Дон Тиксот

00:00:05,945 --> 00:00:08,083

as one of many

tiny warring city-states.

00:00:08,183 --> 00:00:09,953

At least they

showed us as warring.

00:00:10,086 --> 00:00:12,391

My army is basically

just me these days.

00:00:12,491 --> 00:00:14,930

A ton of my best guys

got really into woodworking

00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:16,299

and stopped showing up.

00:00:16,399 --> 00:00:18,003

Ugh, not again!

00:00:18,103 --> 00:00:19,405

I just got this washed!

00:00:19,507 --> 00:00:21,677

Uhh! Excuse me,

King coming through!

00:00:21,777 --> 00:00:24,115

Uch, king of what?

Spilling gruel on yourself?

00:00:24,182 --> 00:00:25,317

I didn't spill it

on myself.

00:00:25,417 --> 00:00:26,753

One of my careless subjects

00:00:26,887 --> 00:00:28,090

dropped it out of a window

on me.

00:00:28,157 --> 00:00:29,125

Subjects?

00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:30,261

Is that what you think of us?

00:00:30,394 --> 00:00:31,697

I always thought

we were more like

00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:33,568

equally-valuable

acquaintances.

00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,104

I'm beginning

to think you have

00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:36,405

a leadership problem.

00:00:36,506 --> 00:00:37,842

No. It's a toga problem.

00:00:37,909 --> 00:00:39,111

I'm gonna pick up a couple

of spares

00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:40,480

at that menswear tent

over there--

00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,519

Aah! Oh, God,

it's happening again!

00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:44,623

Where is this gruel

coming from?

00:00:44,756 --> 00:00:46,059

Hello?

Is anyone here?

00:00:46,192 --> 00:00:48,765

It's King Tyrannis, and I'm

having a toga emergency.

00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:50,233

King Tyrannis, eh?

00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:51,837

It looks like you're

having quite a day.

00:00:51,938 --> 00:00:53,941

The name's Chira,

lonely war widow.

00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:56,780

I have to work in this menswear

tent because my husband died

00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,887

invading some place

he shouldn't have: my sister.

00:00:59,987 --> 00:01:01,590

- Oh, my God!

- Relax!

00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:03,293

That's just

a little war widow humor.

00:01:03,393 --> 00:01:05,230

But your

husband is dead, right?

00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:07,769

Oh, yeah, he is,

and he slept with my sister.

00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:11,142

But the bigger tragedy is,

I don't think that toga

00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:12,813

is doing you any favors.

00:01:12,913 --> 00:01:15,050

Why don't

you try this on?

00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,020

Ah! I think it would

look great on you.

00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:19,192

Oh, wow!

That is nice.

00:01:19,325 --> 00:01:21,329

I know what you're

thinking. You're the king.

00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,466

You should have more medals.

Let me get them.

00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,771

Yes, thank you.

Please, more medals.

00:01:25,905 --> 00:01:27,341

I like to tinkle when I walk.

00:01:27,441 --> 00:01:29,245

These bring

out your eyes.

00:01:29,345 --> 00:01:31,917

And I know you didn't mean

that you like to pee yourself

00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:33,320

when you walk.

00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,057

I'm a war widow, not an idiot.

00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:36,392

So whaddya say?

00:01:36,493 --> 00:01:38,296

Is my chest

getting bigger?

00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:40,100

I feel like I

could do anything!

00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,970

I feel like

you could, too.

00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:43,206

This is big.

00:01:43,306 --> 00:01:44,576

This is going to

change things for me.

00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:46,445

That's the power of

Chira's House

00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:49,886

of Secondhand

Dead Husband Stuff.

00:02:11,162 --> 00:02:13,867

Whoo!

00:02:16,373 --> 00:02:17,776

Ooooh, hello!

00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,112

Who's this commanding fellow?

00:02:19,245 --> 00:02:20,347

It's a pretty

good look, right?

00:02:20,481 --> 00:02:22,118

I can't believe

I'm saying this,

00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:24,823

but... yes, I didn't even know

you had good features,

00:02:24,956 --> 00:02:26,527

but they're all

popping right now.

00:02:26,661 --> 00:02:29,132

What happened to

the toga and the backup toga?

00:02:29,198 --> 00:02:30,668

Gruel again.

00:02:30,768 --> 00:02:32,371

Toga Ty was the old

Ty. I'm trying something new,

00:02:32,471 --> 00:02:33,841

and you know what I realized?

00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:36,078

We've been complacent with

mediocrity for too long.

00:02:36,178 --> 00:02:37,816

We need to make some

changes around here!

00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:38,984

Who is this son

00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:40,420

and where can I sign up

for some?

00:02:40,555 --> 00:02:42,190

Listen up.

This family needs to be

00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:44,094

more goal-oriented if we're

going to lead Krapopolis

00:02:44,194 --> 00:02:45,631

to a bigger

and better future.

00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:48,336

And that's my goal: a bigger

and better Krapopolis.

00:02:48,437 --> 00:02:49,973

Damn, this suit makes

me feel good!

00:02:50,107 --> 00:02:51,242

Dad, you start.

00:02:51,343 --> 00:02:52,512

Well, I'd like to

up the stakes

00:02:52,646 --> 00:02:54,750

of my sexual role play

with your mother.

00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,553

Things have been

a little same-same,

00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:59,559

which is still pretty wild

for other people, but not us.

00:02:59,659 --> 00:03:01,395

OK, so what's

holding you back?

00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,934

I suppose I can find

an old wizard who can turn me

00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,470

into anything I want.

00:03:05,571 --> 00:03:08,544

And I've been meaning

to try out some different forms.

00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:11,683

We can meet in a bar

as sexy strangers!

00:03:11,783 --> 00:03:15,023

Excellent!

Let the stranger-danger begin!

00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,292

Maybe it's not

an inspired goal,

00:03:16,392 --> 00:03:17,595

but at least

it's clearly defined.

00:03:17,695 --> 00:03:19,231

Hippo, what are

you working on?

00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:21,436

I've noticed you haven't

debuted anything in a while,

00:03:21,537 --> 00:03:22,805

so it must be pretty good.

00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,709

What?

Wh-why would I tell you that?

00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:26,814

I don't answer to you. I have

a lot of irons in the fire.

00:03:26,947 --> 00:03:30,321

In fact, I should check on 'em.

I'm checking on my irons!

00:03:30,421 --> 00:03:31,590

So, Stupe,

you sure have had time

00:03:31,690 --> 00:03:33,093

to comment on what

I'm doing,

00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:34,328

but what are you working on?

00:03:34,462 --> 00:03:35,898

I got a raid later.

00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:37,869

Nomadic tribe

in our hinterlands

00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:39,137

grazing their sheep!

00:03:39,238 --> 00:03:40,440

You're seriously

telling me

00:03:40,541 --> 00:03:42,010

that the greatest warrior

in the world

00:03:42,111 --> 00:03:44,281

is doing a raid

on nomadic shepherds?

00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:45,852

Yeah.

I'm gonna take their sheep

00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:47,589

and conscript the shepherds

into my army.

00:03:47,723 --> 00:03:49,726

I didn't say they were

peaceful shepherds.

00:03:49,826 --> 00:03:51,329

Well,

McGriddle me this:

00:03:51,462 --> 00:03:52,765

What ever happened

to Persia?

00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,335

You know I'd love

to sink my sword

00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,640

into that fat,

juicy empire, but...

00:03:56,740 --> 00:03:59,011

- But what?

- Frigging woodworking, man!

00:03:59,078 --> 00:04:00,715

That's why I gotta

raid and conscript

00:04:00,815 --> 00:04:02,952

and hope the new recruits

don't also have

00:04:03,019 --> 00:04:04,455

the jointing-and-planing bug.

00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:05,959

You told me I have

a leadership problem,

00:04:06,059 --> 00:04:09,064

but maybe you should take

a look in the mirror.

00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:15,512

Citizens

of Krapopolis!

00:04:15,612 --> 00:04:17,481

It is I,

your King Tyrannis!

00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,253

There's something

about you today! We're rapt!

00:04:21,523 --> 00:04:23,159

Good, because I

need a favor.

00:04:23,259 --> 00:04:25,598

Nay, I have a demand.

Nay, a decree!

00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:29,338

I decree that

all citizens will now be

00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:32,078

required to serve

mandatory military service.

00:04:32,178 --> 00:04:34,115

Yes, you there.

00:04:34,215 --> 00:04:35,618

Hello. Hi.

I'm Timon.

00:04:35,718 --> 00:04:37,923

Very excited

about following you anywhere.

00:04:37,989 --> 00:04:40,728

I'm a new dentist in town,

and I don't usually

00:04:40,861 --> 00:04:42,298

get to dress too crazy.

00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:44,569

Could we get cool

outfits, too?

00:04:44,669 --> 00:04:45,971

Hell, yeah!

I was thinking

00:04:46,071 --> 00:04:47,675

something pretty flashy--

maybe a breastplate

00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:49,345

and a helmet

with a spray of color.

00:04:49,445 --> 00:04:50,915

Ooh!

Can the breastplate

00:04:51,015 --> 00:04:52,317

have the outline

of muscles

00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,921

even if I

don't have muscles?

00:04:54,021 --> 00:04:55,424

- Yes, Joshua.

- Yes!

00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:56,861

Can the helmets

have those--

00:04:56,994 --> 00:04:59,398

OK, I have a picture of it,

but I'm trying--

00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:02,271

it's--it's almost like a...

like a plume, or like a--

00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:04,475

like it's shooting out

of your head sort of.

00:05:04,576 --> 00:05:05,812

Do you know what I mean?

00:05:05,912 --> 00:05:07,548

Something that someone sees

it from far away

00:05:07,648 --> 00:05:09,251

and goes,

"That's not a dentist.

00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,487

That can't be a dentist."

00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:11,924

But then they get up close,

00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:14,028

and they're like,

"Oh, this is a cool dentist."

00:05:14,162 --> 00:05:15,531

I think

that's a great idea,

00:05:15,665 --> 00:05:18,003

and I'll look forward to

learning what a "dentist" is.

00:05:18,103 --> 00:05:19,138

You might not love it.

00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,407

Uh, Barfus here.

00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:22,745

Citizen-goat slaughterer,

also new in town.

00:05:22,845 --> 00:05:24,883

Just one question:

can the uniform bottom

00:05:24,983 --> 00:05:26,085

be a kicky little skirt?

00:05:26,186 --> 00:05:27,756

My legs are my best

asset, you see.

00:05:27,823 --> 00:05:29,826

You got it, Barfus.

We're all gonna look great,

00:05:29,926 --> 00:05:32,532

and with your gorgeous help,

Krapopolis is going to grow

00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,335

to be an unstoppable empire!

00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,873

We're going to Persia!

00:05:36,973 --> 00:05:38,276

One last thing.

00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:40,815

Will you be the one

leading us into battle?

00:05:40,915 --> 00:05:42,685

I...

00:05:42,785 --> 00:05:44,121

will!

