:12,356

I might as well drown

my sorrows in an orgy.

00:20:12,456 --> 00:20:14,059

Shlub: No, no.

I have something else

00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:16,498

in my magic box for you.

It's a hug.

00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,134

Tyrannis: But what about

the orgy lamp?

00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:21,407

Shlub: Haven't you learned

anything? That's just for me.

00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:26,986

Tickle troll leader: Ah,

another delicious meal

00:20:27,086 --> 00:20:28,355

under another perfect moon.

00:20:28,455 --> 00:20:31,562

A tickle troll giggle

for this beautiful day!

00:20:31,662 --> 00:20:34,033

[Laughter]

00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,771

What's this?

What's happening?

00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:38,040

Tickle troll shaman:

I knew this day would come.

00:20:38,041 --> 00:20:39,745

[Frog croaks]

It is prophesied.

00:20:39,845 --> 00:20:43,018

For millennia, we tickle trolls

lived in harmony with humans.

00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:44,755

We visited them

in their sleep,

00:20:44,855 --> 00:20:47,493

and they rewarded us

with their delicious laughter.

00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,701

Heh! But then, parents started

using us as a threat.

00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,704

"Beware the tickle trolls,"

they said.

00:20:52,804 --> 00:20:55,242

"Their name is

a fake-out," they said.

00:20:55,342 --> 00:20:58,082

"Brush your teeth or

the tickle trolls will get you!"

00:20:58,182 --> 00:21:01,087

"Don't wet your bed or the

tickle trolls will get you."

00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:03,660

Heh! No longer did the children

bless us with their laughter.

00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,264

They screamed

at the sight of us!

00:21:06,364 --> 00:21:08,035

So we stopped tickling them.

00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:09,738

Generations of kids grew up

00:21:09,838 --> 00:21:11,207

never even seeing us!

00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:13,010

They believed

they had been tricked.

00:21:13,011 --> 00:21:16,385

And just as foretold

by our sacred oral tradition,

00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:19,123

when the last little boy

stopped believing in us,

00:21:19,223 --> 00:21:21,563

we would disappear.

[Frog croaks]

00:21:21,663 --> 00:21:23,567

Tickle troll leader: Wait.

You knew this day

00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,736

would come,

but you never told us?

00:21:25,737 --> 00:21:27,440

Tickle troll shaman:

It never came up.

00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:30,781

Tickle troll:

We have an oral tradition?

00:21:30,981 --> 00:21:32,684

Man: Did you get any

of that?

00:21:34,722 --> 00:21:36,424

Woman: Bento.

[People cheer]