00:05:45,323 --> 00:05:46,961

I'm here! I'm here!

00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:48,697

- I'm here!

- OK. Why?

00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:51,269

I'm supposed to be

guarding this gate, but I just

00:05:51,336 --> 00:05:53,674

completely forgot

I had work today.

00:05:53,774 --> 00:05:56,412

Aaahh! Aaahh!

00:05:56,513 --> 00:05:57,882

What was that?!

00:05:58,016 --> 00:05:59,719

A Usurper Moth.

They can tell

00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:02,224

if a throne's about to be empty,

then infest it

00:06:02,324 --> 00:06:03,694

and take over

the whole city.

00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:05,865

I've never heard of

those, and I thought

00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,334

I knew all the moths!

00:06:07,502 --> 00:06:08,837

I am a big bug guy.

00:06:08,937 --> 00:06:11,610

OK, bug guy,

well, they're a serious threat.

00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:14,181

Luckily, I've invented

weapons for exactly

00:06:14,314 --> 00:06:15,518

this kind of situation.

00:06:15,618 --> 00:06:16,787

Well, that's

a good thing,

00:06:16,887 --> 00:06:18,356

because I would not know

what to do.

00:06:18,489 --> 00:06:19,726

Every time I try to defend

anything,

00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:21,930

I keep almost cutting off

my own head. Ha!

00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:23,232

Don't worry,

00:06:23,332 --> 00:06:24,736

because I've thought of

everything.

00:06:24,836 --> 00:06:26,740

These moths are coming here

looking for Krapopolis,

00:06:26,907 --> 00:06:28,711

and we're gonna give

'em Trapopolis!

00:06:28,845 --> 00:06:32,050

Well, all right. I guess

that makes sense, and I'll--

00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:34,622

Ohh! Aah!

00:06:37,762 --> 00:06:39,031

Look at these joikos.

00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:41,703

Stupendous!

Stupendous?!

00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:42,905

Oh, no!

00:06:43,005 --> 00:06:45,578

You needed guys?

Well, I've got guys.

00:06:45,678 --> 00:06:47,516

Are you kidding?

Thank you!

00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,017

Why don't you guys

start stretching

00:06:49,084 --> 00:06:50,119

while I talk to my sister?

00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:51,455

Ohh... ugh...

00:06:51,556 --> 00:06:53,528

This is so frickin' awesome!

00:06:53,628 --> 00:06:55,030

I'm sorry I ever doubted you!

00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:57,467

It is awesome,

but something my army and I

00:06:57,568 --> 00:06:59,772

were thinking is,

I should lead this one.

00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:01,777

The guys, they practically

demanded it,

00:07:01,877 --> 00:07:03,814

and you did say I

have a leadership problem.

00:07:03,914 --> 00:07:06,720

And inspiring an army

is a 2-person job.

00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:08,524

Really, this is

mostly your idea.

00:07:08,624 --> 00:07:10,894

For you to lead

my dream invasion of Persia?

00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,734

Well, at this point,

isn't it our dream invasion?

00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,437

I did get all these

soldiers.

00:07:15,538 --> 00:07:16,941

Yeah, and scared off

00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:19,478

those violent shepherds

I was gonna conscript!

00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,249

Actually,

we're right here!

00:07:21,349 --> 00:07:22,818

We're not attacking.

00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:25,858

We were just so inspired,

we want to join you!

00:07:27,027 --> 00:07:28,865

Go, Stuperannis!

00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:31,903

Or... Typendous or...

we'll figure it out.

00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:37,915

Bard,

I'm gonna need something

00:07:38,015 --> 00:07:40,354

soaring and inspirational

but also a little bit somber.

00:07:40,454 --> 00:07:41,724

Don't be afraid to be upbeat.

00:07:41,824 --> 00:07:43,493

Fear has no place

in my conquest. You got that?

00:07:43,594 --> 00:07:45,230

Soaring, inspirational,

00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:47,300

somber, and upbeat,

no fear.

00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,471

Anything for you.

00:07:49,539 --> 00:07:51,509

If you're

done with the music,

00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:53,479

I've laid out several

strategies here

00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:55,283

for "our" dream invasion.

00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,520

Don't love

the tone, but--

00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,055

Ohh, what

have you got here?

00:07:58,155 --> 00:07:58,957

Mind if I take a look?

00:07:59,057 --> 00:08:00,828

- Of course not!

- Of course, yes!

00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:03,767

This is top-secret information,

and you don't have clearance!

00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,974

Now, get outta here, dentist!

00:08:07,074 --> 00:08:09,646

Stealing my job

may have been weirdly easy,

00:08:09,746 --> 00:08:12,852

but invading frickin' Persia

is complicated!

00:08:12,986 --> 00:08:13,787

And what's this?

00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:15,323

Yogurt? Bees?

00:08:15,456 --> 00:08:17,026

This is all for your

breakfast, isn't it?

00:08:17,126 --> 00:08:19,231

It's a very important

meal, which I've had.

00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:20,634

Delicious!

00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,574

So, I'd say let's pack it up

and get moving.

00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,310

Let's go, troops!

We wouldn't want Persia

00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:26,946

to come to us first,

would we?

00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:29,752

Do you even have a plan?

00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:31,623

I was thinking

I'd impose some of our superior

00:08:31,756 --> 00:08:33,593

Krapopolian culture

on the Persians.

00:08:33,694 --> 00:08:35,564

Not necessarily impose,

just, you know,

00:08:35,664 --> 00:08:37,635

in case anyone

didn't get it at first.

00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:39,138

The invasion part, Ty.

00:08:39,205 --> 00:08:40,674

Oh. Well, you said

you had some plans.

00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:42,077

Why don't we use

a couple of those?

00:08:42,144 --> 00:08:43,680

Do you even know

if we're walking

00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:44,983

in the right direction?

00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:45,951

I...am

00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:48,289

going to roll the dice

and say yes.

00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:50,894

- Ugh! You're right.

- Yes!

00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,035

This is

the only way to Persia.

00:08:54,135 --> 00:08:55,738

How are you gonna get

through when it feels like

00:08:55,805 --> 00:08:57,440

2 mountains are

hugging you to death?

00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:59,779

Fellas,

let's get in formation.

00:09:00,982 --> 00:09:02,986

What the--

How did that work?

00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:04,656

Exactly the shape

I was thinking of!

00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:06,092

And I'll be the pointy point.

00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:07,829

You can't

be the pointy point!

00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:09,365

You'll be a sitting duck!

00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,537

I'll hold a shield!

00:09:11,604 --> 00:09:13,305

You took me by surprise,

00:09:13,406 --> 00:09:15,176

which is exactly

what we're going to do

00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,980

to the Persian army.

00:09:19,986 --> 00:09:23,860

A turtle

drinking piping-hot red wine?

00:09:23,994 --> 00:09:26,432

Like I wouldn't recognize

your signature drink.

00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:30,106

Oh, that is very funny, Shlub!

00:09:30,173 --> 00:09:31,375

Hello.

00:09:31,475 --> 00:09:33,580

I'm in town

for an insurance convention.

00:09:33,714 --> 00:09:36,318

I don't know anyone.

Do you come here often?

00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:37,889

I have

a feeling I will.

00:09:37,989 --> 00:09:41,630

I think it's time

for a random animal entrance.

00:09:45,069 --> 00:09:48,610

This is gonna be legendary.

00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,465

- Wow!

- I know, right?

00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:00,567

Get a load of this!

00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:07,247

You're

a friggin' genius!

00:10:07,347 --> 00:10:08,517

I Know!

00:10:08,617 --> 00:10:09,819

I'm tellin' ya,

00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:11,556

you're not taking

adequate precautions.

00:10:11,689 --> 00:10:12,958

Watch out for falling goats.

00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:14,696

It sounds weird,

but it happens.

00:10:14,796 --> 00:10:16,265

See?

00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,602

I'm on it!

00:10:18,303 --> 00:10:20,473

Everyone,

thank Barfus for dinner!

00:10:20,574 --> 00:10:22,945

I've got the marinade!

00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:27,755

Uhhhh!

00:10:27,855 --> 00:10:29,125

Nobody freak out.

00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:31,362

Think of this like being

sat on by a servant

00:10:31,462 --> 00:10:32,632

during a thunderstorm.

00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,100

Why do you

think anyone

00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,336

would get that but you?

00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:37,241

I can wrap my head

around the concept.

00:10:37,341 --> 00:10:38,577

There she is!

00:10:38,677 --> 00:10:40,681

I miss the real you,

although the other one

00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:42,451

did leave quite

the impression.

00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:45,122

You were a tiger.

Rrrowwwr!

00:10:45,189 --> 00:10:47,762

And you were a chair!

00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,464

Another hot red, barman!

00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,904

- Oh, that's odd.

- A turtle in a bar?

00:10:52,004 --> 00:10:53,540

Seems perfectly normal to me.

00:10:53,673 --> 00:10:55,745

That's not

the form you took earlier?

00:10:55,845 --> 00:10:58,550

It is not.

I was a sort of tiger man,

00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,419

which I thought we were

just discussing.

00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:02,090

- Does this mean--

- Deliria, darling,

00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:04,929

you fooled around

with a turtle. Ha ha!

00:11:05,063 --> 00:11:06,767

Well,

that means you did, too!

00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:10,541

Not a turtle, but--Wait

a minute. Did you say "chair"?

00:11:10,641 --> 00:11:12,512

Now, don't take

this the wrong way.

00:11:12,612 --> 00:11:14,414

Did you sleep

with a chair, Shlub?

00:11:14,515 --> 00:11:15,751

I thought

you were a chair,

00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:17,487

so I humped that chair.

A chair?!

00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:18,957

Well, now, hold on.

00:11:19,090 --> 00:11:21,194

How on Earth could

you think I was a chair?

00:11:21,261 --> 00:11:24,869

Shlub, this is a new low,

and not one of the good ones.

00:11:25,036 --> 00:11:25,971

A chair?

00:11:26,071 --> 00:11:28,409

Of all this world's

perversities,

00:11:28,543 --> 00:11:30,615

there is only

one I cannot abide:

00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:32,752

the kink-shame.

I'm off!

00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:36,793

You can't walk out!

I'm walking out!

00:11:36,893 --> 00:11:40,601

Humiliating animal exit!

00:11:40,735 --> 00:11:43,039

Well, that was

a cheap shot.

00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:45,811

Wow, these

moths just keep showing up!

00:11:45,911 --> 00:11:48,382

They're relentless.

00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:53,292

What are you doing?

00:11:53,392 --> 00:11:54,963

Uh, just making

sure we can see the moths

00:11:55,097 --> 00:11:56,766

when they attack?

Wait. Are you

00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:58,269

deliberately bringing

the moths here?

00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:01,710

What?

No, you crazy! That's--What?

00:12:01,843 --> 00:12:03,781

Blow out the candle,

then!

00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,824

I really didn't

expect you to know

00:12:08,924 --> 00:12:10,159

that light attracts moths.

00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:14,434

I told you,

I'm a big bug guy!

00:12:15,971 --> 00:12:17,941

Uhhhh! Aah!

00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:18,943

Uhh!

00:12:19,077 --> 00:12:20,413

Ah!

00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:23,820

Do you see this over there?

That's friggin' Persia!

00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:25,156

I get it!

This whole day

00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:26,926

has been a luck-filled

tickle party,

00:12:27,026 --> 00:12:28,797

but it's about to get real.

00:12:28,864 --> 00:12:30,868

You're gonna see blood comin'

out of places

00:12:30,968 --> 00:12:32,772

you didn't know blood was from.

00:12:32,872 --> 00:12:34,307

Stupe,

you're freaking them out.

00:12:34,441 --> 00:12:36,946

I should

freak them out! That's war!

00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,220

And all due respect to your

suit, I think I should be

00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,556

at the front lines.

00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:43,359

I'm a master of

hand-to-hand combat.

00:12:43,459 --> 00:12:46,398

I feel like some time over

the course of today,

00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:47,634

we all forgot that.

00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:48,971

If it's so important to you

00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:51,142

to be at the front,

go ahead.

00:12:53,112 --> 00:12:55,049

King of the Valley:

Ah, hello, hello!

00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:56,919

Sorry, I was just

washing my hair.

00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,857

I didn't expect anyone

at this hour.

00:12:58,957 --> 00:13:00,994

Invaders usually

wait until sundown.

00:13:01,095 --> 00:13:02,765

See? Element of surprise.

00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,467

Don't let your guard down.

00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:05,704

King of the Valley: Let

me guess--

00:13:05,804 --> 00:13:07,173

you're here to conquer us.

00:13:07,306 --> 00:13:08,910

It's the suit

that gave it away, isn't it?

00:13:09,010 --> 00:13:10,446

King of the Valley:

I mean, it's a great suit.

00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:13,419

But seriously, we're the

first city on the outskirts

00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:14,789

of the Persian empire.

00:13:14,889 --> 00:13:16,559

This kind of thing

happens all the time.

00:13:16,659 --> 00:13:18,196

Where's your army?

00:13:18,296 --> 00:13:19,933

King of the Valley: Hmm, at this

time of day? Probably napping,

00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,603

but they wouldn't get involved

with this anyway.

00:13:21,703 --> 00:13:24,074

They wouldn't get

involved with an invasion?

00:13:24,174 --> 00:13:25,611

King of the Valley:

Oh, if they did,

00:13:25,711 --> 00:13:27,013

they'd have no time

for their families!

00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:30,186

No, I'm serious.

This happens all the time.

00:13:30,253 --> 00:13:33,059

We don't really care

who's in charge.

00:13:33,159 --> 00:13:35,196

So, feel free to

introduce a new religion.

00:13:35,296 --> 00:13:37,100

And, of course, we expect

some kind of tax,

00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,637

so don't worry about that.

00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:40,708

Oh, and some conquerors

like to impose

00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:42,712

their architectural style,

00:13:42,845 --> 00:13:45,283

which I think makes

the city pretty eclectic,

00:13:45,383 --> 00:13:46,653

so, yeah, go for it.

00:13:46,753 --> 00:13:48,156

We just ask that

you don't kill us.

00:13:48,256 --> 00:13:49,592

I'm down for that.

Look at that, Stupe.

00:13:49,726 --> 00:13:50,861

It was that easy.

00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:52,097

Are you frickin' kidding me?

00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,534

You know there's

gotta be a catch.

00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,236

Or maybe my instincts

were just right,

00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:56,640

like they have been

this whole time.

00:13:56,706 --> 00:13:57,942

Is that so hard to believe?

00:13:58,042 --> 00:13:59,678

Yes!

It's impossible to believe!

00:13:59,812 --> 00:14:01,683

What are you

so upset about?

00:14:01,783 --> 00:14:03,252

What am I so upset about?

00:14:03,352 --> 00:14:05,457

You ruined conquering

Persia for me!

00:14:05,558 --> 00:14:06,860

What?

But we did it!

00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:09,364

No, you did it.

This was my dream.

00:14:09,497 --> 00:14:10,968

King of the Valley:

We get invaded every day,

00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:12,504

but we don't see this

every day.

00:14:12,671 --> 00:14:14,809

Maybe it was your

dream, but you never did it.

00:14:14,909 --> 00:14:16,245

That dream was up for grabs.

00:14:16,378 --> 00:14:18,216

I think you're just mad

because you lost your groove

00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,588

when your army left you

to make birdhouses.

00:14:20,755 --> 00:14:22,323

I hate you

in that suit!

00:14:22,456 --> 00:14:25,129

King of the Valley: Hoo-hoo!

That seemed pretty messy,

00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:29,104

but we've got a dynamite tub if

you want to clean yourself up.

00:14:29,238 --> 00:14:31,475

OK, that didn't make

much sense,

00:14:31,576 --> 00:14:33,045

but you can take a bath.

00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:35,416

Please take a bath.

00:14:37,813 --> 00:14:39,256

So, you're

new around here, huh?

00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:41,460

Yeah. I heard

this was a soldiers' bar.

00:14:41,461 --> 00:14:43,331

Wanted to come be

around my people.

00:14:43,332 --> 00:14:45,638

Ohh, look who's up

from their naps!

00:14:45,771 --> 00:14:47,908

Cheers. You got a new

goof-off king.

00:14:48,042 --> 00:14:49,377

Persian soldier: Hey!

You're General Stupendous

00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:51,182

of Krapopolis, aren't you?

Uh-huh.

00:14:51,282 --> 00:14:53,452

I wish we could have met

under different circumstances

00:14:53,553 --> 00:14:55,090

because you look like

good strong guys

00:14:55,223 --> 00:14:57,461

who would put up a fight.

00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,600

A net?

Are you kidding me?

00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,370

Aah!

00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:05,911

King of the Valley:

King Ty? Your sister is back.

00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:07,080

I don't want to

talk to her

00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,684

unless she's here

to apologize.

00:15:08,817 --> 00:15:10,252

Does she look sheepish?

00:15:10,386 --> 00:15:12,858

King of the Valley: I guess I've

seen a sheep in a cage before,

00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:14,194

so, yeah, kind of.

00:15:14,328 --> 00:15:15,664

I told you

there'd be a catch!

00:15:15,764 --> 00:15:16,867

I told you it

wouldn't be easy!

00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:18,369

What is

happening here?

00:15:18,504 --> 00:15:20,006

We had a gentleman's

agreement about my takeover.

00:15:20,106 --> 00:15:21,510

I thought you were

conquered all the time.

00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:23,045

King of the Valley:

If you don't learn something

00:15:23,179 --> 00:15:24,448

every time you get conquered,

00:15:24,516 --> 00:15:26,284

what are you even doing

being the guy

00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:29,592

who runs the city on the far

reaches of the Persian empire?

00:15:29,693 --> 00:15:30,961

It's not personal.

00:15:31,061 --> 00:15:32,464

I'm coming, Stupe!

00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:33,533

Shlub!

00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,871

I half-expected you to be

off on one of your

00:15:35,971 --> 00:15:37,240

lost centuries.

00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:38,877

I owe you an apology.

00:15:38,977 --> 00:15:40,847

I wasn't mad about

the kink-shame,

00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,052

which is, of course,

the ultimate kink.

00:15:43,119 --> 00:15:45,957

I was mad about the turtle

and ashamed to admit it.

00:15:46,024 --> 00:15:48,129

Oh, the turtle

meant nothing.

00:15:48,229 --> 00:15:50,767

Honestly, it only appealed to me

because I thought it was you.

00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:54,108

Turtles don't normally talk, and

this one really talked like you.

00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:55,410

Well, that's peculiar.

00:15:55,511 --> 00:15:56,847

You know, it makes

me wonder

00:15:56,913 --> 00:15:58,048

if that turtle was

someone else

00:15:58,148 --> 00:15:59,384

who had

visited your wizard.

00:15:59,484 --> 00:16:01,757

Ha! Shagging a chair

is quite odd.

00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:03,259

Its legs were very sexy.

00:16:03,359 --> 00:16:05,731

And I know how you are,

so I expected a challenge.

00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,033

What did you turn into anyway?

00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,137

Oh, the dowdiest

mortal woman.

00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:10,508

You should have seen it.

00:16:10,608 --> 00:16:12,343

Oh, I would have

been all over that.

00:16:12,477 --> 00:16:13,580

I know!

00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,984

Maybe we shouldn't

complicate things so much.

00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:18,088

Or... this was a success.

00:16:18,188 --> 00:16:20,527

We wanted to spice things up,

and we both felt jealousy

00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:24,267

for the first time--me for

a chair, you for a turtle--

00:16:24,368 --> 00:16:26,338

and I don't know

what criteria you use,

00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:29,044

but that's pretty

spicy to me.

00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:30,781

You're right.

Now, come over here

00:16:30,881 --> 00:16:32,016

and let me sit on you.

00:16:32,150 --> 00:16:34,021

Why'd you do it, Hippo?

00:16:34,121 --> 00:16:35,591

I needed a win, OK?

00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:38,362

Everyone always expects

so much from me, and I keep

00:16:38,462 --> 00:16:40,499

churning out inventions

that never get used,

00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,704

and then the minute I can't

think of a good idea,

00:16:42,838 --> 00:16:45,644

my stupid brother shows up

in a confidence suit.

00:16:45,744 --> 00:16:48,315

That's gotta be tough,

but I don't know the feeling.

00:16:48,448 --> 00:16:50,352

I wish someone would

expect something from me.

00:16:50,419 --> 00:16:53,192

My father wasn't really

around growing up, and I--

00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:54,762

I've got to stop you.

00:16:54,862 --> 00:16:56,533

I didn't even know you were

a palace guard until today.

00:16:56,633 --> 00:16:58,537

I can't pretend we have

this kind of relationship.

00:16:58,637 --> 00:17:00,674

We should probably just grab

a couple of mops

00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:02,043

and clean this up.

00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:03,445

If you're so hard up

for ideas,

00:17:03,546 --> 00:17:05,951

why not invent something

that cleans up moth guts?

00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:08,388

That's not a bad idea!

00:17:08,488 --> 00:17:10,794

Thank you...

00:17:10,894 --> 00:17:12,798

Scott!

My name is Scott!

00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,000

I'm a palace guard!

00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:17,073

Why do you guys

never remember me?!

00:17:17,173 --> 00:17:18,408

What is

going on here?

00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:19,913

They had

a strategy, Ty,

00:17:20,046 --> 00:17:21,482

which we should have had,

which I did have.

00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,219

And she was properly

wary of Barfus and me.

00:17:23,352 --> 00:17:25,390

What? Why would anyone

be wary of you guys?

00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:27,795

Because we're spies,

ya nimrod.

00:17:27,895 --> 00:17:29,063

Of course they are.

00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:30,299

But Timon

is a dentist.

00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:31,903

He talks about

it all the time.

00:17:32,003 --> 00:17:33,372

There's no such

thing as a dentist!

00:17:33,439 --> 00:17:34,942

Why would anyone

clean a tooth?

00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:37,346

It's just gonna get more food

on it the next time you eat.

00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,518

But you put your

hands in all of our mouths.

00:17:39,619 --> 00:17:42,156

You have no idea how

many times I wanted to tell you

00:17:42,256 --> 00:17:44,128

I thought you was right

and Ty was wrong,

00:17:44,194 --> 00:17:45,496

but part of being a spy

00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:48,002

is keeping

that sort of thing to yourself.

00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:49,605

I appreciate

that, Barfus.

00:17:49,706 --> 00:17:51,475

King of the Valley: First of

all, I want to thank you guys

00:17:51,576 --> 00:17:53,780

for this opportunity to

make some demands

00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,085

on another kingdom for a change.

00:17:56,218 --> 00:17:57,555

It's super refreshing!

00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,491

Can't you

just break out of that cage?

00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:01,529

Maybe,

if you'd apologize.

00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,099

I'm sorry, OK?

You were right.

00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:04,836

Thank you!

Now, of course I can

00:18:04,969 --> 00:18:06,371

break out of this cage,

00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:08,977

but I'm not gonna just take on

these guys on my own.

00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:10,647

I was right,

but I'm not stupid.

00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:13,152

You got us into this,

you gotta get us out.

00:18:13,252 --> 00:18:14,454

What are the demands?

00:18:14,555 --> 00:18:16,058

King of the Valley:

Immediate retreat,

00:18:16,158 --> 00:18:17,293

and we get control

of the mountain pass

00:18:17,393 --> 00:18:18,563

you took to get in here.

00:18:18,663 --> 00:18:20,266

Make him

give up that suit.

00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:21,536

King of the Valley: All right,

I don't care.

00:18:21,669 --> 00:18:23,238

Oh, and make him say,

00:18:23,338 --> 00:18:25,343

"I'm a silly king who

didn't know what I was doing

00:18:25,443 --> 00:18:27,146

and got in over my head."

00:18:27,213 --> 00:18:28,482

Seriously, Stupe?

Why don't you tell us

00:18:28,616 --> 00:18:30,119

how you

let yourself get captured?

00:18:30,186 --> 00:18:31,590

I'm sure there wasn't

any silliness there.

00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:33,392

Persian Soldier:

She was drinking in our bar.

00:18:33,527 --> 00:18:35,229

Persian Soldier 2: We were

gonna go and get her after,

00:18:35,329 --> 00:18:37,300

but then there she was,

just sitting there in our bar.

00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:38,970

Persian soldier 1:

Our Persian soldier bar!

00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:40,273

Persian Soldier 2:

So, we were like,

00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:41,909

"Should we just

bust out the net?"

00:18:41,976 --> 00:18:43,680

OK, OK.

Truce.

00:18:43,746 --> 00:18:45,617

King of the

So... you guys good?

00:18:45,717 --> 00:18:48,590

- Hmm?

- Um, yeah...

00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:51,529

King of the Valley: I love it!

I'm gonna dine out on this story

00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:52,665

for a long time.

00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,002

Aah!

00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,872

Well, that was a bust.

00:18:56,973 --> 00:18:58,843

Yeah,

but can I be honest?

00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:00,547

I kind of do like suit you.

00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:02,250

I was in a rut, and you gave

me something

00:19:02,317 --> 00:19:03,419

to be excited about again.

00:19:03,553 --> 00:19:05,255

Thank you for saying that.

00:19:05,356 --> 00:19:07,828

Honestly, I got so wrapped up

in finally getting respect.

00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:09,164

At least we got off easy.

00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,834

Sure.

What could the Persians do

00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:13,806

with control of the only known

overland pass to Krapopolis

00:19:13,906 --> 00:19:16,044

and the knowledge of

when and how to cross it?

00:19:16,177 --> 00:19:17,781

Let's call that

a tomorrow problem.

00:19:17,848 --> 00:19:19,985

Ooh, what kind of song

would you like for this?

00:19:20,085 --> 00:19:21,388

An inspirational dirge?

00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,359

- Go to hell, Bard!

- Give it a rest, Bard.

00:19:23,459 --> 00:19:24,662

You know who I miss?

00:19:24,729 --> 00:19:26,398

That guy we yell at, yeah.

00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,503

Uh, what's

his name? S...

00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:31,207

- Scooter.

- No. Scoo--Ska--Ska?

00:19:31,341 --> 00:19:32,711

Ska! Skaa...n.

00:19:32,811 --> 00:19:35,216

Ugh! why did I

think it would be a good idea

00:19:35,349 --> 00:19:36,519

to do this in the dark?

00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:37,955

Is that snow?

Is it snowing?

00:19:38,088 --> 00:19:39,457

What?

Ohh...

00:19:39,558 --> 00:19:41,028

Everybody,

find your buddies and hold on.

00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:42,330

We can do this!

00:19:42,396 --> 00:19:43,767

My buddy is a goat.

Is that OK?

00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:45,937

When we retaliate,

let's send Joshua

00:19:46,038 --> 00:19:47,273

to the front line.

00:19:47,339 --> 00:19:49,010

I was thinking

exactly the same thing.

00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:52,283

Anybody

can be Skaan!

00:19:52,383 --> 00:19:53,887

Tyrannis and Stupendous:

Ha ha ha!

00:19:53,953 --> 00:19:57,661

They're gonna find out

nobody laughs at Joshua.

00:19:57,794 --> 00:20:00,499

Heh heh heh!

00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,369

Joshua!

00:20:05,009 --> 00:20:07,046

So, did the suit not work

out?

00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:08,082

No, it did.

00:20:08,282 --> 00:20:10,787

I conquered Persia, but then

I realized I didn't have

00:20:10,887 --> 00:20:13,292

to wear a different outfit

to be myself.

00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:15,163

Well, if everyone

has that realization,

00:20:15,296 --> 00:20:16,866

I'll be out of a job.

00:20:18,335 --> 00:20:20,139

Also, sounds like

a pretty incomplete version

00:20:20,239 --> 00:20:22,210

of the story,

but I know what you're saying.

00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:24,549

Sometimes I feel like

I can't really be myself.

00:20:24,649 --> 00:20:26,652

Take my dead husband.

He took an arrow

00:20:26,786 --> 00:20:28,422

through the ear hole

in Mycenae.

00:20:28,557 --> 00:20:32,230

I toyed with the idea of selling

a hat that looked like that,

00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:34,201

with an arrow

through your head,

00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:35,970

but who's gonna buy

something fun like that

00:20:36,071 --> 00:20:37,040

from a war widow?

00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,409

People got no sense of humor.

00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:39,846

Well, I think

it's pretty funny.

00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:42,785

Don't doubt yourself.

I appreciate that.

00:20:42,918 --> 00:20:44,120

Turn her back!

00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:45,523

I have professional

integrity.

00:20:45,624 --> 00:20:47,794

I'm not gonna undo

any spell unless--

00:20:47,894 --> 00:20:49,131

Turn her back!

00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:50,299

Miriam, as the chair:

Oh, for God's sakes.

00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:51,468

Wizard, it's OK.

00:20:51,569 --> 00:20:53,105

Zap.

00:20:53,239 --> 00:20:54,708

There, Scott.

Ya happy now?

00:20:54,808 --> 00:20:57,013

I mean, we just started

sleeping together, and you're

00:20:57,113 --> 00:20:58,482

already pulling this?

00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,920

Everything was going

great until this wizard--

00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:03,058

Hey! Don't blame me

for your problems.

00:21:03,158 --> 00:21:05,263

I'm just an immigrant from the

North trying to make a living

00:21:05,363 --> 00:21:06,833

for my wizlands!

00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,769

Look, Scott, if you want

to be with me, you have

00:21:08,903 --> 00:21:12,377

to understand that sometimes

I like to be a sexy chair.

00:21:12,477 --> 00:21:14,047

I'm fine with that!

00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,819

But just sometimes,

can you want to be

00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:20,059

a sexy chair with me?

00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:21,195

Mm!

00:21:21,295 --> 00:21:22,664

I hate these

slip-trip...

00:21:26,004 --> 00:21:27,040

flappers.

00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:28,275

Oh, hey, Paizo.

00:21:28,408 --> 00:21:30,948

You taste so good.

00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:32,617

Did you get any of that?

00:21:35,022 --> 00:21:36,525

Bento.

00:00:05,945 --> 00:00:08,083

as one of many

tiny warring city-states.

00:00:08,183 --> 00:00:09,953

Stupendous: At least they

showed us as warring.

00:00:10,086 --> 00:00:12,391

My army is basically

just me these days.

00:00:12,491 --> 00:00:14,930

A ton of my best guys

got really into woodworking

00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:16,299

and stopped showing up.

00:00:16,399 --> 00:00:18,003

[Splash]

Tyrannis: Ugh, not again!

00:00:18,103 --> 00:00:19,405

I just got this washed!

00:00:19,507 --> 00:00:21,677

Uhh! Excuse me,

King coming through!

00:00:21,777 --> 00:00:24,115

Joshua: Uch, king of what?

Spilling gruel on yourself?

00:00:24,182 --> 00:00:25,317

Tyrannis: I didn't spill it

on myself.

00:00:25,417 --> 00:00:26,753

One of my careless subjects

00:00:26,887 --> 00:00:28,090

dropped it out of a window

on me.

00:00:28,157 --> 00:00:29,125

Miriam: Subjects?

00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:30,261

Is that what you think of us?

00:00:30,394 --> 00:00:31,697

I always thought

we were more like

00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:33,568

equally-valuable

acquaintances.

00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,104

Stupendous: I'm beginning

to think you have

00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:36,405

a leadership problem.

00:00:36,506 --> 00:00:37,842

Tyrannis:

No. It's a toga problem.

00:00:37,909 --> 00:00:39,111

I'm gonna pick up a couple

of spares

00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:40,480

at that menswear tent

over there--

00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,519

Aah! Oh, God,

it's happening again!

00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:44,623

Where is this gruel

coming from?

00:00:44,756 --> 00:00:46,059

Hello?

Is anyone here?

00:00:46,192 --> 00:00:48,765

It's King Tyrannis, and I'm

having a toga emergency.

00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:50,233

Chira: King Tyrannis, eh?

00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:51,837

It looks like you're

having quite a day.

00:00:51,938 --> 00:00:53,941

The name's Chira,

lonely war widow.

00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:56,780

I have to work in this menswear

tent because my husband died

00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,887

invading some place

he shouldn't have: my sister.

00:00:59,987 --> 00:01:01,590

- Oh, my God!

- Relax!

00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:03,293

That's just

a little war widow humor.

00:01:03,393 --> 00:01:05,230

Tyrannis: But your

husband is dead, right?

00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:07,769

Chira: Oh, yeah, he is,

and he slept with my sister.

00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:11,142

But the bigger tragedy is,

I don't think that toga

00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:12,813

is doing you any favors.

00:01:12,913 --> 00:01:15,050

Why don't

you try this on?

00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,020

Ah! I think it would

look great on you.

00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:19,192

Tyrannis: Oh, wow!

That is nice.

00:01:19,325 --> 00:01:21,329

Chira: I know what you're

thinking. You're the king.

00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,466

You should have more medals.

Let me get them.

00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,771

Tyrannis: Yes, thank you.

Please, more medals.

00:01:25,905 --> 00:01:27,341

I like to tinkle when I walk.

00:01:27,441 --> 00:01:29,245

Chira: These bring

out your eyes.

00:01:29,345 --> 00:01:31,917

And I know you didn't mean

that you like to pee yourself

00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:33,320

when you walk.

00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,057

I'm a war widow, not an idiot.

00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:36,392

So whaddya say?

00:01:36,493 --> 00:01:38,296

Tyrannis: Is my chest

getting bigger?

00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:40,100

I feel like I

could do anything!

00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,970

Chira: I feel like

you could, too.

00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:43,206

Tyrannis: This is big.

00:01:43,306 --> 00:01:44,576

This is going to

change things for me.

00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:46,445

Chira: That's the power of

Chira's House

00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:49,886

of Secondhand

Dead Husband Stuff.

00:01:52,057 --> 00:01:54,261

[Theme music playing]

00:01:54,395 --> 00:02:01,008

♪

00:02:01,108 --> 00:02:03,413

[Male singers chanting]

00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:11,028

♪

00:02:11,162 --> 00:02:13,867

Singers: Whoo!

00:02:16,373 --> 00:02:17,776

Shlub: Ooooh, hello!

00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,112

Who's this commanding fellow?

00:02:19,245 --> 00:02:20,347

Tyrannis: It's a pretty

good look, right?

00:02:20,481 --> 00:02:22,118

Deliria: I can't believe

I'm saying this,

00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:24,823

but...yes, I didn't even know

you had good features,

00:02:24,956 --> 00:02:26,527

but they're all

popping right now.

00:02:26,661 --> 00:02:29,132

Stupendous: What happened to

the toga and the backup toga?

00:02:29,198 --> 00:02:30,668

Gruel again.

00:02:30,768 --> 00:02:32,371

Tyrannis: Toga Ty was the old

Ty. I'm trying something new,

00:02:32,471 --> 00:02:33,841

and you know what I realized?

00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:36,078

We've been complacent with

mediocrity for too long.

00:02:36,178 --> 00:02:37,816

We need to make some

changes around here!

00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:38,984

Deliria: Who is this son

00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:40,420

and where can I sign up

for some?

00:02:40,555 --> 00:02:42,190

Tyrannis: Listen up.

This family needs to be

00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:44,094

more goal-oriented if we're

going to lead Krapopolis

00:02:44,194 --> 00:02:45,631

to a bigger

and better future.

00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:48,336

And that's my goal: a bigger

and better Krapopolis.

00:02:48,437 --> 00:02:49,973

Damn, this suit makes

me feel good!

00:02:50,107 --> 00:02:51,242

Dad, you start.

00:02:51,343 --> 00:02:52,512

Shlub: Well, I'd like to

up the stakes

00:02:52,646 --> 00:02:54,750

of my sexual role play

with your mother.

00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,553

Deliria: Things have been

a little same-same,

00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:59,559

which is still pretty wild

for other people, but not us.

00:02:59,659 --> 00:03:01,395

Tyrannis: OK, so what's

holding you back?

00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,934

Shlub: I suppose I can find

an old wizard who can turn me

00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,470

into anything I want.

00:03:05,571 --> 00:03:08,544

Deliria: And I've been meaning

to try out some different forms.

00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:11,683

We can meet in a bar

as sexy strangers!

00:03:11,783 --> 00:03:15,023

Shlub: Excellent!

Let the stranger-danger begin!

00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,292

Tyrannis: Maybe it's not

an inspired goal,

00:03:16,392 --> 00:03:17,595

but at least

it's clearly defined.

00:03:17,695 --> 00:03:19,231

Hippo, what are

you working on?

00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:21,436

I've noticed you haven't

debuted anything in a while,

00:03:21,537 --> 00:03:22,805

so it must be pretty good.

00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,709

Hippocampus: What?

Wh-why would I tell you that?

00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:26,814

I don't answer to you. I have

a lot of irons in the fire.

00:03:26,947 --> 00:03:30,321

In fact, I should check on 'em.

I'm checking on my irons!

00:03:30,421 --> 00:03:31,590

Tyrannis: So, Stupe,

you sure have had time

00:03:31,690 --> 00:03:33,093

to comment on what

I'm doing,

00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:34,328

but what are you working on?

00:03:34,462 --> 00:03:35,898

Stupendous:

I got a raid later.

00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:37,869

Nomadic tribe

in our hinterlands

00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:39,137

grazing their sheep!

00:03:39,238 --> 00:03:40,440

Tyrannis: You're seriously

telling me

00:03:40,541 --> 00:03:42,010

that the greatest warrior

in the world

00:03:42,111 --> 00:03:44,281

is doing a raid

on nomadic shepherds?

00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:45,852

Stupendous: Yeah.

I'm gonna take their sheep

00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:47,589

and conscript the shepherds

into my army.

00:03:47,723 --> 00:03:49,726

I didn't say they were

peaceful shepherds.

00:03:49,826 --> 00:03:51,329

Tyrannis: Well,

McGriddle me this:

00:03:51,462 --> 00:03:52,765

What ever happened

to Persia?

00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,335

Stupendous: You know I'd love

to sink my sword

00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,640

into that fat,

juicy empire, but...

00:03:56,740 --> 00:03:59,011

- But what?

- Frigging woodworking, man!

00:03:59,078 --> 00:04:00,715

That's why I gotta

raid and conscript

00:04:00,815 --> 00:04:02,952

and hope the new recruits

don't also have

00:04:03,019 --> 00:04:04,455

the jointing-and-planing bug.

00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:05,959

Tyrannis: You told me I have

a leadership problem,

00:04:06,059 --> 00:04:09,064

but maybe you should take

a look in the mirror.

00:04:09,198 --> 00:04:13,941

♪

00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:15,512

Tyrannis: Citizens

of Krapopolis!

00:04:15,612 --> 00:04:17,481

It is I,

your King Tyrannis!

00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,253

Scott: There's something

about you today! We're rapt!

00:04:20,353 --> 00:04:21,456

[Cheering]

00:04:21,523 --> 00:04:23,159

Tyrannis: Good, because I

need a favor.

00:04:23,259 --> 00:04:25,598

Nay, I have a demand.

Nay, a decree!

00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:26,800

[Crowd cheering]

00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:29,338

I decree that

all citizens will now be

00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:32,078

required to serve

mandatory military service.

00:04:32,178 --> 00:04:34,115

[Crowd groans]

Yes, you there.

00:04:34,215 --> 00:04:35,618

Timon: Hello. Hi.

I'm Timon.

00:04:35,718 --> 00:04:37,923

Very excited

about following you anywhere.

00:04:37,989 --> 00:04:40,728

I'm a new dentist in town,

and I don't usually

00:04:40,861 --> 00:04:42,298

get to dress too crazy.

00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:44,569

Could we get cool

outfits, too?

00:04:44,669 --> 00:04:45,971

Tyrannis: Hell, yeah!

I was thinking

00:04:46,071 --> 00:04:47,675

something pretty flashy--

maybe a breastplate

00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:49,345

and a helmet

with a spray of color.

00:04:49,445 --> 00:04:50,915

Crowd: Ooh!

Joshua: Can the breastplate

00:04:51,015 --> 00:04:52,317

have the outline

of muscles

00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,921

even if I

don't have muscles?

00:04:54,021 --> 00:04:55,424

- Yes, Joshua.

- Yes!

00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:56,861

Timon: Can the helmets

have those--

00:04:56,994 --> 00:04:59,398

OK, I have a picture of it,

but I'm trying--

00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:02,271

it's--it's almost like a...

like a plume, or like a--

00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:04,475

like it's shooting out

of your head sort of.

00:05:04,576 --> 00:05:05,812

Do you know what I mean?

00:05:05,912 --> 00:05:07,548

Something that someone sees

it from far away

00:05:07,648 --> 00:05:09,251

and goes,

"That's not a dentist.

00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,487

That can't be a dentist."

00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:11,924

But then they get up close,

00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:14,028

and they're like,

"Oh, this is a cool dentist."

00:05:14,162 --> 00:05:15,531

Tyrannis: I think

that's a great idea,

00:05:15,665 --> 00:05:18,003

and I'll look forward to

learning what a "dentist" is.

00:05:18,103 --> 00:05:19,138

Timon: You might not love it.

00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,407

Barfus: Uh, Barfus here.

00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:22,745

Citizen-goat slaughterer,

also new in town.

00:05:22,845 --> 00:05:24,883

Just one question:

can the uniform bottom

00:05:24,983 --> 00:05:26,085

be a kicky little skirt?

00:05:26,186 --> 00:05:27,756

My legs are my best

asset, you see.

00:05:27,823 --> 00:05:29,826

Tyrannis: You got it, Barfus.

We're all gonna look great,

00:05:29,926 --> 00:05:32,532

and with your gorgeous help,

Krapopolis is going to grow

00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,335

to be an unstoppable empire!

00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,873

We're going to Persia!

[Cheering]

00:05:36,973 --> 00:05:38,276

Timon: One last thing.

00:05:38,376 --> 00:05:40,815

Will you be the one

leading us into battle?

00:05:40,915 --> 00:05:42,685

Tyrannis: I...

00:05:42,785 --> 00:05:44,121

will!

00:05:44,221 --> 00:05:45,190

[Cheering]

00:05:45,323 --> 00:05:46,961

Scott: I'm here! I'm here!

00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:48,697

- I'm here!

- OK. Why?

00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:51,269

Scott: I'm supposed to be

guarding this gate, but I just

00:05:51,336 --> 00:05:53,674

completely forgot

I had work today.

00:05:53,774 --> 00:05:56,412

Aaahh! Aaahh!

00:05:56,513 --> 00:05:57,882

What was that?!

00:05:58,016 --> 00:05:59,719

Hippocampus: A Usurper Moth.

They can tell

00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:02,224

if a throne's about to be empty,

then infest it

00:06:02,324 --> 00:06:03,694

and take over

the whole city.

00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:05,865

Scott: I've never heard of

those, and I thought

00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,334

I knew all the moths!

00:06:07,502 --> 00:06:08,837

I am a big bug guy.

00:06:08,937 --> 00:06:11,610

Hippocampus: OK, bug guy,

well, they're a serious threat.

00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:14,181

Luckily, I've invented

weapons for exactly

00:06:14,314 --> 00:06:15,518

this kind of situation.

00:06:15,618 --> 00:06:16,787

Scott: Well, that's

a good thing,

00:06:16,887 --> 00:06:18,356

because I would not know

what to do.

00:06:18,489 --> 00:06:19,726

Every time I try to defend

anything,

00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:21,930

I keep almost cutting off

my own head. Ha!

00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:23,232

Hippocampus: Don't worry,

00:06:23,332 --> 00:06:24,736

because I've thought of

everything.

00:06:24,836 --> 00:06:26,740

These moths are coming here

looking for Krapopolis,

00:06:26,907 --> 00:06:28,711

and we're gonna give

'em Trapopolis!

00:06:28,845 --> 00:06:32,050

Scott: Well, all right. I guess

that makes sense, and I'll--

00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:34,622

Ohh! Aah!

00:06:36,492 --> 00:06:37,629

[Sheep bleating]

00:06:37,762 --> 00:06:39,031

Stupendous:

Look at these joikos.

00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:41,703

Tyrannis: Stupendous!

Shepherd: Stupendous?!

00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:42,905

Men: Oh, no!

00:06:43,005 --> 00:06:45,578

Tyrannis: You needed guys?

Well, I've got guys.

00:06:45,678 --> 00:06:47,516

Stupendous: Are you kidding?

Thank you!

00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,017

Tyrannis: Why don't you guys

start stretching

00:06:49,084 --> 00:06:50,119

while I talk to my sister?

00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:51,455

Men: Ohh...ugh...

00:06:51,556 --> 00:06:53,528

Stupendous:

This is so frickin' awesome!

00:06:53,628 --> 00:06:55,030

I'm sorry I ever doubted you!

00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:57,467

Tyrannis: It is awesome,

but something my army and I

00:06:57,568 --> 00:06:59,772

were thinking is,

I should lead this one.

00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:01,777

The guys, they practically

demanded it,

00:07:01,877 --> 00:07:03,814

and you did say I

have a leadership problem.

00:07:03,914 --> 00:07:06,720

And inspiring an army

is a 2-person job.

00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:08,524

Really, this is

mostly your idea.

00:07:08,624 --> 00:07:10,894

Stupendous: For you to lead

my dream invasion of Persia?

00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,734

Tyrannis: Well, at this point,

isn't it our dream invasion?

00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,437

I did get all these

soldiers.

00:07:15,538 --> 00:07:16,941

Stupendous:

Yeah, and scared off

00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:19,478

those violent shepherds

I was gonna conscript!

00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,249

Shepherd: Actually,

we're right here!

00:07:21,349 --> 00:07:22,818

We're not attacking.

00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:25,858

We were just so inspired,

we want to join you!

00:07:27,027 --> 00:07:28,865

Tyrannis: Go, Stuperannis!

00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:31,903

Or...Typendous or...

we'll figure it out.

00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:37,915

Tyrannis: Bard,

I'm gonna need something

00:07:38,015 --> 00:07:40,354

soaring and inspirational

but also a little bit somber.

00:07:40,454 --> 00:07:41,724

Don't be afraid to be upbeat.

00:07:41,824 --> 00:07:43,493

Fear has no place

in my conquest. You got that?

00:07:43,594 --> 00:07:45,230

Bard: Soaring, inspirational,

00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:47,300

somber, and upbeat,

no fear.

00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,471

Anything for you.

[Playing several notes]

00:07:49,539 --> 00:07:51,509

Stupendous: If you're

done with the music,

00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:53,479

I've laid out several

strategies here

00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:55,283

for "our" dream invasion.

00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,520

Tyrannis: Don't love

the tone, but--

00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,055

Timon: Ohh, what

have you got here?

00:07:58,155 --> 00:07:58,957

Mind if I take a look?

00:07:59,057 --> 00:08:00,828

- Of course not!

- Of course, yes!

00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:03,767

This is top-secret information,

and you don't have clearance!

00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,974

Now, get outta here, dentist!

00:08:07,074 --> 00:08:09,646

Stealing my job

may have been weirdly easy,

00:08:09,746 --> 00:08:12,852

but invading frickin' Persia

is complicated!

00:08:12,986 --> 00:08:13,787

And what's this?

00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:15,323

[Bees buzzing]

Yogurt? Bees?

00:08:15,456 --> 00:08:17,026

This is all for your

breakfast, isn't it?

00:08:17,126 --> 00:08:19,231

Tyrannis: It's a very important

meal, which I've had.

00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:20,634

Delicious!

00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,574

So, I'd say let's pack it up

and get moving.

00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,310

Let's go, troops!

We wouldn't want Persia

00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:26,946

to come to us first,

would we?

00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,216

[Sheep bleating]

00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:29,752

Stupendous:

Do you even have a plan?

00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:31,623

Tyrannis: I was thinking

I'd impose some of our superior

00:08:31,756 --> 00:08:33,593

Krapopolian culture

on the Persians.

00:08:33,694 --> 00:08:35,564

Not necessarily impose,

just, you know,

00:08:35,664 --> 00:08:37,635

in case anyone

didn't get it at first.

00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:39,138

Stupendous:

The invasion part, Ty.

00:08:39,205 --> 00:08:40,674

Tyrannis: Oh. Well, you said

you had some plans.

00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:42,077

Why don't we use

a couple of those?

00:08:42,144 --> 00:08:43,680

Stupendous: Do you even know

if we're walking

00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:44,983

in the right direction?

00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:45,951

Tyrannis: I...am

00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:48,289

going to roll the dice

and say yes.

00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:50,894

- Ugh! You're right.

- Yes!

00:08:50,995 --> 00:08:52,565

♪

00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,035

Stupendous: This is

the only way to Persia.

00:08:54,135 --> 00:08:55,738

How are you gonna get

through when it feels like

00:08:55,805 --> 00:08:57,440

2 mountains are

hugging you to death?

00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:59,779

Tyrannis: Fellas,

let's get in formation.

00:09:00,982 --> 00:09:02,986

Stupendous: What the--

How did that work?

00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:04,656

Tyrannis: Exactly the shape

I was thinking of!

00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:06,092

And I'll be the pointy point.

00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:07,829

Stupendous: You can't

be the pointy point!

00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:09,365

You'll be a sitting duck!

00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,537

Tyrannis: I'll hold a shield!

00:09:11,604 --> 00:09:13,305

[Shield thuds]

You took me by surprise,

00:09:13,406 --> 00:09:15,176

which is exactly

what we're going to do

00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,980

to the Persian army.

00:09:17,114 --> 00:09:18,917

[Soldiers cheering]

00:09:19,986 --> 00:09:23,860

Deliria: A turtle

drinking piping-hot red wine?

00:09:23,994 --> 00:09:26,432

Like I wouldn't recognize

your signature drink.

00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:30,106

[Laughing]

Oh, that is very funny, Shlub!

00:09:30,173 --> 00:09:31,375

Deliria: Hello.

00:09:31,475 --> 00:09:33,580

I'm in town

for an insurance convention.

00:09:33,714 --> 00:09:36,318

I don't know anyone.

Do you come here often?

00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:37,889

Turtle: I have

a feeling I will.

00:09:37,989 --> 00:09:41,630

Deliria: I think it's time

for a random animal entrance.

00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:44,969

Stupendous: [Humming]

00:09:45,069 --> 00:09:48,610

This is gonna be legendary.

[Pounding on door]

00:09:53,018 --> 00:09:54,956

[Growls]

00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,465

- Wow!

- I know, right?

00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:00,567

Get a load of this!

00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:03,105

[Screeching]

00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:07,247

Scott: You're

a friggin' genius!

00:10:07,347 --> 00:10:08,517

Hippocampus: I Know!

00:10:08,617 --> 00:10:09,819

Stupendous: I'm tellin' ya,

00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:11,556

you're not taking

adequate precautions.

00:10:11,689 --> 00:10:12,958

Watch out for falling goats.

00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:14,696

It sounds weird,

but it happens.

00:10:14,796 --> 00:10:16,265

[Goat bleating]

See?

00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,602

Barfus: I'm on it!

00:10:18,303 --> 00:10:20,473

Tyrannis: Everyone,

thank Barfus for dinner!

00:10:20,574 --> 00:10:22,945

[Cheering]

Joshua: I've got the marinade!

00:10:23,012 --> 00:10:23,981

[Laughter]

00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:25,551

[Growls]

00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:27,755

Uhhhh!

00:10:27,855 --> 00:10:29,125

Tyrannis: Nobody freak out.

00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:31,362

Think of this like being

sat on by a servant

00:10:31,462 --> 00:10:32,632

during a thunderstorm.

00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,100

Stupendous: Why do you

think anyone

00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,336

would get that but you?

00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:37,241

Joshua: I can wrap my head

around the concept.

00:10:37,341 --> 00:10:38,577

Shlub: There she is!

00:10:38,677 --> 00:10:40,681

I miss the real you,

although the other one

00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:42,451

did leave quite

the impression.

00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:45,122

You were a tiger.

Rrrowwwr!

00:10:45,189 --> 00:10:47,762

Shlub: And you were a chair!

[Grunts]

00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,464

Turtle: Another hot red, barman!

00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,904

- Oh, that's odd.

- A turtle in a bar?

00:10:52,004 --> 00:10:53,540

Seems perfectly normal to me.

00:10:53,673 --> 00:10:55,745

Deliria: That's not

the form you took earlier?

00:10:55,845 --> 00:10:58,550

Shlub: It is not.

I was a sort of tiger man,

00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,419

which I thought we were

just discussing.

00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:02,090

- Does this mean--

- Deliria, darling,

00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:04,929

you fooled around

with a turtle. Ha ha!

00:11:05,063 --> 00:11:06,767

Deliria: Well,

that means you did, too!

00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:10,541

Not a turtle, but--Wait

a minute. Did you say "chair"?

00:11:10,641 --> 00:11:12,512

Shlub: Now, don't take

this the wrong way.

00:11:12,612 --> 00:11:14,414

Deliria: Did you sleep

with a chair, Shlub?

00:11:14,515 --> 00:11:15,751

Shlub: I thought

you were a chair,

00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:17,487

so I humped that chair.

Deliria: A chair?!

00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:18,957

Shlub: Well, now, hold on.

00:11:19,090 --> 00:11:21,194

Deliria: How on Earth could

you think I was a chair?

00:11:21,261 --> 00:11:24,869

Shlub, this is a new low,

and not one of the good ones.

00:11:25,036 --> 00:11:25,971

A chair?

00:11:26,071 --> 00:11:28,409

Shlub: Of all this world's

perversities,

00:11:28,543 --> 00:11:30,615

there is only

one I cannot abide:

00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:32,752

the kink-shame.

I'm off!

00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:36,793

Deliria: You can't walk out!

I'm walking out!

00:11:36,893 --> 00:11:40,601

Humiliating animal exit!

00:11:40,735 --> 00:11:43,039

Turtle: Well, that was

a cheap shot.

00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:45,811

Scott: Wow, these

moths just keep showing up!

00:11:45,911 --> 00:11:48,382

They're relentless.

00:11:50,755 --> 00:11:51,757

[Striking]

00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:53,292

Scott: What are you doing?

00:11:53,392 --> 00:11:54,963

Hippocampus: Uh, just making

sure we can see the moths

00:11:55,097 --> 00:11:56,766

when they attack?

Scott: Wait. Are you

00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:58,269

deliberately bringing

the moths here?

00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:01,710

Hippocampus: What?

No, you crazy! That's--What?

00:12:01,843 --> 00:12:03,781

Scott: Blow out the candle,

then!

00:12:03,914 --> 00:12:05,517

[Fluttering noise fades]

00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,824

Hippocampus: I really didn't

expect you to know

00:12:08,924 --> 00:12:10,159

that light attracts moths.

00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:14,434

Scott: I told you,

I'm a big bug guy!

00:12:15,971 --> 00:12:17,941

Tyrannis: Uhhhh! Aah!

00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:18,943

Uhh!

00:12:19,077 --> 00:12:20,413

Ah!

00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:23,820

Do you see this over there?

That's friggin' Persia!

00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:25,156

Stupendous: I get it!

This whole day

00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:26,926

has been a luck-filled

tickle party,

00:12:27,026 --> 00:12:28,797

but it's about to get real.

00:12:28,864 --> 00:12:30,868

You're gonna see blood comin'

out of places

00:12:30,968 --> 00:12:32,772

you didn't know blood was from.

00:12:32,872 --> 00:12:34,307

Tyrannis: Stupe,

you're freaking them out.

00:12:34,441 --> 00:12:36,946

Stupendous: I should

freak them out! That's war!

00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,220

And all due respect to your

suit, I think I should be

00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,556

at the front lines.

00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:43,359

I'm a master of

hand-to-hand combat.

00:12:43,459 --> 00:12:46,398

I feel like some time over

the course of today,

00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:47,634

we all forgot that.

00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:48,971

Tyrannis:

If it's so important to you

00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:51,142

to be at the front,

go ahead.

00:12:51,810 --> 00:12:53,011

[Tyrannis and Stupendous

yell]

00:12:53,112 --> 00:12:55,049

King of the Valley:

Ah, hello, hello!

00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:56,919

Sorry, I was just

washing my hair.

00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,857

I didn't expect anyone

at this hour.

00:12:58,957 --> 00:13:00,994

Invaders usually

wait until sundown.

00:13:01,095 --> 00:13:02,765

Tyrannis:

See? Element of surprise.

00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,467

Stupendous:

Don't let your guard down.

00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:05,704

King of the Valley: Let

me guess--

00:13:05,804 --> 00:13:07,173

you're here to conquer us.

00:13:07,306 --> 00:13:08,910

Tyrannis: It's the suit

that gave it away, isn't it?

00:13:09,010 --> 00:13:10,446

King of the Valley:

I mean, it's a great suit.

00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:13,419

But seriously, we're the

first city on the outskirts

00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:14,789

of the Persian empire.

00:13:14,889 --> 00:13:16,559

This kind of thing

happens all the time.

00:13:16,659 --> 00:13:18,196

Stupendous:

Where's your army?

00:13:18,296 --> 00:13:19,933

King of the Valley: Hmm, at this

time of day? Probably napping,

00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,603

but they wouldn't get involved

with this anyway.

00:13:21,703 --> 00:13:24,074

Stupendous: They wouldn't get

involved with an invasion?

00:13:24,174 --> 00:13:25,611

King of the Valley:

Oh, if they did,

00:13:25,711 --> 00:13:27,013

they'd have no time

for their families!

00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:30,186

No, I'm serious.

This happens all the time.

00:13:30,253 --> 00:13:33,059

We don't really care

who's in charge.

00:13:33,159 --> 00:13:35,196

So, feel free to

introduce a new religion.

00:13:35,296 --> 00:13:37,100

And, of course, we expect

some kind of tax,

00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,637

so don't worry about that.

00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:40,708

Oh, and some conquerors

like to impose

00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:42,712

their architectural style,

00:13:42,845 --> 00:13:45,283

which I think makes

the city pretty eclectic,

00:13:45,383 --> 00:13:46,653

so, yeah, go for it.

00:13:46,753 --> 00:13:48,156

We just ask that

you don't kill us.

00:13:48,256 --> 00:13:49,592

Tyrannis: I'm down for that.

Look at that, Stupe.

00:13:49,726 --> 00:13:50,861

It was that easy.

00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:52,097

Stupendous:

Are you frickin' kidding me?

00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,534

You know there's

gotta be a catch.

00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,236

Tyrannis: Or maybe my instincts

were just right,

00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:56,640

like they have been

this whole time.

00:13:56,706 --> 00:13:57,942

Is that so hard to believe?

00:13:58,042 --> 00:13:59,678

Stupendous: Yes!

It's impossible to believe!

00:13:59,812 --> 00:14:01,683

Tyrannis: What are you

so upset about?

00:14:01,783 --> 00:14:03,252

Stupendous:

What am I so upset about?

00:14:03,352 --> 00:14:05,457

You ruined conquering

Persia for me!

00:14:05,558 --> 00:14:06,860

Tyrannis: What?

But we did it!

00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:09,364

Stupendous: No, you did it.

This was my dream.

00:14:09,497 --> 00:14:10,968

King of the Valley:

We get invaded every day,

00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:12,504

but we don't see this

every day.

00:14:12,671 --> 00:14:14,809

Tyrannis: Maybe it was your

dream, but you never did it.

00:14:14,909 --> 00:14:16,245

That dream was up for grabs.

00:14:16,378 --> 00:14:18,216

I think you're just mad

because you lost your groove

00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,588

when your army left you

to make birdhouses.

00:14:20,755 --> 00:14:22,323

Stupendous: I hate you

in that suit!

00:14:22,456 --> 00:14:25,129

King of the Valley: Hoo-hoo!

That seemed pretty messy,

00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:29,104

but we've got a dynamite tub if

you want to clean yourself up.

00:14:29,238 --> 00:14:31,475

OK, that didn't make

much sense,

00:14:31,576 --> 00:14:33,045

but you can take a bath.

00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:35,416

[Sniffs]

Please take a bath.

00:14:37,813 --> 00:14:39,257

Barkeep: So, you're

new around here, huh?

00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:41,461

Stupendous: Yeah. I heard

this was a soldiers' bar.

00:14:41,461 --> 00:14:43,332

Wanted to come be

around my people.

00:14:43,332 --> 00:14:45,638

Ohh, look who's up

from their naps!

00:14:45,771 --> 00:14:47,908

Cheers. You got a new

goof-off king.

00:14:48,042 --> 00:14:49,377

Persian soldier: Hey!

You're General Stupendous

00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:51,182

of Krapopolis, aren't you?

Stupendous: Uh-huh.

00:14:51,282 --> 00:14:53,452

I wish we could have met

under different circumstances

00:14:53,553 --> 00:14:55,090

because you look like

good strong guys

00:14:55,223 --> 00:14:57,461

who would put up a fight.

00:14:57,562 --> 00:14:58,564

[Slurps]

00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,600

A net?

Are you kidding me?

00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,370

Aah!

[Thud]

00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:05,911

King of the Valley:

King Ty? Your sister is back.

00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:07,080

Tyrannis: I don't want to

talk to her

00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,684

unless she's here

to apologize.

00:15:08,817 --> 00:15:10,252

Does she look sheepish?

00:15:10,386 --> 00:15:12,858

King of the Valley: I guess I've

seen a sheep in a cage before,

00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:14,194

so, yeah, kind of.

00:15:14,328 --> 00:15:15,664

Stupendous: I told you

there'd be a catch!

00:15:15,764 --> 00:15:16,867

I told you it

wouldn't be easy!

00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:18,369

Tyrannis: What is

happening here?

00:15:18,504 --> 00:15:20,006

We had a gentleman's

agreement about my takeover.

00:15:20,106 --> 00:15:21,510

I thought you were

conquered all the time.

00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:23,045

King of the Valley:

If you don't learn something

00:15:23,179 --> 00:15:24,448

every time you get conquered,

00:15:24,516 --> 00:15:26,284

what are you even doing

being the guy

00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:29,592

who runs the city on the far

reaches of the Persian empire?

00:15:29,693 --> 00:15:30,961

It's not personal.

00:15:31,061 --> 00:15:32,464

Tyrannis: I'm coming, Stupe!

00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:33,533

Deliria: Shlub!

00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,871

I half-expected you to be

off on one of your

00:15:35,971 --> 00:15:37,240

lost centuries.

00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:38,877

Shlub: I owe you an apology.

00:15:38,977 --> 00:15:40,847

I wasn't mad about

the kink-shame,

00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,052

which is, of course,

the ultimate kink.

00:15:43,119 --> 00:15:45,957

I was mad about the turtle

and ashamed to admit it.

00:15:46,024 --> 00:15:48,129

Deliria: Oh, the turtle

meant nothing.

00:15:48,229 --> 00:15:50,767

Honestly, it only appealed to me

because I thought it was you.

00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:54,108

Turtles don't normally talk, and

this one really talked like you.

00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:55,410

Shlub: Well, that's peculiar.

00:15:55,511 --> 00:15:56,847

Deliria: You know, it makes

me wonder

00:15:56,913 --> 00:15:58,048

if that turtle was

someone else

00:15:58,148 --> 00:15:59,384

who had

visited your wizard.

00:15:59,484 --> 00:16:01,757

Ha! Shagging a chair

is quite odd.

00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:03,259

Shlub: Its legs were very sexy.

00:16:03,359 --> 00:16:05,731

And I know how you are,

so I expected a challenge.

00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,033

What did you turn into anyway?

00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,137

Deliria: Oh, the dowdiest

mortal woman.

00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:10,508

You should have seen it.

00:16:10,608 --> 00:16:12,343

Shlub: Oh, I would have

been all over that.

00:16:12,477 --> 00:16:13,580

Deliria: I know!

00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,984

Shlub: Maybe we shouldn't

complicate things so much.

00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:18,088

Deliria:

Or...this was a success.

00:16:18,188 --> 00:16:20,527

We wanted to spice things up,

and we both felt jealousy

00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:24,267

for the first time--me for

a chair, you for a turtle--

00:16:24,368 --> 00:16:26,338

and I don't know

what criteria you use,

00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:29,044

but that's pretty

spicy to me.

00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:30,781

Shlub: You're right.

Now, come over here

00:16:30,881 --> 00:16:32,016

and let me sit on you.

00:16:32,150 --> 00:16:34,021

Scott: Why'd you do it, Hippo?

00:16:34,121 --> 00:16:35,591

Hippocampus:

I needed a win, OK?

00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:38,362

Everyone always expects

so much from me, and I keep

00:16:38,462 --> 00:16:40,499

churning out inventions

that never get used,

00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,704

and then the minute I can't

think of a good idea,

00:16:42,838 --> 00:16:45,644

my stupid brother shows up

in a confidence suit.

00:16:45,744 --> 00:16:48,315

Scott: That's gotta be tough,

but I don't know the feeling.

00:16:48,448 --> 00:16:50,352

I wish someone would

expect something from me.

00:16:50,419 --> 00:16:53,192

My father wasn't really

around growing up, and I--

00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:54,762

Hippocampus:

I've got to stop you.

00:16:54,862 --> 00:16:56,533

I didn't even know you were

a palace guard until today.

00:16:56,633 --> 00:16:58,537

I can't pretend we have

this kind of relationship.

00:16:58,637 --> 00:17:00,674

We should probably just grab

a couple of mops

00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:02,043

and clean this up.

00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:03,445

Scott: If you're so hard up

for ideas,

00:17:03,546 --> 00:17:05,951

why not invent something

that cleans up moth guts?

00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:08,388

Hippocampus:

That's not a bad idea!

00:17:08,488 --> 00:17:10,794

Thank you...

00:17:10,894 --> 00:17:12,798

Scott: Scott!

My name is Scott!

00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,000

I'm a palace guard!

00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:17,073

Why do you guys

never remember me?!

00:17:17,173 --> 00:17:18,408

Tyrannis: What is

going on here?

00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:19,913

Stupendous: They had

a strategy, Ty,

00:17:20,046 --> 00:17:21,482

which we should have had,

which I did have.

00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,219

Timon: And she was properly

wary of Barfus and me.

00:17:23,352 --> 00:17:25,390

Tyrannis: What? Why would anyone

be wary of you guys?

00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:27,795

Barfus: Because we're spies,

ya nimrod.

00:17:27,895 --> 00:17:29,063

Stupendous:

Of course they are.

00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:30,299

Tyrannis: But Timon

is a dentist.

00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:31,903

He talks about

it all the time.

00:17:32,003 --> 00:17:33,372

Timon: There's no such

thing as a dentist!

00:17:33,439 --> 00:17:34,942

Why would anyone

clean a tooth?

00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:37,346

It's just gonna get more food

on it the next time you eat.

00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,518

Tyrannis: But you put your

hands in all of our mouths.

00:17:39,619 --> 00:17:42,156

Barfus: You have no idea how

many times I wanted to tell you

00:17:42,256 --> 00:17:44,128

I thought you was right

and Ty was wrong,

00:17:44,194 --> 00:17:45,496

but part of being a spy

00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:48,002

is keeping

that sort of thing to yourself.

00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:49,605

Stupendous: I appreciate

that, Barfus.

00:17:49,706 --> 00:17:51,475

King of the Valley: First of

all, I want to thank you guys

00:17:51,576 --> 00:17:53,780

for this opportunity to

make some demands

00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,085

on another kingdom for a change.

00:17:56,218 --> 00:17:57,555

It's super refreshing!

00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,491

Tyrannis: Can't you

just break out of that cage?

00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:01,529

Stupendous: Maybe,

if you'd apologize.

00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,099

Tyrannis: I'm sorry, OK?

You were right.

00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:04,836

Stupendous: Thank you!

Now, of course I can

00:18:04,969 --> 00:18:06,371

break out of this cage,

00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:08,977

but I'm not gonna just take on

these guys on my own.

00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:10,647

I was right,

but I'm not stupid.

00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:13,152

You got us into this,

you gotta get us out.

00:18:13,252 --> 00:18:14,454

Tyrannis: What are the demands?

00:18:14,555 --> 00:18:16,058

King of the Valley:

Immediate retreat,

00:18:16,158 --> 00:18:17,293

and we get control

of the mountain pass

00:18:17,393 --> 00:18:18,563

you took to get in here.

00:18:18,663 --> 00:18:20,266

Stupendous: Make him

give up that suit.

00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:21,536

King of the Valley: All right,

I don't care.

00:18:21,669 --> 00:18:23,238

Stupendous:

Oh, and make him say,

00:18:23,338 --> 00:18:25,343

"I'm a silly king who

didn't know what I was doing

00:18:25,443 --> 00:18:27,146

and got in over my head."

00:18:27,213 --> 00:18:28,482

Tyrannis: Seriously, Stupe?

Why don't you tell us

00:18:28,616 --> 00:18:30,119

how you

let yourself get captured?

00:18:30,186 --> 00:18:31,590

I'm sure there wasn't

any silliness there.

00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:33,392

Persian Soldier:

She was drinking in our bar.

00:18:33,527 --> 00:18:35,229

Persian Soldier 2: We were

gonna go and get her after,

00:18:35,329 --> 00:18:37,300

but then there she was,

just sitting there in our bar.

00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:38,970

Persian soldier 1:

Our Persian soldier bar!

00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:40,273

Persian Soldier 2:

So, we were like,

00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:41,909

"Should we just

bust out the net?"

00:18:41,976 --> 00:18:43,680

Stupendous: OK, OK.

Truce.

00:18:43,746 --> 00:18:45,617

King of the

Valley: So...you guys good?

00:18:45,717 --> 00:18:48,590

- Hmm?

- Um, yeah...

00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:51,529

King of the Valley: I love it!

I'm gonna dine out on this story

00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:52,665

for a long time.

00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,002

Soldier: Aah!

00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,872

Tyrannis:

Well, that was a bust.

00:18:56,973 --> 00:18:58,843

Stupendous: Yeah,

but can I be honest?

00:18:58,943 --> 00:19:00,547

I kind of do like suit you.

00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:02,250

I was in a rut, and you gave

me something

00:19:02,317 --> 00:19:03,419

to be excited about again.

00:19:03,553 --> 00:19:05,255

Tyrannis:

Thank you for saying that.

00:19:05,356 --> 00:19:07,828

Honestly, I got so wrapped up

in finally getting respect.

00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:09,164

At least we got off easy.

00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,834

Stupendous: Sure.

What could the Persians do

00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:13,806

with control of the only known

overland pass to Krapopolis

00:19:13,906 --> 00:19:16,044

and the knowledge of

when and how to cross it?

00:19:16,177 --> 00:19:17,781

Tyrannis: Let's call that

a tomorrow problem.

00:19:17,848 --> 00:19:19,985

Bard: Ooh, what kind of song

would you like for this?

00:19:20,085 --> 00:19:21,388

An inspirational dirge?

00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,359

- Go to hell, Bard!

- Give it a rest, Bard.

00:19:23,459 --> 00:19:24,662

Tyrannis:

You know who I miss?

00:19:24,729 --> 00:19:26,398

Stupendous:

That guy we yell at, yeah.

00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,503

Tyrannis: Uh, what's

his name? S...

00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:31,207

- Scooter.

- No. Scoo--Ska--Ska?

00:19:31,341 --> 00:19:32,711

Ska! Skaa...n.

00:19:32,811 --> 00:19:35,216

Stupendous: Ugh! why did I

think it would be a good idea

00:19:35,349 --> 00:19:36,519

to do this in the dark?

00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:37,955

Tyrannis: Is that snow?

Is it snowing?

00:19:38,088 --> 00:19:39,457

Soldier: What?

Soldiers: Ohh...

00:19:39,558 --> 00:19:41,028

Tyrannis: Everybody,

find your buddies and hold on.

00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:42,330

We can do this!

00:19:42,396 --> 00:19:43,767

Joshua: My buddy is a goat.

Is that OK?

00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:45,937

Stupendous: When we retaliate,

let's send Joshua

00:19:46,038 --> 00:19:47,273

to the front line.

00:19:47,339 --> 00:19:49,010

Tyrannis: I was thinking

exactly the same thing.

00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:52,283

Stupendous: Anybody

can be Skaan!

00:19:52,383 --> 00:19:53,887

Tyrannis and Stupendous:

Ha ha ha!

00:19:53,953 --> 00:19:57,661

Joshua: They're gonna find out

nobody laughs at Joshua.

00:19:57,794 --> 00:20:00,499

Heh heh heh!

00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,369

Joshua!

00:20:05,009 --> 00:20:07,046

Chira: So, did the suit not work

out?

00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:08,082

Tyrannis: No, it did.

00:20:08,282 --> 00:20:10,787

I conquered Persia, but then

I realized I didn't have

00:20:10,887 --> 00:20:13,292

to wear a different outfit

to be myself.

00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:15,163

Chira: Well, if everyone

has that realization,

00:20:15,296 --> 00:20:16,866

I'll be out of a job.

00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,235

[Laughter]

00:20:18,335 --> 00:20:20,139

Also, sounds like

a pretty incomplete version

00:20:20,239 --> 00:20:22,210

of the story,

but I know what you're saying.

00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:24,549

Sometimes I feel like

I can't really be myself.

00:20:24,649 --> 00:20:26,652

Take my dead husband.

He took an arrow

00:20:26,786 --> 00:20:28,422

through the ear hole

in Mycenae.

00:20:28,557 --> 00:20:32,230

I toyed with the idea of selling

a hat that looked like that,

00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:34,201

with an arrow

through your head,

00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:35,970

but who's gonna buy

something fun like that

00:20:36,071 --> 00:20:37,040

from a war widow?

00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,409

People got no sense of humor.

00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:39,846

Tyrannis: Well, I think

it's pretty funny.

00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:42,785

Don't doubt yourself.

Chira: I appreciate that.

00:20:42,918 --> 00:20:44,120

Scott: Turn her back!

00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:45,523

Wizard: I have professional

integrity.

00:20:45,624 --> 00:20:47,794

I'm not gonna undo

any spell unless--

00:20:47,894 --> 00:20:49,131

Scott: Turn her back!

00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:50,299

Miriam, as the chair:

Oh, for God's sakes.

00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:51,468

Wizard, it's OK.

00:20:51,569 --> 00:20:53,105

Wizard: [Sighs]

Zap.

00:20:53,239 --> 00:20:54,708

Miriam: There, Scott.

Ya happy now?

00:20:54,808 --> 00:20:57,013

I mean, we just started

sleeping together, and you're

00:20:57,113 --> 00:20:58,482

already pulling this?

00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,920

Scott: Everything was going

great until this wizard--

00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:03,058

Wizard: Hey! Don't blame me

for your problems.

00:21:03,158 --> 00:21:05,263

I'm just an immigrant from the

North trying to make a living

00:21:05,363 --> 00:21:06,833

for my wizlands!

00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,769

Miriam: Look, Scott, if you want

to be with me, you have

00:21:08,903 --> 00:21:12,377

to understand that sometimes

I like to be a sexy chair.

00:21:12,477 --> 00:21:14,047

Scott: I'm fine with that!

00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,819

But just sometimes,

can you want to be

00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:20,059

a sexy chair with me?

00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:21,195

Miriam: Mm!

00:21:21,295 --> 00:21:22,664

Wizard: I hate these

slip-trip...

00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:25,904

[Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep

bleep]

00:21:26,004 --> 00:21:27,040

flappers.

00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:28,275

Oh, hey, Paizo.

00:21:28,408 --> 00:21:30,948

Miriam: You taste so good.

00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:32,617

Man: Did you get any of that?

00:21:35,022 --> 00:21:36,525

- Bento.

[People cheering]